- I'm Juno Birch, a glamorous alien woman,

who crash landed on Earth in 1962.

Ever since I've been trying to tragically,

dress like a lady but kind of doing it a bit clumsily.

[upbeat jazzy music]

Hello, I'm Juno Birch and I'm stunning.

I'm now gonna take off this mask

and become really stunning and purple.

I'm feeling like a lavender alien today

and it's gonna look stunning.

So I've been chopping my foundation in this tin foil

and adding purple to make a gorgeous lavender tone.

We're concealing all of the human today.

The first time I ever painted my face

I was about 13 years old and I went to drama class

and we all had to be like characters

and I chose to be the Joker.

I wore like bright white makeup and massive red lips.

I felt so stunning and as a 13 year old boy,

I kinda got to hide that, at the time.

I was just like feeling every oat.

I'm contouring now with a bit of purple.

Just to make these cheek bones even bigger.

First time I ever painted myself blue,

I was at a Halloween Party and I attempted

to be Miss Argentina from Beetle Juice.

I turned out just looking like a crusty Smurf,

but now I've just evolved into this stunning alien.

Really cake this on,

and this is gonna like completely pastelize the color.

Of course I've got really had asthma,

because [clears throat] I'm a diva.

So I put like white here,

it makes my nose look really small.

Start contouring with different eye shadows.

I like lavendery tones.

So now and again when I'm not doing drag,

I'll be doing a sculpture to pay the rent, of course.

A lot of the time my sculptures

will like exaggerate artificial beauty.

Very often I'll make like a sculpture

and design a look first, and then do it on myself.

My ideas are influenced by characters from movies,

Rocky Horror was one of the things

that really hit me as a child.

I was watching all these people

really just enjoying themselves

and being fabulous, no matter what gender they were.

Now I'm gonna add on these beautiful eyebrows.

If I go up like this, she's nasty, and she's a bitch,

but when I drag it down, she's nice again.

I've mixed like a very, very, very pale blue.

I'm gonna mark out this brow.

When I was a kid I would draw really exaggerated women

with like massive breasts and like really long hair

and high heels and that was my way of escapism

and it was kind of like the femineity

I lacked and craved as a child,

I just drew out on paper because that was my way

of coping with being trapped in the wrong body.

When I was younger, I used to think drag

is just a man in a dress so me being trans,

I was like there's no way I could do drag.

I think there's like a misconception

that drag queens are only men,

but actually anybody can do drag.

Trans women can do drag, cis women can do drag,

cis men can do drag, anybody can do drag.

I've fucked up this brow a little bit,

but we can fix it, it's fine.

Since I've moved to Manchester,

I've felt so welcomed by all of the queens here.

Everybody's just so nice

and there's like a really strong community here.

I'm gonna do some really stunning lips now.

Really big, Jennifer Coolidge lips.

Also, I like to kind of extend the sides

so that it looks like I'm going [growls].

This is a Jennifer Coolidge playing the character Fiona

in the movie "Cinderella Story".

Jennifer is like an icon and I absolutely love her.

Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn in "Death Becomes Her"

when they're literally falling to pieces,

that kind of character where they're really fabulous

but like really tragic,

that's what really inspires my sculptures.

It's kinda like the alien woman's been dragged through

a hatch and she's stunning.

So now that I've got this on,

we're gonna make this even more stunning

with some white foundation in the middle

and make it a lot paler and make it look like

I have had so much Botox.

Ah, oh I look so stunning, but beauty is pain.

I'm gonna put some white on my eyelids.

Just gonna blend that out.

This is one of my sculptures that I've made

and the color that I'm doing today

is basically based on her.

Look at that bootie.

[singing]

I'm thinking just a little subtle wing today.

Beautiful, natural, sexy slits.

Sometimes if I make a right shit tip of my eye,

just cover it with a big fat lash.

Absolutely love '60s eye make up.

I love '60s sunglasses even more

because, you know, when you see photos

of women from the '60s wearing those sunglasses,

they actually look like aliens

with the big massive beehive hair, big cat eyes.

Mars Attacks is like one of my biggest inspirations

for my looks 'cause it's like an alien in disguise.

Like the huge massive hair hiding the brain,

and like look, look, look.

Haven't the slightest fucking thing that she's saying.

She's going on, let me off.

Those wings are looking pretty stunning.

Oh, that's clumpy, oh.

Have my eyeball gone black?

Stunning.

Eye lash glue, just snip in the middle a bit short,

because I like them to go out

and not too much on the inside.

Oh it looks stunning already.

That second lash going on, and she's on.

So a lot of the time on the sculptures

or on the makeup I'll do stubble dots

or highlight the Adam's Apple,

big broad shoulders, celebrations of trans bodies.

For such a long time I was insecure

about my Adam's Apple, my deep voice,

and now it's kind of like a celebration

of my trans journey and kind of made me a beautiful alien.

Now I'm gonna do a bit of highlighting.

This makes me look 10 times more artificial.

My makeup's done now, so alls I've got to do now

is put my wig on and my sunglasses and my fabulous outfit.

[upbeat rock music]

Her name is Linda and she goes shopping

in the supermarkets for human groceries.

She's stunning, she's an alien.

She's a stunning alien.

She likes to go to the supermarket

and buy lots of vegetables,

[soft jazzy music]

banana,

[soft jazzy music]

some milk, two big melons,

[soft jazzy music]

maybe some Ariel washing powder.

Who knows.

[soft jazzy music]

All household things that'll make her look

like she's kind of blending in.

Darling, could I get a bag please?

I'm not actually paying, so bye darling.

[soft jazzy music]

This is a customer annoucement.

Juno Birch speaking here, just to let you all know,

there is a special offer on extreme beauty today.

So make way, darlings.

[soft jazzy music]

Thank you Vogue.com, you've been stunning.

[soft jazzy music]

Also, Helen, there is a spillage on aisle five.

Could you please clean it up?

Thank you, darling.