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  • What's up guys, hope you're doing well and welcome to Talking to Myself, a talk show,

  • where I talk to myself.

  • Today, we're talking about online dating.

  • The only dating you'll ever do.

  • Returning to the show we have Da'Quann.

  • You already know what it is.

  • South side hold it down.

  • East side, west side, northeast south side.

  • We also have Lay-Lay.

  • It is such a great pleasure to be here today.

  • And last but not least, how could we forget the lovely Scootera.

  • Thank you for having me.

  • You need to be having a breath mint...breath smelling like moist garbage.

  • A wise person once said, the haters are going to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate...

  • I know you ain't quoting Taylor Swift.

  • I love Taylor Swift.

  • I'm just going to shake...

  • Breath smelling like the Great Depression.

  • Just think, while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty

  • cheats of the world, you could've been getting down to this sick beat.

  • Ok, that was a little bit unexpected.

  • Yeah, like when your moms had you.

  • Really Da'Quann?

  • Ok, we're going to do this right now?

  • First of all I was planned I think, not that you would even know about that.

  • Yeah I would.

  • How?

  • How?

  • Kanye West...how?

  • Cause I'm your daddy.

  • Oh.

  • You being anyone's father is a scary thought.

  • You see what I have to deal with.

  • You being naked is even scarier.

  • Alright you guys, you know what...let's just go to the first question.

  • Lay-Lay do they have online dating in your country?

  • I do not understand.

  • Online dating is just like regular dating except you search for your partner using the

  • web.

  • How big is this web?

  • Because if we are searching for people in it it must be a big web.

  • And what of the spider that made this web?

  • I hate spiders!

  • Must we defeat it...because that is how I lost my third foot.

  • No, it's not a literal web.

  • It's the World Wide Web.

  • There is a World Wide Web?

  • This is what the ancestors warned about.

  • No, he means like the Internet.

  • So like, Internet dating.

  • Why did you not say this?

  • I thought I did.

  • You got Internet in your country.

  • Yes of course.

  • We have free wi-fi as well.

  • That is how I found my first 3 wives.

  • Somehow I still feel like we're not talking about the same thing.

  • Why don't we go to our next question.

  • Da'Quann, do you really think an online dating site is necessary for you?

  • Cause I'm sure you get all the ladies.

  • Aww man...you already know I got more ladies on deck than a cruise ship to Chipotle.

  • Can you even swim?

  • I love Chipotle.

  • But like I was saying, anything to implement my amount of women is good and beneficial.

  • I'm pretty sure what you meant to say was supplement or augment.

  • That's what I said.

  • No you didn't.

  • Yeah, and good and beneficial mean like the same thing.

  • So you're just being repugnant.

  • Scootera, I think you meant to say redundant.

  • Although, technically that could still work.

  • That's not what D said.

  • Who's D?

  • Deez Nuts!

  • Ahhhh!

  • Wow!!!

  • You're so disgusting Da'Quann!

  • Really Da'Quann!

  • I love Deez Nuts they are the best kind to eat.

  • Uhh...I'm not sure what you meant to say there.

  • Maybe something was lost in translation.

  • I say I love Deez Nuts, you must try them sometime.

  • Nahh, I'm good.

  • I'm good.

  • I got my own two.

  • I got my own two.

  • What do they taste like?

  • They taste like...

  • Why don't we move on to the next question.

  • My question is for everyone and the question is have you ever been catfished while on online

  • dating?

  • I love catfish.

  • Oh no, it's not that type of catfish.

  • I do not understand.

  • When someone pretends to be someone they're not in online dating they're said to be a

  • catfish.

  • Say you thought you were talking to this pretty little white girl, then it turns out to be

  • a 57-year-old black man...you just got catfished.

  • I will never get catfished.

  • Never again!

  • Man that's alright.

  • Little Scoot-Scoot gets catfished all the time.

  • Ok, no I don't, first of all, and second off, I told you not to call me Scoot-Scoot anymore.

  • U mad?

  • Yeah, that's why I don't really like online dating that much.

  • I just think it's weird.

  • I like meeting people in normal places.

  • Like where?

  • It's just like, I just feel like if you're using an app for dating...like you must be

  • really desperate.

  • Your elbows are desperate for some lotion.

  • Like, if you can't get anyone IRL

  • How your elbows look like Iggy Azalea.

  • I-g-g-y

  • ...you have to resort to using online dating.

  • You know I've actually heard that before.

  • That's an interesting perspective, but I think online dating is the future.

  • There is no dating in your future.

  • Whatchu mean.

  • But like you said, what if they turn out to be a 57-year-old black man...

  • Never again!

  • ...or even worse, what if they turn out to be fat?

  • Fat people need love to.

  • That's what Skype's for.

  • What is this Skype you speak of?

  • It's an online video chatting program.

  • Looking like Chewbacca.

  • Says the broke little boy.

  • If Chewbacca gained 17 pounds he would look just like you.

  • I do not understand.

  • I have one question for you...what are those?

  • These are Jordans.

  • These are Jordans!

  • Maybe Marcus Jordans.

  • Oh!

  • That was a burn.

  • You lucky I'm on parole.

  • Whatever!

  • I'm tired of you Da'Quann.

  • Ok, everyone just relax and just calm down.

  • Ok?

  • Let's just go to the talk question.

  • Da'Quann, would you ever use FarmersMeet.com?

  • Ayy, like I had previously stated, anything that increments and augmentates my amount

  • of women is good and helpful to me.

  • Stop repeating yourself.

  • You're so repugnant.

  • You're moms is repugnant.

  • When do we battle this spider?

  • Get your money up...go buy some actual Jordans.

  • Well, that's all we have for this week.

  • Let's talk about hygiene.

  • Make sure to follow me on Twitter and Snapchat @ScooterMagruder for a chance to be featured

  • in the next video and leave a comment down below.

  • What should we talk about next?

  • As always, new videos every Sunday.

  • No Jugamos Juegos.

  • Throw me the alley.

  • I'm a grown man.

What's up guys, hope you're doing well and welcome to Talking to Myself, a talk show,

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自分自身に話す - オンラインデート (Talking to Myself - Online Dating)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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