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  • you are about to see a clip that was made by me.

  • David Hoffman, filmmaker.

  • Back at a time with a very special time in the evolution of smoking cigarettes in America, girls were smoking.

  • Women had always smoked cigarettes, but high school girls were adopting cigarettes at an alarming rate.

  • So the American Cancer Society gave me the chance to talk to women, to try to influence girls, not to smoke.

  • Now this is interesting what they were showing in schools at that time you may have seen this is lungs that were all black and people with holes in their throats talking through gadgets.

  • It wasn't working.

  • Girls were taking them cigarettes in spite of that.

  • Why?

  • Because part of the reason for the cigarette was rebellion, and part of the reason for the cigarette was cool.

  • So what I tried to do is do something that was somewhat different.

  • If you're a smoker, I'd like to know what you think.

  • If you're not a smoker, would this have worked on you with this?

  • Have kept you from smoking?

  • The film you're about to see is not a drama.

  • It's not a story.

  • It's not a piece of entertainment.

  • It's simply ordinary women talking about a personal problem, a problem that on a worldwide basis is killing more of us now than ever before.

  • The problem is cigarette smoking, and the people are really It was 1967.

  • Okay.

  • In fact, I started smoking April 17th of 1967.

  • Okay, that's going to have my first real cigarette that I inhaled.

  • Okay, Before that, I had smoked out behind the barn and just blow it out.

  • But that was the 1st 1 And I remember it because we're standing on Main Street.

  • Um, a friend of mine and I and this guy went around the rotary and he was with his parents, and it was someone from school, you know, when he was the big jock, it's school.

  • And so it was, You know, we thought we were cool because when they came back around, we had a cigarette.

  • I took my first drag of a cigarette when I waas eight.

  • 23 Now.

  • So how long is that?

  • I forget?

  • It makes me relaxed.

  • I enjoy it.

  • It's part of my relax ation.

  • My time to myself.

  • After you make love one of the nicest things about making love is if you're both smokers, is to sit back and both of you share a cigarette together.

  • I got a job on a major newspaper in Houston eventually, and very quickly got to the point that I never turned to a top writer without lighting a cigarette.

  • It was just something to do with your hands.

  • It gave me something to do with my hands.

  • It's something to do with my hands.

  • I'm at an interview.

  • It's more acceptable to smoke a cigarette than it is to, like, take out my pen and paper and, you know, drug little creatures or something on school mornings when I get up, I have a cigarette before I get out of it before you can go to the bathroom.

  • I have a cigarette and then I have them on the island on the way to school.

  • And then I have one second.

  • Did I get out of school?

  • And I probably that's where I probably have the most from after school until dinner.

  • Just Constant spoke, and I smoke doing my homework after dinner and on the weekends I took from the moment I get up all through the day.

  • I spoke most of the day that whenever I'm doing anything driving, I spoke everything I do, I smoke Well, guys, you know, they go.

  • You know, that's that's how they they hold it like this, you know?

  • And they like their movement.

  • Movie person, girls just, you know, hold it like that.

  • Girls are much more of this book.

  • Very prim and proper.

  • Really long cigarettes, like, very something sort of sexy about it.

  • And to blow the smoke through your nose or the French inhale those sign of class.

  • I just couldn't direct my energy through the cigarette as opposed to allowing it to go through my body and be seen that way.

  • So, you know, I can do little things like that and display with cigarette.

  • Okay, I'm nervous.

  • And the first thing I have to do is have a cigarette.

  • That's gonna make me feel better.

  • Um, I didn't It didn't help anything at all.

  • Well, it was a month.

  • A month ago, I told her star, but she she stopped and well, and it was Larry was still live.

  • Another and, um, she stopped smoked.

  • My mother stopped smoking, but Larry didn't.

  • He kept on smoking.

  • Then we went upstairs me of my brother to consider at some random underwater.

  • When I quit, I the first day, I feel like I'm in control.

  • You know, I have one.

  • I've quit.

  • This horror will have it.

  • Now I'm in control again.

  • And the second day, it's like, Don't come near me, kids, because I don't know what I'm gonna do to you, okay?

  • Don't talk to me.

  • Don't look at me.

  • The eighth day is always the worst for me.

  • Um, for some reason, I could just I could you know, I eat myself sick.

  • I screaming everyone.

  • I don't answer the phone.

  • I locked the doors, I locked myself away.

  • Hopefully not seeing anyone with cigarette, because if I do, I know I'm gonna grab it and smoke it.

  • You don't know you're becoming physically hooked on cigarettes.

  • You don't know because it happens slowly.

  • Gradually, you're enjoying the cigarette.

  • You're having them when you want them.

  • So you have no idea that your becoming addicted to it And you think you can quit whenever you want.

  • But you just don't want to right now, because you enjoy it.

  • I used to be able to sing and I took lessons singing and I was developing a fairly good high soprano and I hope to develop, maybe even in tow, a cholera chur.

  • Who knows?

  • But I would I decided to smoke rather than to be able to sing.

  • I didn't really decide to, but it was just easier.

  • I couldn't give it up.

  • And so now I'm 33 years old and I'm not gonna be able to sing like that ever.

  • I will never sing opera.

  • I am too old to learn net, but I've quit.

  • But I'm too old now.

  • You know, I smoke when I get home from work.

  • It's just not stopping during the night.

  • I wake up every couple hours and have a cigarette fell asleep with a cigarette, I guess.

  • And then my mother woke up.

  • She walked in the room.

  • My nightgown just burned off me and I had for a second and third degree burns all over me.

  • And I didn't stop me either.

  • I can't take a deep breath.

  • I cough all night long.

  • It literally hurts in my Jess constantly, But I can't.

  • It seemed to stop.

  • I guess I don't care.

  • At some point, I decided I really wanted to live.

  • And coming to that realization made me decide that I I had to make some changes in my life.

  • Um, I left a bad marriage.

  • I started a new business, and I quit smoking all in about three months.

  • And that was two years ago.

  • And I'm still not smoking.

  • My business is successful, and and, uh, I'm living alone with my son, feeling very good about myself.

  • It was smoking, for me was a form of suicide and almost acceptable form of suicide.

  • It was a ziff.

  • I got cancer and died of smoking.

  • It would be all right.

  • Nobody would be mad at me.

  • They feel sorry for me.

  • And, boy, I wanted out of life a lot of times out of my six Children only to ever smoked.

  • And the others were going I can't stand it, mom, you know, knock it off for you.

  • But I'd say, Look, I live here too.

  • I may be raising you, but I live here too, and I'm gonna be comfortable and do my own thing.

  • Now we're discriminated against were the oddballs of the world.

  • The people that smoke and, uh they blame us for pollution when it's really cars and factories.

  • And, uh, they say, say it spreads cancer.

  • Well, a lot of people that never smoked have cancer in this rain pollution.

  • This whole world is going right down the bucket because of pollution.

  • But it doesn't mean it's all cigarettes, but we can't smoke in.

  • Grocery stores were the housewives of the world.

  • We enjoy going out buying our groceries, planning our meals.

  • We enjoy being able to smoke in a supermarket while we're figuring how much everything costs.

  • And will we have enough a check out.

  • And now we cannot smoke in any of the stores or, you know, public places.

  • I cough.

  • Um, and I do cough up mucus.

  • Um, I used to get every wonder would have bronchitis.

  • At least twice.

  • I would have pneumonia.

  • I would have any upper respiratory disease.

  • You know, whatever you can think of.

  • I would have it.

  • I had read the, uh, sorry clown smoking where position said, uh uh, if you smell Ah, you get cancer, our emphysema, whatever.

  • If, uh if you don't smoke, then you gain weight and you have to die of a heart attack.

  • that's you know, that's not He felt there wasn't much choice.

  • There was medication is that there's a chewing gum that's out, uh, trying to get through this chewing gum.

  • It's, um, probably cost about $200.

  • No, that you had to chew about.

  • You start out chewing about 30 pieces a day.

  • It's very difficult to work with public showing 30 pieces of dag.

  • Uh, but there again, I I'm rationalizing because I've probably spend much more than $200 a year on cigarettes, which I can't afford, So I'm rationalizing my husband had him for semen.

  • You really had it, man, does he?

  • Very few nights that he was able to too low down.

  • I don't think it was an addiction with me because I quit just like that.

  • I just want you to just up whatever I feel like that, uh, I want to to do, I can I don't like nothing.

  • Take it, you know, have power over me.

  • But I was sitting in a chair in this room one night in February 1985 and just doing this sort of thing, like, you know, looking at TV or reading and doing things like this and and all of a sudden my hand went right here and there was a lump, and I knew it shouldn't be there.

  • It was very small, but it simply shouldn't be there.

  • And that was a Saturday and the following Monday or Tuesday.

  • I was at a doctor's office, and even though I had been X rayed in December, there was the shadow on the lung and he said, Worst the effect of Oh my God, I mean, this is not good.

  • So he sent me for a CAT scan and it was there.

  • And this means it was already metastasized into the left system.

  • The my first reaction was rage.

  • I mean, I shook my fist, it God, because I quit 12 years ago.

  • Dammit, I quit.

  • I should've had a break.

  • And I mean, that's exactly the way I feel, huh?

  • I mean, this is this wasn't fair, but they don't have to remind myself, which is a firm belief in my that only teenagers think life is fair.

  • Any people smoke for different reasons.

  • I think some people smoke socially.

  • I know people who smoke.

  • So, um, and they're addicted.

  • They just smoke When they're around people who smoke.

  • I think some people smoke for that reason, and some people smoke just cause they started with their friends and then they keep doing it.

  • Otherwise, I don't think people smoke because they want to be smoke.

  • They want to be.

  • I don't think anybody wants to be smoked.

  • I think people just smoke because I started, but I can't stop, I was told as I was dropped at the University of Texas from the dormitory steps to never come home with a cigarette, and I thought that was a very it's kind of sad thing for somebody to tell me when I was going off on what I hope was the big adventure of my life.

  • But right or wrong?

  • Whatever my father meant by saying it, I watched the cargo around the corner and I went to the corner drug store and bought a package of cigarettes.

  • I had never really fully thought it out our every thought to myself that I would begin smoking.

  • But this was rebellion.

  • This was You can't tell me what to do.

  • I'm grown up.

  • I'm gonna show you I'm grown up.

  • I'll do this and 30 years later, I was still smoking.

  • I'm addicted to cigarettes.

  • I have been since I was five years old.

  • I'm not ashamed of it.

  • I'm not proud of it because I don't want anybody else toe pick him up when they're five.

  • In fact, when I've caught my kids when they were five, I'll say it.

  • All right, take a deep breath and inhale it all the way down.

  • And when I threw up and say you want another one, they say no.

  • When I said Good, because I don't want you to smoke.

  • I don't want you to be hooked like me.

  • I paid attention to the warnings on the pack, but not by that time.

  • I was already hooked, you know?

  • And I figured I felt all right.

  • I felt as good as a smoking person feels.

  • So it didn't really make any difference to me when they put on that.

  • It did affect pregnancy or could affect the pregnancy.

  • Then it meant something to me, you know, because at that time was when I was starting to have kids.

  • Oh, yeah, I had a lot of problems.

  • I had eight miscarriages before I finally got a a live birth.

  • And, um, the doctor finally said to me, You know, maybe cigarette smoking does have something to do with it, so I just quit.

  • And as soon as he was born, I started right up again.

  • Which now I'm feeling bad about it.

  • If I quit, I mean, I had quit for eight months and didn't have any side effects.

  • I mean, I gained weight, but it was okay because I was pregnant.

  • Uh, long.

  • Why don't you quit?

  • I'm gonna take your cigarettes and throw them away.

  • This is bad for you.

  • I'm gonna cut him up.

  • Um, don't do this.

  • Oh, he tried everything.

  • It didn't work, though, till I was ready.

  • Oh, constantly talks about my smoking.

  • He just very much against cigarettes.

  • And when I start coughing, he says you're gonna die.

  • He knows it's awful.

  • He begs for me to stop.

  • I told him I just can't do it for him.

  • I can't do it for May.

  • So I feel real bad about that.

  • I was telling the people at work the other day at lunch, I said he'd be better off.

  • Just die.

  • And one of the nurses came to be later and she said, I think you need some help.

  • Should we all care about you?

  • And she was really shocked that I said that, but I meant it.

  • Awesome.

  • Not really very good, love.

  • Just stop.

  • Just put that cigarette out and just don't do it again.

  • Please don't let another one a little.

  • I know a lot of people can't do that, but they could try.

  • But Tae bring doesn't help.

  • Just put it out and then we leave.

  • Go.

  • I told you I I did stop for three months and all smokers rationalized we also my excuses to start again.

  • And I happened to be done by the seashore women And seeing this elderly lady, uh, sitting on the porch.

  • Very elderly smoking.

  • Oh, to heck with it.

  • You know, she's she's all right.

  • She's not what?

  • She seems perfectly helping, you know, uh, observed all from a moving car and, uh, start smoking again.

  • I don't think people I understand how hard it is to quit smoking.

  • They look at alcoholics and think you know how tough it is for the drunk to give up his his booze.

  • But they look at somebody that smokes and they get, um, very self righteous, you know, like, Well, what's wrong with you?

  • Why can't you quit smoking?

  • You know, what's your problem?

  • It's It's not like deciding to go to the movies.

  • I mean, it's really, really tough.

  • What I found myself doing months after I had no longer smoke cigarettes was This is what We're still letting people smoke in our home off.

  • A friend would toss a pack of cigarettes on the table.

  • I'd be talking to him and I I have one shaken out.

  • Oh, where'd that come from?

  • And have to stick it back in the pack.

  • It wasn't the fizzy, a logical addiction.

  • It was the psychological addiction.

  • It was just the trigger of seeing a pack of cigarettes laying there and without even thinking about it.

  • It was so subliminal.

  • I just shake one out and have it in my favorite fingers, ready to light up.

  • Um, and that took a long time to go away.

  • I'd say that took almost a year for that, too.

  • Just leave me.

  • You don't say I'm never gonna have another one.

  • That's what I tried all the other times.

  • You can't do that because suddenly it's cigarettes, your friend.

  • And it's almost like I've told my friend I'm never, ever gonna have him again.

  • So I didn't say I've lives.

  • Quit smoking.

  • I'm never gonna have another one.

  • I couldn't say that said, I'm not gonna have one today.

  • And then my husband for Christmas bought me, Ah, fake cigarette and it has a little filter on it, and that's lovely on.

  • And when I get really nervous, I just hold it and I don't use it as much now as I first did when I first started quitting.

  • But it's it's nice if you're at a bar and everyone's having a cigarette and you need something to do with your hands.

  • You hold a cigarette while you talk.

  • It's very natural.

  • Feels very good.

  • Can you think of anything that might make it easier for me?

  • But you never listen to me.

  • Well, you know, it's not as easy as you think.

  • You know it's all right.

  • I'll give you an example.

  • My quitting smoking would be like me saying to you, You can never suck your thumb again.

  • Okay, It's hard to stop something that you used to doing.

  • It's a habit I like to think the Val stop.

  • I like to think that when I'm older, I won't smoke anymore.

  • But then what's older?

  • You know?

  • I mean, everybody says I won't smoke when I'm older, But my mother's 44 she's still smoking.

  • And I don't want to be someone.

  • He went up 44.

  • I think I'm I'm gonna stop when?

  • Ah, I don't like to stop.

  • Maybe 10 years.

  • I don't know, but I I do not want to smoke the rest of my life.

  • But I don't know when I want to stop either.

  • I still don't know how it happened.

  • You know, one cigarette in 1943 started this.

  • They make it look very glamorous.

  • They make it look nice.

  • They make it look romantic, you know?

  • I mean, they're sitting at a table with candlelit dinner, and the man reaches over and lights your cigarette.

  • That's nice.

  • You know what shows with chivalry is not dead?

  • Um, that's not real life, but it looks good.

  • Um, I'm all for no advertising.

  • I really am.

  • I don't want my kids to think the same things that I think that G That does look good.

  • You know, or or think that I have sons and think that if they gonna take someone went out to dinner, they automatically gonna take this cigarette lighter so they can light their cigarettes over the dinner.

  • You know, I don't see that restricting their use legally stops anybody from doing it.

  • If somebody wants to destroy themselves, they'll find a way to do it.

  • No matter how many laws you pass and how many rules you make.

  • God help us.

  • If it's bandit, I mean the ones that are hooked like myself.

  • I mean, we wouldn't have any other choice but to get it from the black market unless the doctor and come through may be our government might come through with some of the money we're using on on the taxes on our cigarettes and work something out medically that would take care of us that are are addicted so we can get out and we can't get off of him.

  • Just somebody says cold turkey.

  • Uh, there's just some of us that can't do it that way, and I just happen to be one of them.

you are about to see a clip that was made by me.

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喫煙者としての女性の心のこもった物語は、女の子がやめるようになった (Woman's Heartfelt Story As A Cigarette Smoker Got Girls To Quit)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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