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  • Transcriber: TED Translators admin

  • No matter how hard you might try,

  • you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office

  • and turn your emotions off.

  • Feeling feelings is part of being human.

  • [The Way We Work]

  • A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work,

  • and this often leads us

  • to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold.

  • But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues

  • drop their glossy professional presentation,

  • we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.

  • We feel connected to the people around us.

  • We try harder, we perform better

  • and we're just generally kinder.

  • So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work.

  • Now, that's not to say

  • you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.

  • A line exists between sharing, which builds trust,

  • and oversharing, which destroys it.

  • If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work

  • and give people far more information than they bargained for,

  • you make everyone around you uncomfortable

  • and you also undermine yourself.

  • You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness,

  • so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night --

  • you don't need to go into every lurid detail

  • about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner.

  • So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.

  • On one hand, you have under-emoters,

  • or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings,

  • and on the other end are over-emoters,

  • those who constantly share everything that's going on inside,

  • and neither of these make for a healthy workplace.

  • So what's the balance between these two extremes?

  • It's something called selective vulnerability.

  • Selective vulnerability is opening up

  • while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety,

  • both for you and for your colleagues.

  • Luckily, anyone can learn

  • to be selectively vulnerable, with practice.

  • Here are four ways to get started.

  • First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky.

  • Bad moods are contagious,

  • and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling,

  • chances are your body language or your expressions

  • are a dead giveaway.

  • So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard,

  • your coworkers are going to know you're upset.

  • And if you don't say anything,

  • they might start to think it's about them and get worried.

  • So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event,

  • so traffic for example, just flag it.

  • You don't need to go into detail.

  • You can say something as simple as "I'm having a bad morning.

  • It has nothing to do with you."

  • Now if it's a work-related event

  • that's causing you to feel strong emotions,

  • that brings us to point number two.

  • Try to understand the need behind your emotion,

  • and then address that need.

  • If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating,

  • sit back and reflect on that.

  • And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious,

  • and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.

  • And in that case, you can go back to your team

  • to address that need and say something like,

  • "I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline.

  • Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?"

  • If you're thinking of sharing,

  • try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.

  • So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported

  • and better understand the situation,

  • then go ahead and share it.

  • But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out.

  • And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.

  • If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours,

  • and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious,

  • you can acknowledge that and show some empathy,

  • but then try to give them something actionable

  • that they could hold on to.

  • And in this case,

  • you could suggest that you go to your manager

  • and ask that your weekly meeting

  • be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work.

  • You're showing you're invested in their success,

  • but also that you care about their well-being.

  • When we can be honest about what we feel,

  • and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes

  • and just not have to hide every piece of who we are,

  • we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time.

  • We're also happier and more productive.

  • So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression

  • that you bring to work each day.

  • And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing.

  • And if you're a little bit more reserved,

  • look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues

  • and be a bit vulnerable.

  • And chances are, there will be a big difference

  • in how people respond to you.

  • And selective vulnerability might just become

  • one of your most valuable tools.

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

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仕事で感情を受け入れる方法|TEDシリーズ「The Way We Work」のご紹介 (How to embrace emotions at work | The Way We Work, a TED series)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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