I'm Jessica, and you should subscribe

to this channel because reasons.

(dinging)

So this weekend, I have felt disgusting!

I've been really ill with a migraine

and thus spent long days in bed being gross and sweaty.

And, often when you are hit with the black cloud

of chronic migraine, sitting up is hard enough,

I mean, actually getting out of bed,

and having a bath, and putting on clothes,

is, it's not gonna happen.

So, but when I don't have nice hair and red lipstick

I just don't feel like me.

And, as you can tell from the title,

I decided that the only obvious course of action

is to give myself a makeover.

(chimes)

A vintage Barbie makeover!

(pops)

Not that kind of Barbie.

(pop)

Okay, no, really not that kind of Barbie.

(pop)

Still no. (pop)

Slightly closer?

(pop)

There we are.

Original Barbie first made her debut in 1959,

and thus celebrates her 60th birthday this year.

(cheers)

And she has done some amazing things in those years.

I'm completely skipping over the wow, pink,

the only thing little girls want

is to be pretty, obsession bit.

My mother was never a fan of heavily gendered toys

so I was only allowed Barbies if they were

a present for someone else, and I always make

one of my Barbies a cute tomboy who kissed the girly one,

who wore pink but was also the CEO of the world,

so teach your kids that girls can be anything

and they'll teach their toys the same.

This year is also pretty special,

because Barbie have released a doll

who uses a wheelchair as part of

their Barbie Fashionista line, which considering

many people still believe that disabled people

can't be fashionable, is really quite a big deal.

Mattel did previously release a Becky with a wheelchair

and whilst I really appreciate that being

the school photographer is her main selling point

and not so much the wheelchair, the poor girl

couldn't even fit into the Barbie dream house.

Her chunky chair, ugh.

The new Barbie comes with a ramp and a much cooler chair.

So I'm going to blend the newest Barbie

and the oldest Barbie for today's celebratory makeover

and we're going to start with my nails,

because they're terrible.

(whoosh)

Barbie has a very cute little bouncy ponytail

and curly bangs, and I don't have any type of fringe,

obviously, so we're going to have to fake one.

See you in the morning!

(snaps)

Let's see how my hair turned out.

Please ignore the fact that it is red.

Original Barbies actually only came with blonde

and brunette versions, and then redheads only came

in the early 2000s I think, with the Radiant

Redhead Barbie, but excitingly, redheads now come

in all different body shapes and colors,

which is more than can be said for the emojis.

Why is the redhead emoji just one thing?

Why can't she be a bride, why can't she

be a doctor or a princess or anything she wants to be?

No, being a redhead is all she is.

Oh, oh, oh.

All right, I think we're getting our nice little curls

that I wanted, delightful.

Alrighty, I haven't yet decided whether I'm gonna

brush these out.

So clearly slept in this.

It's fine.

Okay, I am gonna give this a little bit of a brush,

but only in the ponytail itself,

not its individual parts.

I don't really want to break these curls up.

Right, you know what this is missing?

Hairspray.

You know what I don't have in this room?

Hairspray?

You know what I can't spray when I've got my hearing aid in?

Hairspray.

Okay, let's make a fringe.

I really hope this has worked out.

Let's see.

Want to make sure we get this as curly as possible.

Yeah, I think that's a pretty good ringlet right there.

(upbeat rock music)

Yeah.

Ping.

Oh, oh delightful.

So good.

Oh, I could be a Victorian.

Never understood that hairstyle.

What were they thinking?

Anyway, we're gonna create the next bit

using some pins.

First off, just gonna brush the top here.

So that they can move together as one piece

rather looking too much like I rolled them separately.

So what I'm gonna do is on the first curl

I'm going to pin all together

and then separate them out from there, so,

split in two.

(rock music)

Beautiful.

Barbie's makeup has changed a lot over the years,

as have her eyes.

You'll note she's not even looking towards the front.

She didn't do that for two years

until after she was released.

She's got a little coy sideways glance there.

I'm kind of terrified of her blue eyeshadow,

can't lie, don't normally wear any kind of color up here

around the eyes, so that's gonna be new.

But you know what?

I'm going with it.

This is going to happen.

First, let's just pale all this skin out though.

I decided to use this completely new primer tester thing

that I just got given the other day,

because obviously a video is the best time

to decide to use something new.

It's yellow.

To be honest though, I'm pretty much

just playing dress up right now, so even if

it goes terribly wrong, it doesn't really matter

because I've still had my fun.

It's probably looking at makeup all the time,

rather than wanting to get it perfect and looking good,

like we're really just face painting.

Besides, no one else knows what you intended it to look like

so if you wanted to say that that was the effect

that you were going for, this patchy skin, well,

I intended that.

The whole oily forehead?

Yeah, yeah, I wanted that look.

It's dewy.

My eyebrows are two completely different shapes and colors?

Oh, I like that look.

(rock music)

Now for the bit I'm slightly scared of, the eyebrows.

Have you seen this girl's eyebrows?

They are worse than mine,

although she, she's got quite a look working for her,

so maybe my incredibly arched mini brows

will be good for once.

Well there we go, I guess one good thing about

a complete lack of brows is that you can really

make any shape you want.

That's not me advising you to shave off your eyebrows

or do anything like that, truly.

I mean mine just fell out naturally and anyone

who's got big eyebrows, I'm just so jealous.

I'm talking about eyebrows so much

because I'm really trying to put off the blue eyeshadow

but I guess it's happening now.

(rock music)

Well it's certainly blue, I'll tell you that for nothing.

Okay, yeah, hmm, ha-ha, okay.

Let's put put some eyeliner on,

maybe that will do something.

(rock music)

Okay, we have some beautiful blue lids,

but you may notice my face is white,

although be honest, Barbie is the queen of white,

is she not?

So let's add a little powder, some rouge.

(rock music)

All right, now to create some adorable little Barbie lips.

Yeah, I mean she has a big lip, way, way larger

than her bottom lip, so, I'm gonna work with that.

(rock music)

Well, I'm definitely getting some strong I Love Lucy vibes

but I don't hate it.

How do you think we measure up?

Adorable.

She didn't actually smile for a few more years, I'm afraid.

We tend to think of Barbie in terms of makeup and fashion,

but she's actually had about 150 careers at this point.

She's been a surgeon, a firefighter,

a paleontologist, a medic, a ballerina,

a nurse, a rockstar, and a dentist.

She also went to the moon before Neil Armstrong

and returned two more times, plus she has run for president

six times now.

You think she'd take a hint.

How do we feel about this makeup, how do we feel?

I'm not, I'm not sure how I feel,

but I believe in you Barbie, so let's go

put on some clothes.

So, original Barbie is not the most modest of ladies.

I see that coy look, young lady.

I know what you're working.

However, she did go on to have some rather nice outfits,

and I've always been a bit jealous.

Thankfully though, Unique Vintage

make vintage Barbie clothes in human size.

Meet this, the Barbie blue and white shopper.

(sighs)

You know, this dress is so pretty, it actually lulls me

into the idea, it's okay, still warm enough

to go outside with my shoulders uncovered.

(whoosh)

Oh my god, it is not warm enough.

I take it all back!

(old-time music)

So this is obviously the perfect dress for a sunny day,

and a sunny personality.

Okay, this one though, Fashion Luncheon Barbie, ooh.

This is the outfit that I like to wear to meetings.

And if anyone tells you that girls can't wear pink

whilst taking over the world, please remind them

that pink is originally a boy's color,

and the entire idea of gender hierarchy

is a social construct.

(old-time music)

Barbie's creator said that she wanted the dolls

to teach young girls there are no limits

to what they can be when they grow up.

(clears throat)

Okay, she's been a little controversial over the years.

Teen Talk Barbie caused a stir in 1992

when she blurted out lines like "can we ever

"have enough clothes" and "math class is tough."

Oh, honey, no.

Don't panic though, she has now moved into STEM.

She can code and she became a robotic engineer

along with her friends.

She also explores the world for National Geographic

which may possibly be my wife's dream job.

Speaking of which, next outfit, Varsity Barbie.

(old-time music)

Might not have an M for Mattel

but it's still pretty adorable.

You know, when I was a teenager, I wanted more than anything

to be a cheerleader, 'cause I felt really alone

and American teen movies are incredibly persuasive.

And finally, classy 1960s-style red flare swing coat!

(old-time music)

Good boy!

Oh, don't worry, my butler will get it.

And if you like your Barbie outfits

a little less WASP-y, you'll find that this gorgeous

pink fluff from Hell Bunny is just the ticket,

so much so that to celebrate hitting 600,000 subscribers,

I'm going to be giving it away to a lucky commenter.

All you have to do is write "pick me, Barbie"