Why don't we talk a little bit about respect?

I want to be respected.

I want everybody to respect me all the time.

You know, you would imagine that someone off my level of success would be respected by everybody and that everybody should try to be like me.

Everyone should try to be respected.

And everyone should be demanding respect from everybody around them.

That is a sign of success.

That is how you know you are becoming more successful.

And what we should be trying to do is treat everybody with respect and get to the point where if we think highly enough of ourselves, if we're not getting respected, we don't work.

Now.

This became clear to me in a recent incident where I went into the office at 7:30 a.m. One day.

Now the cafe does not open until 8 a.m. So I was going to burn 30 minutes of my time waiting for the food to be served.

And so I thought, Well, okay.

I'm not going away for breakfast.

I'm just going to go grab a simple bay, go put on some cream cheese, and then I'm going to get my day started.

You know, I really wanted to start working.

Earlier that day, I had a lot of things I wanted to do.

And so what happened was I went in, the bagels were all laid out, the cream cheese was out there ready to go, and I began grabbing it and nobody was there.

And then someone showed up and said, Hey, we're not open It was like, very politely.

I said, What can I just get this cream cheese?

And they said, No, it's like, Ok, so then I went on my way and I saw some bacon.

Bacon was all they're all set up, ready to go.

I wasn't going to mess anything up, sir.

I went to try and pick up one or two slices, and then someone said again, We're not open and I couldn't get the big guns like can I just have one or two slices?

And they said No.

Now some people would say that I was disrespectful, one for going in before, hours before a M before the cafe officially opened and the other people like me might say that it was actually the cooking staff that were disrespectful to me because number one they spoke to me in a tone that was uncalled for.

Like I thought they were extremely route.

This is something my family would never do to me if I came.

And I wanted, like a bagel and cream cheese and saw there ready to go.

My parents, my family, my friends, anyone I personally knew who supported me would encourage me to e earlier so I could get my day started so I can support the company and build whatever I need to do.

Start solving bugs earlier, start strategizing earlier, start getting things done and ultimately contributed the success of the company.

Now the problem I have here is when I tell other people this story, they say that I need to show the cook some more respect.

And I think that's a very interesting thing to say, because nobody gets respect from the people that they serve.

Okay, if you think about me as a software engineer, I serve people, too.

I serve the hundreds of millions of users who may be using maps and, you know, I may be getting interrupted at all times of the day.

Every engineer is on car, and every engineer is working essentially 24 7 Any time there's a critical buck or critical issue, they could be called in on weekends in the middle of the night.

You know, when they're really tired and yeah, it's kind of rude to call an engineer in on the weekend to do a little bit of work to handle an emergency situation, but they don't just say, Hey, that's a little bit rude.

Can you ask me nicely?

Can you like I'm off now?

And that's why they're not necessarily asking for respect.

Even if you look at the C e o Cze like, say, Elon Musk, for example, there's a lot of people who respect him, but there's tons of people who disrespect him, and you'll find that that's his job.

His job is to manage that disrespect, to go in and to deal with lots of different people and different opinions, and to build consensus like my job is sometimes to go in and to deal with people who may not necessarily agree with what I have to say.

Maybe they're even a little bit hostile, a little bit rude in the technical discussions and You know, I just need to get everybody on board at the same time on the certain problem, and build that consensus so that we can move forward.

That part is managing the disrespect that could be happening.

And even if you look at doctors, maybe there's a patient who's in pain and screaming at the doctor to give him help given medicine.

The doctor doesn't just say, well, you weren't respectful to me, so I'm not going to help you.

Ask me politely.

The doctor's job is to manage a crisis, manage people who are screaming and shouting all over the place and to help that person.

He doesn't just say, you know, forget it, human like you weren't nice to me.

And if you were to look at, you know, janitors, the same rent, like you might literally people or poop somewhere and as somebody to clean that up for you, right and there's no way this can be respectful.

And yet it is the janitor's job he has paid to serve you.

He has paid to take care of this for you.

Now there's no need to necessarily be rude or mean to anybody.

I don't think anybody is being that way necessarily in a relationship where you have a customer who is asking something from you and you need to serve that customer, the customer may sometimes be in a hurry.

Maybe in some emergency thing may have certain needs may just simply not being the good mood on that certain day.

Your job generally should be to support that person.

Let me put it this way.

Everybody is playing support, okay?

Everyone is supporting somebody my job, maybe to support all the users of a nap.

The cooking job is also playing support there, supporting a different group of people instead of supporting the customers.

They're supporting the employees of a business, and their job should be to ensure that the employees are fed such that they can do their work.

And eventually we all contribute to a company's success, right?

Like if you have a soldier, the soldier does the fighting, which wins the battle and wins the war.

But the soldier also needs a bunch of support.

The soldier needs to be fed.

The soldier needs medics.

The soldier needs communications operations.

After is a cook, then the cooks primary job is to make sure that every soldier is fed and ready to go battle.

And so in this situation, I imagine myself as like a soldier, and I'm here to do my best work, to try to support the company, and then we have a cook.

The cook's mission should be to support me, to make sure that I'm fed, ready to go, ready to go out and do my best work.

What's the point in saying, Well, the food's there is all ready to go.

We're just not going to let people start eating it simply because we're going to make a rule that, um, you know, we just don't open until 30 minutes later.

So, yeah, we can feed an extra person.

We can help.

This person gets started earlier.

We could help be more productive.

We can get the company to be a little bit more successful, but just that much.

But we're just not gonna do it because, um, you know, that's the rule.

I don't know.

Everyone has their own problems.

Everyone has their own things to deal with.

But in general, if somebody is only here to do the work, to get paid and to go home that is less respectable than somebody who is therefore a higher goal.

A higher mission, right?

Those people who are here and actually believe in something they make it There go their mission to feed as many people as they can and to make sure that everybody is well fed all of their diet restrictions, allergies, vegetarian restrictions, whatever it is, everything should be taken care of And make sure they're fed and fed as often as they need to be fed.

And everyone this energized, healthy, ready to go if you simply come in and you put in the bare minimum amount of work And you're not really thinking about helping someone more than yourself helping the entire company succeed.

And then you go around asking that people respect you.

Yeah, you know, Fine.

You know.

Yeah, sure.

Maybe you get your respect, right?

You can get it.

People will just say Fine.

We'll respect your time.

But just know that perhaps this was the person who was only respecting themselves.

They only thought about themselves.

You know, if they ever wanted to attain a higher level of respect than what they currently have, then they will up their game and bring themselves up.

If you know your mission and you know you're a go, then you will be able to better understand what you're trying to do.

Why you want respect from certain people and who from who you may not be asking respect for.

The doctor does not ask for respect from the patient's necessarily, especially those who are in high pain, right?

That's understandable.

I'm just here to help do a little bit more work for all of us, right?

I'm here earlier than I need to be, and I'm not here asking for respect for myself, for my time.

I've already given that up.

I'm here to do work, to support the company, and yet there's other people.

Their vision is simply to benefit themselves, and for them they might just say, Well, they're just here to support themselves.

They want respect for themselves.

Tough luck for you.

You just waited that you go burn your time and you know it's just like let's just watch you just burn your time and like, pointless if you ask me.

What this has really devolved into is a fight for respect.

People are just demanding for respect everywhere from everybody, and they don't really understand why.

And especially, I would say, it's easy to side with the lower level people, right?

They're the underdogs right here is like some tech leads, suffer engineer thing guy, and he's disrespecting somebody.

I haven't disrespected anybody, by the way.

I've always been very polite and nice and everything that I do, Um, and yet it's easy to say, Well, let's just respect people.

Let's just give everybody respect.

And if people want to work less, let's respect that.

I think respect is overused word.

You know, I could easily say, Well, yeah, you know, I don't really want to work today, so let's just respect my decision to not work today.

You know, I want an extra 20% bonus, so let's just respect that, like they don't want to allow an engineer to get their food earlier today.

So let's just respect that and, like, respect my opinion, respect what I want, respect everything.

And people are thinking that the more respect they get, the more successful they will become.

All the successful people seem to be respected a lot, you know, it's not really that, you know I think that love successful people.

They get respect, they also get a ton of disrespect and their job is to deal with all of that.

And I think that if you really want respect, then you would be able to respect yourself and you would do something that you believe is respectful.

And if all you're doing is working for hours for pay and you have no higher mission, then that's really the highest amount of respect that you can expect to get.

And so that's fine.

And I can respect that to whatever degree I can.

And I understand that if people just want to waste 30 minutes of my time in the morning and not feed me and have me sit around because I'm too hungry to start working, then find yeah, we can do that, you know, that's that's, you know, that's perfect.

Personally, I would like to just see people have a higher sense of mission on higher sense of goals.

Like what if you weren't paid that day?

What makes you go in?

What brings you joy?

What gives you fulfillment?

What is your purpose?

What are you really trying to do here and I think that can help you do better work.

And in the end, instead of asking everybody to respect you for a little bit of work that you're doing, you will earn that respect.

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