So, amazingly, the 200K thing happened.

I mean...

OK.

It feels like just two months ago I was on 20K.

...It was.

I'm stunned, but...

Hi, hello. Welcome to everyone who is new, everyone who has come in.

I thought, since we have lots of new people,

that I would tell you some things about me and that then you can get to know me better

which feels like a really strange thing to say, because you've been watching a year and a half's worth of

videos in which I tell you personal things

about myself.

But! Here are some facts that you might not know.

Yes! In a completely random order.

Some of them may even be interesting.

My birthday is the 25th of January, 1989,

but I always think of myself as two years younger

because I was so ill for my teenage years that I genuinely don't remember two years of my life.

So I don't think they should count.

I'm allergic to rabbits, cats,

dogs, hairy caterpillars

(REALLY allergic to hairy caterpillars),

bark (I mean sap, mainly), grass (REALLY allergic to wild grass)--

Yeah. I actually once got out of a technology exam

that I had NOT studied for

(don't do that)

by going and rolling in wild grass with bare legs

and my entire legs came up in blisters and sores

and boils, and it was...

Eurgh. There was blood!

It was pus-y. It was not good.

I should probably remind you that I have neurological damage and therefore cannot feel all of my skin,

so it looked WAY worse than it felt.

Anyway, got out of the exam and didn't have to re-take it until the week after

when I had time to actually look stuff up.

My all-time favourite pairing: Buffy and Faith

from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

They are my OTP.

They are perfect together.

I love everything

about them.

I have read possibly every Buffy and Faith fanfiction that there is on the internet.

Actually, no, I think I have--I have read every. ALL of them.

Every single one.

Even the bad ones, I'll read the first paragraph,

"Eh." Skip down a bit to see if it gets better.

And still give it a little go. See how long I can hold out.

But no. OK, no. But that still counts as reading.

My other favourite pairings are Kim and Shego

from Kim Possible;

Bubblegum and Marceline, from Adventure Time.

And yeah, there's a theme.

I also liked--kiiind of liked Blair and Serena

in Gossip Girl for a little bit, but not really, because I can't really understand the attraction

to Serena, so...meh.

But I did really like Bleighton, which is Blake Lively and Leighton Meester

because Leighton Meester is so God damn adorable, OK?

I also,

[clears throat] every time a Fast and Furious movie comes out,

read the Fast and Furious fan fiction

that has Letty and Dom in

for...yeah.

I mean, it only lasts three weeks, and they are my only straight pairing,

but...

every time.

Every time those films come out.

Following on from that, and you could probably see this one coming:

I write fanfiction.

Yeah. I've been doing it since I was thirteen.

[Quietly] God, that's a long time.

I have had three different usernames

and I'm never going to tell you

what any of them are.

But let's just say, if you read Buffy and Faith fanfiction, you have definitely read something I have written,

because I was quite prolific.

And again, I still do it now.

I didn't eat carbs for ten years.

Zero. Zilch. Nothing.

Not even gluten-free replacements.

Yup.

Noth--no, no.

I mean, it's not like I was on some incredible low carb diet,

although obviously I was,

but it wasn't intentional.

I just couldn't deal with that.

My body just thought that carbs were poison.

I am awful at responding to messages.

This is something I really don't like about myself. I find it...quite frustrating.

Because I'll get a lovely message

from my friend.

Get a little text message, look at it and be like, "Oh, yeah, yeah. That's so sweet!"

I think up the entire answer in my head

and then for some reason

I decide it's too much energy to take that from my head, put it in the text and press send.

So, I put it down, go, "Oh, I'll do that later!"

and then of course because it's already been opened,

it never gets looked at again.

I'm so sorry.

OK. I'll try--I will try. I will try harder.

I have a dent in my head.

I'm pretty sure this is because the ceiling fell in on my mother while she was pregnant with me.

I don't know. It's kind of--it's sort of like this. There's a literal...

There's a dent. There's a dent.

And

there's a bumpy bit at the back and for a while, between the ages of maybe ten to twelve,

the bump sort of grew and it was quite painful

and...

hard?

But no one ever did anything about it

because

no one listens to the child who cries wolf.

And anyway, then it stopped growing and shrunk back a bit, and now it's just kind of solid and there.

The great thing about that, though, is that the dent creates a kind of

natural valley for my headbands to sit in

or my bows.

In Chinese astrology, I am a Dragon.

An Earth Dragon, in fact.

And that fits me completely perfectly.

To a T. Seriously, go and look that up.

That's me.

And Claudia is a Rabbit, so we--we go together.

Lumping this in together as one fact:

My personality on the Myers-Briggs scale is ENFJ,

which I think also fits me quite well.

Which is:

ENFJs are very firm believers in people

and I think I am, too. I'm very optimistic

about people, humans, the world.

I think we're all good people.

I am obsessed with growing my hair.

I--I just... I just!

And yet I keep cutting it. Why, Jessica?

Why?

When I was four, the little girls who lived next door to me held me down and cut off my hair,

because it was the same colour as Barbie hair.

And then my mother gave me a hair cut to try and salvage this.

The mushroom hair.

Yeah. It genuinely--it looked like I had a mushroom on my head.

It was quite possibly the worst thing

you could do to a child's hair.

And I didn't let anyone cut my hair for ten years after that

NO.

But then, unfortunately, I got to fourteen and I decided that I was becoming a woman now

and that meant taking off all of my lovely hair!

Who knows why?

Since then, it's kind of gone up and down and

you know, ish.

But it's never really been that long

lovely, luscious hair that I want it to be.

That's what I want. That's all I want.

'Cause when you curl your hair

it just gets shorter.

Basically, I just want Jessica Rabbit hair. I mean, who doesn't? Hair goals.

This might just be feeding the trolls, but

I still get upset when someone says, "You're not deaf."

It's not even an insult, but

it hurts.

I used to want to be an architect

but then I discovered that I hate modern architecture.

I'm really, really interested in houses, though. Kind of obsessed with them.

Almost. I mean...

public buildings are nice and all, but houses,

homes - that's where my interest truly lies.

Ooh, I spend too much time rightmove-ing.

My favourite periods are Georgian and Edwardian houses.

I have never lived in a modern house and I never intend to.

I--I can't deal.

I can't deal with it. There should be a breeze moving through at all times.

Obviously, I do like some classical architecture,

particularly Ancient Greek public buildings.

Not so much the houses, though, so...

My favourite place in the world is the Lake District,

which is in England,

if you did not know.

My grandparents bought a place there when my mother was just six-weeks-old

and then they retired there later on

and we would go for every school holiday, and I loved it.

It was such a magical place; I felt like every time I was there, I was dreaming.

I want to keep going there every year

for the rest of my life.

What could be better

than a peak

and a lake?

And woodland

and forest.

And as you can see from our Lake District travel vlogs

that we made, not even rain stops us.

It's just too beautiful.

To make my little brother happy, for around five years, from maybe the ages of seven to twelve,

I pretended to be a...dolphin, called Zoe,

every time I hit the water on a family holiday.

No speech.

No legs - no, no. I was all Zoe,

all the time.

And thus, I am now fluent in dolphin.

And my brother can swim. That was probably the more important part.

My favourite animal is a peacock!

You probably could've seen that one coming.

I drink every drink through two straws

because, well, I drink an awful lot, and there's no straw big enough to get enough

liquid in it, you know?

Also, if you're drinking through a bottle,

and you put your straws in, you'll notice it gets all fizzy,

but if you have two straws and you drink through just the one straw, but leave the other open to the air,

then it stops the bottle from fizzing over.

Also works on cans.

I am generally always cheerful.

Because I don't see a point in not being.

I'm very, very empathetic and I tend to absorb the emotions

of everyone and everything around me.

If I'm reading a book and the protagonist is having a hard time,

then I start feeling like I'm having a hard time.

[Sadly] Oh!

It's not very productive, because then I find myself crying about problems that aren't even mine.

For this reason,

I like to fill my life with happy media.

Claudia insisted I put this one in

but fine.

My--my unhappy face

is an upside-down smile.

Yeah.

Happy face.

Unhappy face!

Wait, wait, let's see if I can do it.

['Rainy day' sounds]

Yeah. Genuinely. That is my unhappy face.

Claudia says it is very hard to take me seriously when I'm unhappy.

...Yeah.

I am probably one of the worst people to get into a fight with.

If you try and start something

I will just walk away, because

I don't care

for that.

Claudia and I have never had an argument

because why would we? Nothing's more important than our relationship.

If we disagree on something,

which is actually incredibly rare,

but if we do, it kind of goes along the lines of,

"I really like this thing. Oh, you don't like this thing?"

"OK, er, why don't you?"

"Very valid reasons. I see."

"Well, here are my reasons for liking it."

"Yeah, you know what? It seems like you dislike it more than I like it."

"So, we'll just not have it."

It's very simple. but it works.

I love historical fiction.

Absolutely, completely obsessed with it.