Name: 毒性ポジティブ[CC] (Toxic Positivity [CC])
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T10:16:48.000Z
Duration: 11 min 10 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

Hello, I’m Jessica and I have a positivity problem.

I could blame it on having a bit of brain damage. I could blame it on taking medication

様態の副詞

that’s effectively equivalent to six pints of beer a day. I could blame it on early internalisation

of inspirational narratives (I was little in the 90s)

But the thing is… I don’t see my unwavering zeal as something to ‘blame’, I see it

- Because aren’t all hardships just chances for us to learn and grow...?

Ok, ok, I’m sorry! Don’t click off this video!

Look, just because I can see that every cloud has a silver lining and you have to look through

the rain to see the rainbow doesn’t mean I can’t also roll my eyes at the sickening

but entirely genuine positivity that my brain spews out.

Thank you to the members of the Kellgren-Fozard Club for helping me to choose this video topic.

If you would like to have a say in future videos, along with gaining access to a monthly

behind the scenes video, custom badges, emojis AND a members-only area of my Discord board

then click the ‘join’ button below. It’s next to the subscribe button which I can see

from my analytics some of you are missing, even though you’re watching a number of

The other day I was part of a conversation in which Person A told Person B that they

were setting their goals too high and I had to bite my tongue because my brain said:

- “At least failing when you shoot for the moon means you’ll land among the stars”

Where do these corny lines even come from?! How does my brain

I even saw the good in everything as a small child, to an apparently frustrating degree,

as my parents nicknamed me Pollyanna. Which, if you haven’t read it, is a wonderful book

about a little girl with a philosophy of life centred around “The Glad Game”, where

she looks for the good in absolutely everything, even terrible things. Optimism was really

important to me as an ill child who no one believed… I wanted to make my life great

and lovely so I focused on that, just like Pollyanna who, when put in a stuffy attic

room without pictures or carpet by her aunt, rejoices in the beautiful view from the window.

- A buoyant refusal to be downcast can be a useful weapon.

But if that nauseatingly sweet positivity isn’t natural, if it isn’t coming from

within you, if it’s being forced upon you… then it’s what we call ‘toxic positivity’

And sometimes I’m part of that problem. I’m turning it on myself.

‘Toxic positivity’ refers to the concept that staying positive- and ONLY being positive-

is the right way to live your life. It means purely focusing on positive things and refusing

to acknowledge any negative emotions or even things that it’s felt may trigger negative

And when I learnt the phrase ‘toxic positivity’ I was like…

So I’m calling myself out. Yes, I’m making an entire video to hold myself to account

for subjecting myself to my own toxic positivity.

Because positivity is all well and good when it’s just going on inside your own brain:

if you don’t want to deal with the one negative comment in a sea of positive comments about

your new haircut and you’re able to just ignore it then more power to you, we’re

BUT when extreme positivity is being pressed upon you from the outside (even when you’re

doing it to yourself), that’s when it becomes damaging and it’s something that those of

us with disabilities or chronic illnesses have to deal with ALL THE DARN TIME.

Also, I know a lot of you send my videos to friends and family members to help them understand

when they’re not being helpful so there are probably some parents watching, in which

- hi. I’m assuming your child sent you this because you did one of the bad things I’m

about to tell you not to do. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to yell at you about

it or tell you off. We’re just going to talk through it and why telling someone they

have to be unrelentingly positive is not as helpful as you might think. Thanks for clicking

on the video link though. It shows you care.

Positivity is incredibly powerful and it’s seen me through many a struggle, I’ll grant

you: holding onto threads of hope, knowing that there is a light at the end of the illness

tunnel, that ‘this too shall pass’ has pulled me through life-threatening challenges.

Seeing the sky clear to once again reveal the sun reminds me that the world isn’t

really as catastrophic as it can sometimes feel BUT positivity can have a negative impact

too. It isn’t always the best way to help other people and can have a really damaging

effect on others if they’ve come to you for support. It’s almost an unintentional

gaslighting which stops someone from expressing how they really feel.

Saying things like “it’ll get better”, “you just need to keep fighting” and “once

you’re well again…” may be meant as a kindness but it’s actually awful to hear

from the other side. You’re pushing for a future version of me but not accepting me

as I am right now. I need the space to be able to say “I wish I could do that but

I know I can’t and I’m learning to accept that” without having “Well maybe one day!”

Oddly, even though I’ve been unwell basically my entire life, when I think about my future

I picture my own body as being entirely capable. I’m not sure why that is… maybe I can

blame films and TV for it… a lack of disabled role models growing up or something. But when

I picture myself as a mum, I don’t have any physical limitations. Which is unhelpful.

Because as I grow (hopefully) closer and closer to that point I have to come to terms with

“oh, right. I’m not changing. Huh.”

Acceptance is important. I can hope for improvements in treatment, but I can’t really hope for

being magically better because that hope itself is a damaging thing. Eventually time runs

out and you hit that milestone without being fully better.

Telling someone who can’t get better that they just need to ‘believe’ in order to

make it happen puts the onus of blame onto them. You’re saying that the only reason

they’re still ill is because they don’t ‘believe’ they can get better, or- much

worse- that you’re accusing them of ‘wanting’ to be ill. By only choosing to acknowledge

or laud their happy feelings but not their bad ones, they’ll be left questioning whether

they have a right to those negative feelings at all.

- Spoiler: You cannot cure someone with relentless positivity, you can only make them feel bad.

In my opinion, we’re so used to seeing disabled or unwell people as inspirational characters

in media that when we’re anything other than unnaturally upbeat it seems like we’re

playing the victim when really we’re just having a little moan as anyone else would.

Is just that our ‘little moans’ just seem like ‘big problems’ compared to your flat

tire but we don’t necessarily see them that way, it’s just an issue of perception.

Toxic positivity has a negative impact on those with ‘othered’ bodies because it’s

suggesting that acceptance of being in a place society judges to be ‘not good enough’

is worse than making myself ill in the off chance that I may ‘improve’. Knowing that

your body will not become ‘the norm’ isn’t pessimism, it’s just reality and that can

be even more powerful than blind positivity.

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毒性ポジティブ[CC] (Toxic Positivity [CC])

chronic

mental

appreciate

positive