♪ Come sit my love ♪

- Hello, oh oh. (zipper sliding)

- Dah.

- Oh, much plug.

- I just happened to put it on,

just 'cause it's a nice--

- I enjoy that you bring this to my videos.

- Mm.

- Hello, and welcome.

Today's special Advent message is

share something you love with someone else.

And that means baking, for me.

(Claudia laughs)

- Oh.

- Yes, welcome to another episode of Baking Bad,

where I, Jessica, a girl who loves baking,

puts my dear wife Claudia, a girl who doesn't,

through the trauma of making something.

- It's just so much like prep involved.

- I don't understand how you love cooking,

which also involves a lot of prep and doing.

- But it's like, I don't know but you're,

it's just like, prep like, chopping up a garlic

or like peeling a carrot.

- Some of the stuff you do

is very labor-intensive, anyway.

- Is it?

- That's not the point.

So a lot of people have said

in the last comments of Baking Bad

that we should do something savory

because probably then you'd enjoy it.

- Yes.

- So I decided to split the difference,

and we're making mince pies.

- That's not savory.

- Well (laughs).

- How is that savory in any way?

- So for a lot of people who don't know

what mince pies are,

you're probably thinking mince, like mincemeat.

But no, it's actually a sweet thing,

but it's not like we take mincemeat

and then we just add sugar to it

and then we put it in a pie.

That would be weird.

It probably exists, but it would be weird.

- It's still called mincemeat,

what we are gonna be making.

- Yes, weirdly.

- And why is that?

- It's a lot of weird flying around.

To be honest, though, originally mincemeat did have

bits of fat in, beef fat.

- You mean, mincemeat pies originally--

- No no no, like mince pies, these sweet pies.

They originally had suet in.

- Mm, I can imagine that's quite nice.

I mean and also the pastry

would have been made with lard,

rather than butter. - Yes, yeah yeah yeah.

Anyway, these are completely--

- We're not selling this (laughs).

- These are completely vegetarian,

and obviously, sugar-free, and gluten-free.

Are they gluten-free?

- They are, it's gluten-free, it's sugar-free,

it's low-FODMAP,

- It's meat free - it's all of the good,

meat-free (laughing)

- Despite the name.

- It doesn't taste as bad

as you think it will. - Who doesn't know

what a mince pie is?

- That's very close-minded of you, Claudia.

(laughing)

'Cause we made a video that was like,

weird British things last Christmas,

and people were like, "what, that's insane."

- My God, yeah.

(both laughing)

Sorry (laughing).

- That was a terrible story (laughing).

- It was, do you wanna hear

my awful and traumatizing story?

- Yes, please (Laughing).

- I was watchin' TV the other day.

Well, I just switched on to watch

the six o'clock news.

And, sorry, I can't quit eating these.

(laughing)

And the introduction to The Simpsons came on.

I don't watch The Simpsons,

but it's just like they, you know that bit

where they all like the family runs in,

in title sequence?

But this time, the family didn't run onto the sofa.

(Jessica laughing)

And it was like a love story,

and suddenly it was like this weird little mini cartoon

before The Simpsons,

of just the sofa and the TV,

having like a love relationship.

- Sure.

- And they were just like, mm, mm,

and then they managed to like bounce onto each other

and start roly polying around,

going, oh, oh, like making

all that lovey-dovey noises and giggling.

And then it goes to this point where the sofa

was just going like, like, on top of the TV.

- Just humping the TV (laughing).

- Yeah, and it was like, really,

for a good several seconds

and I was just like, what's happening here?

(laughing)

Like subtle, inanimate object

pornograph, pornophro, what?

And I can't get rid of the image from my mind now,

(laughing) of the sofa and the TV.

- (clearing throat) Warning, to those of you

(laughing) who have monolids, hooded eyes.

Rimmel Glam'Eyes is a lie.

It is not waterproof.

I was in London.

I realized I'd left my eyeliner.

I had to buy the eyeliner which was there,

in this little cottage shop.

It was the only one they had.

It does not stay on my face.

(banging)

- Yours is particularly bad.

- I'm gonna go sort this out.

- Uh.

- So, for the mincemeat minute recipe,

you will need 300 grams of clementines,

nice.

100 grams of dried cranberries.

- Maybe 98 grams now.

- Yeah.

60 grams of walnuts, 59 grams of walnuts.

30 grams of virgin coconut oil.

Still 30 grams.

20 grams of crystallized ginger,

that took me three days to make.

Because, did you know,

you can't buy sugar-free crystallized ginger?

Maybe you can in America. - They look quite cute.

They look like mini stick men.

- And now we're going to kill them.

25 grams of coconut sugar.

Ah, it won't go away now., ooh.

- Always be prepared when we're with Jessica.

- Thank you, and so this is partly

a coconut sugar, and partly the Sukrin

sugar-free replacement for brown sugar.

But I would have used all of that

because I tend to use artificial sugar.

But Clara used it in her baking

and she hasn't replaced it.

- Oh.

- So, that's how the light feels about Clara.

- Yeah, I was like, what is happening? (laughing)

- You're not replacing the sugar.

- The light just went brrmp.

- It's definitely darker now, right?

- It feels a bit like it is.

- It feels darker.

(clicking)

Wah (screaming)

(laughing)

- It's all right, darling. (laughing)

- Sorry, I have a really strong startle reflex

(laughing)

- Okay, okay, we've changed the lighting situation.

Those ones kinda blew up a bit.

- 40 milliliters of water, two cloves,

one Teaspoon of mixed spice. - Spice.

- Oh no, I was gonna put them together to make mixed spice.

1/2 a teaspoon of ground ginger.

Also not here.

(exhaling)

1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon.

That is here.

And one to two tablespoons of gin.

And, do we have gin?

- Yeah.

- Okay good, gin.

Ah, we've also considered using this artisan,

- Yes. - It's not really artisan,

it just says, artista,

sugar free hazelnut syrup.

- It just smells so good.

- It smells like Christmas.

And ready roll, ready made, gluten free pastry.

Because life is too short to make your own pastry.

(banging)

Now let's make it happen.

- Yeah, please.

This baking video's been going on for weeks.

(laughing)

can you please chop these walnuts?

And I am going to zest.

(gentle music)

right so, now we have zested the oranges.

And Claudia has beautifully chopped up.

So now we just need to peel them

and chop up the flesh that's inside.

I know that you may have some difficulty with this,

my love.

- Yeah well, I don't have any nails, so I always normally

have to bite into them.

Then people are always looking at me

like I'm a complete moron, like

why are you biting into a clementine, come on.

- I didn't Claudia to feel socially excluded at work,

by people seeing that she has to bite into a clementine

(laughing)

so now in the mornings I pre peel her fruit for her.

- Aw, I love how that's your reason for it.

(laughing)

But you do realize that I would probably more likely

get teased for having a pre peeled orange,

like clementine in my lunchbox.

People actually, people comment on that more.

(laughing) ah, you peeled it already.

- Claudia, washed the sauce pan.

And then I tried to take the saucepan

from the sink to here.

Apparently that was too great a distance for me.

To meet us, and I was on the floor.

It was largely Walter's fault.

Culprit.

I love you, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to yell at you.

You're perfect just the way you are.

In a medium sized saucepan, over medium heat,

add your chopped walnuts.

Stir and allow them to brown 10 minutes.

(gentle music)

(sizzling)

- [Claudia] I like you're little outfit today.

- Hmm?

- [Claudia] Your little outfit.

- Thank you, thank you.

- [Claudia] Complete with mister blobby socks.

- Ah, excuse me, I think you're trying,

these are my second times warmer socks

that your dad gave me for Christmas.

And they are excellent, and I have three pairs of them.

- [Claudia] Yeah because he gave me and my sister a pair

and I think you knicked all of them.

- (laughing) Yes.

But otherwise this is a jumper from Fat Face it's Claudia's

and then underneath is a shirt dress from British Retro.

(light upbeat music)

Two cloves.

Uh!

Ooh, let's stud oranges at Christmas.

With cloves.

Yeah, does your family do that?

- [Claudia] Yeah we put them on the canai.

- Yay!

Baking appeals to me because I'm one of those people

who likes to things to be like organized

and exact and you know I'd love precise measurements.

But also, I've grown up with a chronic illness,

so my level of caring for stuff is.

And it's not the end of the world if you have to make due

with something else.

All right, turned it off.

(sizzling)