Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • Hello, subscribers.

  • Hello, others.

  • It's David Hoppe and filmmaker proud to share an interview I conducted last week with Louise.

  • Louise is unordinary Woman, just a plain person who has had a pretty hard time in life from the start, got treated terribly, probably like a lot of women who are watching this video.

  • Louise, in spite of it, feels love in her heart, cares about our Children, cares about society and wrote me and said, I'd like to tell my story and I said, Louise, I'd like to help you tell that story.

  • She's doing it first because she has to exercise it from herself.

  • She has to get that story out of hurt security and privacy, too.

  • She hopes it helps other people in the world, and I think it will.

  • And three, she wrote a book and printed in herself of her story.

  • Louise is a a heroic to me and touching woman who just crap happened to her, and I don't like that.

  • So I'm sharing this interview with Louise with the hope that it will help you and that you'll feel something.

  • Maybe some of you wanna buy her book.

  • Thank you, Louise.

  • Thank you.

  • viewers sit back in your own seat in your own mind and just tell me your story.

  • Okay?

  • Well, um, when I was a child, well, I wasn't, um a beautif abusive, dysfunctional family.

  • Okay.

  • And I remember when I was eight years old already, I was thinking about getting a 18 to be able to leave the house.

  • Andi, um, when I left the house, I was, uh, very unsure of myself.

  • And I was scared of the world, and I didn't have a great opinion of myself because of the abuse.

  • Right?

  • Because when you get abused, believe, But when, you know, years go by and then you do leave that.

  • And so when I left at 18 to escape that violence, Um, mind me, I love my parents.

  • Okay?

  • And it's not bad fall.

  • They didn't know better that time.

  • Do you really believe that?

  • I really do.

  • Because they did what they could with what they had.

  • Because my dad, it didn't grow up himself in a good environment.

  • And you know my mom.

  • So they were really poor.

  • They were trying to do their best.

  • Really?

  • Then why would they be abusive?

  • I mean, love and don't go together.

  • I believe it's because they they they didn't love each other to begin with.

  • I don't I don't think they were meant to be together.

  • And, um, they tried to do with what they had.

  • And we have to think that back then, Um, you know, in the in the sixties, it's not the same as today, you know, like, people were more religious and they were not that educated either.

  • Okay, about the world and about There was no TV back then.

  • Remember, my dad and I have a team and they were poor, so leaving themselves in a poor environment themselves.

  • So they were taught that way.

  • They thought, That's the way you raise kids.

  • And that's all.

  • We've been raised because of the ignorance.

  • What did you mean by abuse then?

  • And why did you leave?

  • Well, the abuse, it was physical abuse and mental abuse, emotional calling means, and even I had, you know, a lot of.

  • But, um, and I left because of that goes up.

  • Always being this Carrie situation in the house was always my dad, my mom fighting all the time.

  • And you know, when your Children and you, You hundreds like a sponge, right?

  • So you take him, you take in all of the negativity, so it stays with you and you live in fear, you know, So it builds you though it builds you through it.

  • And, um so But I think that my parents didn't know better.

  • They really didn't.

  • And I can't hold them a grudge for that.

  • But at 18 then I wanted to leave because I couldn't, you know anymore.

  • And the four of us left more where I have to have three under sibling.

  • And then when I laugh, you see, I was scared of everything in the world, right?

  • So when I came into the world by myself with no knowledge of anything in new, knowledgeable man and all that, I got myself into a bad relationship right away, and I I think that being unsure of myself, being scared and and not having a great opinion of myself, I think I think that somewhere I didn't believe that could deserve better.

  • And the other reason is that the fact to be scared and do it on my own in the world, the first man that you know, light and I owe me.

  • I kind of, you know, hold on in here with that guy.

  • And, you know, I think that's what happened.

  • Were you in love with that guy?

  • Did you experience love with him?

  • I think it was an emotional attachment that I thought that was love.

  • Okay.

  • And after a while I was 17 has seven years and 1/2 with him, and I think that that love, they say that you love your abuser.

  • You fall in love with you.

  • And I think that's what happened.

  • Because of the fear.

  • Again, once I was abused, even wars and when I was at home, like he was like, actually abusing media eventually physically and with gardens.

  • And, uh, it was terrifying time for me, and I couldn't leave because of that fear.

  • But when I got my kids, that was the most beautiful thing that happened to me at that time.

  • So, uh, I hung on to run, and but But after a while, when I look at them grow, we were about two years old, almost.

  • And then I thought, Oh, my gosh.

  • And I'm gonna let my kids grow in that kind of environment and So I started to try to find a way to get out of that situation.

  • And I tried a couple from, but, um, you always got me back in the prince.

  • It was scary time.

  • I'm not gonna go into details about things, but it's, uh it's abused that you want to see movies like It's really terrible things.

  • And so I always came back because of fear.

  • So but one day it's funny because I was praying to God, please get me out of here somehow.

  • And when they eat brought someone at home and he said, um, because he wasn't never called it a drug addict.

  • Uh, the father of my Children.

  • And so you brought this guy so that I don't know why you did that.

  • But we left him home for two days, and we spoke about it, spoke to me about God, and I thought, Oh, my gosh, you know, I saw an opening, right?

  • So, um, his name was Mark, Okay?

  • He came back home as as a friend of the family after a while and study a beauty.

  • So on the side of a few months went on and on the side.

  • He said Okay, I can't help you get the better lives to get out of here.

  • And then that night, Okay, That's the Jets.

  • They did help me, and we run away to another seating.

  • It was about bye bye.

  • Was drive away from there and then there, Mark, you introduced me to his family and you were really welcoming.

  • And and I thought, Oh, my gosh.

  • Finally, I'm gonna have a good life.

  • Why did you break the tradition of your family and why we're parents unable to break the tradition.

  • What did you do that they didn't do?

  • Well, I'm gonna say something really sad here.

  • Maybe, but I hope it's not true.

  • Okay, But for me, I fell in love with my kids, and I think that's what it waas.

  • And I think that my parents were just surviving right, and I don't think they really love us.

  • I don't see the dog because I'm not in their heart.

  • But I have a doubt about it, because when you love someone, how can you treat them that way?

  • So for me, when I had my Children, it's the most beautiful thing.

  • I never happened to meet my Children.

  • and the love I have for them.

  • There's nothing to compare here.

  • Uh, so that's why I didn't want them to go through what I've been through.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • So you don't hate him?

  • No, I don't.

  • You know, hatred.

  • I could have a reason to hate.

  • Okay, for sure.

  • And people would say, Yeah, you know, and they would justify me for that.

  • But the thing is that I'm the only one who's carrying my own heart, okay?

  • And I don't want hate my I want love in my heart.

  • So that's the reason why I refused to hate.

  • And the best way to to heal from the hurt snubbed by hating people is by forgiving.

  • And when you forgive, you give you this gift to yourself, you know, because it's the first step to human help.

  • When you went through this and up until the time you met the priest and that time we were practicing were that you a practicing Catholic person?

  • Did you practice the religion, the faith?

  • And is that what brought you to the priest?

  • Okay, um, we're going to church as Children, right?

  • Like my mom, you know, they taught us about the religion.

  • We went to church on Sundays and stuff, but I never had a really, uh, understanding of it, really, as a child.

  • But when I was in my twenties on my relationship with God really got closer because of my sufferings with the father of the kids.

  • Right.

  • But I didn't go in church that for years on, when I met Mark, that helped me.

  • He was really religious.

  • And, uh, he brought me to church.

  • And when I started to go to church, then on Dhe, then when market was sick, okay with HIV.

  • And when he did develop to AIDS, we had moved to the big city where I met that priest in the church.

  • Okay.

  • And that's how I fell in love with him in the first time I saw him this way.

  • I can't explain it.

  • Okay.

  • But I felt a strong connection when I saw him, and there was a wave of love that just came into my heart, and I just couldn't I understand it.

  • And I felt really bad because that happened in the church.

  • And Mark was sitting right beside you, fell in love with him, but did he fall in love with you?

  • Or did you provoked that feeling in him?

  • What?

  • I had to go both ways at that very moment.

  • I don't know what happened to him, but I know what happens to you.

  • And of course, I was very curious about that.

  • And, um, I tried to know more about hippie did half missing feeling, Of course.

  • Be honest with you.

  • I couldn't sit there and have that huge love in my heart and just don't know what to do with it without knowing, you know, if it's real and those on both ways.

  • So of course I went.

  • So the confessional books in I tried to, you know, try to see him from closer and see if that connection was by talking to him.

  • And he was really, really kind.

  • You know, I never did anything.

  • That it Excuse me at that point, like I could say, like, oh tried to on his side, but it was too early at that point.

  • But yes, I did talk to him that I wanted to have that connection to say OK, because we didn't know each other, right?

  • So at that point, yeah, I wanted to know him so I wanted to know his name.

  • You know, you have that feeling of love.

  • You don't even know the name of the person.

  • I was really periods about that.

  • No, you did not see it as a sin.

  • No, no, no.

  • Mae said it's a sin.

  • It's It's when you do something bad.

  • Intentionally.

  • Essentially someone else.

  • Okay, that's a sin.

  • Okay.

  • Uh, but, uh, this religious thinking about, you know, I'm sorry to say, Okay, but that is really over the top With the SIM business here, everything is a sin.

  • Okay.

  • And for me, like I said earlier, I'm not that religious and more spiritual.

  • And for me, God is love.

  • Okay.

  • And yes, When I sinned and I knew bad, I feel it in my heart.

  • And I would ask God for forgiveness.

  • But going out of curiosity to talk to a man because he wears and Roman collar that it's a sin, you know, two Fallen.

  • I don't never understood this story off.

  • Why priests can't get No.

  • I never understood.

  • Well, what happened in that love affair between you, you need to describe it.

  • Otherwise, it's just I don't know, I I got to know what you're talking about.

  • You help me find a place to stay here, help me put the Children in school and was so supportive.

  • And through this episode, then you know, the relationship grew got stronger, and I could feel, you know, and we had was my spiritual advisor.

  • So we had those sessions in his office, and you told me things never told me flat out because I'm in love with you.

  • And you know, I never did.

  • But I think because I believe you couldn't what?

  • He gave me little hymns, you know, like camp.

  • Once he asked me what I was thinking if a priest would go to another country to get married.

  • So you tells me this, and he knows.

  • You know, when two people love truly love each other, you just know there's no doubt about it, okay?

  • And the way we look at each other with gazing each other at church and always finding it a reason to, uh, you know, to talk it would wait for me at the end of the master to give me a little prayer toe or something.

  • You know, a a book to read or, you know, so you know.

  • But you see, at that point, never told me us Like I said, because I think you couldn't.

  • Okay, I couldn't tell him because I was too nervous because I couldn't believe that a man like him would involve being in love with you because I still had that idea of myself that I didn't deserve great things in my life.

  • So I kind of I kind of broke get myself between us because of that here I had.

  • And I think that he had fear also on his side because of the church.

  • So I were our, um, roads, like separated because when you came really, really close to be together, Okay.

  • And, um then they sent him away.

  • Our money, okay?

  • And then and I couldn't not be.

  • They're not seeing him right for a month.

  • There was a lot for me, and, uh, when he came back that something had happened with that you could it would belong to explain.

  • But something happened with my my am.

  • My words I chose in English.

  • Yes.

  • And so he understood something, uh, in the long way.

  • And I really wanted to explain it in the right way, and it's a letter I had sent him, right?

  • And it's a funny one.

  • It was the word made contain because once when we were talking to each other in the in a meeting and, um, he said that, um, you need to be detained, right?

  • Because I was, you know, not trusting.

  • And and, um and I use that word in the envelope that I trust you now.

  • So don't hope don't break that trust.

  • But instead of writing Tame, I switched two letters and I wrote Meet how, unlike the whole letter went another direction, I laughed about it.

  • Today goes, It's open the back then I was so swift out really wanted to bring and on the envelope because in the letter I asked him that we need to meet somewhere, just you and I, you know, away from the church, away from those people, right?

  • And so he on the ladder.

  • When I tried to explain the maintaining, I said, I want my letter back and he brought it back.

  • But you wrote on the need of it.

  • You'll not call waiting to find a place.

  • And that was like, Wow, but I was so caught up onto my mistake of my word that I didn't read that little sentence on him.

  • You just start a big word.

  • Me.

  • Okay, grab the letter.

  • Went home crying and crying.

  • And then after I took the letter again, make sure, like, did I really write that when I read it?

  • Then that's when I noticed that, you know something of him.

  • E got so excited.

  • Says, Oh, he wants to meet.

  • And, you know, I was excited.

  • But when I saw him the next time, some music and that was a shock and I didn't understand because the priests in the meantime, the venue what was going on and when didn't help the situation was one woman in the parish that she was supported Lee to be my friend and helping me out.

  • And, um, I invited her and her husband, and, um, we were sitting in the living room talking and we were gazing again.

  • And when he left, she says, Oh, my God is in love with you.

  • And I didn't say a word, right?

  • So and then she tried.

  • She came back home trying to is Are you in love with him?

  • Are you in love with him.

  • And I had to say, because I can't lie.

  • And I just said, Yeah, I am in love with them Oh, it's okay to be in love with him.

  • But don't go any further than that, though.

  • And then she went and she told the priest is superior what was happening between us, and I think they had a doubt about it.

  • But maybe that didn't really come from this.

  • And she she did a lot of bad things to be that woman like until like, one day she came home and again arresting me with that.

  • And then I said, Look, you're also in love with the priests because she told me her story and you even kissed him.

  • And it's okay, right?

  • But why isn't okay with me?

  • I love him when I want to be with them so angry with me.

  • And she never spoke to me.

  • Then after and then that's when she started to spread the word in the parish.

  • And then I was all the words, just a bell of the Bible.

  • I was all the characters, bad characters.

  • Okay, I was crazy, mentally disturbed.

  • That call all the name And then the people, like, started to change your attitude with me in the parish in and started to get shot, and then people would come to my house and you can't be in love with the priest or I would walk on the street.

  • They say, I wish you'd go to hell and all kinds of stuff.

  • So much pressure.

  • And the priest himself, his superior would come to me.

  • Uh uh, take me in his office and trap me in his office, and I would go home and I would cry.

  • All of that went on and on and on for years until they I got exhausted.

  • And then I decided to move away.

  • Priest not help you during this time you have It was not allowed to talk to me No more like I went to see him, the competition cornered him in the confessional and say, Look, tell me if you don't love me, at least I can want I need to know.

  • And you would just put his head down like this and tighten his jaws from the cold tight there, right and looking down.

  • And he wouldn't say a word to me.

  • Have all about it.

  • And after a while, it just like, you know.

  • Okay, I have to go.

  • So I left, and then again, I was scared to leave with my kids, and I went back home.

  • And so I my best friend, uh, before priest, he must have suffered terribly in himself.

  • Okay, You know what?

  • Like crying?

  • I saw him crying.

  • I get, like, one too much there.

  • But to see him suffer like that, um, I just broke me.

  • Okay.

  • Yes, I was suffering.

  • And I have no support.

  • They didn't offer me any support and all.

  • I had to hold it myself and put a smile on my face when I would go to church.

  • Okay.

  • But one day I went to the confessional and he was crying and I was crying.

  • So I went to see their nanny said, Who is?

  • We just need to break each other.

  • That's the last thing to say.

  • And so I know he prays for me, but I saw him depressed.

  • And you know, when you love someone and you can feel how much they do suffer No.

  • So I just can't see himself.

  • Her.

  • That's them myself.

  • Friend.

  • I can't handle it, but I can't handle him suffering.

  • And I know we did not.

  • I think he must have been depressed, in your opinion, just as a person who experienced what you have here.

  • Is the church wrong in in their view of this, or are you wrong?

  • Absolutely.

  • They are wrong.

  • I'm sorry.

  • Me, Okay?

  • I'm not a priest.

  • I'm not a nun.

  • I'm a I'm a simple woman.

  • And, uh, falling in love with the men before being a priest is a man.

  • Okay.

  • And before I think it's 18.

  • 39.

  • Openness on two.

  • That's when the priests were married in the Catholic Church before.

  • Okay, so what's the problem, then?

  • All of a sudden, you know, that priest cannot be married and why it was not long before, and now it is long I find that critical.

  • I'm sorry.

  • There's so many things that doesn't Adam with that religion.

  • Okay, Uh, I don't think I'm wrong for being truly genuinely in love with this man, okay?

  • And they I believe, in fact, that they want me and they wronged him and they're wrong.

  • All of the other women that are in love with priests and they run all of the other priests and the Children of those trees that have the hide, the wrong them.

  • So I think that the Catholic Church is one.

  • Do you think other people have had the same experience with priests of you?

  • Oh, yeah, of course, because because, like, I was part of the group of cases like because there's so many stories.

  • There's book out there, you know?

  • You can just go on Google and the married woman in love with priests, a bunch of books going to come out.

  • And, um, there's many stories and that support group I was tied up because I needed to get support from somewhere.

  • It's all stories of women being in love with priests.

  • And there's so crushes your heart here some stories and some of them, like even like there is this childlike, even died.

  • There's a priest that committed suicide and so many stories.

  • So sad.

  • So yes, I do believe that they are wrong and we should fix this story off celibacy.

  • It's outdated.

  • Well, I know because you contacted me that you actually wrote a book and you weren't a writer, a professional writer, So show me the book and then tell me, Why did you write that book?

  • That's a very bold thing to do, Louise.

  • Well, for me and thinking like since they they had put that love silence upon the priests and in love with, uh, of course, they did put the same law on me, obviously, because I couldn't speak and everything had to be so for me, I go what's so sick and depressed after a while when I left from there, I was away from him and I couldn't cope emotionally, and I was depressed and I even suicidal.

  • So I went for therapy and the lady was so good there.

  • She helped me out so much.

  • Her name is Natalie, and she said You should write what happened to you?

  • It's a said therapeutical way of getting out what's happened, and I did, and it was so helpful.

  • And I just put my heart in my soul in every detail of what happened to me that I couldn't tell them that that would be a you know, I couldn't scream, though.

  • Well, what's happening?

  • So it was a good way for me to be heard and so bad.

  • Master, I didn't want to publish it, but But she read it and she says, You should publish.

  • My Children said You should publish And so I did.

  • Then that's my book here.

  • Wow, that that is a really achievement, in my view, as a creative person for somebody like you to put out your story.

  • It takes courage, and it's hard to do.

  • Appreciate.

  • That's called Forbidden to Love.

  • And it's pure hearts crushed under the love celibacy.

  • How are your Children?

  • The church didn't only hurt me be that hurt my Children.

  • But he's as much as I tried not to cry in front of them as much as we were so close, that being you, you know that I was suffering and when he would do like, terrible pains to me, like kicking me out of the church or, you know, communicating me in public during a dinner, I would go home crying and the Children were there.

  • Oh, mama, you know what's happening and then you and it is my son.

  • He was 13 years old one day, and you went into the confessional when to see my priest.

  • And then he said to him, Look, he said, If you don't love my mom.

  • Tell her because she can, you know, move on.

  • And if you do love her, tell her he was 13 years old.

  • I thought he was so courageous in any king home.

  • And my kids think they like me.

  • I taught them Never lie.

  • Always tell the truth.

  • And he came home.

  • Says Mom, I did something.

  • Don't get angry.

  • This is what did Ugo.

  • And then you told me you went to the confessional.

  • Found us.

  • Oh, my gosh.

  • Here we go.

  • I'm going to get the bunch of, you know, with fusion from that, And, uh, I admire him for speaking up for his mother.

  • You feel today, like, today and tomorrow.

  • Hope, Faith, good feelings.

  • I'm very glad you did this story with me.

  • I hope that people in the future benefit by you.

  • But of course you're still alive and you're still functioning.

  • You still look healthy, so yeah.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • The thing is that it's just don't hold anything bad negative from your experiences.

  • Learn from it.

  • Or gin for gift.

  • People were involved in it.

  • Let go.

  • Let let go of things.

  • Otherwise it gets you sick emotionally and just you know, if something happens, you know, in your life and you don't know why it happens.

  • You don't need to know why.

  • You just need to know how to cope with it.

  • The peace, Okay.

  • And then for me, pieces, it's a compass that I'm in the right track in my heart.

  • So I do accordingly.

  • As long as the peace stays in, my heart has hard as the situation can be and and you need to give yourself the gift of forgiveness.

  • It that's what I believe that when you go through things like that and believes in yourself.

  • And don't let people judge the define who you are by that judgment.

  • Wow, you are.

  • And you got to believe in you and you've got to appreciate yourself for who you are.

  • You know, people they let themselves like I did for my old life.

  • You know, being that call means and put down and you're nothing and you're not worth anything.

  • And I believe that for my own life and the moment I said no no more.

  • Okay, I know I am.

  • And the people love me close to me.

  • They love me.

  • You know who I am and the appreciating and the other people who don't appreciate me or don't respect me.

  • I just put, like, a healthy boundaries.

  • And, you know, that's what I did with the church.

  • Left the church.

  • And I'm very happy that I did it and yeah, that's it, then.

  • Indeed, it's okay.

  • I forgive them, but I moved on from, but I learned an awful lot.

  • Yeah, you sure did.

  • Hey, you're courageous, woman.

  • Very articulate.

  • I hope that I have captured this little piece of your life in a good way.

  • Thank you.

  • Oh, thank you for letting me sharing.

Hello, subscribers.

字幕と単語

ワンタップで英和辞典検索 単語をクリックすると、意味が表示されます

A2 初級

ルイーズは恋に落ちた...神父と実話だ (Louise Fell In Love... With Her Priest. A True Story.)

  • 0 0
    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
動画の中の単語