And, umsoBut I thinkthatmyparentsdidn't knowbetter.
And I can't holdthem a grudgeforthat.
Butat 18 then I wantedtoleavebecause I couldn't, youknowanymore.
Andthefourofusleftmorewhere I havetohavethreeundersibling.
Andthenwhen I laugh, yousee, I wasscaredofeverythingintheworld, right?
Sowhen I cameintotheworldbymyselfwithnoknowledgeofanythinginnew, knowledgeablemanandallthat, I gotmyselfinto a badrelationshiprightaway, and I I thinkthatbeingunsureofmyself, beingscaredandandnothaving a greatopinionofmyself, I think I thinkthatsomewhere I didn't believethatcoulddeservebetter.
Andtheotherreasonisthatthefacttobescaredanddoitonmyownintheworld, thefirstmanthatyouknow, lightand I oweme.
I kindof, youknow, holdoninherewiththatguy.
And, youknow, I thinkthat's whathappened.
I thinkitwasanemotionalattachmentthat I thoughtthatwaslove.
Andafter a while I was 17 hassevenyearsand 1/2 withhim, and I thinkthatthatlove, theysaythatyouloveyourabuser.
And I thinkthat's whathappened.
Again, once I wasabused, evenwarsandwhen I wasathome, likehewaslike, actuallyabusingmediaeventuallyphysicallyandwithgardens.
And, uh, itwasterrifyingtimeforme, and I couldn't leavebecauseofthatfear.
Butwhen I gotmykids, thatwasthemostbeautifulthingthathappenedtomeatthattime.
So, uh, I hungontorun, andbutButafter a while, when I lookatthemgrow, wewereabouttwoyearsold, almost.
Andthen I thought, Oh, mygosh.
And I'm gonnaletmykidsgrowinthatkindofenvironmentandSo I startedtotrytofind a waytogetoutofthatsituation.
And I tried a couplefrom, but, um, youalwaysgotmebackintheprince.