Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • Hello, subscribers.

  • Hello, others.

  • It's David Hoppe and filmmaker proud to share an interview I conducted last week with Louise.

  • Louise is unordinary Woman, just a plain person who has had a pretty hard time in life from the start, got treated terribly, probably like a lot of women who are watching this video.

  • Louise, in spite of it, feels love in her heart, cares about our Children, cares about society and wrote me and said, I'd like to tell my story and I said, Louise, I'd like to help you tell that story.

  • She's doing it first because she has to exercise it from herself.

  • She has to get that story out of hurt security and privacy, too.

  • She hopes it helps other people in the world, and I think it will.

  • And three, she wrote a book and printed in herself of her story.

  • Louise is a a heroic to me and touching woman who just crap happened to her, and I don't like that.

  • So I'm sharing this interview with Louise with the hope that it will help you and that you'll feel something.

  • Maybe some of you wanna buy her book.

  • Thank you, Louise.

  • Thank you.

  • viewers sit back in your own seat in your own mind and just tell me your story.

  • Okay?

  • Well, um, when I was a child, well, I wasn't, um a beautif abusive, dysfunctional family.

  • Okay.

  • And I remember when I was eight years old already, I was thinking about getting a 18 to be able to leave the house.

  • Andi, um, when I left the house, I was, uh, very unsure of myself.

  • And I was scared of the world, and I didn't have a great opinion of myself because of the abuse.

  • Right?

  • Because when you get abused, believe, But when, you know, years go by and then you do leave that.

  • And so when I left at 18 to escape that violence, Um, mind me, I love my parents.

  • Okay?

  • And it's not bad fall.

  • They didn't know better that time.

  • Do you really believe that?

  • I really do.

  • Because they did what they could with what they had.

  • Because my dad, it didn't grow up himself in a good environment.

  • And you know my mom.

  • So they were really poor.

  • They were trying to do their best.

  • Really?

  • Then why would they be abusive?

  • I mean, love and don't go together.

  • I believe it's because they they they didn't love each other to begin with.

  • I don't I don't think they were meant to be together.

  • And, um, they tried to do with what they had.

  • And we have to think that back then, Um, you know, in the in the sixties, it's not the same as today, you know, like, people were more religious and they were not that educated either.

  • Okay, about the world and about There was no TV back then.

  • Remember, my dad and I have a team and they were poor, so leaving themselves in a poor environment themselves.

  • So they were taught that way.

  • They thought, That's the way you raise kids.

  • And that's all.

  • We've been raised because of the ignorance.

  • What did you mean by abuse then?

  • And why did you leave?

  • Well, the abuse, it was physical abuse and mental abuse, emotional calling means, and even I had, you know, a lot of.

  • But, um, and I left because of that goes up.

  • Always being this Carrie situation in the house was always my dad, my mom fighting all the time.

  • And you know, when your Children and you, You hundreds like a sponge, right?

  • So you take him, you take in all of the negativity, so it stays with you and you live in fear, you know, So it builds you though it builds you through it.

  • And, um so But I think that my parents didn't know better.

  • They really didn't.

  • And I can't hold them a grudge for that.

  • But at 18 then I wanted to leave because I couldn't, you know anymore.

  • And the four of us left more where I have to have three under sibling.

  • And then when I laugh, you see, I was scared of everything in the world, right?

  • So when I came into the world by myself with no knowledge of anything in new, knowledgeable man and all that, I got myself into a bad relationship right away, and I I think that being unsure of myself, being scared and and not having a great opinion of myself, I think I think that somewhere I didn't believe that could deserve better.

  • And the other reason is that the fact to be scared and do it on my own in the world, the first man that you know, light and I owe me.

  • I kind of, you know, hold on in here with that guy.

  • And, you know, I think that's what happened.

  • Were you in love with that guy?

  • Did you experience love with him?

  • I think it was an emotional attachment that I thought that was love.

  • Okay.

  • And after a while I was 17 has seven years and 1/2 with him, and I think that that love, they say that you love your abuser.

  • You fall in love with you.

  • And I think that's what happened.

  • Because of the fear.

  • Again, once I was abused, even wars and when I was at home, like he was like, actually abusing media eventually physically and with gardens.

  • And, uh, it was terrifying time for me, and I couldn't leave because of that fear.

  • But when I got my kids, that was the most beautiful thing that happened to me at that time.

  • So, uh, I hung on to run, and but But after a while, when I look at them grow, we were about two years old, almost.

  • And then I thought, Oh, my gosh.

  • And I'm gonna let my kids grow in that kind of environment and So I started to try to find a way to get out of that situation.

  • And I tried a couple from, but, um, you always got me back in the prince.

  • It was scary time.

  • I'm not gonna go into details about things, but it's, uh it's abused that you want to see movies like It's really terrible things.

  • And so I always came back because of fear.

  • So but one day it's funny because I was praying to God, please get me out of here somehow.

  • And when they eat brought someone at home and he said, um, because he wasn't never called it a drug addict.

  • Uh, the father of my Children.

  • And so you brought this guy so that I don't know why you did that.

  • But we left him home for two days, and we spoke about it, spoke to me about God, and I thought, Oh, my gosh, you know, I saw an opening, right?

  • So, um, his name was Mark, Okay?

  • He came back home as as a friend of the family after a while and study a beauty.

  • So on the side of a few months went on and on the side.

  • He said Okay, I can't help you get the better lives to get out of here.

  • And then that night, Okay, That's the Jets.

  • They did help me, and we run away to another seating.

  • It was about bye bye.

  • Was drive away from there and then there, Mark, you introduced me to his family and you were really welcoming.

  • And and I thought, Oh, my gosh.

  • Finally, I'm gonna have a good life.

  • Why did you break the tradition of your family and why we're parents unable to break the tradition.

  • What did you do that they didn't do?

  • Well, I'm gonna say something really sad here.

  • Maybe, but I hope it's not true.

  • Okay, But for me, I fell in love with my kids, and I think that's what it waas.

  • And I think that my parents were just surviving right, and I don't think they really love us.

  • I don't see the dog because I'm not in their heart.

  • But I have a doubt about it, because when you love someone, how can you treat them that way?

  • So for me, when I had my Children, it's the most beautiful thing.

  • I never happened to meet my Children.

  • and the love I have for them.

  • There's nothing to compare here.

  • Uh, so that's why I didn't want them to go through what I've been through.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • So you don't hate him?

  • No, I don't.

  • You know, hatred.

  • I could have a reason to hate.

  • Okay, for sure.

  • And people would say, Yeah, you know, and they would justify me for that.

  • But the thing is that I'm the only one who's carrying my own heart, okay?

  • And I don't want hate my I want love in my heart.

  • So that's the reason why I refused to hate.

  • And the best way to to heal from the hurt snubbed by hating people is by forgiving.

  • And when you forgive, you give you this gift to yourself, you know, because it's the first step to human help.

  • When you went through this and up until the time you met the priest and that time we were practicing were that you a practicing Catholic person?

  • Did you practice the religion, the faith?

  • And is that what brought you to the priest?

  • Okay, um, we're going to church as Children, right?

  • Like my mom, you know, they taught us about the religion.

  • We went to church on Sundays and stuff, but I never had a really, uh, understanding of it, really, as a child.

  • But when I was in my twenties on my relationship with God really got closer because of my sufferings with the father of the kids.

  • Right.

  • But I didn't go in church that for years on, when I met Mark, that helped me.

  • He was really religious.

  • And, uh, he brought me to church.

  • And when I started to go to church, then on Dhe, then when market was sick, okay with HIV.

  • And when he did develop to AIDS, we had moved to the big city where I met that priest in the church.

  • Okay.

  • And that's how I fell in love with him in the first time I saw him this way.

  • I can't explain it.

  • Okay.

  • But I felt a strong connection when I saw him, and there was a wave of love that just came into my heart, and I just couldn't I understand it.

  • And I felt really bad because that happened in the church.

  • And Mark was sitting right beside you, fell in love with him, but did he fall in love with you?

  • Or did you provoked that feeling in him?

  • What?

  • I had to go both ways at that very moment.

  • I don't know what happened to him, but I know what happens to you.

  • And of course, I was very curious about that.

  • And, um, I tried to know more about hippie did half missing feeling, Of course.

  • Be honest with you.

  • I couldn't sit there and have that huge love in my heart and just don't know what to do with it without knowing, you know, if it's real and those on both ways.

  • So of course I went.

  • So the confessional books in I tried to, you know, try to see him from closer and see if that connection was by talking to him.

  • And he was really, really kind.

  • You know, I never did anything.

  • That it Excuse me at that point, like I could say, like, oh tried to on his side, but it was too early at that point.

  • But yes, I did talk to him that I wanted to have that connection to say OK, because we didn't know each other, right?

  • So at that point, yeah, I wanted to know him so I wanted to know his name.

  • You know, you have that feeling of love.

  • You don't even know the name of the person.

  • I was really periods about that.

  • No, you did not see it as a sin.

  • No, no, no.