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  • you do stand up so much, this isn't going to be that much.

  • Because the times that I go out and it's it's more of Ah, because I'm here.

  • Oh, I love when you do it, but I don't get it.

  • I don't get a second, Thio.

  • I don't see the same people over and over again.

  • You refine that.

  • You see familiar faces.

  • See people that you know in the audience sometimes, like if you go to Boston, it's like, Oh, you're from Boston.

  • You see someone, you know?

  • There's a guy named Zan I see in San Francisco all the time.

  • He's gonna be happy when he doesn't see this.

  • Um, I don't know why.

  • I said doesn't see.

  • Maybe you will see it.

  • Sure, sure.

  • Um, he's got a lot of friends.

  • Yeah.

  • Here's your Here's your edit point.

  • Yeah, sometimes that does help.

  • We're gonna keep that in.

  • So So you look like a dick, Billy.

  • Here's your added port and is ready.

  • And he's right.

  • Pete Holmes.

  • Good.

  • I like that.

  • And he always looks like Matt Damon deep in character, right?

  • With the glasses.

  • That What movie is that?

  • Those air Damon friends.

  • Oh, Uh, yeah.

  • The c I A want.

  • Yeah.

  • I can't remember the name heard.

  • Good Shepherd.

  • That guy wins way.

  • Have nothing to give you.

  • You'll get this plant on.

  • Theo Plant is not a real about now.

  • Um, I sometimes I do shows and I don't know that there's someone of note in the audience was recently in Boston, in Cambridge.

  • There's a a great place called the comedy studio where I started and I was doing stand up and I was watching the show before I went on.

  • I was going on last and there were these two hot women young women in the front that the whole show were whispering like it was The word is worse than heckling.

  • They were going like this night, right?

  • Right.

  • Every comedian, what Black Mirror nightmare to be doing?

  • Stand up.

  • And there's two attractive girls, which is what made every nerd into a comedian right in the front row, whispering and laughing people on stage.

  • But in the bad way.

  • Yeah, so nobody's mentioning it.

  • And then I go on last and I just I tell a joke in there, whispering and laughing and giggling, and I'm just like What's going on?

  • I can see you.

  • They were They were in the front row.

  • They were in the light like the spotlight was on them as well.

  • And I just go, What's going on?

  • I can see you.

  • Please stop.

  • Tell another joke.

  • They keep doing that.

  • I'm like, Please cut it out.

  • Please cut it out.

  • I get a little bit more like Shut up.

  • I'm a friend.

  • Look in my face.

  • I'm here to help.

  • But you know, you push Haiti to farm like please shut the up.

  • At a certain point, I take the curtain and I go, I don't care.

  • Enjoy the show however you want.

  • I just don't want to see you and I cover them with the curtain.

  • Wow.

  • I thought this would get a big laugh, right?

  • Nothing.

  • The whole audience turns on me.

  • I'm like What is going on?

  • After the show, I find out it was Obama's daughter.

  • No, she looked great.

  • Terrible Connie Comedy audience.

  • That's a trio you think who let you put a curtain around President Obama's daughter?

  • That's what I'm saying.

  • I want you.

  • She should have been shot.

  • I've never gotten off stage.

  • And men like, Why wasn't I shopped?

  • Released a little laser beam like you're trying to entertain a cat on.

  • I covered them.

  • I was like, Shut up!

  • Shut up!

  • Shut up!

  • You should vanish.

  • And I covered them with a thing on the Secret Service was like, I like this guy.

you do stand up so much, this isn't going to be that much.

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ピート・ホームズはマリア・オバマが自分のショーに来ているとは知らなかった - CONAN on TBS (Pete Holmes Had No Idea Malia Obama Was At His Show - CONAN on TBS)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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