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  • I'm Nadia, and I'm the CEO and founder of a company called Perk Sea, based out of New York.

  • I'm a four time founder in Forbes, 30 under 30 and I'm so honored today to be here with you to talk about emotional capital.

  • I've always been acutely aware of my emotions.

  • I was raised by a psychiatrist and a teacher who are up here in the front row here, who taught me to believe in the power of emotions and not to suppress them or try to make them go away.

  • I was taught that there's a difference between what you think that you're feeling and what you're actually feeling.

  • My parents taught me to differentiate between anger and frustration, sadness and disappointment, happiness and excitement.

  • Becoming aware of my motions in developing a healthy practice of emotional analysis taught me not only to understand my emotions but the emotions of others.

  • And ever since I was a kid, I've been fascinated by people why they do the things they do, what drives their behavior and why they feel the things that they feel, whether by nature or by nurture.

  • I became obsessed with emotions.

  • I even went so far as to study them in school.

  • I learned about the science of emotion, where they stem from in the brain and all that kind of deeply fund academic stuff.

  • But what interested me most was not the study of the emotions themselves, but more their application in society and more specifically, in business.

  • I was interested in how motions came to life.

  • You know, everyone talks about emotional intelligence.

  • Any good leader will tell you, in business or otherwise, that emotional intelligence is a driving force for success.

  • But if you actually talk about being emotional, or how those show up in professional context, that's what I'm here to talk to you about.

  • Today I'm here to bridge the conversational gap between talking about emotion and actually being emotional, and especially how that relates to human relationships and those of the business world.

  • I'm here to talk about emotional capital, why I think it's the most valuable currency there is and how you can build it for yourself.

  • With three practices through the power of storytelling, the expression of authenticity and the art of emotional awareness, there's been somewhat of a scientific revolution over the past few decades around the study of emotion.

  • It used to be this really broad in basic concept, and our understanding of it was really limited.

  • But heightened study in the area has proven emotion to be something much more complex and compelling than we previously thought.

  • Emotions play a really powerful role in how we think about and experience the world.

  • They impact all of our thoughts, our behavior, how we relate to and interact with others and our overall health and well being.

  • Without emotion, we lose what makes us fundamentally human.

  • What do you think when confronted with something that we think it's seemingly emotionless?

  • We refer to it as inhuman.

  • I think about that latest Netflix serial killer documentary.

  • When exposed to some of these killers were like, Wow, they're so inhuman.

  • It's because we perceive them to be emotionless.

  • We automatically know to connect emotion to the human experience.

  • So why then, is the world emotion in business so diminished?

  • Why is it rejected?

  • Why do we encourage a lack of feeling in so many of the things we do professionally?

  • Countless executives treat emotional suppression as the best way to deal with emotional situations because there's this narrative in the working world that emotions don't have a place in business.

  • We're taught to see business as a science, a conglomeration of numbers and processes built to maximize one singular and output profitability.

  • If we're weak and emotional, were seen as lesser, that's that's how it's seen.

  • If we're emotional, were liability.

  • If we're emotional, we shouldn't be in business.

  • But this narrative is fundamentally flawed.

  • This narrative ignores the emotional inputs that Dr Success in business.

  • Look, I'm not here to bring you some radical new theory.

  • Humans are emotional and business is driven by humans.

  • So it doesn't make sense then that business should be just as emotional as the humans who are at the core of it.

  • Like I said, it's not radical.

  • The best businesses are already inherently emotional.

  • They trade on emotional capital.

  • Think about companies like Apple or Nike, who have become so beloved because they feared out how to build on emotional connection with their customer base.

  • To be successful in business is to be successful in emotion.

  • Why?

  • Because people are emotional and people do business.

  • So as a famous Ted talker once said, if you don't understand people, you don't understand business.

  • So what I want to do today is help you think about how to build emotional capital into your own lives, whether your student, a saleswoman, a teacher or a CEO by shedding some light on how the best leaders build emotional capital.

  • You know, they say the best leaders are emotionally intelligent, but honestly, I think that's just a precursor to what really makes them successful.

  • The best leaders are adept at building emotional capital.

  • They have a talent for building strong bonds and emotional connectivity, and this serves them in team dynamics, business and customer relationships and in influencing others, a key trait of a strong leader.

  • So what is emotional capital?

  • Well, the way I define it, it's the universal currency of the human experience, and it's one of the greatest currencies there is.

  • It's held between any two parties in a relationship, and it dictates how the relationship develops and unfolds.

  • And this could be in any relationship, whether it's your partner, your best friend, your customers or your colleagues, relationships that are lacking in emotional capital.

  • We'll become purely transactional.

  • Just a base level.

  • Exchange of service is little more than two rational actors in an economics textbook, relationships that are completely devoid of emotional capital.

  • They like the synergies and growth that characterize some of our best relationships, and the same can be said in business.

  • When we invest emotional currency into our professional relationships, we breathe life into the ecosystem that is our working world, and ultimately that builds more human businesses.

  • So how is emotional capital built?

  • Well, you can think of it as a bank account that's held between two people where every interaction actively grows or depletes the balance of emotional currency.

  • Good leaders invest in positive interactions that go beyond the purely utilitarian exchanges that were taught to think about within our business relationships.

  • The best leaders build emotional capital because they truly understand the key components of its currencies and the practices of its exchange.

  • And they do this through the stories they tell the authenticity they embody and the emotional awareness that they practice.

  • My first practice storytelling is one of the core communication mediums of emotional capital.

  • Why, because storytelling itself is inherently emotional, let me explain.

  • Storytelling is intrinsic to us as humans.

  • It's one of the most primitive abilities that we have similar town Infant Spider weaves a Web on Taught The Healthy Child is born with the ability to create and tell stories almost immediately after birth with shower, our youth with prophetic tales of freedom and tales of heroism passed down over generations.

  • We do this to instill upon them societal values, morality and the difference between right and wrong.

  • There's someone of a science behind our storytelling, or at least a pseudo philosophy, you might say.

  • Some theorize it serves as a higher, more complex layer of language that juxtaposes emotional context and logic within a single narrative narrative.

  • When I first built Percy, you know I don't have much to work with.

  • I had a brain in my head, feet in my shoes, an inspirational Dr Seuss book and a very big idea.

  • But I also had a reason for doing what I was doing.

  • I knew my wife and I learned to tell that story as far and wide as I could to anyone who would listen.

  • Some of our earliest employees, investors, advisors they didn't come for the financial statements or the technical code, because at that stage there really wasn't any.

  • They came for the story.

  • Storytelling is a way for us to emotionally relate as people we want to find commonality, we wanna be able to connect.

  • And storytelling is a way for us to do that.

  • The more stories that we can share, the more personal they are.

  • The closer we can become, the more connected we can become.

  • And that's one step closer to building emotional capital in relationships.

  • But here's the thing, and this brings me to my next point authenticity.

  • Without it, well, storytelling is just a window dressing.

  • Authenticity is the life blood of storytelling.

  • An emotion is at the very heart of.

  • People are smart.

  • They can tell when a story is counterfeit and that actively undermines the balance of emotional capital.

  • When you're really and vulnerable and just raw with the people around you, the story tells itself this is emotional authenticity, and authenticity is intrinsic to the building of emotional capital.

  • You know, I've built four companies in my lifetime.

  • I started my first when I was 17 and Percy now is my fourth.

  • When I was 19 I was on my second company, had a very different idea of what good leadership looked like despite the fact that I had great parents who taught me the power of emotion and tell me how to express my emotion.

  • I still got caught up in this overarching dogma of the business world.

  • It's the principle that we hear throughout so many TV shows, movies and throughout popular culture, says it's not personal.

  • It's just business.

  • This is what I became began to emulate.

  • I began to see business in this way, the leaders.

  • I was trying to emulate, the text I was reading at the time.

  • They didn't show me emotion, so I didn't embody it and surprise, surprise.

  • It was my least successful company As a person who is so deeply emotional.

  • I was actively fighting the thing that had made me so successful throughout my entire life and all of my relationships.

  • And in doing this, I won't really be able to build true relationships or connectivity with the people around me.

  • Suffice to say, it was the loneliest and most isolating period of my life because I became so disconnected for myself.

  • But through that loneliness, I learned a really valuable lesson about the true meaning of authenticity.

  • People throw it around all the time you always the other word authenticity.

  • It's a huge buzz word, but people just say, Be true to yourself, Be authentic.

  • But what does that even mean?

  • The way I see it, authenticity is just allowing yourself to freely express your emotions without fear of retribution and not authenticity enabled me to build greater emotional capital with the folks that were around me and to my amazing team.

  • Emotional authenticity.

  • It makes for better leadership.

  • When were emotionally authentic.

  • We actually empower other people to do the same, and through this our relationships flourish.

  • My third practice is the art of emotional awareness, and it's one of the most important ones because you can't really understand the impact of your emotions on your behavior.

  • If you don't understand emotions themselves.

  • One of the ways to do this is to really sit with your motions.

  • That is something my dad taught me when I was younger.

  • If you're sad, feel the sadness, but it wash over, you feel the full extent of it, you gotta learn to get comfortable with your motions.

  • One of the things I embodied was learning how to sit down for 10 minutes every day and reflect upon all the emotions I felt that day to understand what's driving them.

  • Why am I feeling things that I'm feeling?

  • This practice has really, really served me as a leader.

  • But to do this you need to learn to show it differently with yourself in an emotional context.

  • Sometimes that means changing the relationship you have with your motions.

  • People are afraid of them.

  • We think it makes us feel like we're out of control.

  • But that's not the case.

  • The only way to build emotional capital with others is to build it with yourself.

  • First, when you become in tune with your emotions, they become like your GPS.

  • They point you towards the things that you really care about T who and what you can turn to.

  • In times of need.

  • Your emotions will become directional.

  • Look, you know, I said it before we're taught that emotion doesn't have a police in business, but I think it's no coincidence that at the time in my life, where was the most authentic and expressed emotions the most.

  • This has been the most successful one in my life.

  • The most successful period expressing emotion doesn't hinder or lessen your achievements.

  • Your achievements are your achievements.

  • If anything, it amplifies them.

  • And nothing great has ever been achieved by just one person.

  • Greatness takes Ah, whole lot of people.

  • Even Serena's got a huge team, and what that means is a whole lot of emotional capital in the relationships around you.

  • So what this all comes down to is really senior motions as a strength and not as a weakness, because when you begin to really understand the power of emotional capital, your emotions become your assets.

  • As I said, startup founder and one of the things you learn as a startup founder is you don't always have access to the financial resources you need.

  • Energy rarely have access to the financial resources you need.

  • And one of the things I've been able to do is build my business through the power of my relationships, because that's one thing everyone can do.

  • You can all invest in the strength of relationships.

  • You can all invest emotional capital, and that's been all the wealth that I've needed to find the success in my life.

  • So what I want to ask you today is how much emotional capital do you really hold think about the relationships in your life.

  • Think about the ones that you have.

  • Think about the ones that you wanna have and think about how you're showing up to them.

  • Are you expressing authenticity?

  • Are you communicating through stories?

  • Are you telling personal stories to enable other people to connect with you?

  • And are you practicing emotional awareness?

  • Look, emotional Capital is the currency of all of these interactions, but it's also important to understand that it is a finite resource.

  • Emotional capital is a finite resource.

  • So think of yourself is really solid investor and make sure that you're investing well and spending wisely.

  • There's this one, um, Jim Carrey quote that I saw on the Internet on this, uh, YouTube channel called The Journey of Purpose.

  • Because I'm not girl.

  • I watched the YouTube channel called The Journey of Purpose, and in this video, Jim Carrey said something, and those 14 words have resonated with me and served as a compass in my life.

  • It's a I can tell you from experience.

  • The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.

  • And that my friends, that is emotional capital.

I'm Nadia, and I'm the CEO and founder of a company called Perk Sea, based out of New York.

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感情の資本。新しい通貨|ナディア・マスリ|TEDxRutgers (Emotional Capital: The New Currency | Nadia Masri | TEDxRutgers)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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