字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント Hello, everyone. Welcome. Welcome to the first. That excuse. It's great here. And it happens that allow this one off. All yours will be speaking here, but 42 year school. And I think the next team, it could be first here. Just let us be less anxious thinking that you've sent old guy talk so bad. So people us? No. Yeah, I know be perfect today, but I think, uh, the message which I want to share with you are very important. And it is much more than okay. I would like to start with something be share. Oh, and the first thing is, who do you weigh? All love our city. I agree. Way. Oh, love our country. Yes. If so, it's just natural to assume that we all love of a planet. Okay, but wait. Is it the same sinking? We all love the same country we own love? Is it the same planet we think we love and passed by the garbage way? See all the streets. Okay. Just like reason environment we leave, we too often make rubbish off our souls. We couldn't lot off percent. And you jealous green and fear into our souls. Oh, it is much like patient nose up who was sent to my office after two years off trying to get cracking after your marriage. And your gynecologist told us that the body is and something is wrong is your and she needs to see. So she came. And during our clinical interview, it soon became quite obvious that the who knows I was raised in an environment where violence against women was a normal from your father from the grandfather and brothers. And, uh, despite as she knows, told me, despite over no harm in being very kind and loving person, she kept emotional distance between you and him. Okay, way. Think about this rubbish in our. So if we think about producing so much rubbish and living in our planet, is there any solution for these? Have you heard that Sweden has run out? It's our garbage and now import garbage from other countries. So Sweden based toe other countries just that garnished with a country in order to produce cheap and clean and for your economy and blood Looking to the Swedish example, it is normal to assume that there's a similar approach could be used for human beings, human soul. It seems to be hopeless and common sense as well done, Haman says, is not so cover. Let me explain. So, with a simple quest, they wouldn't buy My dear professor Shane Frederick. And the question to you, old guys, please have a look. And the question is, I'm back. A baseball bat on the bowl cost $1.10 together. Even the back costs $1 more than the ball. How much does it cost? Oh, first answer A who is for a We just raise your hands because it was the light. Okay, who is a B? Okay, people who is full c? Just one person who is 40 two people. So 25 maybe 40% more for a 40% works for B and around 10% for C and B And let's have a look to the correct answer be goes out, See, goes out on DDE Hey, goes up, It means is that 60% very bright people. So common sense is not so what five cents? Because the back cost $1.5 Afterwards, you calculate it and make sure that I'm not wrong so and, uh, Shane Freddie, who chose these queens? Thousands people, students from universities off. I wanna leave including Harvard, Princeton and M I t. And more than 50% off them said OK, wrong answers. So please don't make it too personal. Even Harvard and Princeton, more than 50% student gave your old house. Is it something? But we need to understand how we are intelligent, but the make such stays. Okay, uh, there is one genius leaving sometimes in the US Sometimes he's a cannibal on give on a noble prize in economy in 2002 or some off his fundamental work on behavioral economy on dhe, he explored this issue and found out. So research that people have two systems off singing the 1st 1 is that and irrational. And the second is slow, meaning fast and irrational. It means that people and all of us in most of the case, it's 10 to give answers. We first we should come to our mind, and it is how we are building. I want prey is a lazy and it tries to, uh, you go easiest and we kissed answer to any problem to any question and in the 50% of the cases even more, it is wrong answer. So, uh, it is Oh, also irrational. And so the second system is a slow, which means and it is the same brain, but it takes time to consider what is happening. What do they mean? What does it mean to me why this is happening? So it takes time and very soft in reaction. And, uh, this, uh Then you, uh, animals. Oh, sinking fast. And still, I recommend everyone to read it if you No. Alright. Already. So, uh, Professor Kellerman say that the opposable answer in terms to mind immediately I was writing It requires hard work. Insistent idea that it is truly just to I am correct. Makes it difficult to check their logic. And most do not take the trouble to see me through the problem. It is off. It is. But all these concepts are quite difficult to explain to my patients. So that's why I use a metaphor to explain this ability Really difficult concept. And my favorite metaphor is about two bowls, maybe, you know, uh, what have you done? Five year old boy comes to his father and asks. I dreamed a grand and I saw a man, these two fools inside him white and black. Is it true that everyone has two balls inside? And these red posit it was a wedding? Wonderful, very experienced. And he took some time to see about and calmly replied, Yes, you there are two, both inside us. Is it? Four is a symbol off you'll and, uh, his food is the Sandman Regret impulsivity, green self beating you and your and Eagle and they're white. Oh, enjoys having love being in peace Home loves empathy, General through compassion and faith and grand listening disease. Answer. Made a second wish. Always he's fine and that you were just opens the one whom you most interestingly in maybe 80% off cases, which I see with my patients. When I asked this question were saying, Well, we in 80% of the cases people say why? Because they won't white way. But it is not true. It is full. We feel, well, we and in most cases in many cases, too much to all. We feed our black for we say that I can't I can't do this. I can forgive him I turned forgetting I can go swim. I can't do it Sounds even part of and all these sorts feed's up is that evil black folk in a bus that irrational off my mind in order to read all these black and to control it, we need to No, we need to understand several fundamental things. And the first is love. Well, doesn't mean. And, according to a whole German psychoanalyst, addict from love is the active concern for care full up for life and that growth off the object we love. If the object off other love us myself, Why I may a garbage can off my heart if I love myself, why I put so many jack food in my stomach. If I allow myself why I want to and my life goes someone but me. Next thing we need to understand these forgiveness and forgiveness is decision for possible decision to free oneself from coast, huh? It is not because someone who burned me asked. Oh apologized for his wrong doing. Oh, he or she deserves apology. It is because I love myself, says Fine. I felt it's also a big stays with skin, but I'm free over. That's why I forgive you. Because I just love myself and I actively change for my life. And I actively care for my truth and way. Forgive someone because we are sang for for that experience may be very painful experience we have gone through because we see now differently about these What happened to us? Maybe tense. Maybe 20 years ago in my child, I Rabelais myself. Bye Look from And that's a point to my experience. Like my patient, you know that she understood that because off the feel and hopefulness she had inherited from my mother, she didn't. I want to leave the same life as her mother did, but investment life. And, uh, she didn't leave that life. She didn't want to few that pain, which he's our brother, but instead off letting letting it go she has chosen a different hey for herself. She started suffering from life result your kids and she probably did her body two get pregnant. And when she understood these things, she shared inside her inside me and said, Dr, I actually that girl's disease just because someone needs to stand up and stop this violence in my family and I think it should be me. It was still inside, and, uh, these hell experience very pay from painful experience process. So second system off scene gave you brave it no gave you love to talk to her father and brothers, bizarre, blaming and eventually get them. Stop beating, said Damon. And being respectful, I do their wives and daughters and no, two days ago, Who knows this? Hand me a picture off help case? No, she has two kids. Is that older daughter, As is a big and, uh, hello younger brother Jennifer. She transformed her family. She became much more clothes of his husband and becoming a muzzle. All these sweetest kids became a natural outcome. Also, his transformation. My message to you, my friends, he's dead. If What's that? Circumstances or some event in your life? I didn't give you some positive message and neighboring message empowering message. Then you probably didn't make the right conclusions yet. And my wish to you, all my friends Toby Green, like Sweden to be happy like we know that.