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  • my next guest eyes A comedian who is taking his show, Fahim Anwar works his hour again to the comedy store in Hollywood on January 28.

  • Please welcome back.

  • So the very funny Fahim Anwar, Thank you so much.

  • I did uber eats today doing very well.

  • If who breeds is convenient, I've noticed.

  • But it's weird.

  • It makes your dinner feel like a drug deal for no reason.

  • I'm just outside my apartment looking for a black Prius.

  • I'm like, What's up, you, Alessandro?

  • No.

  • Keep driving, bro.

  • See the other guy in the corner?

  • I'm like uber eats.

  • He's like No, correct.

  • Someone said Uber East driver will pull up.

  • And there's two people in the car you like.

  • What is this?

  • This isn't the amazing race.

  • Also, if you're the passenger in that car house ad is your life.

  • Look, I've got nothing going on.

  • Can I shadow you?

  • Someone's will pull up in a really, really nice car, and that makes no sense.

  • I'm not really a Tesla.

  • You know, you could just drive a Honda Civic and not have to do this.

  • Well, you shouldn't be handing someone a burrito and then pulling your door down light.

  • Oh, but we're living in the future with all the APS and everything.

  • It's crazy like Imagine if you were talking to someone from the past and they're like, What's the future like?

  • You know, I go, Man, it's crazy.

  • There's like so many scooters.

  • So there's no flying cars, not just like a bunch of scooters.

  • That's pretty dope.

  • Why is it dope?

  • Because you could just, like leave it there.

  • It's hard to explain.

  • I visited my parents recently what I've noticed about Middle Eastern families.

  • They like to keep up appearances like no matter how messed up things might be going in the family, they liketo keep up.

  • You know, appearances.

  • White families are too honest.

  • They'll be like Travis is addicted to meth.

  • We don't know what to do.

  • So solder TV for meth money.

  • Middle Eastern family would never do that.

  • They would spin it.

  • They'd be like Abdullah cleans the house constantly.

  • Where's your TV?

  • Abdul started his own business already.

  • He sell our TV for us Microwave.

  • He is top sales.

  • Abdul.

  • Donate his teeth to charity.

  • I'm dating a little bit, fellas.

  • You're trying to meet up with a girl who's just like out and about.

  • It's impossible.

  • It will be like, Hey, we're at this club.

  • Come and you finally find parking and then you get a tax break.

  • They were at this club, all right.

  • You finally find parking.

  • They were at this club.

  • Now it's not even a date.

  • I'm just dog the bounty hunter.

  • Track down, Stephanie.

  • I'll do the apse.

  • Sometimes I'll match with a girl, and then I'll go back to her profile and it'll say, like, just here for friends.

  • And what do you do with that?

  • Now?

  • I just messaged them.

  • I go.

  • Hey, do you think you could take me to L A X?

  • No, thank you.

  • You weren't sure if you wanted to give it up?

  • But you did.

  • And I appreciate it.

  • You know, I was hanging by a thread.

  • I'm like, I'm gonna get it.

  • Yes, but also, why are you on dating apps for friends?

  • I don't get that.

  • That's like me going on linked in to smash.

  • You thought this was a business meeting?

  • I read my profile.

  • I've noticed a lot of girls profiles.

  • They'll be in front of angel wings.

  • So many girls just are in front of angel wings.

  • It's easy to roll your eyes at it as a guy.

  • But then I thought if there was a wall with Wolverine claws on it, every guy would be in front of it like you're sure about that one.

  • All right, good to know for my next late night when I do the same jokes.

  • Also, you notice women.

  • You're kind of discriminatory on these APS.

  • You'll be like if you're under five foot 10 swipe left.

  • And to me, that just seems a little hypocritical when, like you guys wear makeup every day like leaves that guy's 59 all the time.

  • If it rained is not like, yeah, you were four feet toll.

  • I did it.

  • The good rain.

  • All right, that's it for me.

  • Thanks, guys.

my next guest eyes A comedian who is taking his show, Fahim Anwar works his hour again to the comedy store in Hollywood on January 28.

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ファヒム・アンワル、過去の人物に未来を語る - CONAN on TBS (Fahim Anwar Describes The Future To A Person From The Past - CONAN on TBS)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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