open the Honest Trailer vault...

HONEST TRAILER VAULT: SUPERMAN IV

VOICE From the production company behind

Breakin II: Electric Boogaloo...

VOICE (CONT'D) Comes a Superman movie so bad -

it'll likely kill the entire franchise for 19 years!

VOICE (CONT'D) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

VOICE (CONT'D) Christopher Reeve is back for one

last paycheck as Superman! In one of the corniest movies of the

decade... which is saying a lot... since this

is the 80's.

VOICE (CONT'D) Watch as this mild-mannered dork...

VOICE (CONT'D) Turns into this mild-mannered dork.

VOICE (CONT'D) Recoil in horror at the return of

mentally unstable actress Margot Kidder, as she struggles to play

Lois Lane.

VOICE (CONT'D) Yeesh....

VOICE (CONT'D) And Gene Hackman returning as Lex

Luthor, an evil genius who can't pronounce the word nuclear.

VOICE (CONT'D) The quest for peace begins when

this dumb, overdubbed, kid...

VOICE (CONT'D) ...guilts Superman into collecting

all of the world's nuclear weapons ... that he'll stuff into this big

net ...

and throw into the sun ... Which somehow the U.N. is totally cool

with.

VOICE (CONT'D) Confused? Just wait! We're only

getting started!

VOICE (CONT'D) Watch as Lex and Duckie from

Pretty in Pink

VOICE (CONT'D)

Easily cut Superman's

indestructible hair...

Cut hair from museum.

VOICE (CONT'D) Strap it onto a missile...

Stupid box on the missle

VOICE (CONT'D)

And launch it into the sun - to

inexplicably create NUCLEAR MAN!

VOICE (CONT'D) Behold the super site of two grown

men in spandex, going toe-to-toe in

some of the most poorly-executed

sissy fights ever put to

celluloid...

VOICE (CONT'D) Wow.... This is bad... This is

really bad... What the heck was

that?... What is this, space tag?

...Nails? Really?...Come on, you're

superman! Do something!!... That

looks terrible!... He scratched

him?... Superman lost from a

scratch???... That made no sense!

... UGH... Are we sure we wanna

release this thing?

VOICE (CONT'D) Marvel at Superman's Powers that

you know and love!

VOICE (CONT'D) And stare in wide-eyed disbelief at

these new, completely made-up

Powers... Like:

VOICE (CONT'D) Rebuilding the Great Wall of China

with his eyes!

VOICE (CONT'D) Lowering people with his mind!

VOICE (CONT'D) And helping this woman breathe in

outer space!

VOICE (CONT'D) So if you thought this year's

Predator and Spaceballs looked too

polished... Then we've got the

summer film for you! Filled with:

VOICE (CONT'D) Terrible blue screen!

VOICE (CONT'D) Fake miniatures!

VOICE (CONT'D) Ridiculous Over-sized Props!

VOICE (CONT'D) Really, really terrible blue

screen!

VOICE (CONT'D) And the same flying shots used over

and over and over and over again...

VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously? These are all the same

shot? You couldn't do one more

take? That's lazy you guys.

VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...

VOICE (CONT'D) Captain America

VOICE (CONT'D) Hack Man

VOICE (CONT'D) Desperately Seeking Superman

VOICE (CONT'D) Charlie Sheen

VOICE (CONT'D) Betty Ford

VOICE (CONT'D) And Dolph Lundgren-ish

VOICE (CONT'D) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

VOICE (CONT'D) Man this movie's bad. At least

it's not Marvel, right? Those guys

will never figure out how to make movies.