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  • There's no weird to think that this is gonna be the last video that I upload in the entire decade.

  • The last video that I'm recording this decade is this very one right now.

  • That is a weird thought, because if stuff goes by and as time passes everything way, sit down and we're like, It's the end of a decade like That's such a big thing and in a lot of ways it is.

  • But in other terms, it means fucking nothing just because the decade is ending like it's the you wake up tomorrow and it would be the exact same thing.

  • But there's a lot of psychological stuff that comes with the ending of a year every single year on dhe.

  • The ending of a decade is an even bigger thing because we put these limits and these boundaries and these priorities and these objectives on ourselves, to keep ourselves going to give ourselves purpose, to give ourselves drive and motivation to figure out what we want to do next, what we want to leave behind and what we want to change.

  • But as we leave 2019 as we leave the decades, we hope that what we've done is something of worth something of value, something we can look back upon, fund Lee and do even better the next time around.

  • It's It's a good reset switch and I'm really leaning into that this time because 2019 was was a pretty good year for me.

  • It was very up and down, but I think at the end of it, I have a net positive gain.

  • That being said, there are some things that happened in 2019 that I am extremely proud of and really enjoyed, and I want to go over those.

  • I want to do a look back on 2019 cause I do this every year.

  • Most YouTubers do they do the recap of 2019 but this is also a recap of kind of the decade as well.

  • So it's probably gonna get a little long winded.

  • Grab some snacks, pull up a chair, get your exercise balls.

  • I don't know what you're gonna do.

  • Watch this in the fucking bath for all I care.

  • Just don't drown yourself.

  • I made up a little list for myself because I'm terrible at remembering things and list making and organization is something that I want to get better ride going into 2020.

  • But let's go down through some of the things that happened on the channel.

  • Some of the series we've had on the channel this year are ready to my favorite personal favorite game of 2019.

  • It was phenomenal.

  • I really enjoyed it.

  • It's very hate saying this.

  • It's very video gaming.

  • It has some, like, really Arcady elements to it.

  • That really made it fun to come back and play consistently and constantly, and I had so much fun doing it, and I'm glad you guys enjoyed it as well.

  • We had death stranding, very divisive game that came out this year.

  • I I loved it.

  • I thought it was great, but the series itself.

  • I had a great time playing.

  • It was a nice, just kind of like Shut off your brain for sometimes and just chat and hang out can a game And I'm really glad you guys like that as well.

  • We had Minecraft, of course.

  • Can't believe it took me until 2019 to play Minecraft properly for the first time on a fucking loved it.

  • It was so much fun.

  • It was just a sandbox Here, go create whatever you want.

  • I'm not.

  • I'm not the most creative person in the world.

  • I don't look at like a pile of Legos and go.

  • I could build this.

  • My brain just shuts off when it gets too much stimulus.

  • When it gets too much input, it shuts down on my creative side.

  • Kind of turns off because there's too much going on.

  • And just Minecraft was a great source of creativity for me.

  • I'm so glad that I was able to build a castle and my own little Ireland and come up with phone listen, narratives and names and locations and all that kind of stuff.

  • And I like the syriza lot.

  • We had kindergarten, too.

  • Gangbusters.

  • Well, got to bust out the voice acting.

  • Gotta have fun with that.

  • I really like that.

  • We had meantime, became a really big thing in the channel this year, which I know.

  • Not everyone is into the MIM stuff, and everyone just wants the video games all the time, because that's what I'm known for.

  • But I like branching out.

  • I like doing different things, and meantime, seemed like a good way of doing that because a lot of other people were doing mean Siri's, and I really wanted to interact with the community more on that.

  • It just seemed like a really great crossing crossroads for ah, lot of different things on.

  • It allowed me to just kind of fuck around and improv a couple of jokes in the same with the Funniest Home Videos kind of stuff.

  • I like that because it's a different form of content, and I I like changing it up.

  • I like trying out new things that they're not crazy, unique or anything like that.

  • But it's something that keeps recording fun for me.

  • And if I don't keep it fun for myself, I'm just I'm not gonna enjoy doing it anymore.

  • So that's those kinds of Siri's.

  • They're the things that have kept me going.

  • We had Nostalgia Week capping off the year, which was so fucking fun.

  • I had so much fun going back and seeing all these old games, and it was a really great sort of mental exercises, while Imperative me wanted to recreate what it was in the heyday and do the same kinds of things and the some of that blade through.

  • But I think It was nice going back and playing them as me now as Sean in 2019 Hindsight's 2020.

  • And that's the year we're going in to get ready for a lot of those fucking jokes.

  • Can I wait?

  • Isn't it weird how tomorrow's video?

  • I haven't seen you guys in the whole decade?

  • Uh oh, Chase.

  • The Chase Video came out this year on DDE.

  • It's one of those videos that I'm really, really proud of.

  • If you look at it, you're like, 04 minute video is like This doesn't seem that hard or anything.

  • But there's a lot that went in behind that kind of video, not just a video itself, but the lower and everything that's being built up on the channel for years now.

  • A test.

  • It's been like three years since, like anti stall for ego stuff for any of that kind of stuff happened.

  • If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you're gonna be completely lost what I'm saying, But we've had these characters on the channel that have kind of sprouted up out of nowhere from the community, and I've taken them and fully embrace them and try to turn them into something so much more.

  • And that again has been another really great crossroads for me because I've always really being being in tow.

  • Video games are my number one passion in life.

  • I fucking loved them.

  • I If I'm not recording video games and doing them for my job, I'm just playing them in my spare time.

  • I cannot stop thinking about video games all the time because they're amazing.

  • They're a super great source, off motivation and inspiration and creativity and just turning off your brain and loving getting so much.

  • They've meant so much to me my entire life.

  • Growing up as a kid, they were a great escape from what was a really boring, shitty life on DDE.

  • Just may be able to do more with them these days to not have to go to a 95 regular job and then come home and be like, I don't really have time to play games now to actually be able to fully embrace them into every facet off.

  • My life has been one of the greatest gift that I feel like I've been given in my entire life, and I do not take it for granted at all.

  • But the other passion that I have in life is movies.

  • Now I'm not.

  • I'm not someone who knows how to make a movie.

  • I will hopefully try.

  • I'm not someone who really knows how to write a script, but I will hopefully try.

  • I'm not someone who knows the ins and outs of all the details of how movies are made and stories and all that kind of stuff.

  • But I know what they like and I know what works, and I know it doesn't work, and I'd like to think that have a pretty good sense for narrative pacing, editing story structure, characters, all of that kind of stuff on any time I go to the movies, I have a lot to say about different types of movies, and I come out and I kind of review them with my friends, and we kind of get into conversations about I love doing that.

  • So when it comes to the Chase video, that was a really happy marriage of me being able to tap into this other side of me that I have really enjoyed for very long time, and I've had so many ideas for, and then getting to put them out on camera and collaborate with Tucker on it and really create something that was very, very cool and unique.

  • Uploading that video on Waiting for people's Reactions, I premiered that video, which I've never premiered anything else on the channel except unless You Count like the Lifestream ZZZZ premieres because they're scheduled ahead of time.

  • But this is something that premiered, and I was so nervous.

  • It's the most nervous I have ever been in regards to my work.

  • That sounds silly, but I really, really was, because it was something that was so different than what I normally do.

  • And I just really wanted people to like it, and thankfully, people really did, and we're really into it, and I got so many people like even personal friends said.

  • They watched it.

  • They were like, I need to know more like what's going on?

  • Who is this character on that?

  • And that's exactly what I wanted this to set up and start Onda Chase Video is the start off.

  • I mean, it started a long time ago.

  • It started back in 2016 but this is the first time when I've really tried toe fully put a stamp on the narrative and be like, Okay, here's plot points.

  • This is where the shit is going on next year is something that I'm really I'm gonna sit down, and that's a really big goal of my next year is to craft the eagle verse properly.

  • It's been something that I've been teasing for a long time.

  • I've tapped into it here and there, and I've laid some of the groundwork, and it's there's a lot of stuff going on in it on again.

  • If you haven't been into this stuff, you probably missed the whole shit ton of stuff.

  • So when the Chase video came out, you're like, What the fuck is going on?

  • Who is Chase?

  • Is that a joke?

  • Joe Reference.

  • Next year, I I turned 30.

  • I'm not only are we ending out this decades of the 20 tens era, but going into 2020 is when I start the actual next phase of my life.

  • You have all these different phases, and it comes in 10 year chunks.

  • I'm in a really good place.

  • Mentally.

  • I feel like I'm ready to start this next phase and really start discovering who I really am, what my voice is and just where it's all going.

  • I'm not as insecure as I once was.

  • I'm not as worried as I once was.

  • I'm not as anxious as I once was.

  • So I think this is a really good turning point for me personally to be able to doom or confidently and not really worry about what's going on in the background.

  • And I get to share it all with you as well and bring you all along.

  • And I think that we can craft something really, truly special, fun, fun Fact about that and actually ties into the next thing that I want to talk about is that after the Chase video went up Okay, this is gonna is going to sound like I'm trying to brag or anything.

  • I promise you, it's not.

  • This is just something that's really cool that happened that I I lost my fucking Fanboy mind over.

  • After the Chase video went up, I was so relieved after being so nervous that people wouldn't like it or would like it, or how are they going to react or where is it going to go and then all of you loved it as a okay, thank God.

  • And then that night I got a d.

  • M on Twitter from Ryan Reynolds himself, saying that I was an amazing actor and I fucking lost my mind.

  • He's one of the people that I look up to most in the world and really just enjoy everything that they do in highly respect and really think they're at the top of their game when it comes to just being a genuine person.

  • And to hear that from him meant so fucking much to me on Dhe like brought tears to my eyes and everything.

  • I I don't know how to describe it.

  • It was a really great feeling again, tying into The other stuff that happened this year was that I got to do a lot of the celebrity interviews which have been so much fun to do.

  • It's so outside my comfort zone.

  • It's so completely different than what I do normally.

  • But it's been such a great way off interacting with this movie world that I love so much already.

  • My main goal for these those interviews and some of the entry Other interviews I've done this year is to humanize things.

  • That's why I did.

  • By tour.

  • The story behind the tour is was about humanizing what it is to be a youtuber and interacting with the humanized elements often audience instead of everyone just being one giant number on treating them as statistics.

  • Doing the interviews that, like Aaron, Matt Mercer and Troy Baker was all about having a human conversation, not asking just about work, not asking just about where you grew up on things like that.

  • Those questions come in naturally, but it's about humanizing them.

  • Two people I wanted to get in and ask some different types of questions I didn't want.

  • You sure you have to sit in and you have to ask the general questions about the movie because you're technically there to promote the movie on your channel.

  • Um, that's the light given take of it all.

  • But at the same time, I like asking about them because I remember too specific interviews.

  • One was with Ryan Reynolds again on another one was with Chris Evans on dhe.

  • They talked about anxiety and fears and worries.

  • When you see people like this, you tend to think they have no fear they have no worry.

  • They have no anxiety because they're at the top of their game.

  • Chris Evans is fucking Captain America on Ryan.

  • Reynolds is dead pool and the rock is the rock.

  • I look at them that way, and then some people said the exact same thing to me about getting up on stage and doing a show and doing YouTube in everything.

  • And that was the impetus for the show was because of conversations like that.

  • And I'm like, No, I have no idea what I'm doing.

  • I just yell all the time and have fun and hope that people watch and I am riddled with worries and anxieties and fears all the fucking time.

  • So doing the interviews, then this all sounds very fucking high and mighty and high horse and everything, but I promise that's not the reason for doing them.

  • I I just really like conversation.

  • I like how people tick like how they work.

  • I like hearing just more about them as people.

  • So doing that was a great way of crossing that path to with movies and that kind of conversational aspect that I really like and humanizing them and asking them about their worries and their anxieties and what they do to unwind and get into Northern Maura's people rather than just them as movie stairs.

  • And I know a lot of that can seem like gloating and lording it over your head to be like, Look how great I am, I promise that's not what I'm trying to do.

  • It's hard talk about these things without making it seem like you're bragging.

  • It's just been a really cool thing to be able to do, and I feel very, very fortunate that I do get to do it on Dhe.

  • I just wanted Thio show that gratitude and appreciation for it, and hopefully there's some information in there in some sort of entertainment in them that you guys get something out of it as well.

  • And it's not just all about me getting to meet the school people, but going from that then into the next thing I want to talk about with the Ryan Reynolds stuff is that I get to be in fucking free guy next year.

  • The movie that Ryan Reynolds and Shawn Levy you're doing and jokey reason.

  • The two who were also fucking off that movie's coming out next year, thinking July and a lot of you have seen the trainer by now.

  • But I'm gonna be in the movie in some capacity, which is absolutely mind blowing that again.

  • I love the movie world, and I love seeing how things work in getting involved in and just It's so cool.

  • I love stories.

  • I love worlds.

  • I love like characters again, trying to show off.

  • It's just really fucking cool.

  • I've talked a lot about cool shit that's been going on and cool Siri's and stuff.

  • I've uploaded everything, but the thing that I most proud of this year is all of the charity efforts that we've been doing.

  • I set out last year to do a charity stream every month.

  • I didn't get to do it because I was touring at the same time I went to L.

  • A.

  • For three months.

  • I was going through a lot last year more than I let on online, because again I had to figure that shit out for myself in totality through this year through this year alone, we raised $1.6 million which is no a small amount of money that is a fork ton of money to be able to raise at all.

  • But to be able to raise it for so many different great causes has been the highlight of my entire year since January of last year.

  • So we did what 18 streams then total.

  • We raised $2.8 million.

  • We got very, very close to three million races last year, and that's all through the life streams through the pins through all the merch all year round all of the merch this year, Hef and made a penny off.

  • All of it has gone to all of the different charity events that we've been doing in December alone.

  • Just gun In this month alone, the stream we just did was our craziest dream ever.

  • By hitting $354,000 in seven hours, I think, which is also absolutely bananas.

  • To be able to sit down like all this other stuff is great.

  • All this other stuff that I've talked about is wonderful and everything.

  • But to be able to give something back in the middle of all of this other crazy stuff that's going on has been my proudest accomplishment and the thing that I've been most into all year long and probably in the entire decade, I vividly remember what it was like to start off doing YouTube and Thio.

  • I have nothing.

  • I was living on benefits from the government.

  • I didn't wanna work.

  • I didn't have anything going for me.

  • All I had was like my PC and my games.

  • When stuff really started to take off, I felt so unbelievably fortunate, but also that I didn't deserve any of it.

  • But all of the time doing YouTube, I've always wanted to give back and doom or with what we have here, that I felt like the world had given me so much at a point, and it kept showering me with, like all of this praise and being able to do, you chewed me up to play video games is my job.

  • Everything I was like, Okay, what's the fucking catch?

  • Stop.

  • So I I always wanted to give back, and I think these charity efforts have been a great way of doing that, because again, I've gotten so much from you guys in the world and been very, very fortunate in what I do that I want it Oh, I want to give back in some capacity and try and leave the world a good place and put some sort of, ah, stamp on things and really try and make some efforts towards.

  • I keep saying it in the streams that we may not be able to change the world as a whole.

  • The world as a whole has no idea the amount of charity efforts and money we've raised this year, But that does not mean that you shouldn't try that.

  • We have the small slice of the Internet for ourselves, of the small slice of the world for ourselves here, with this audience listening right now, we can do more with it, and I've always felt that way.

  • And until last year, I really kicked my ass to just get into gear and actually do it.

  • And I've tried to pick some organizations that really aligned with some of my core beliefs.

  • We've done some suicide prevention charities.