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  • you've worked with Shakira.

  • The 1/2 of the amazing Super Bowl halftime shows You're here.

  • Uh, you worked with Shakira?

  • I worked with Secure on Wizards of Waverly Place.

  • And the premise waas that people go.

  • I was Uncle quel Beau.

  • Yeah, I'm the show Wizards of Waverly Place.

  • I was on, like, 1/2 dozen times and one episode it was shown that I was Shakira.

  • Nor is my special powers.

  • I would go live life with Shakira.

  • She was actually in the episode.

  • So you're actually what you're become, Shakira, you are secure.

  • We go back and forth.

  • Yeah, but when we go back and forth, I also wore some Shakira style outfits, which is a big bowl of wrong.

  • But it's the thing, by the way, a doll and you hang out.

  • I'm with her.

  • Okay, So this one cat suit I had to wear with, like, holes on the side.

  • Yeah, it was just wrong on so many levels.

  • And I'm wearing a robe because you got a match.

  • Her Look, she's wearing it, and you gotta wear the same.

  • By the way, She innit?

  • Yeah.

  • Perfection.

  • Yeah, Me in it.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah.

  • Anyhow, so Shakira says, Let me I'm wearing a robe.

  • She was Let me see.

  • Oh, no, Selena Gomez walks up.

  • What you guys talking about?

  • Because he won't let me see.

  • You know what, And I go Okay.

  • Hey, they kept them bothering me.

  • So we went backstage on backstage with Shakira and Selena Gomez, and I did something I've never done before or since.

  • I opened my robe like this, wearing the cat suit.

  • Yeah, and they love anyone.

  • But anyone looking thinks there's a pervert.

  • By the way, anyone is looking for this side is going.

  • What's going on?

  • Yeah, yeah, what is going on in this house?

  • But they were begging me, and then they both burst out laughing, which is appropriate night.

  • But then Shakira, When she hangs out, she dances like she dances like just hanging out.

  • She'll do our things.

  • And if she's if secure, is it an A T M?

  • She's She's gyrating and he's in the mood.

  • If she's in the mood anywhere, she does it.

  • So I was a huge fan of Shakira's, even though I never heard her music True, Aunt, I told Selina and I go, I got a crush on her.

  • I love her, you know.

  • So she starts doing this stuff.

  • Now I'm wearing this little sheer thing, and I'm afraid I'm gonna get a boner because she's doing this bouncy thing.

  • And I keep saying you've got to stop.

  • Please stop your dance.

  • Because what does?

  • Some music came out.

  • She's just doing this all over.

  • And I'm a foot away from Shakira doing that.

  • Oh, my God.

  • So I closed my robe.

  • Inner wait away before you became excited in any way, in one particular way.

  • Way.

  • All know what's going on?

  • We're all about Selena Gomez.

  • What?

  • The time was 18.

  • It wasn't.

  • She wasn't minor.

  • But nonetheless, I have to have that I mentioned earlier.

  • I wasn't sure that this episode what air?

  • This will not air.

  • You know what you're talking about.

  • Yeah, I'm getting an erection.

  • But don't worry, she's 18.

  • But the point is, she knows that I'm like into Shakira.

  • So she's laughing her ass off.

  • 18 year olds know about boners.

  • But I ran.

  • I ran to be appropriate.

  • I think you did the right thing at the right thing.

  • I think a man running with an erection is always.

  • Anytime I get an erection, I just take off running.

  • I lost my virginity to a heckler when I was 20.

  • In a live you lost your virginity and in a standup club To a heckler, Not in a club.

  • She had heckled me earlier in the evening.

  • Later the evening it was at South Beach, she went, she apologized, came up to me like I don't really want to talk to you.

  • And then she kissed me.

  • And I was like, Wow, look at that!

  • And she went running on the beach, ripping off her clothes, yelling Follow me!

  • So I followed her to a lifeguard stand and yeah, that's how I lost my virginity.

  • Wait a minute.

  • That's an amazing story.

  • You your first.

  • The first person you're with Huckle View?

  • Yes.

  • What is that?

  • I'm a true comedian.

  • Yes.

  • Yes, I am that I am a comedian.

  • I knew I wanted to be one as eight years old.

  • I didn't know I'd lose it to a heckler, but very fitting.

  • Yeah.

  • Um I'm one crowd work.

  • Yeah.

  • What?

  • We were having sex.

  • There was no heckling.

  • Yeah, that I will say Yeah, that's that's an incredible story.

  • Yeah, but the point being is when you said what you run right over a boner, So I I kicked.

  • I had told I'm a Jewish boy folded my clothes, She's naked.

  • I take up my clothes and I pulled pulled him on the way.

  • You're that far from that way?

  • I was 20 or so.

  • I kicked my stuff off the lifeguard stand during the festival and I run downstairs naked, run naked with the festival, and I'm there.

  • And there's a guy like about to steal my clothes and I'm naked.

  • I go, you get away, Which is so weird to be yet you're about the thieving A naked guy with a boner is going Hey, man, you know, you don't have to point.

  • By the way, I got my close together.

  • I went back in the look up the standard to go back at it and I folded by close again.

  • Oh, you're at your urine Tidy your tight little Jewish boy.

you've worked with Shakira.

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ジェフ・ガーリン、ヘクラーに処女を奪われた - CONAN on TBS (Jeff Garlin Lost His Virginity To A Heckler - CONAN on TBS)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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