Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • Hello, my friends.

  • You'll remember the lithe chapel.

  • Sometimes in the shows you like to see.

  • Well, they gave me my own show, discuss achievements and celebrate with awards.

  • Other shows don't give whether it's Jimmy's celebrity, the least essential body part.

  • This week, like every other week, I'm joined in the kitchen by my mom.

  • Surely I'll be deciding the winners off these prestigious Lucas Awards.

  • But first, to provide the nominations.

  • Will you please welcome my guests, Jason Way to show you my favorite German comedian.

  • Most popular award ceremonies in Germany?

  • Well, we've just recently awarded ourselves Europe.

  • Theo Germany.

  • Compared to Britain, we don't really have that many awards ceremonies because hardworking itself is seen as a reward.

  • Thank you for coming on the show on to our first award off the night.

  • Now all nations have something to be proud about.

  • Don't leave your French is your cuisine.

  • If you're American, it's your fireman.

  • If you Swiss is Toblerone and Nazi gold, but which countries are so full of themselves?

  • There's barely room to put your suitcase nominations, please, for the Nukus, for smug assed nation off people, this leads the Chinese Andre, the English So the nominations for smugglers Nation of people are the Swedes, the Chinese on the English.

  • So, Jason, why have you come for the Swedes?

  • I find them.

  • I'm just a bit sort of our of our brilliant economy.

  • We're really, really efficient and good luck in.

  • And they're sort of like Germans aboutthe reindeer.

  • Well, out of order.

  • I mean, how could you eat reindeer?

  • What's going on?

  • The market in Christmas, Mom.

  • Christmas.

  • Sorry, we're not going towards this year because Swedes at all the rain is chaos.

  • Mark.

  • Like find off, be a 10.

  • Quit.

  • Let's mark whichever way you look at it.

  • I mean, you're saying, Look, we're so rich.

  • We can afford that, or you'll go always so beautiful.

  • We don't need any beer goggles way.

  • Don't have some things here that Sweden is actually famous for in my box.

  • Let's have a look.

  • Course.

  • Abba.

  • Yeah.

  • You haven't heard of them?

  • They were like a kind of Swedish bucks fizz the on board, of course.

  • Get a bloody air.

  • Got man, You're about to meet the Duchess of Kent.

  • What else we got here, sweetie?

  • Chef, of course.

  • Still easier to understand than Jamie Oliver on Need I even say it?

  • Of course.

  • Like you say no more.

  • You shopping?

  • I don't go by here because I use the Lightman colonies.

  • And now Bye bye, Bond.

  • Hello, Billy Bookcase thinks that being smoke again, they're going.

  • This is how you living room should look, if you weren't such a scruffy bastard and then the room in four hours a day and then try and win you back with a cheap up Doug, have you ever been to that?

  • They can't keep said it would keep saying I cared.

  • We get done, you see, because there's this thing called undue prominence where they don't mind, they love it.

  • But it's all the other companies like the f s going on.

  • Why don't you rubbish us forbidden.

  • I have been toe flat pack self assembly, shop on on, made a purchase on like everybody else gone back to get the key that I Last thing I got from my gear was a bookcase, and it had a little pictorial thing on the instructions.

  • And it was a picture of a man opening the box.

  • Then the man looking like that and then the man on the phone booth.

  • Thank you very much.

  • I'm handing.

  • Tell us why you've opted for the Chinese, For starters, you know, they they're symbol.

  • I'll write themselves like a box.

  • You know, if you were to draw telly and then a stick through it So and that's essentially that translate themselves as Middle Kingdom.

  • Right?

  • So And if you say your descent off us, we're not even a bridge.

  • Still dead.

  • Come on.

  • You've got China right in the middle.

  • So that is pretty smart.

  • But I'm not that bothered about them being smoke.

  • What I don't like about him, You say they're so dangerous, right?

  • They're going to take over one day.

  • They're going to take over because they get up early in the morning.

  • The time difference works in their favor on that one.

  • We're going to take over.

  • Listen, listen, We have to win your come now.

  • People in Britain last in America, that would make me President Theo have the biggest population in the world.

  • Don't know one billion people.

  • And that is why we need to united Europe.

  • We don't need.

  • I mean, there's all Britain is always going already know in Europe we'll get a bloody map off course.

  • We're gonna have a look now at what the Chinese have given the world.

  • Got another box here?

  • Okay, look, Piper.

  • So they can print there.

  • Lying maps invented the noodle, which is a kind of prototype pot noodles.

  • Of course.

  • On.

  • Of course, we will know about Chinese whispers.

  • There we go.

  • Way invented the number 46 with rice Way.

  • Very impressive.

  • Well, we are joined in the studio by someone off the Chinese persuasion.

  • Stewart who?

  • Where?

  • Stuart you are.

  • I spotted you, Henning.

  • These comments wounded your sense of national pride.

  • Not really, but a little bit.

  • Not not accuracy.

  • I think incense off, talking about smart.

  • You have to divide into people and the nation.

  • Me?

  • I'm not smoke.

  • It all been a bit about that.

  • But you know, if you talk about the nation's, then yes, a little bit Smuggle.

  • You think you are you upset with heading which it would you still welcome into China?

  • Absolutely.

  • I would recommend some good restaurant which has a proper German style Chinese food for you.

  • Weigh now, Graham, before you tell us why you've opted for the English.

  • Yeah, as your smug destination.

  • I should just establish that even though I would say you speak with an English accent, you are actually from Scotland.

  • Is that right?

  • I am.

  • Yeah.

  • By nominating the English, I'm kind of playing the Scottish race card.

  • Insolence.

  • Smartness.

  • Feeling pleased with yourself with good reason on the smugness I don't like is feeling pleased with yourself for no good reason.

  • And I think the English a pretty guilty of that.

  • Whereas in Scotland, they got a much better health service.

  • Might do.

  • They need it.

  • They look after the old people much better.

  • They don't have quite so many great legal system.

  • Great education system.

  • And they've got the highland reel and tossing the cable.

  • Where Britain, England has Morris dancing and darts think assignation.

  • It's full of smug people.

  • I mean, you know Jeremy.

  • Kyle, I've actually got a smug ometer here with Mom.

  • Uh, okay.

  • Thank you very much indeed.

  • Yes, this is the thermometer it goes from.

  • Know that smug too?

  • Yeah.

  • Bit smug.

  • So yeah.

  • Smug to proper cocky to that.

  • Really pushing it now.

  • Too unbearable to Clarkson.

  • Ah, selection of things that we think typify England.

  • All right, and perhaps you can tell us where you think the various candidates sits.

  • So this is the 1st 1 The real ale drinkers.

  • They, uh yes, Mark.

  • Yeah, sort of.

  • They are there because they have to drink this stuff.

  • These people are like, Oh, it's not a proper drink unless it's been filtered through a budgets.

  • Foreskin.

  • Got that?

  • What?

  • You mean, okay.

  • The royal family.

  • Well, now they have smugness thrust upon them.

  • Okay?

  • Letting their smug through choice.

  • I put them.

  • Not that smart.

  • This is This is because that woman just give you the baby.

  • I haven't got an OBE middle class.

  • People who go to Provence, I don't know.

  • Many middle class people go to Provence, but I would guess they are pretty smart.

  • I would wake up and say they were proper cop Robert Cutty.

  • You mentioned him earlier.

  • Here he is.

  • Jeremy.

  • Kyle, that was just We should look on National.

  • I don't want to clutter up too much room for very long, because just in case it was unbearable.

  • He's unbearable.

  • Yes.

  • Who would you put on the list?

  • Mom, I think you might quite agree with me on this one.

  • Manchester United.

  • Anyone who drives a Prius and has organic vegetables delivered by today, It's time for me to decide who will win the Lucas for smug.

  • It's nation of People, Graham.

  • I take your point, but I have a concern when you consider how smug the English are already without hardly ever winning anything.

  • Just imagine how smug we be if we actually got this even Jason, Thanks for your argument.

  • Unfortunately, I was unable to understand what you said because of your northern dialect tones of innovation.

  • The Chinese invented printing gunpowder, which were pretty good, but they have set back on their laurels Since then, we've only really had sweet and sour pork to get our interest.

  • For that reason, I think Lucas Force muggers Nation of people has to go to the Chinese Well.

  • Last night was great, wasn't it?

  • Just one person's gone about 30.

  • Lt wasn't about to just take 50 million from 15 time for another award wanting it.

  • I just like the classical stuff, like crying harlequin or airbrushed unicorn.

  • I like modern works, too, like photo of tennis girl scratching us master talents.

  • Have our guests been hiding?

  • Let's find out as we seek to award a Lucas for most artistic guest.

  • If you'd like to, uh, take your places, please.

  • I want to choose a subject that would stimulate everyone's artistic juices.

  • So will you please welcome our life model?

  • OK, if you'd like to pick up your pads, you may begin drawing now.

  • These do joining at home.

  • E never done this before.

  • You have.

  • How much this one get paid to do something like this?

  • Not enough.

  • OK, David, Let's look at how you're getting on, right?

  • Are you trying to say with this piece, I actually have no memory of doing this?

  • I'm quite impressed by the speed of you you're doing.

  • You're quite impulsive.

  • Well, in the end off today, everyone looks the same, isn't it?

  • To ice?

  • One knows one miles.

  • Hey, on the whole house, Graham, you draw a lot.

  • You paint a lot.

  • Is this an unusual subject for you?

  • I have actually drawn a gentleman like this before.

  • Did he know you were drawing in there?

  • Let's have a look at what some of the audience is doing.

  • Very nice.

  • That's pathetic.

  • That's good.

  • But it's like a different person.

  • Don't talk about it.

  • Let's see how we're doing here, Jason.

  • What's that?

  • Well, I'm quite low down.

  • So, um, I realized I was so good.

  • I mean, that's a hell of a stool sample.

  • Okay?

  • What do you think of hers?

  • For the fact that the drawing it's all right.

  • She's made it.

  • I think I saw a slot in the under thought with yes accusation.

  • And I hope you're enjoying this month.

  • You like the older gentleman yourself.

  • Don't you see a bit of fun here?

  • Let's go.

  • Shame.

  • Time's up around her.

  • Pulls from a booth.

  • Well, it's time to decide on the winner for the most artistic guests Now, sadly, Tony Heart is no longer with us.

  • But I'm delighted to welcome the next best thing.

  • Please give it up for more.

  • Good evening and welcome.

  • Thank you very much more for agreeing to judge this award.

  • Yeah, well, I'm not really into art, To be honest, that's more.

  • Tony's department didn't recognize it.

  • If you