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  • Major news from Saturday.

  • It was a very important day

  • for former vice president Joe Biden.

  • And not just because he launched his new line of dentures,

  • -called Joe Bitens. -(laughter)

  • Strong enough to chew right through malarkey.

  • No. This Saturday was the South Carolina primary,

  • where Biden desperately needed a victory,

  • and, boy, did he get it.

  • NEWSMAN: Biden's big win.

  • Joe Biden gets the landslide victory he needed

  • in South Carolina.

  • NEWSWOMAN: Joe Biden trounced Bernie Sanders in that race

  • to give his campaign more momentum

  • going into Super Tuesday.

  • Biden and Sanders are really neck-and-neck

  • in several of these states.

  • Just days ago, the press and the pundits

  • declared my candidacy dead.

  • Now, thanks to the heart of the Democratic Party

  • in South Carolina, I'm very much alive.

  • (cheering)

  • Yes, Joe Biden is very much alive,

  • which isn't something candidates usually need to remind people,

  • -but... -(laughter)

  • but that's still okay-- it's a great campaign slogan.

  • -Take it, man, just take it. -(laughter)

  • -But... but yes... -(applause)

  • thanks to the overwhelming support of black voters,

  • Biden isn't just in the race, he's back to being the favorite.

  • Which is an amazing turnaround, you know?

  • But that's-that's black people for you, man.

  • Black people can make anything popular again.

  • Like, think about it. Before black people,

  • Biden was losing, and then black people came in,

  • and now he's back on top.

  • Before black people, everyone was focused on boobs,

  • and then... and then black people came in, like,

  • "How about butts?"

  • And then everyone was like, "Oh, yeah, butts. Yeah."

  • Now, Joe Biden's win in South Carolina

  • was so commanding that it didn't just put him ahead in the polls,

  • it got three other candidates to drop out of the race.

  • The moderate wing of this party

  • seems to be moving at a pretty quick pace,

  • right, to-to... to all unite around Joe Biden.

  • Amy Klobuchar announcing today she will drop out,

  • along with Pete Buttigieg, and Tom Steyer over the weekend.

  • Both Buttigieg and Klobuchar

  • are now expected to endorse former vice president Joe Biden.

  • Yeah, that's right. First Tom Steyer dropped out,

  • then Pete Buttigieg ended his historic run

  • as the first openly robot candidate.

  • (laughter)

  • And we all know that once a gay guy sets a trend,

  • white women aren't gonna be far behind,

  • so then Klobuchar dropped out, too.

  • -(cheering, applause) -So...

  • so if you're Joe Biden, these past few days

  • are some of the best of your life.

  • Think about it. For Biden, he's made the ultimate comeback,

  • your opponents aren't just dropping out,

  • they're also endorsing you.

  • And to top it all off,

  • Joe Bitens are now the number two dentures on Amazon.

  • Yeah. Right behind the Donald Chomps.

  • (muffled): "Best in the United States."

  • But don't forget, things might be looking up for Biden,

  • but it doesn't mean it's a done deal, right?

  • He still has opponents in this race:

  • Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren,

  • and billionaire in a booster seat, Mike Bloomberg.

  • But the most difficult opponent Joe Biden still has to overcome

  • is himself.

  • Biden in a good position, but his campaign is still plagued

  • by more gaffes.

  • All right, Chuck, thank you very much.

  • Uh, all right. It's Chris, but anyway...

  • I meant Chris. I just did Chris.

  • No, no, I-I just did Chuck.

  • I'll tell you what, man, these are back to back.

  • Look, tomorrow's Super Thurs...

  • Tuesday, and I want to thank you all...

  • We hold these truths to be self-evident.

  • All men and women created by...

  • Oh, you know the... you know the thing.

  • (laughter)

  • Yo.

  • -This is not good. -(laughter)

  • Just in the past 24 hours, Joe has gaffed everything,

  • from the name of a TV anchor he was talking to,

  • to the Declaration of Independence.

  • And the name thing on its own is bad,

  • because interviews are sort of like sex--

  • it doesn't matter how well it goes,

  • if you call the person the wrong name at the end,

  • -the whole thing is ruined. -(laughter)

  • And I don't know why Biden's still bothering.

  • Like, this is why... like, my life hack,

  • my life hack is that I just stay away from people's names.

  • All right? I just call everybody "buddy."

  • Yeah. That way I can never mess up.

  • Just like, "Hey, buddy." "Great seeing you, buddy."

  • Yeah, and then they're like, "Stop calling me buddy!

  • I'm your mother!" And I'm like, "You got it, chief."

  • (laughter, applause)

  • It just helps you out.

  • But that-that's just a name, that's a name.

  • Messing up a famous quote from American history,

  • like, it's a little worse, it's a little worse

  • than some reporter, you know?

  • People notice. That's one small step for man,

  • one medium coffee, no sugar.

  • (laughter)

  • Now, I know what you're thinking.

  • You're probably thinking, "Trevor,

  • "if Joe Biden debates Trump,

  • "it's gonna be a disaster for the Democrats,

  • 'cause Trump is gonna eat him up."

  • But when you think about it, it might not be so bad.

  • Yeah. Because...

  • Trump is the one person

  • who won't know when Joe has messed up.

  • (laughter)

  • -(applause, whistling, cheering) -Yeah. Joe...

  • Joe will be on that debate stage with Trump like,

  • "All men are created, um, uh, you know the thing,"

  • and then Trump will be like, "That's right,

  • -"we all know the thing. -(laughter)

  • "It was a big thing, the biggest thing.

  • "Nobody knows things better than me.

  • Great point, Joe Biden." He'll be like, "Thanks, buddy."

Major news from Saturday.

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バイデン氏がサウスカロライナ州で優勝&バトティージとクロブチャー氏が脱落|ザ・デイリーショー (Biden Wins South Carolina & Buttigieg and Klobuchar Drop Out | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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