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  • Some international news

  • out of the Vatican where Pope Francis had a special visitor.

  • Vice President Mike Pence

  • making a special stop during his overseas trip,

  • getting a chance to meet Pope Francis in Vatican City.

  • MAN 2: The meeting was twice as long

  • as President Trump's visit in 2017.

  • As he was leaving, Pence said, "Thank you, Your Holiness.

  • "You have made me a hero.

  • God bless you."

  • Yes, that's right.

  • The most religious man in the world met the pope.

  • (laughter)

  • And I-I bet... I bet after meeting Mike Pence,

  • the pope walked away like, "Yo, that guy's a Jesus freak.

  • That guy really likes Jesus."

  • Also, I-I don't really get what did Mike Pence mean

  • when he told the pope, "You have made me a hero"?

  • How does meeting the pope make you a hero?

  • Unless he meant the pope literally made him a hero.

  • -Then... -(laughter)

  • Then it makes sense.

  • Here's a question.

  • Here's a question I have, though.

  • Do you think the pope took Pence's confession?

  • Because if he did, that would have

  • to be the most boring confession the pope has ever heard.

  • The pope would be like,

  • "You walked in on your wife taking off her shoes?

  • "I don't care. What?

  • "No, eating salty food is not a sin!

  • What the hell, man?!"

  • All right, moving on to more international news.

  • The coronavirus is spreading faster and faster every day,

  • and now the Chinese government is working overtime to stop it.

  • Breaking news about the deadly coronavirus.

  • Just today, more cases were confirmed here in the U.S.,

  • bringing the total number to at least five.

  • MAN: The virus is now spreading faster.

  • So far, it's killed at least 81 people in China.

  • More than 2,700 others have been infected

  • across 13 countries.

  • MAN 2: Wuhan, the epicenter of the outbreak,

  • and 14 other cities now in lockdown.

  • That's a total of 50 million people

  • ordered to stay in place.

  • MAN 3: Workers in Wuhan with heavy machinery,

  • racing against time to build

  • a brand-new 1,000-bed hospital in just ten days.

  • Yes, China has announced

  • that they're building a thousand-bed hospital

  • in just ten days.

  • Ten days... to build a hospital.

  • There is no other country that can do anything that fast.

  • Like, in America, it takes longer than that

  • -to get cable installed. -(laughter)

  • I've learned, when you order cable in this country,

  • you aren't ordering it for you.

  • You're ordering it for your grandkids.

  • That's what you're doing.

  • It's just like, "I just want Little Billy

  • "to have Comcast one day.

  • Yes, yes, I'll be ready."

  • But I guess this-this is the double-edged sword

  • of China's cultural efficiency.

  • Like, the people in the country are extremely efficient,

  • but so are their diseases, right? 'Cause think about it.

  • This disease is going all over the world at an insane rate.

  • Like, you... There's no...

  • There's no Jamaican diseases that have threatened the world.

  • Yeah, because, like the people,

  • Jamaican diseases are chilled out, you know?

  • It's just like, "Yeah, man, we infected this one person.

  • Should we go on and infect the entire population?"

  • It's like, "No, so much work.

  • "We're just gonna enjoy this man's mouth.

  • "We're not gonna infect anybody else.

  • We just relax. We irie."

  • (laughter)

  • Also... okay, also, am I the only one who's noticed

  • that the virus has gone everywhere except Africa, huh?

  • (laughter)

  • -I mean, look, don't get me wrong. -(clapping)

  • Don't get me wrong.

  • -I don't want the virus, but I'm kind of hurt. -(laughter)

  • Why is Africa always left out, huh?

  • I mean, maybe the coronavirus is just scared

  • because it knows if it shows up in Africa,

  • Ebola will be waiting at the airport like,

  • "Oh, Corona.

  • Look at me, Corona. I'm the virus now, huh?"

  • (laughter)

  • All right, and finally, in some transportation news,

  • this could make driving a little bit more fun.

  • If you ever make it up to Vermont,

  • you may see something different on the road.

  • License plates with emojis.

  • Vermont is the first state in the country considering

  • adding one of six emojis to their license plates.

  • The symbols would not replace any letters or numbers,

  • and some drivers on the road are on board.

  • MAN 2: If you were to have the option to do an emoji

  • on your license plate, what would that emoji be?

  • Um, probably a heart and a rainbow.

  • It would probably be an angry face and a kissy smile.

  • -(laughter) -Yeah.

  • I love this. Angry face and a kissy smile.

  • I like that.

  • Emojis on license plates. This is a great idea.

  • Like, if everyone has emojis on their license plates,

  • it would be so much easier to remember the license plate

  • if there was a hit-and-run, right?

  • 'Cause every time, people are like, "Did you get the plate?"

  • You're like, "No, it was a number and letter."

  • Now, it'd be like, "Yeah, I remember it. I got it.

  • It was three women cha-chaing! I remember that!"

  • (laughter)

  • "They... they cha-cha'd all over my grandpa, man!"

  • (laughter, groaning)

  • At the same time,

  • I do think emojis could also

  • make life tougher for cops, all right?

  • 'Cause they're gonna be out out on the highway like,

  • "Suspect's on the run, eight dead, four wounded.

  • "He's in a late model Chevy,

  • "license plate eggplant, water squirt, water squirt, 69.

  • "Repeat: eggplant, water squirt, water squirt, 69.

  • God help us all."

Some international news

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B1 中級 新型コロナウイルス 新型肺炎 COVID-19

マイク・ペンスはローマ法王フランシス、中国のコロナウイルス危機&ナンバープレート絵文字を満たしています|デイリーショー (Mike Pence Meets Pope Francis, China’s Coronavirus Crisis & License Plate Emojis | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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