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  • When a new story falls through the cracks,

  • Lewis Black catches it

  • for a segment we call Back in Black.

  • -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)

  • It's just a couple of more weeks until Christmas,

  • when Christians celebrate the birth of Santa.

  • Meanwhile, us Jews are celebrating a real miracle:

  • some lamp oil that lasted longer than we thought,

  • because if there's one thing we Jews love,

  • it's a bargain.

  • But for some reason, Christians are now trying

  • to include us in their holiday season,

  • and it's not making any sense.

  • NEWSMAN: Hallmark Christmas movies

  • have been a staple for the channel for years.

  • Now they're debuting two Hallmark Hanukkah movies.

  • NEWSMAN 2: As The Washington Post reports,

  • there's just one problem.

  • Neither movie is a Hanukkah movie.

  • They're Christmas movies with Jewish characters.

  • -Joel. -Brooke.

  • NEWSMAN 2: In Holiday Date, a woman hires a Jewish actor

  • to pose as her boyfriend and join her

  • at her family's house for Christmas,

  • but the family grows suspicious

  • about whether he knows how to celebrate.

  • (chuckles) Oh, you're not sure

  • if Jews know how to celebrate Christmas?

  • You mean, that holiday

  • that gets jammed down our throat every year?

  • The second Halloween ends,

  • I can't even buy a cup of coffee

  • that doesn't look like it fell out of Santa's ass.

  • Trust me, Jews know how Christmas works.

  • It's not like we're gonna walk into your Christmas party

  • and say, "Oh, my God.

  • "It's a tree!

  • "Indoors!

  • Call a lumberjack!"

  • I don't want a holiday movie

  • where a Jewish person learns about Christmas.

  • I want a movie where a Christian has to learn about Hanukkah.

  • On night one, we get socks.

  • On night two, a notebook.

  • On night three, a pen and pencil set.

  • It's a back-to-school holiday.

  • (laughter and applause)

  • But if you thought a fake Hanukkah movie was tone deaf,

  • put this in your stocking and stuff it.

  • Online retail giant Amazon just pulled

  • several controversial Christmas items from its website.

  • The items, including Christmas ornaments,

  • bottle openers and mouse pads,

  • depict the Auschwitz concentration camp.

  • Amazon says all of the products in question have been removed,

  • adding that all sellers must follow

  • our selling guidelines.

  • An Auschwitz Christmas ornament?

  • Look, I know we say to never forget,

  • but when you're decorating your tree,

  • you can take the night off.

  • This is crazy.

  • Christmas has nothing to do with the Holocaust.

  • Santa's list and Schindler's list

  • are very different lists!

  • (laughter and applause)

  • But...

  • But if you have to think of the Jews at Christmas,

  • why not get them a little something

  • to show you care, like this guy?

  • Last week, we told you about a controversial auction

  • of Nazi memorabilia in Germany.

  • And new this morning, a Swiss businessman

  • purchased many of the items,

  • including Adolf Hitler's top hat,

  • he said, in order to keep them out of the hands of neo-Nazis.

  • Abdallah Chatila said he will donate the items

  • to a Jewish group.

  • He said he paid more than $600,000

  • at the Munich auction last week.

  • I appreciate the gesture, but who cares

  • if a neo-Nazi gets their hands on Hitler's top hat.

  • It's not like the hat

  • will magically turn them into a super Nazi.

  • All you get is a skinhead who looks like Mr. Peanut.

  • (laughter)

  • And giving Hitler's hat to a Jewish group

  • isn't gonna do anything.

  • They're just gonna take turns shitting in it.

  • Although, come to think of it,

  • that sounds like a pretty good Hanukkah to me.

  • "We thought Hitler's hat could only hold one turd,

  • but it held eight. What a mitzvah!"

  • (laughter)

  • And by the way, are we sure this is real?

  • We've all seen pictures of Hitler,

  • and he's never wearing a top hat.

  • Personally, I think this was just a scam

  • to get people to buy fake Hitler stuff,

  • and that's the kind of scam I want to get in on.

  • So, hey, neo-Nazis,

  • perhaps I can interest you in Hitler's Ninja.

  • That's right.

  • That wasn't a mustache on Adolf's lip.

  • That was residue from a delicious kale smoothie.

  • Act now, and I'll even throw in Mussolini's fidget spinner.

  • Trevor?

  • Lewis Black, everyone.

When a new story falls through the cracks,

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バックインブラック - ホールマークのハヌカ映画、アウシュビッツのオーナメント&ヒトラーの帽子|デイリーショー (Back in Black - Hallmark’s Hanukkah Movies, Auschwitz Ornaments & Hitler’s Hat | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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