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♪ -Go on, go on, go on, go on git ♪
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[ Laughter ]
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-Aw.
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-Go on, git!
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People who put a milk carton that has just a few drops
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of milk left back into the fridge,
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I want to pour myself some creamy dairy in my coffee,
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but instead all I got was a splash of disappointment.
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You knew that carton was drier
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than a Mojave Desert cactus in July.
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So quit yankin' my chain and go on, git.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Go on, git.
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TV at the gym playing TNT.
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[ Laughter ]
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Who the hell made that decision?
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You got three TVs on sports, three TVs on the news,
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and then one that's only ever showing reruns
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of "Charmed" and the movie "Gladiator."
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[ Laughter ]
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You think that if someone doesn't like news or sports,
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they must wanna watch some random episode
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of season four of "Bones"?
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[ Laughter ]
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Go on, git, TNT playing "Bones."
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Unless, that is, it's the episode with Cyndi Lauper.
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I did love that one.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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♪♪
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-Whoa.
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-Go on, git. -Oh, my God!
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-Aioli.
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[ Laughter ]
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You ain't nothing but some dang mayonnaise
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that downloaded Duolingo. [ Laughter ]
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Git!
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-Oh.
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Oh, no.
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-Go on, git, silent R in February.
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[ Laughter ]
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You serve less purpose than a squirt gun in a water park
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during a thunderstorm.
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So you get that second R out of there.
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And actually, while we're at it, take away the other R too.
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You blew it. So go on, git, February.
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And hello, Febuay.
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[ Laughter and applause ]
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Go on, git, A-Ceet-O, A-Set-Uh.
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[ Laughter ]
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I thought I'd save some money by not buying brand-name Tylenol.
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We all know you're the same thing,
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but now you're giving me a headache
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just trying to pronounce ya.
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So go on git, acetaminophen.
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[ Laughter and applause ]
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♪♪
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-Wow.
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-Go on git, chickpeas.
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[ Laughter ]
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The jig is up.
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You're just garbanzo beans tryin' out a new personality.
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And that personality stinks like deception.
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Legume? More like le-go on git.
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[ Laughter and applause ]
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♪♪
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Go on git, soft shell crabs.
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Shells are supposed to be hard, not soft.
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Go back to the shell factory and try again.
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[ Laughter and applause ]
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Hard to see 'em go, but I'm glad I got it all out of my system.