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  • (Music)

  • (Applause)

  • Thank you.

  • Wow, that was fun.

  • Ok, let's get naked! (Laughter)

  • Ready, set, strip!

  • No, teasing, I'm joking!

  • The kind of naked that I'm referring to

  • is the naked that makes you squirm on the inside.

  • It's naked of the heart.

  • Naked to the soul. Naked to the truth,

  • which is what I want to share with you today as the truth

  • about men, women and the Erotic Creature.

  • But it's going to require some stripping on both of our parts.

  • I need you to strip away all those false pretenses

  • as ideas you have about the female body

  • and I need you to strip your minds wide open.

  • So this is my laboratory

  • where I've spent the last 12 years guiding women

  • toward awakening their feminine body movement

  • which awakens their feminine nature

  • which awakens what I call their Erotic Creature.

  • Every woman on the planet has an Erotic Creature.

  • She's the primal feminine body.

  • She's the wild, untamed, sexual alter ego

  • that lives deep within.

  • Very often she's buried under furry brows,

  • tensed frozen bodies, judgmental thoughts and fear,

  • but she is there.

  • And when you awaken her

  • and you integrate her into your being,

  • it sends you into a place of wholeness

  • and this wholeness of the feminine is capable

  • of elevating every living creature within its reach.

  • Let's talk for one second about -- oh, there it is,

  • the Erotic Creature -- the Unthinkable.

  • What if I tell you that the pole that I was just dancing on

  • is a symbol for the next and fourth wave

  • of the feminist movement?

  • I know, right!?

  • The personal reclamation of the female body and the sexuality within.

  • It's crazy, right?

  • A stripper pole representing the feminist movement --

  • there's got to be some people rolling over in their graves! Heros of mine!

  • But I'm going to tell you about this wild journey

  • I took over the last 23 years that brought me

  • to this place of clarity and conviction.

  • I'll set the scene for you.

  • 1989, La Cienega Boulevard Star Strip Gentleman's Club.

  • The first time I went into a strip club

  • I was a young actress, I was helping a friend with a writing project

  • and I was very unhappy that I had to go on to this place

  • that I felt subjugated and objectified women.

  • But once inside I fell in love with

  • the movement of some of the dancers,

  • Their bodies undulated and they teased

  • and they were provocative and sexual, and so feminine.

  • And I was desperate to learn how to do it.

  • But I didn't want to be a professional stripper.

  • Not that there's anything wrong with that!

  • What I did is

  • I wrote-produced a film

  • where I actually got to play a stripper.

  • And in the movie I needed to create a character

  • who lived and moved through her sexuality.

  • And I thought this is going to be fun.

  • So I, first day of rehearsal, put on this outfit

  • that I thought would communicate

  • my sexy stripper-self into the world,

  • please don't laugh or you can laugh! (Laughter)

  • So I got on stage in this outfit

  • and the music comes on and my body just goes:

  • uh-uh -- uh-uh -- Ain't moving! And she froze!

  • Now I was a dance major, New York University,

  • I'm a professionally trained ballerina,

  • I should know how to do this.

  • But my body was like, "I am not having anything of it!"

  • And I started to force her to kind of --

  • bop from side to side,

  • trying to be really sexy, it was so pathetic,

  • it was totally not sexy!

  • And what I was realizing is that

  • nowhere in my being did I know

  • how to embody my sexuality in my everyday life.

  • It wasn't that I didn't have sexuality. I for myself though it was fine.

  • It was bringing my sexuality into my everyday life.

  • I was faltering at being overtly feminine, like -- wow,

  • the body, which is a brilliantly intuitive creature, speaks.

  • And what my body was saying is:

  • "You can clearly see, is you have no idea who I am."

  • And she was completely right.

  • So I knew something was missing inside of me.

  • I spent the next 4 months, as we developed the film,

  • hunting for who I was as a sexually embodied creature.

  • I went to the strip clubs, I met dancers,

  • I dissected the movement and I learned it,

  • and what I found inside of myself I did not expect.

  • I found its dark, soulful, emotional sexuality

  • that gave me a confidence in my body and my femininity

  • that I'd never had before.

  • What awoke in me was my Erotic Creature.

  • All this is amazing, but it gets so much better,

  • because not only did I awaken that side of myself

  • but this side of myself started changing everything

  • on the home front.

  • My marriage went from "Eh" to "Oh my God!"

  • It's stayed there for 23 years.

  • I became a happier mother to my children,

  • I became a more complete woman on to myself.

  • And I had to share this with other women.

  • I was like, 'You've got -- this is it,

  • this is the Holy Grail of empowerment!'

  • and they're like, 'Ok.'

  • I developed this movement called

  • 'S Factor,' and I started teaching it

  • to fellow pre-school moms and women in the neighbourhood

  • and they too started releasing their sexuality

  • into their everyday lives and into their bodies and --

  • the same changes that I'd had in my life

  • they were having in theirs.

  • Happier relationships, happier children,

  • happier women, it caught on like wild fire.

  • The next thing I know I am on Oprah's.

  • We become -- our effort becomes international news.

  • I'm inundated with e-mails from all over the globe.

  • Apparently, the desire to be whole --

  • it crosses not only geographic boundaries

  • but political and cultural boundaries as well.

  • I had tapped in a world-wide artery

  • of women all missing the same something I had been missing.

  • The Erotic creature was asleep globally. But how was that possible?

  • I couldn't understand how could the woman from Saudi Arabia,

  • the woman from Beijing, the woman from Buenos Aires and me in Los Angeles,

  • how could we all be missing the same thing? I needed to understand this.

  • And I call it the 'Yin effect.'

  • Think of each person, male or female, having within the potential

  • of Yin-feminine and Yang-masculine energy,

  • we live in a world that cuts out a piece of Yin in all of us.

  • And if you jump into that Yin, you'll see that

  • it's the physicality and sexuality of the feminine body that's shut down.

  • And the more women I talked to, the more I learned.

  • And what I learned is that the shutting down of the Yin

  • starts with the first offense.

  • The first offense is the first time anyone or anything

  • brings negative attention, judgment or shame to your body.

  • So my first offense happened when I was 7

  • and this is the picture of what a 7-year-old little girl's body looks like

  • just for you to refer to throughout the story -- this is my daughter.

  • I was hanging out with my best friends, Brian and Donald Doyle,

  • they were 7 and 8 respectively, we were hanging out

  • in the backyard, it was summer, it was really hot,

  • we were playing, we decided to take a break

  • and we went to cool down, so we all took our tops off and

  • we laid back in the grass, arms over the head, it was an awesome day,

  • the air was cooling my chest,

  • it was a beautiful, innocent day.

  • And all of a sudden the upstairs window of their house was flying open

  • and Mrs Doyle stuck her head out

  • and she screamed in the most piercing voice,

  • 'Sheila Kelley! You naughty little girl!

  • You put your top on immediately, you ought to be ashamed of yourself and go home.'

  • My shoulders started to pinch up towards my ears,

  • my chest caved-in with this new-found emotion of shame,

  • I couldn't breathe, it was the moment I began

  • to separate from my female body.

  • Mrs hadn't yelled at her boys but she yelled at me

  • but we did the same thing.

  • What I learned that day is it's safe and good

  • to be in a male body, and it's not safe,

  • it's dangerous to be in a female body.

  • Mrs Doyle didn't hate me,

  • she was trying to curb a sexuality that scared her,

  • that didn't even exist yet.

  • She thought she had the right to tell me what

  • I could and couldn't do with my body.

  • These kind of stories play out every single day all over the globe.

  • We are stealing the light and the life

  • from these creatures, these beautiful feminine creatures.

  • Every single woman you know

  • has had a first offense, whether she's aware of it or not.

  • And she's had subsequent offenses every day of her life, offenses like

  • 'keep your knees together', 'don't move like that',

  • 'she's a slut', 'you look like a whore'.

  • These offenses eat away at the emotional boundary

  • and the ego of the body until you do not know

  • where your body begins and where your body ends.

  • You think anyone, anytime, anywhere can tell you

  • what you can and cannot do in your body

  • and the only choice you have is to shut it down.

  • So let's understand these offenses a little better

  • 'cause they're tricky and you can't always tell they're offenses.

  • And there's a spectrum of them and they're global

  • and they range in noticeability.

  • If some of these pictures are difficult -- please avert your eyes.

  • They range from barbaric, such as the stoning to death of a woman

  • who expresses her sexuality.

  • Or brutal, the creating of a human chastity belt made of flash.

  • Or overt, the mandatory veiling of the female body.

  • To subtle controls, things like offensive advertising

  • that eats away your integrity of your body.

  • To subliminal controls, the infantile global uproar

  • over a pair of royal nipples.

  • Now really, honestly, I just don't know which pair of nipples were so offensive!

  • But that's another talk!

  • So I wanna switch the table on you for a second.

  • Do you know who I find incredibly attractive

  • and I think if I saw his bare nipples

  • I would be so sexually aroused that I couldn't control myself?

  • Daniel Craig. I don't even look over there

  • because -- I kind of think Daniel Craig should cover his nipples, too!

  • (Laughter) (Applause)

  • I know, I know, it's absurd, but is it?

  • We are laughing at this but we are doing this to the female body.

  • Globally.

  • What each and every one of these offenses have in common

  • is the desire -- their end-goal is to control

  • and limit the female body and sexuality,

  • to control the clitoris, to control the vagina,

  • to control the uterus, to control all of it.

  • We don't want to think that atrocities like acid-burnings

  • for turning down a marriage proposal

  • are related to atrocities like

  • domestic abuse for turning down a marriage proposal.

  • But as you can see they're the exact same thing

  • they're just using different tactics of control

  • in different degrees.

  • And when you hear repeatedly

  • that your body is obscene or indecent

  • you begin to internalize it, and you start to self-control

  • and you start to try and hide your body,

  • you try and hide your sexuality in unhealthy eating habits,

  • or you hide in skin and bones,

  • you'll do anything you can to hide.

  • Or you start to cut.

  • Or you try to become somebody else's ideal of perfection.

  • Or you'll mini-man yourself up so that you can be taken more seriously

  • in a world that values all that is masculine.

  • Or you just live where 80% of the women in America live

  • which is where something is missing

  • and you have no idea what it is.

  • What we have done to the ego of the female body is --

  • it's horrific.

  • We have squandered and abused

  • one of the sweetest, most vulnerable,

  • most adorable creatures on the planet,

  • and we -- all of us -- we are all paying the price,