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  • Hi, my name is Rebecca from engvid.com. In today's lesson,

  • you'll learn how to function effectively in a cross-cultural environment in North America, in Britain, and so on,

  • and what you should not do. This is actually one of two videos that I've recorded.

  • The other one is on good manners, and this one is about bad manners.

  • This one is about what you should not do when you're in North America or in England. Okay?

  • So, I've divided it between what you should not say and what you should not do. Let's have a look.

  • So in terms of speaking, when you're speaking in a group or in a public place, try not to speak in a very loud voice.

  • Don't speak too loudly, keep your volume relative to other people's volume. All right?

  • Listen. Now again, everything that I'm going to say to you here remember always take it with a pinch of salt.

  • What does this expression mean? Understand that it's not 100% like that, but generally speaking it's like that. Okay?

  • Next one, in a public situation such as a party, try to avoid controversial subjects.

  • What does that mean? A controversial subject is something where people have strong views such as religion or politics.

  • We try to avoid these subjects, for example: at a social occasion, at a wedding,

  • or a party because if you get into a discussion with someone on these subjects,

  • it can become a little bit aggressive, it can become a little bit angry,

  • and perhaps that's not very kind to your host or hostess that are planning a pleasant kind of event.

  • So remember to keep that in mind. Of course, with your own friends or people you know well

  • or people you see often, you do share your views on these subjects and that may be perfectly okay.

  • All right? Next, we also avoid speaking about money.

  • I know that money is, of course, a great interest to everyone,

  • but we usually do not ask people that we don't know well or acquaintances or people we've just met,

  • we don't ask them questions like, "How much do you make? How much do you earn?

  • How much did you pay for your house or your car?" or something else. We don't ask that because it's not polite.

  • Okay? Of course, again, with people you know well, you may share that information.

  • And if somebody decides to share that with you, that's fine, but you try to avoid asking it.

  • Next is not to ask personal questions. What do I mean by personal questions?

  • You don't usually ask people how old they are, or how much do they weigh, or something like that,

  • or how many, If they're married or if they have kids. Now again, if you're a married person

  • and you have children and you meet another married person and it's clear that he or she has children,

  • it's perfectly fine to talk about how old your children are because it's obvious that you all have children.

  • So I don't mean to never ask them, but if you meet just one person you don't want to start asking them,

  • "Oh, why don't you have children?"

  • or something like that because that's giving advice very early when you barely know somebody

  • and people don't like that kind of advice usually.

  • Next is avoid talking about yourself because that can sometimes seem like you're boasting.

  • Now of course, that doesn't mean not to give information about yourself, but not to talk too much about yourself.

  • When you talk too much about yourself then people feel that you're, you just care about yourself.

  • Instead of that, show, tell a little bit about yourself,

  • and then turn the conversation and turn the focus and the attention onto the other person;

  • ask them about themselves. Okay, the next point is not to interrupt people.

  • In many different cultures there's many different rules about this,

  • but in North America generally when one person is speaking, we try to wait until they finish speaking

  • and then we say what we want to say. Try not to interrupt while other people are speaking.

  • Last point here is about speaking when your mouth is full. Don't do it. In other words,

  • don't eat and talk at the same time. Eat, if you're at a dinner, eat, finish eating, and then speak.

  • Nobody likes to see all that food inside your mouth

  • and neither can we understand you very clearly when you have something in your mouth, so avoid that.

  • Next, let's look at some things which you should not do. Don't stare at people.

  • Don't stare at women. Also. I know that when I had some students from other countries,

  • they said to me that when they came to Canada, they didn't understand when men were interested in them

  • because in their country, men normally looked at them when they walked down the street,

  • and here men don't usually do that. They look, but they don't look... show that they're looking.

  • So the women, the woman said to me: "I don't know when anybody likes me because nobody's looking at me."

  • So I explained to her that, because she was a very attractive girl,

  • that I'm sure a lot of people like you and like the way you look, but they're not going to show it.

  • So in a North American environment, usually we don't try to stare at strangers.

  • Okay? So keep that in mind. Next point is when you meet someone for the first time,

  • it is not the custom to kiss. All right? Even the polite kiss on the cheek, we don't do that.

  • In some countries, it is perfectly acceptable and in fact that's part of their custom,

  • but in North American, in North America- no. Just shake hands and that's enough.

  • Later, when the relationship becomes friendlier, warmer then sometimes we do give each other a little kiss on the cheek

  • but be a little...., better to be careful about that rather than to do it too soon.

  • Okay? Next is to avoid touching people too much when you're talking to them,

  • or don't touch them at all; if there's a stranger, try to avoid touching them.

  • Again, it's a general rule. Sometimes men when they meet, they will slap each other on the back

  • or something like that. But on the whole, if you're not certain, it's better not to do that

  • and just a shaking of hands or something like that is enough. Also, if you bump into someone,

  • try..., when you're walking down the street, try to avoid bumping into people,

  • it's not expected and if it happens, apologize.

  • Next, avoid any kind of what could be considered sort of uncultured behavior,

  • which would mean things like spitting in a public place, or scratching your head,

  • or scratching yourself in some private place, or burping, or farting, or anything like that.

  • Avoid all of those things. That is not considered polite at all. Next is when you're walking, even when you're walking down a street,

  • if you see two people coming, and them seem, it's clear they're talking to each other,

  • try to avoid walking right between them, walk around them.

  • If you have to walk through two people who are speaking to each other or who are clearly together

  • then make sure you say, "excuse me," "I'm sorry," something like that as you pass.

  • But otherwise, avoid that; find a way around them. Next, don't be impatient in your speech or in your body language.

  • When someone is talking to you, don't go: "Yes, uh huh, uh huh, right, yes, yes. And then?"

  • So when you do things like that, people understand that you're trying to rush them,

  • you're trying to hurry them like you're boring them, like you already can read their mind

  • and you know what they want to say, so don't do that. Wait patiently, listen.

  • Sometimes we do these things with people we live with and this probably not very nice there either,

  • but it may be okay at home to do that. It's not really okay to do that with others.

  • The next thing is going to be tricky and you're going to ask me,

  • "Like what are you talking about? There are so many cologne and perfume companies."

  • But I have written here in an office situation, in a business environment, don't wear cologne or perfume.

  • Yes, I am saying that. Why? Because in many office environments in North America today,

  • they are considered sort of fragrance-free zones. Because of the fact that many people have allergies,

  • they are, it is recommended that people don't use cologne.

  • If you have to use cologne, use very, very little or just have, just be clean,

  • but don't use cologne or perfume. Certainly don't drench yourself in that; don't use too much.

  • Now, if you go to a party, again, yes you can use cologne or perfume, but don't use too much;

  • don't overpower people because somebody who might be sensitive to smell will actually not like that at all,

  • which is not your intention. Okay?

  • And the last one which is part of that is about body odor. Don't smell bad. Now, you might wonder,

  • "Well, that's why I use the cologne." No, you don't want to use the cologne to hide your body odor, no.

  • What you want to do is you want to be clean. That means your mouth should be fresh,

  • brush your teeth, use breath freshener if you need to,

  • especially if you've just eaten food with a lot of spices in it. Also make sure you use deodorant.

  • We are not accustomed to the smell of sweat here, so use deodorant or antiperspirant so that you don't smell.

  • Also make sure you take a shower regularly. And make sure your clothes don't smell of wherever you've been

  • because clothes can hold on to the smell of food,

  • or tobacco, or marijuana, or alcohol, and all kinds of things.

  • So make sure that your clothes are clean and that they don't smell of something,

  • particularly if you're going to an interview or something like that or if you're going to a party as well. Okay?

  • So I believe that if you do these 15 things, or rather if you don't do these 15 things,

  • you will be very effective in a North American culture. Thank you very much for watching.

  • If you'd like to subscribe to my channel on YouTube, please do that. And if you'd like to do a quiz on this subject,

  • please go to our website: www.engvid.com. Thank you very much.

Hi, my name is Rebecca from engvid.com. In today's lesson,

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A2 初級

マナーが悪い。言ってはいけないこと、してはいけないこと (丁寧な英語) (Bad Manners: What NOT to say or do (Polite English))

  • 17476 1983
    Halu Hsieh に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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