(hip-hop music)

[富裕層は上部地区 貧困層は下部地区に住む]

(footsteps thudding softly)

[上部と下部は「ライン」と呼ばれる 境界壁で分けられている]

- Hey, uh, Steffi, what time is it?

[運命の人]

(Steffi, electronic voice): Hello, Stu. It is 6:04 PM.

[ライン下部地区]

- Shit.

[ライン]

(hip-hop music continues)

[ライン上部地区]

(indistinct chatter)

ステッフィ 何時？

- I'm so tired of truffles.

スチュ ６時４分よ

- Me too. I hear they have great food vehicles

マズい

Below The Line but I'm simply too scared to go down there.

ごめん

(pretentious laughter)

[ココ･デ･クエ]

(Steffi): You Must Eat Here. Three Stars.

トリュフは飽きた

Reminder: as a resident of Above the Line

ライン下部の屋台に興味があるけど 怖くて行けないわ

you must eat here by end of month.

高級店ココ･デ･クエ

- Okay, we've got the Belgian Long Grain Wheat Quintuple IPA.

上部の住人は今月中に来る義務が

- Don't mind if I do!

ベルギー産 長麦芽クインタプルＩＰＡよ

(breathes in)

いただくよ

- Creamy nose feel, you know. - Nice.

クリーミーな香り

- And a Pumpkin Saffron Super Double Triple IPA.

パンプキン･スーパーダブル･トリプルＩＰＡ

- Boom.

すごいね

- And who is the lager in a bottle for?

ラガーは誰の？

- That's my buddy. Sorry. He's always late.

友達だ　遅刻魔でね

- Had to dig way back in the cooler for this. Didn't even know we had them anymore.

ラガーなんて見たの久しぶり

Can I get you handsome gentlemen anything else?

他には？イケメンさん

- Hey! Whoa, whoa! We're both happily married!

攻めてきたね

- Easy now! (chuckling)

- 既婚者だ - 残念

- That's great! - Yeah.

いいわね

- Dewis! - Stu!

デュイス

- Whaddup, bro! - Whaddup?!

スチュ

(exclamations, beeping noises)

元気か？

Stu, Pobby. Pobby, Stu. - Nice to meet you, bro. - Good to meet you, bro.

彼はポビーだ

Sorry I'm late.

- やあ - よろしく

- You know what? I hear you're always late.

遅れた

- Hey! Ah, guilty.

遅刻魔なんだろ？

Oh, jeez, you had it! Thank you.

おい　バラすなよ

- How do you drink that stuff?

ラガーだ！やった

- Hm. Love this stuff. Just grew up on it, you know. "Lay-ger".

よく飲めるな

- That's rough. - Yeah.

子供の時から飲んでる

Stu, any dates this week, man?

ヤバいな

- No... none this week. Actually, I haven't had one since last month.

恋人探しは？

- Dates? You weren't assigned at birth? Why?

先月からデートもしてない

- Oh, Stu grew up Below The Line.

出生時に指定された婚約者は？

- Oh shit. - Yeah.

彼は下部出身だ

Nobody Below The Line gets assigned. You have to date.

マジで？

But then my mom invented an app that removes apps from your brain.

下部では自分で探す でも母が「アプリ断捨離」アプリを開発して

- The UnAppetizer? - Yeah. So she made a whole bunch of money,

あのアプリ？

we moved Above The Line. I was already 18 by then, so I still gotta date.

それで成金になって18歳の時 上部に

- Dude, I love The UnAppetizer.

よく使ってるよ

- Everybody does. - Hold on, I'm getting something here.

大人気だ

Steffi? (Steffi): Hello, Pobby. What can I do for you?

ステッフィ

- Launch UnAppetizer.

ポビー ご用は？

- UnAppetizer recommends deleting Meet-Me-Sex-Me as you are now married.

「アプリ断捨離」を

It also recommends deleting Where-See-Movie-At as all movies are available on me.

「セフレ探し」は既婚者には不要

It recommends deleting Get-Buff-Quick as you have clearly given up.

「映画館検索」も私がいるからムダ

- Oh...

「速攻ムキムキ」も三日坊主ね

- Man, that's crazy. You know, the dating world.

俺は指定セフレと ちょっと遊んだ後―

I feel like I just did my assigned hook ups after college,

指定婚約者のネイチェルと結婚

and then did a little Meet-Me-Sex-Me,

満足してるよ

and then, I married Nachel, and... it's good. It is good.

婚活はマジで過酷だ

- Yeah, I mean, I gotta say, the dating world is brutal.

一生独身でいるかも

I don't know, I'm starting to think I might just be single forever.

失礼　盗み聞きした 「運命の人」を試しては？

- Sorry to interrupt but I was eavesdropping.

何それ？

Have you tried The One That's The One?

初めて聞いたよ

- Uh... no. No.

100％保証つきの出会い系サイトだ

What is The One That's The One?

必ず完璧な相手を届けてくれる

- A dating site.

へえ

It's called The One That's The One because it promises,

私と妻のマクエラも

100% guaranteed, to send you The One That's The One. The perfect person for you.

つづりは？

- Oh.

ＭＱ＆ＬＡＡＡＡＡＡ

- That's how I met my wife, Mequela.

- 一般的だ - いいね

- How do you spell that?

ＣＭは見た？

- M, Q, ampersand, laaaaaaa. - Hm.

- いや - これだ

- Old school spelling. - Nice.

この会社の人？

- You haven't seen the commercial?

採用されれば

- No. - Here.

そうか…

- Do you work for the company?

下部出身？婚約者に不満？ 出会いがない？

- I'm still waiting to hear back.

婚活に疲れたら―

- Oh...

「運命の人」へ

- Grew up Below The Line? Sick of your mandated mate?

ネジャリ研究所では 質問とＤＮＡ検査で―

Looking for someone, but coming up with none?

完璧な相手を探します

Just plain tired of the dating scene? Well, try...

権威あるネジャリ博士が発明した アルゴリズムが選ぶのは―

The One That's The One!

運命の人！

At Negari Labs, we used a combination of specific questions

僕も見つかった

combined with DNA testing to assure that you get your perfect match!

お熱いジジババめ！

Our city's prized scientist, Dr. Negari,

今すぐネジャリ研究所で相手を見つけよう

has developed an algorithm that promises to send you not just anyone,

見るなよ

but The One That's The One. - It even worked for me!

ダンスの邪魔だ

- Get outta here you dotty old lovebirds!

スチュ･マックサム？

Come on down to Negari Labs today - and find your The One That's The One!

ＣＭに出てる人だ

Get outta here! I'm dancing.

何のことです？

- Huh.

こちらへ

- Stu? Stu Maxsome? - Yes.

自分でも信じられなかった

Oh, hey, it's you. From the commercial.

だって このサービスって何ていうか…

- I have no idea what you're talking about.

上部の人がする指定婚と似てる

Follow me.

でも今は僕も上部の住人だ

- I can't believe I'm doing this. At first, I thought: no way!

それに母が早く結婚しろって

No way am I gonna do that.

うるさくはないけど…

I mean, I don't know, isn't that like, uh, I don't know,

緊張してます？

me doing One That's The One, isn't that like someone from Above The Line being assigned?

大丈夫　ご満足いただけます

Yeah, it is! And then, I thought:

ああ

Well, I'm Above The Line now, maybe I should do it.

ＤＮＡ抽出中に いくつか質問をします

Also, I was just sort of depressed.

この回答も重要な情報源になります

My mom has been really hard on me about finding somebody.

- よし - 正直に回答を

Not crazy, though. She's really sweet. She's-- - I can tell you're nervous.

分かった

Just relax, I assure you'll be satisfied with our service.

好きな数字

- Yeah...

３

- Okay. So, as the machine extracts and scans your DNA,

いや ８

I'm gonna ask you a few questions. - Sure.

答えにくいでしょうが―

- The results of these two tests will give us

正直に

the information we need to find your One That's The One.

好きな数字は？

- Great. - All that matters is that you answer honestly.

- ４ - いいですね

- Sure. - Okay. Ahem.

好きな食べ物

What is your favourite number?

ピザ

- Three. No, eight.

私も

- It's okay, the questions can be a little awkward.

次の質問です

Just answer honestly.

砂漠で１匹のカメに出会ったあなたは―

- Okay. - What is your favourite number?

カメをひっくり返す

- Four. - Good.

カメは腹を日に焼かれ足をバタつかせている

- What is your favourite food? - Pepperoni pizza.

でも あなたは助けない

- Me too! Okay, next question.

なぜです？

You're in the desert walking in the sand when all of a sudden, you look down,

さあ…　助けると思うけど

you see a tortoise crawling towards you.

何か…

You reach down and flip it over on its back.

あなたの目の前にＣＭで見た人が

- Oh. - The tortoise lays there on its back,

でも否定された　どうします？

its belly baking in the sun, its legs flailing.

署名を

It can't turn itself over without your help.

ああ

But you're not helping. Why is that?

82クレジットです

- Oh... I don't know. I feel like I'd probably help.

分かった

- Huh.

完了

- Is it...

あとはネジャリ博士が アルゴリズムで解析し―

- You meet someone that reminds you of someone you just saw in a commercial.

運命の人は今夜０時にお宅に届きます

He denies being that person. What do you do?

真夜中の？

And sign here. - Okay.

演出です

- Great. And that's 82 credits. - Okay.

なるほど

(ding!)

…相手を見つけよう

- Okay. - Congratulations.

それじゃ

Dr. Negari will enter all your information into the algorithm

いい夜を

and your One That's The One will arrive at your home tonight exactly at midnight.

“やあ”

- Oh, midnight. Okay.

“僕はスチュ”

- For dramatic effect.

来客よ

- All right. Ha.

今 行く！

- ... and find your One That's The One!

やあ

- I'll see ya!

どちらさま？

- Good night!

私はバートだ

(soft music)

つまり… 君の「運命の人」だ

(sighing)

えっと…　ちょっと待って

- Hi, I'm Stu.

あの 悪いんだけど―

Hi! I'm Stu.

何かの間違いだ

Mm!

当然だ

Tsk.

失礼かもしれんが…

(sighing)

- ゲイ？ - 違う

(doorbell ringing)

私もだ

(Steffi): You have a visitor. - But... I'm coming!

だったら間違い確定だ

- Hi.

最悪だ

- Hi. Can I help you?

君のことじゃない

- Uh... I'm Burt...

分かってる

Uh... I'm your One That's The One.

クソ！

- Are you...? Oh, don't come in.

そう落ち込むな

Uh, no. I'm sorry. That's... That's just, that's ridiculous.

僕には運命の相手はいないのかも

You can't be my One That's The One. - No, of course not.

下部出身者の宿命だな

I mean - and I apologize for asking you this -

場所は？

are you a homosexual? - No. - Well, neither am I!

ハルベックハイツだ

- Right. See? Okay, so clearly there's been some kind of mix-up.

そこで車を売ってた

- Yeah. I mean, I guess so.

その後 上部に

I want my money back. No offence.

お互いラッキーだな

- Hey! None taken.

改めて バート･チャンドだ

(sighing) Man!

スチュ･マックサムだ

- Ah, don't take it so hard, buddy.

来てくれてよかった 誰も来ないのかと思ってたよ

- No, it's just...

遅れて悪かった　私は遅刻魔でね

I don't know, sometimes I start feeling like I'll never find anybody.

気にしないで

Just... It sucks. Sucks to be born Below The Line.

これから食事に出るけど 一緒にどう？

- Where? What neighbourhood?

アルの店を知ってるか？

- Hallubeck Heights, right by Ooscar and Benowen.

下部地区の？もちろん！

- I used to sell cars down there before I got transferred.

下部地区は危険です

- No way! - God, I was happy for that. - Tell me about it, huh?

目的は？

(laughter)

- 食堂だ - マジ？

- Well, it was nice meeting you all the same. Burt Chund.

身体検査は面倒だけどマッチョは別よ

- Hey, yeah, you too. Stu Maxsome.

よかった

You know, honestly, I'm just... I'm glad someone finally showed up.

行くぞ

It got to be 12:15 and I was thinking no one was coming.

ああ　じゃあね

- I'm sorry about that - I'm always late. Something I should work on.

装甲車を爆破する場面だ

- No, don't think twice about it.

爆破をやめたのに…

Well, hey, listen, I got kinda hungry, I was actually gonna grab some food.

勝手に爆発する

I don't know, you wanna come?

最高だった

- I could eat. - Yeah? - You ever go to Al's?

アル

- Al's Diner? Below The Line? Love that place!

注文は？

(announcement on PA): Be careful proceeding below the line.

卵白オムレツ

- Reason for going Below The Line?

卵白オムレツと卵黄焼きをくれ

- Gonna get diner food. - Gross.

マジで？僕と同じだ

- Normally I don't love patting people down,

卵黄も食べたいけど―

but when they got muscles like you, I don't mind so much.

卵白とは別に

- I'm glad I could make your night better.

同じのを

- Ha! - Okay, let's go.

はいよ

- Right behind ya! Bye.

- 奇遇だ - 本当に

(devilish laughter)

妻は他界した

(sighing)

気の毒に

- I love when they're gonna blow the door off that armoured car.

もう昔の話だ

- Oh, yes, yes! And they decide not to.

- 私が - いや 僕が

- It blows up anyway! - Yes, right.

ダメだ

I love that show.

僕が誘った

- Hey, Al.

いいんだ　払わせろ

- What do you want? (both): Egg-white omelette--

分かった　ありがとう

- Oh.

楽しかった

- Uh, egg-white omelette. But could you fry the yolks and put them on the side?

本当に

- What? No way! That's my order.

車を買う時は頼むよ

I mean, that's literally what I order. That's so funny.

もう現場の仕事はしてないよ

'Cause I like the yolks, but... - Separate! - Yeah. Yeah.

僕は あっちなんだ

I'm gonna do the same.

またね

- Okay.

すまない

- What are the odds? - It's unbelievable!

僕こそ　ハグなんて

(laughter)

元気で

- ... but then, my wife passed away.

じゃあな

- Oh. I'm sorry about that. - It's okay. It was a long time ago.

すみません

I got this. - Oh, no, come on, let me get it.

いませんか

- No. - No, please. - No, I got it.

誰か？

- I invited you, let me just... - Hey. Hey, hey. No, no, I got it. I got it.

ネジャリ博士？

- Alright. Thank you.

誰か？

(ding!)

おい　待ってくれ

- Well, that was fun. - Yeah, that was a blast.

返金する気はなさそうだ

And look, if I ever need a new car, I know who to call, right?

でも また会えたね

- Please. My days on the floor are over. I'm a desk jockey now.

ランチでも？

- Listen, I'm back this way actually, so...

食べてもいいよ

- Oh. Well...

チーズサンドは？

- See you around?

すごい

- Oh, I... I'm sorry, I didn't...

驚いた

- No, it's... weird that I went for the hug.

こうなるとは…

Take it easy.

私もだ

- Yep! Bye! - Yes.

でも―

(soft music)

予感はあった

Hello?

- チーズサンドは？ - いらん

Hello-o-o?!

どうせ食えない

(soft snoring) Hello?

- 乳糖不耐症だ - マジ？

(softly): Dr. Negari?

こいつめ

- Hello?! (screaming)

君の親に会うなんて

(both screaming) (all three screaming)

大丈夫

- Wait a minute! - Whoa, wait! - Wait a minute!

このニットは？

(whooshing, thudding)

気品がある

Well, I guess he didn't want to give us our money back.

でも この腹じゃな

- Yeah, I guess not. Good to see ya.

おい

What are you doing? Wanna get lunch or something?

僕の大好きな腹だ

- Well, I had some work to do, but...

こっち

- Do you like grilled cheese?

スチュ！

(panting)

２人とも ただいま！

That was crazy.

会いたかったわ

Had no idea that was gonna happen.

紹介するよ　バートだ

- Me neither. Well...

ようこそ チャンドさん

maybe some idea.

父もチャンドだ　バートと

- Did you still want that grilled cheese?

面白い人ね　リンダよ

- Nope. I don't even like grilled cheese.

光栄です

- I'm lactose intolerant. - Stop! You dog! (chuckling)

フランス式ね

(birdsong)

よかったな

(cheerful pop song)

落ち着いて

(no audible dialogue)

いい曲よね

(barking)

歌おう

(pop music continues)

チャチャチャ　ラインのガードマン

- I can't believe I'm gonna meet your parents.

バッグの中を見ないで

Do I look okay? - Stop it. You look great.

マーロ･アムフリーのライブは 17回 行ったわ