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Vanessa: Hi, I'm Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com.
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Dan: And I'm Dan.
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Vanessa: My husband, who is also going to be giving another perspective in today's conversation.
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Today we're bringing you an amazing, long, English conversation, so prepare your ears,
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prepare your mind.
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We're going to be talking about 12 different topics, and hopefully providing some new expressions
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and new ways to think about life.
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I don't know about that, but at least some English help for you.
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Dan: Yeah, it's going to get personal today, so get ready.
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Vanessa: Yes.
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All right, are you ready to get started?
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Dan: I'm ready.
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Vanessa: Let's go.
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Our first topic is family, and my question is, who do you think that you're the most
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like?
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Dan: Who am I the most like, in appearance?
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Vanessa: Yes.
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Dan: Both appearance and character?
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Vanessa: Yeah, both.
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Dan: Okay, so appearance I look mostly like my mom, I think.
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Vanessa: Okay.
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Dan: I have more of her skin tone, I have her eyes.
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Vanessa: Yeah.
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Dan: And on her side of the family, most of the people are pretty skinny, and I'm a rather
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skinny guy.
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My dad's side is German, and they tend to be a little bit bigger.
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So yeah, I definitely got my mom's side.
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But character wise, I think I'm a little more like my dad.
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Would you agree?
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Vanessa: Yeah, I'd say you have shades of your dad.
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Dan: You know me so well, so you can answer this, too.
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Vanessa: Yeah.
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Yeah, I think you have shades of your dad.
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Yeah.
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Dan: Shades, yeah.
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I think I'm more silly than my dad, that's not very hard because my dad is pretty serious.
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Vanessa: Ah, he's got a silly side though.
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Dan: He does, yeah.
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But for the most part, I think I'm more like my dad because he has a very calm demeanor,
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he's very patient, and he doesn't get stressed about anything.
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And actually, my dad gets so unstressed about everything, I can't even understand it.
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I'm like, "How are you so calm right now?"
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And everybody I know thinks that I'm the most stress free person they know.
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Vanessa: But your dad is even more stress free.
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Dan: Yeah, but we're similar, like growing up when my parents would be going somewhere,
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and needing to get out of the house, me and my dad would be the last one out of the house
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every single time.
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Then we would be like, "What?
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We'll make it.
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We'll be okay.
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No problem."
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Vanessa: And your mom, and brother, and sister were saying, "Come on, hurry."
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Dan: And my mom is like, "Ah, let's go."
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My mom is much more high stress, anxious kind of personality.
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Vanessa: That's kind of a typical family situation, I think.
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Dan: Yeah, how about you?
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Vanessa: I think I have both my parents in me as well.
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I think I look a lot like my mom.
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Dan: Yeah, she looks exactly like her mom, though, like to a T.
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Vanessa: Sometimes when I see pictures of myself, and then I look at a picture of her
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at the same age, I think, "Whoa.
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We look really similar."
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And she looks a lot like her mom, so I can kind of imagine what I'll look like when I'm
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getting older.
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Dan: Yeah.
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I mean, you have darker hair, and darker features.
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You got that from your dad.
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Vanessa: Yeah, somewhat.
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But I think a lot of my features are similar to my mom.
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But I think I also got my facial expressions from my mom.
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Dan: Yes.
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Vanessa: A lot of comment that, "Wow, Vanessa, you have a lot of expressions."
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Dan: Your mom is very expressive, just like you.
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Vanessa: And I think it's true that I use a lot of expressions, but it's just natural
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for me.
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I do this in daily life as I'm talking about things.
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And I think that I get that from my mom, sometimes I see some of her expressions and I realize,
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"Oh, I do that too."
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Dan: Yeah, I remember when we lived in South Korea, every single Korean person was commenting
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on Vanessa's expressions.
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They're like, "Your face, it's so exciting.
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How are you making so many faces?"
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Everybody was surprised.
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Vanessa: I don't know.
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Dan: I guess in Korea they don't make as many faces.
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Vanessa: I don't know, maybe it's just not.
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Maybe it's just an unusual trait.
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I'm grateful for that, especially as a teacher, I can hopefully help to explain some different
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concepts with my face as well.
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But I feel like I also have parts of my dad.
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My dad is a pretty rational guy.
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Dan: You're rational like your dad.
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Vanessa: Yeah, but I think I also have his sense of humor, sometimes a little strange
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sense of humor, but we laugh at the same things, we enjoy playing games, and being competitive,
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so I think that that side of me, maybe some of the character side of me, is similar to
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him.
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But I feel like I also have parts of my grandma.
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My grandma is a go, go, go, go person.
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Dan: Oh, that's true.
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Yeah.
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Vanessa: She never stops, and I think my biggest flaw is that I have difficulty slowing down
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and relaxing, I just keep going and I think that-
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Dan: That's why she's with me.
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Vanessa: ... I need help relaxing.
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Dan: I help her relax.
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Vanessa: Yeah, so I think that my grandma's like this too, that she's always going, and
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always doing things, and it's healthy to slow down every now and then.
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And so, I need to do that, she probably needs to do that too sometimes.
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But I don't know if I learned that from her, but maybe that's just part of my-
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Dan: I think it's your personality.
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Vanessa: ... DNA, my character.
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Dan: Yeah, I can remember even when I first met Vanessa, she was more go, go, go than
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she is now.
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Vanessa: Oh, you think so?
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Dan: Yeah.
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More like so this thing, then the next, and the enthusiasm was always, she was like bouncing
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everywhere.
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Vanessa: I always have a lot of enthusiasm, that's true.
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Dan: Yes, it was off the charts.
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Vanessa: Yeah, so I want to know for you, who are you most like in your family?
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Is it maybe your physical traits or for your character?
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All right, let's go on to our second question.
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The next topic is childhood.
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I want to know when do you think childhood ends, and when do you become an adult?
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Dan: When does childhood end?
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Vanessa: This is a deep question.
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Dan: Well, I don't think it can be a specific age, I think it's different for everyone.
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I think it's at any point you can leave this house of your parents and live on your own,
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take care of yourself, and you're not dependent on somebody else.
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Like if you're living with your friends and bumming off them, you're probably not an adult
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yet.
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So if I had to pick an age, I'd probably say 16.
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Vanessa: Oh.
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Dan: Yeah, I'm saying kind of young.
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Vanessa: Okay.
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Dan: In an ideal world, I think a 16 year old should be ready.
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Vanessa: Okay.
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Okay.
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I get it.
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At 16 were you ready?
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Dan: No, of course not.
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Vanessa: Ideally.
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Dan: Ideally, yeah.
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I don't think our society prepares us to be ready at 16.
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It prepares you to be ready at 18.
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Vanessa: Or later.
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Dan: Right, or later.
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But you know, in an ideal world I think you could be ready at 16, but it's a kind of complicated
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world now, so maybe 18 is an acceptable age.
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Vanessa: I feel like, for me, I have less ideas about childhood ending and adulthood
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starting that are physical.
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I feel like it has more to do with making your own decisions.
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There might be a lot of reasons why you have to live at home, or you have to be dependent
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on someone else, but if you are making your own decisions you are not a child, you're
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an adult.
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And I'm sure as our children get older and become teenagers, that's going to be a little
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bit harder for us to make that line for someone else, but I know for myself-
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Dan: Well, this is- Vanessa: ... making more decisions.
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Dan: ... assuming you are capable as a person to live on your own, of course.
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Vanessa: Yeah.
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Yeah, I think you can still be an adult just making your own decisions, but we still need
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help from other people as adults, so there's a... it's a gray area.
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Dan: Sure.
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Yeah.
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I would- Vanessa: Yeah, it's not so clear.
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Dan: ... also add, I don't know, for myself personally, having children really makes you
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an adult.
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It doesn't have to be true for everyone, but I think it's easier for some people to just
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kind of be really selfish, and do their own thing, and kind of live like a kid, especially
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nowadays because we have so much entertainment, you could just watch TV every day.
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A lot of guys I know play video games a lot, and I'm not knocking on video games but playing
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video games every day is a good way to remain a child, at heart anyways.
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Vanessa: Sure.
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Dan: This is my opinion, it's a little judgemental, but-
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Vanessa: Yeah, I think if you are a good person, and you have a child, then you feel forced
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to be become an adult.
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Dan: Yes.
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Vanessa: There's still bad people who have kids, who remain children themselves-
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Dan: That's true.
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Vanessa: ... and then they're bad parents.
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But I think if you're generally a good person, when you have kids, it's kind of a shock.
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Dan: Yeah, well- Vanessa: Like, "Whoa, this child is so dependent
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on me.
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I need to be responsible.
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I have to organize myself somehow."
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You have to change.
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Dan: ... I think being an adult, part of it is having a burden of responsibility of some
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kind, whether it's a job, or your house payments, or whatever it is.
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Some people add those burdens of responsibility anyways without children, but I don't know,
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for me, it's just different.
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Like, "This is the person I'm taking care of in my life."
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People now- Vanessa: Yeah.
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Dan: ... because we've got two.
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Vanessa: Well, two coming up soon.
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So I have a question for you, when do you think childhood ends?
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When does adulthood start?
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It's going to be different for every culture, too because this is a pretty cultural specific
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question.
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Maybe in the U.S.- Dan: Yeah, maybe you have a-
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Vanessa: ... it's different than your country.
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Dan: ... maybe you have a rite of passage in your country.
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Vanessa: Oh, can you explain what a rite of passage is?
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Because that's kind of a nuanced thing.
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Dan: Yeah, a rite of passage is something that every boy or every girl does to become
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an adult.
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Vanessa: Oh, like some ceremony, or activity.
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Dan: Yeah, like a ceremony.
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Yeah, I mean, we don't really have this in the U.S., some people say college is a rite
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of passage, but not...
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I mean, more and more, almost everybody goes to college now.
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Vanessa: A lot of people do, but- Dan: Yeah, so it kind of is, but it's a really
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bad one because usually people just go, and they have parties, and they live really irresponsibly.
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Vanessa: It's not a way to become a responsible adult.
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Dan: Yeah, and then you do more school.
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Vanessa: Ah, yes.
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Dan: It's not really becoming a man.
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Vanessa: Changing your life completely.
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Yeah.
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So I'm curious, in your country is there something that signifies, "Now you are an adult.", this
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kind of rite of passage ceremony, or festivity, or party that you have.
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In the U.S. we don't really have that, but I think it's kind of a cool idea that you're
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celebrating- Dan: I wish we did.
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Vanessa: ... this big change, going from childhood to adulthood, and it is a gray area, at least
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in the U.S. it's a really gray area, so it's nice to celebrate that as parents, that your
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kids are adults, hopefully.
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And that as a child, "Oh, great, now I'm an adult.
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Society sees me as an adult."
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So I think it's kind of a cool idea, but maybe it's something we can do with our future kids.
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All right, let's go onto the next topic.
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The next topic is jobs.
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I want to know what was your worst job ever.
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Dan: Worst job ever?
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Vanessa: Yeah.
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Dan: Well, I have two competing jobs.
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Vanessa: Hopefully it's not your current job, making English lessons.
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Dan: It's video editing and doing these videos.
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Vanessa: Oh, no.
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Dan: I can't stand working with my wife.
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Just kidding.
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It's the best.
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Yeah.
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