字幕表 動画を再生する
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All right, let's move on to the world of news media.
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We're now joined by senior media correspondent
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-Ronny Chieng, everybody! -(cheers and applause)
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Thank you. Thank you.
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Hey, Trevor, I'm not sure if you're familiar
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with the internet or TV, but if you are,
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you've probably seen this (bleep)
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that happened a few days ago on Fox News.
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In the first presidential debate,
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China was mentioned 12 times.
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So we sent Watters down to New York's Chinatown
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to sample political opinion.
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Okay, first of all, let me get this straight.
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They say "China" in the debate so you go to Chinatown?
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-(laughter) -In New York?
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So when they mention Mexico, do you send someone to Taco Bell?
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(laughter)
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Chinatown is nothing like China!
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They got nothing to do with each other.
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That's like if they brought up women's rights,
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so I decide to go over to Fox News to get some opinions.
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(laughter)
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Now, as dumb as that premise is,
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it is nothing compared to the idiocy that followed.
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And by the way, we haven't added anything to this.
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This is the original footage from Fox News.
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(Asian-style music plays)
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(loud boom)
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(dance beat playing)
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Am I supposed to bow to say hello?
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(speaks Chinese)
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I like these watches. Are they hot?
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JCPenney. $3.98.
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(laughing)
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Who are you gonna vote for?
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Clinton's wife has a name. What is it?
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Uh... oh, man.
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I forget it.
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Well, snap out of it.
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-Do you know karate? -Yeah, I know.
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Hit my hand.
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(martial arts grunting)
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Ah... that's the spot.
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Is it the Year of the Dragon?
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Rabbit?
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No, it's actually the Year of Go (bleep) Yourself!
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(laughter, applause, whooping)
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What the hell was that?
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How was that on the news?
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In fact, how was that even on TV?
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Where the (bleep) did this come from?
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I mean, everyone's been wondering who'll be the target
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of 2016's worst racism.
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I didn't even know Asians were in the running.
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Oh, and by the way, if you're gonna be racist,
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at least get your stereotypes right,
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you ignorant sack of (bleep).
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Karate isn't Chinese, it's Japanese!
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And you're doing it in a taekwondo studio,
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which is Korean, you (bleep) jack-off!
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Jack on! Jack off! Jack on! Jack off!
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(cheering, applause)
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(bleep) this guy!
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And seriously! Mr. Miyagi?
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Update your reference material.
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That's like me making fun of Americans
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for Saturday Night Fever and Mr. T.
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Yeah, real topical stuff, buddy.
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If you want to come at Chinese people,
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make fun of China's high pollution,
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or the fact that they censor most of the Internet.
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Which in this case may actually be a good thing,
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since no person in China will ever have to watch
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your garbage attempt at comedy!
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Donald Trump beating up on China at the debate.
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(chuckles)
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(crickets chirping)
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Trump has been beating up on China.
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How does that make you feel?
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Speak! Speak! Why don't you speak?
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Hey, asshole, they don't speak English.
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That's why they're silent.
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It's easy to make fun of someone when they can't respond.
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Here, I'll show you. Hey, douchebag,
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why do you look like a guy who carries around a pack of roofies
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-just in case? -(laughter, groaning)
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And why do you look like you have hookers on speed-dial?
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Oh, and follow-up question:
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Is it hard to fit Bill O'Reilly's entire scrotum
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in your mouth?
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-(crickets chirping) -(laughter, groaning)
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This might come as a surprise, but Chinese Americans do
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actually have genuine thoughts on this year's election.
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That's why I went to Chinatown to speak to people
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in a language they understood-- human.
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♪ ♪
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Wait. You understand American politics enough
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to lodge a protest vote?
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Definitely.
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I'm from Queens.
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What are your thoughts on the Jesse Watters video on Fox News?
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The chicken(bleep) reporter who came down here
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and thought he was big (bleep) because he talked to people
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who couldn't speak English?
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Yeah, that douche bag piece of (bleep).
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The one who was sent here by the larger chicken (bleep)
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who wouldn't come to Chinatown because he was afraid
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-to do it himself, you mean that one? -Yeah, that guy.
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The one with no testicles, the one who came down here
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who said, "Let me talk to some old people
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-Totally. -"and let me put them on camera
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"without asking them,
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"and sort of put them on national television
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and made fun of them in the worst possible way,"
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-that asshole? -Okay, I think we're talking
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-about the same guy. -Right, right.
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What was the question again?
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I can't remember.
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(applause, cheering)