字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,270 I want to talk today about Hooters. 00:00:05,292 --> 00:00:07,750 I know what you're thinking-- oh, that silly Ellen is going to trick us and show us a cute web video of some owls, because she said Hooters. No. You don't know me. No. Today, I'm going to talk about boobies. Although if you have a cute owl video, send it to me, because I love owls and I love cute videos. But here's the headline that I want to talk about, right here. Hooters Forced To Close Restaurants Because Millennials Aren't That Into Breasts Anymore. 00:00:32,634 --> 00:00:34,300 For some reason, the millennials are not into the ta-tas, or the jugs, the knockers, the headlights, the honk-honks, the Smothers Brothers. I don't know what they're called these days. Anyway, this is really bad news for Hooters. It's terrible news for Dolly Parton. Really. 00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:52,180 According to the article, millennials are less interested in breasts than older people. So Hooters announced a plan for closing more stores. So they're going to put a giant bra around them and men won't be able to get them open. Because they can't-- 00:01:07,679 --> 00:01:09,220 I did some research, and it turns out Hooters has been having problems for a while. I made a chart of their business over the years. It really was up, down, and then up again. 00:01:24,342 --> 00:01:26,550 I thought if I leaned it would make the joke funnier. 00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:31,090 That's not a real chart. To be fair, Hooters says they've tried everything. Except for changing the waitresses' uniforms and making better food. But that's what they-- but this is just an idea. Maybe it is possible the guys could have their meals without a side of female objectification. Maybe. I don't know. Or maybe-- maybe women have more to offer than short shorts and jalapeno poppers.