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  • AVGN: It's been ten years since I first began broadcasting to you through the miracle of YouTube technology!

    奇跡的なYouTubeの技術を通し、みんなに向け配信を始めてから 既に10年の月日が流れた

  • And since then I've been trying to keep up with the times.


  • I just finished upgrading my vinyl record collection to cassettes,


  • and I got a new cell phone!


  • Check it out!


  • And I finally got one of those new rectangular TVs.


  • I've been reorganizing all my game consoles, new video switchers, working out all the bugs,

    繋げ直したゲーム機の再設定にスイッチャーの新調、 バグの修正、新しくした棚…

  • new shelves, I can now get behind my game consoles to reach all the wires,

    ゲーム機の裏に回って配線するのも 前よりずっと楽になったよ

  • and of course, the ability to play games in HD clarity!


  • Yeah, high def! Yeah...

    最高にガチ(High Def)だな! さて…

  • Now let's play some 8-bits.


  • He's gonna take you back to the past

    ヤツはクソなゲームを掘り返すため お前を過去へ連れて行く

  • to play the shitty games that suck ass

    バッファローの下痢を 耳に流し込んだほうがマシなのに

  • He'd rather have a buffalo

    轢かれて腐ったスカンクのケツ穴を ビールで飲み干すほうがマシなのに

  • take a diarrhea dump in his ear


  • He'd rather eat the rotten asshole


  • of a roadkilled skunk and down it with beer


  • He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard


  • He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd

    ズドーン!青いアーマーで走り回り、全てを撃て! これ以上のことなんてそうそう無いぜ!

  • He's the Angry Atari, Sega Nerd

    スーパーマンでも、ウルトラマンでもない… その名もカプコンのロックマンだ!

  • He's the Angry Video Game Nerd

    ライト博士に作られた彼は、悪のワイリー博士と その無尽蔵ともいえる敵のロボットたちと闘う!

  • BLAM!


  • Shootin' shit, runnin' around in your blue underwear!

    横スクロールアクションとしてはこの上ない完成度だ 『魂斗羅』や『メトロイド』とも似ているが、独自性もある

  • It doesn't get any better than this.


  • It ain't Superman or Ultraman, it's Capcom's Mega Man,


  • a robot hero built by Dr. Light to battle against the evil Dr. Wily and his never-ending supply of robot villains

    ゲーム界のルールの1つだ “足元を信じきってはいけない"

  • in the year two... whatever.

    最高傑作との声も多い『ロックマン2』は、 この手のゲームの理想型の1つとされている

  • The 2D gameplay is as classic as they come,

    格ゲーに革命を起こした『ストリートファイターII』のように、 誰もが知っている代表作と言ってもいい

  • with a little bit of Contra, a little Metroid, but still stands in its own right,

    「カプコンは“最高の2作目"を生み出した」 …とでも言うべきかな

  • with its stage select system and the ability to steal each of the boss characters' weapons.

    細かなこだわりも今作を魅力的にしている ロックマンの走り方もその1つだ

  • Oh, and can't forget about those disappearing blocks.

    見よ、この全力疾走を続ける姿を! 彼の頑固たる強い意志を!

  • One of the many rules of gaming: Never trust what's under your feet.

    だが、今作が白熱できるゲームなのは 他の部分の影響も大きい

  • Mega Man 2 is favored by many.

    ジャンプに空中ショット… 脳内麻薬が出まくる方程式の数々だ

  • It's considered to be one of the supreme examples of these types of sidescrolling action games.


  • It's the one everybody knows, just like another Capcom game, Street Fighter II,


  • which revolutionized the tournament fighter genre.

    一度手を休めて聞いてみると、 この上なくアツいBGMが流れてるのが分かるだろう

  • I guess you can say Capcom made the best number-twos.


  • It's the simple things that make it so appealing.

    1枚に21曲のヒットを収録したアルバムになったな 例えば…

  • For example, Mega Man's run cycle: He's constantly at full sprint,


  • you can see the determination, the pure gallantry!

    “店頭発売はしておりません 今すぐ注文だ!"

  • But that doesn't even graze upon why the gameplay is so addicting.

    ロックマンといえば当初は3部作だったが、 気付けば6部作までになっていやがった

  • The jumping, the mid-air shooting, it's a science that triggers a phenomenon in your brain.


  • It's so badass...

    1作品ごとに改良も加えられている 3ではスライディング、4ではロックバスターが登場した

  • [♪ Quickman Stage - Mega Man II ♪]


  • ... oh, sorry, I was just playing the game.


  • When you do catch yourself a break to stop and listen,


  • you'll realize you're hearing some of the most rockin' video game tunes of all time!


  • If only the idea of video game soundtrack albums caught on back then.


  • You'd get 21 hits in one fantastic collection, including:




  • And:

    キミー・ギブラーとウンコサラダマン… キリがないぜ





  • This offer is not available in stores, order today.

    「実は機械化されてて、組立ライン式に 続編を次々生産していた」とかでも違和感ないぞ

  • I remember when Mega Man was a trilogy,


  • but then it became a motherfuckin' hexology! Six classic 8-bit games on the NES!

    だが、新主人公“エックス”が登場した『ロックマンX』によって、 シリーズは再び新生することになる

  • With each installment there were upgrades: 3 added the slide, 4 added the Mega Buster,

    もし、お前がこのゲームの良作ぶりに ケツをふっ飛ばしつくされていないとすれば…

  • and of course each time they had to come up with more robot villain names:

    今頃タマが天王星の周回軌道に乗るくらいまで ぶっ飛ばされることになるぜ!!

  • Snake Man, Needle Man, Hard Man, Dust Man, Charge Man,

    『X3』は、カットシーンとセリフが大量に増えた …まあ良しとしよう

  • Tomahawk Man, Kimmy Gibbler Turd Salad Man, it wouldn't stop!


  • The series was impressively consistent.


  • There was a point where it seemed like the team behind making these games were not human.

    まあ、「次世代機の性能がどこまでやれるのか見せたい」 という気持ちはわかる

  • They were machines themselves, pounding out each sequel in an assembly line!


  • Sure, by the time 6 came along it got a little stale,

    確かに新鮮さや面白さを保つため、 こういったストーリー部分へ注力するのは納得だけどな

  • but it was rejuvenated with the Mega Man X series on Super Nintendo,


  • featuring a new Mega Man robot called X.


  • Man oh man, if the franchise's foot wasn't already so far up your ass from kickin' it,


  • now you were about to have your balls blown off 'til they orbit Uranus!


  • X3 had a lot of cutscenes and dialog boxes... but that's cool.


  • X4 is when they moved to the Playstation consoles, and now the cutscenes were getting a bit out of hand.


  • But with every new-generation console they want to show off the technical capabilities, I get it, that's okay.


  • But the dialogue... ugh!


  • But I can see how they're trying to keep the story an integral part of the experience,


  • to keep it fresh and interesting!

    やっと楽しくなり始めたと思ったら… こんな感じで腰を折ってきやがる!!

  • With X5, it starts right up with text.

    FUUUCK !!

  • You know... uh... yeah...


  • After a long introduction, the game starts, or... or...


  • [♪ Opening Stage X - Mega Man X5♪]

    どの画面内にも解除すべき爆弾があるが、 あまりに制限時間が短すぎる

  • ... okay, alright, we're off now!

    爆 発 !

  • And things are startin' t-- Oh my god!

    セ リ フ !

  • It's no joke, every five seconds there's more dialog!

    爆発とセリフ! 同時に!!

  • Can you see a red rope ahead of you... ?


  • I don't know... can I move?



    ”大丈夫か? 被害状況を知らせよ”

  • I was just startin' to have fun, and it goes to SHIIIT!


  • FUUCK!!

    もうクソゲーは十分だ! あまりに長期間の人生を捧げすぎたんだ!

  • Now everything's exploding!


  • I just started playing the game! Have fuckin' mercy!


  • Every screen there's a bomb you have to defuse, but they don't give you enough time to reach it!


  • Explosions, dialog...


  • Explosions AND dialog at the same time!

    「ペニスでコカイン吸ってる赤ん坊を抱いたヤギを 顔のタトゥーにしたいね!」

  • Oh my God!


  • [♪ Sigma 1st - Mega Man X5 ♪]


  • This is fuckin' horseshit...

    「Oh my God!!」

  • I've had enough shitty games! I've dedicated myself to this for too long!


  • I've had it!


  • I quit.


  • [♪ Ending (Nerd version)- Mega Man II ♪]


  • 2007 NERD: Like, I gotta get away from this game! I gotta get out of this room!


  • I gotta go out somewhere and do something wild!


  • Like get a tattoo on my face, of a goat holding up a baby, snorting cocaine off its penis!


  • 2007 NERD: And most important, celebrate your independence

    「本当に... ?」

  • not to play shitty fucking games!


  • Oh my God!


  • 2007 NERD: Who are you? 2016 NERD: I'm you!

    懐かしい配置だ、最初のNESはそのままだと ヨーロッパのゲームが遊べなかったんだよな

  • 2007 NERD: I can see that, how'd you get here? 2016 NERD: I don't know, but...


  • I remember this... yeah...


  • I don't know how else to say this, but I'm from the future.


  • There, I said it.


  • Really... ?


  • Do I get the goat tattoo?


  • Obviously not on your face.


  • Look at this old setup.


  • You know, with the original NES model you can't play European games.


  • You gotta get your RF shit modded into composite.


  • Still blowin' in your cartridges, you gotta get your--

    「なぜだ?クソゲーをレビューして 人々に“遊ぶな”と警告するのが俺…たちの使命だろ?」

  • Oh, whoa whoa whoa...


  • 2016 NERD: Why is that there? 2007 NERD: I don't know, it just sits there.


  • 2016 NERD: Get rid of it! 2007 NERD: Why?

    DOS版のロックマンだと!! これを味わえば辞める気になるだろうよ

  • 2016 NERD: You'll know by Episode 100! 2007 NERD: Episode wh-what?!


  • Oh yeah, trust me. Just quit, right now.


  • Wh- why? It's my du-- it's OUR duty to review bad games and warn people from playing this shit.


  • What's this here?


  • There's a Mega Man PC game on DOS?




  • This is something that'll make you wanna quit!


  • 2007 NERD: Okay, I'll give it a try.

    お前も知ってるだろうけど、 当時の最新型ならもっとマシな色合いのはずだろ

  • First of all, I can't get it to work on a controller.

    「忘れたのか? 俺たちはみんなを過去に連れて行くんだろ」

  • Even after installing all kinds of shit, Mega Man won't stop running to the left.

    「その昔、PCゲームはこういう色合いが 当たり前だった時代が存在した」

  • So I'm gonna have to use the keyboard.

    「なぜベイビーブルーとマゼンタの2つが基本色なのかは分からんが、 それが普通だったんだ」

  • Imagine playing a Mega Man game on a keyboard!


  • Where's the jump key... nngh! Argh!

    「どうして料金所がある? ロックマンも料金を払わないと通れないのかよ!?」

  • What's up with the colors? You have it set to CGA.


  • You know, if you were playing on the most up-to-date computers at the time, it would have looked much better.


  • Have you forgotten? We gotta bring people back to the past!


  • There was a time when it was common for computer games to look like this.


  • Why of all colors did they pick baby blue and magenta as the norm?


  • I don't know, but that's how it was! These are the colors of our childhood!

    じゃあ走れよ!走って逃げろ! 走れ!走れ!

  • Why is there a toll booth?


  • Mega Man can't pass without paying a toll?!


  • Does he have E-ZPass?


  • I can't outrun this dog!


  • Oh, get away! Get away!!


  • 2016 NERD: Shoot 'em! 2007 NERD: I can't get far enough away!


  • 2016 NERD: Then run! Just run! Run! Run!


  • 2007 NERD: I can't! He jumps so fuckin' far!


  • Eat a bowl of fuck, you assholian!


  • Uggh!!


  • It's the first screen of the game!


  • You can't get 'em off you! You can't outrun 'em, and if you do kill 'em, he respawns!


  • Well, I guess that's as far as we can get.

    「どのステージに入ろうが、敵はコウモリ、カエル、鉢、クモ、 あるいはネズミなんかしかいない」

  • Good! No more of that.

    「創造性あふれるロボットは登場せず、 小柄で弾が当たらない倒せない動物がひたすら出るぞ」

  • 2016 NERD: Oh, you did it! You gotta keep going now! 2007 NERD: Alright...

    「地面に向かって撃てないのに、 なぜ地べたを歩く敵ばかり出す?」

  • So after that you get the classic Mega Man stage select screen, with only three selections.

    「E缶もプレイヤーの癪に障るような ややこしい場所にばかり置かれているな」

  • No matter which stage you pick, you're always fighting bats, frogs, bees, spiders and rodents.

    「“左に行け”と言わんばかりに矢印も置かれてるが、 これで死ぬとバカみたいな気分になるぜ」

  • No creative robot enemies, nothing like that, just kill a bunch of animals!


  • And they're all too short to hit!


  • If you can't shoot on the ground, why are all the enemies on the ground?


  • Why are the E Tanks always in a puzzling spot?


  • As if the game was deliberately designed to tease you and piss you off!


  • They even put arrows telling you to move to the left.


  • So not only do you get to die, you get to feel like an idiot too.

    「けど、『ロックマン"3"』…? 『2』を飛ばしたのは俺じゃないぞ、開発者だ」

  • These things are like magnets, they pull you toward them.

    「PC版に『2』は作られなかったみたいだな 無視して『3』へ直行さ」

  • And you're trying to get through this electrical hazard at the same time!

    「おそらくNESで『3』が既に出ていたからだろうが、 中身は同じじゃない、全くの別物だ」

  • Did both these things have to exist in the same place?

    「『1』と比較すればステージ数も倍になっているし、 随分な進歩だ」

  • And then once the disappearing blocks start happening, it's all over.


  • Remember, I'm playing on a keyboard.

    「基本的にロックマンはジャンプや射撃の精度、 特殊武器の使用にやりがいを感じるものだ」

  • Fortunately, with the sequel, the controller works,


  • but... Mega Man 3?

    「いい“どこ行くんだクソが”系ゲームを遊びたい気分なら 『ロックマン3』のDOS版がおすすめだぜ」

  • No, I didn't skip 2. They did.


  • There was no Mega Man 2 for PC, they jumped straight to 3,


  • probably because the real Mega Man 3 on NES was already out.


  • That would have made sense if this were the same game, but it's totally different.


  • You can say it's a big step up from the first DOS game, with twice as many stages,


  • but for some reason they decided to make the stages as confusing as possible.

    「誰がこんなクズで遊びたいんだ? 俺以外に1人でもいるってなら万々歳だぜ!」

  • Typically in the Mega Man games, the challenge is in your platform jumping,


  • your combat strategy and knowing when to use your special items.

    「マジ最悪!」 「ゴミクズ同然だ!」

  • But this is all about navigating a maze.

    「なんなんだこれ…」 「下痢ゲーだなこりゃ」

  • If you want a good where-the-fuck-do-I-go kinda game, try Mega Man 3 DOS.

    「なあ、待て!ここは夢の中だから何しようと勝手だ だからもうプレイを中止しようぜ」

  • Ugh!


  • See? This shit is a waste of life!


  • You don't believe me? Play some of those awful Simpsons games!


  • I think I will! And you know what, Nerd?


  • You should play more of those bad Mega Man games.

    「全く―」 全くクソッタレの超最低な汚物ゲームだったぜ!!!

  • Nerd?

    「何だって?」 「どうなってやがる?」

  • 2006 NERD: Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person!

    「ありえねえ!」 「誰だこいつ呼んだの?」

  • I have a better chance of cloning myself!

    奇妙だとは思うが、俺はどうやら"AVGN史"を タイムトラベルしているみたいなんだ

  • NERD 1: So fuckin' bad it sucks! NERD 3: This is fuckin' shit!


  • NERD 1: It's so suckin' fuck... NERD 3: It's diarrhea shit! This game is horrible!


  • NERD 3: What a piece of fuckin' shit. NERD 1: Hey, wait... wait, wait!


  • I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playing this fuckin' game?

    「"Audio Video Graphic Network"かな?」

  • NERD 2: Yeah! NERD 1: So the hell with that shit!

    「"A VaGiNa(女性器)"だろ」

  • NERD 4: Yeah! The hell with that damn shit!


  • NERD 3: The hell with that damn fuckin' shit! NERD 2: The h-




  • NERD 2: Wh- what?? NERD 3: Nobody tells me what's goin' on here!

    「ややこしいわけがないね 夢の中にタイムスリップ?よくありそうなことで!」

  • NERD 4: I can't fuckin' believe this! NERD 3: Who invited this asshole?!


  • Look, I know this sounds weird, but I've sort of been time-travelling around through AVGN history.


  • Yeah, that's weird. We've never seen anything weird before.

    この後フレディが皆殺しにしようと襲ってくるとか、 色々伝えたい事はあるが…

  • NERD 4: What's AVGN? NERD 3: Audio-Video Graphic Network!


  • A VaGiNa.

    PlayStationの『ロックマンDASH 鋼の冒険心』だ

  • NERD 3: So what time did you come from? 2016 AVGN: From ten years into the future.

    「プレステ…? 俺たちはファミコンオタクだぜ?」

  • That's nice. Could you have picked a more confusing time to show up?


  • Not confusing at all! Time-travelling back into a dream?

    「"Angry Nintendo Commentator"なんてどうだ?」

  • That happens all the time! Makes perfect fuckin' sense!

    「"Retro Nostalgic Video Gaming Shit Seeker"はどうよ?」

  • Relax.

    「"Nostalgia Critic"とか良くね?」

  • Alright now, look, I could tell you that Freddy's around the corner and he's waiting to kill all'ya,


  • but I'm gonna show you how much worse things could get.

    「"Angry Video Game Nerd"はどうかな」

  • Here is Mega Man Legends on PlayStation.

    「いいんじゃない?」 「いいと思うよ」

  • PlayStation? We're the Angry Nintendo Nerd!

    「ロックマンシリーズが3Dへの躍進を果たしたのが この『ロックマンDASH』だ」

  • Then change the fuckin' name! It's about time.

    「90年代後半は、『2Dゲームは3D化しろ』という法律でも 作られたかのような状況だった」

  • How about Angry Nintendo Commentator?


  • NERD 3: How about Retro Nostalgic Video Gaming Shit Seeker?

    "ちょっと待って!" 「ああ...またセリフかよ」

  • NERD 4: How about Nostalgia Critic?


  • Now that's fuckin' stupid.


  • How about Angry Video Game Nerd?


  • NERD 4: Yeah, that's good. NERD 3: I agree with that!


  • Mega Man Legends was when the series made the jump to three dimensions.


  • In the late nineties it was almost like a law: Every 2D franchise must try 3D.


  • So the game begins, and...


  • Ugh... that explains it all.


  • Don't you think I can see?!


  • Don't worry, I CAN'T move! Every time I try it's another text box!


  • Oh, what, that thing in front of me?


  • Not far from my current position?


  • Use the Circle button?! Really?! I would've never thought of that!

    「『スーパーマリオ64』や『ゼルダの伝説 時のオカリナ』の 自然な操作性を覚えているか?」

  • That's not at all what I was just about to do!

    「ジョイスティックを行きたい向きに傾けたら、 完璧に反応してくれたよな」

  • The control is horrific.


  • You know how in Mario 64 and Zelda: Ocarina of Time, how natural the controls feel?


  • You push the joystick in the direction you wanna go, and it responds perfectly!


  • In Mega Man Legends,