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  • Girl: SOME FAIRY TALES ARE TRUE.

  • MOST OTHER STORIES WE MAKE UP TO HELP US DEAL WITH REAL LIFE.

  • IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW,

  • BUT HERE ARE THE FACTS.

  • THERE WAS ONCE A PRINCESS WHO LIVED IN A CASTLE

  • HIGH ABOVE THE STREETS OF AN ENCHANTED KINGDOM.

  • THE KING AND QUEEN WERE LONG GONE,

  • BUT THEY LEFT HER WITH THEIR TREASURE

  • SO THAT SHE COULD STAY A PRINCESS FOREVER.

  • ON THE EVE OF HER 22nd BIRTHDAY,

  • A GREAT CELEBRATION WAS PLANNED.

  • ( phone rings )

  • Woman: MOLLY'S MACHINE. SPEAK YOUR PIECE. ( beep )

  • Woman: OH , BIRTHDAY GIRL, PICK UP, PICK UP, PICK UP.

  • HUEY AND I ARE JUST SITTING HERE WAITING.

  • YOU BETTER BE ON YOUR WAY, MOLLY.

  • Man: MONEY DOWN SHE'S STILL ASLEEP.

  • MOLLY, WAKE UP!

  • ( click, phone rings )

  • MOLLY'S MACHINE. SPEAK YOUR PIECE.

  • Man: HE Y, MOLLY, IT'S JUSTIN HERE.

  • CALLIN' FROM THE STUDIO TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

  • GIVE ME FIVE MORE MINUTES, BABY, AND I'LL ROCK YOUR WORLD.

  • LOVE YA!

  • ( alarm rings )

  • ( gasps )

  • IT'S A CHARMED LIFE

  • INNOCENCE WILD

  • CRAYOLA SKIES FOR A THOUSAND MILES

  • IT'S A CHARMED LIFE

  • UNEXPLAINABLE GRACE

  • STUMBLE AND YOU FALL RIGHT INTO PLACE

  • IT'S A CHILDLIKE WORLD

  • AND YOU CAN FEEL THE MAGIC

  • THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF A CHARMED LIFE

  • WHO NEEDS TO KNOW

  • WHEN IT ALL COMES AND WHERE IT ALL GOES

  • WHO NEEDS TO KNOW

  • JUST WHERE

  • FATE WILL TAKE YOU THERE

  • IT'S A CHARMED LIFE

  • INNOCENCE WILD

  • CRAYOLA SKIES FOR A THOUSAND MILES... ♪

  • YOU CAN'T TURN THE HALLWAY INTO A GREENHOUSE, MISS GUNN.

  • GOOD EVENING, MR. McCONKEY.

  • PLEASE SAY HELLO TO YOUR WIFE FOR ME.

  • BYE. HAVE A NICE NIGHT!

  • I'VE ALERTED THE MANAGEMENT COMPANY ABOUT THIS.

  • OH, MY.

  • I PUT THE FLOWERS UPSTAIRS FOR YOU, MOLLY,

  • -BUT THIS IS OUT OF HAND. -GOT A GIRL, TONY?

  • NOT ONE COULD FIT INTO THIS DENTAL FLOSS.

  • BE A DARLING AND SEND ALL THIS STUFF TO THE SALVATION ARMY!

  • YOU'RE THE GREATEST, TONY!

  • ( horns honk, tires screech )

  • ( Molly whistles )

  • IT'S A CHARMED LIFE

  • INNOCENCE WILD

  • CRAYOLA SKIES FOR A THOUSAND MILES... ♪

  • ( cell phone rings )

  • -MOLLY? -HEY, INGRID, IT'S M.

  • -WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? -I'M SORRY, I PASSED OU.

  • -I WAS WATCHING TV-- -THAT WAS A PREMEDITATED NAP.

  • YOU DID THIS TO ME ON PURPOSE.

  • YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.

  • HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK A THING LIKE THIS?

  • IT'S LIKE STABBING ME IN THE HEART.

  • I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU THIS,

  • BUT OUR LITTLE NIGHT OUT HAS GROWN A BIT.

  • HUEY AND I ARE HERE WITH

  • A FEW OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS WAITING TO WISH YOU A--

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY?

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  • All: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  • I THOUGHT YOU WERE CALLING FROM HOME!

  • THE GIRLY TO END ALL GIRLIES IS IN THE HOUSE.

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOLLY.

  • WE GOT YOU, DIDN'T WE?

  • YES, YOU DID. I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE JUST US GUYS.

  • WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS YOU THINK WE ARE?

  • LOOK AT THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS HERE IS A PARTY, RIGHT?

  • ( all cheer )

  • YOU'RE 22?

  • I JUST TURNED 19 AND I THOUGHT I'D KILL MYSELF.

  • YOU LOOK GOOD, MAN. BUY YOU A DRINK?

  • NO, THANKS.

  • Huey: I WANNA CONNECT THE DOTS, BABY.

  • LOOK AT THE BABES, MOLLY.

  • THERE'S, LIKE, BEAUTIFUL AND NATURAL AND SEXY, RIGHT?

  • BEAUTY LIKE THAT IS UNIVERSAL.

  • THEY REALLY DO LOOK YOUNG, HUH?

  • THE THING I LOVE ABOUT WOMEN IS THAT YOU ARE WILLING

  • TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER FOR WHO YOU ARE!

  • THERE YOU ARE, SWEETIE.

  • YOU REMEMBER JULIE AND HOLLY FROM THE M.O.M.A. JUNIOR COMMITTEE?

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  • I LOVE YOUR SOLID HAIR SCRUNCHY.

  • ISSEY MIYAKE?

  • HOME DEPOT.

  • YOU KNOW,

  • YOU CAN GET BOTOX INJECTIONS FOR THAT FOREHEAD WRINKLE.

  • FACE FACTORY. NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY.

  • WHY WOULD I HAVE A WORRY WRINKLE?

  • Girl: WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANYONE WOULD CARE?

  • EXCUSE ME?

  • I HAD SHOES LIKE YOURS ONCE... WHEN I WAS FIVE.

  • ( toilet flushes )

  • AND THAT WAS WHAT, LIKE THREE DAYS AGO?

  • TRY THREE YEARS.

  • EXCUSE ME, THUMBELINA,

  • BUT YOU'RE STILL A LITTLE UNDERAGE

  • TO BE GOING OUT CLUBBING, AREN'T YOU?

  • YOU'RE A LITTLE OVERAGE TO BE WEARING A LAMPSHADE IN YOUR HAIR.

  • BRIGHT IDEA?

  • YOU BROUGHT YOUR OWN PERSONAL SOAP?

  • HEY, YOU WANT TO PICK UP BACTERIAL MENINGITIS OR POLIO,

  • YOU GO AHEAD AND BE MY GUEST.

  • WHATEVER DISEASES YOU'RE ALREADY CARRYING

  • PROBABLY MAKE THOSE SOUND LIKE A JOKE.

  • Huey: THERE YOU ARE.

  • FINALLY FOUND YOUR LITTLE MONSTER BUTT.

  • COME HERE!

  • I KNOW YOU HAVE TROUBLE READING SOMETHING AS SIMPLE

  • AS A SIGN ON THE DOOR, GOOEY HUEY, SO LET ME HELP YOU.

  • THIS IS THE LADIES' ROOM.

  • REALLY? WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

  • -GIVE ME MY PURSE! -IT'S MY BOSS'S KID.

  • THEY CAN'T KEEP A NANNY.

  • THEY FIRED THEIR THIRD ONE THIS MONTH TODAY.

  • SHE HAD DIRTY FINGERNAILS. IT WAS HER OR ME.

  • -OW! THAT HURTS! -WHERE'S MY PURSE?!

  • IT'S IN MY HAND!

  • ING, AM I HIDEOUS?

  • WHAT?

  • AS MY BEST FRIEND, IT IS YOUR DUTY NOT TO LIE TO ME.

  • PLEASE TELL ME-- AM I TURNING INTO A HIDEOUS HAG?

  • YOU CAN HAVE ANY GUY HERE WITH THE SNAP OF A FINGER.

  • WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?

  • ( electric guitar feeds back )

  • ( strums chords )

  • OH...MY...GOD.

  • Huey: MOLLY, LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. C'MERE.

  • SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

  • OH, GREAT. YOU AGAIN.

  • Guitarist: I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR HAVING ME HERE.

  • I'VE HEARD THERE'S A BIRTHDAY HERE TONIGHT.

  • WHERE'S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL?

  • ( cheers and applause )

  • ALL RIGHT. THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

  • THE LIGHTS BEAM DOWN FROM THE STARS

  • AND IT TAKES MY BREATH AWAY

  • AND THE TEARS OF GLEE IN MY HEART

  • END UP VOICING WORDS TO SAY

  • ALL I FEEL IS INVESTED IN THIS... ♪

  • OH, MY GOD. WHO IS THAT?

  • THAT'S MY BOY NEAL FOX.

  • I FOUND HIM PLAYING AT A DIVE IN THE VILLAGE.

  • HE'S SMOKIN'.

  • CAN I HAVE HIM FOR MY BIRTHDAY?

  • NO, MOLLY, I BROUGHT HIM HERE SO ROMA COULD CHECK HIM OUT.

  • BESIDES, HE'S 100% GIRLY-FREE.

  • HE'S CELIBATE, LIKE MORRISSEY. HE'S ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC.

  • YOU WOULDN'T KNOW REAL MUSIC IF MOZART HIT YOU ON THE HEAD.

  • QUIET, THE BOTH OF YOU.

  • QUIET? THIS PLACE IS SO LOUD,

  • IT IS GIVING ME A MIGRAINE.

  • ♪ ...CALL OF LOVE

  • THEN SHE'LL RISE WITH LOVE... ♪

  • -MOM! -NO, NO!

  • YOUR MOM'S OVER THERE TALKIN' TO MY MAN NAS.

  • WE BEEN TRYIN' TO SIGN HIM FOR MONTHS.

  • COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN?

  • MOM, I WANNA GO HOME NOW!

  • OOH, OOH-OOH, OOH

  • LIE, LIE, LIE

  • -NIGHT, MOLLS. -BYE.

  • HEY, MOLLY, I JUST, UM, FINISHED MY NEW RECORD,

  • -AND I WAS HOPING YOU WANTED TO COME BACK -THAT'S GREAT, DUNCAN.

  • -AND GIVE ME YOUR TWO CENTS'-- -WHERE IS SHE?

  • HUEY SAID THIS GUY'S PRACTICALLY A MONK.

  • WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?

  • THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE EVEN LOOKING AT THIS GUY

  • IS BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM.

  • HE'S A ROCK 'N' ROLL POET SEX GOD.

  • YOU'LL TOSS HIM IN A WEEK.

  • NO, ING, THIS ONE'S DIFFERENT.

  • I CAN FEEL IT.

  • MY MAN, THAT WAS GOOD.

  • KID, I HAVEN'T HEARD BLUE-EYED SOUL LIKE THAT

  • SINCE JEFF BUCKLEY'S RECORD.

  • SEE WHAT I'M SAYIN'?

  • WHAT DID I TELL YOU, ROMA? HE'S SMOKIN', RIGHT?

  • -YOU DID GOOD, HUEY. -I NEED EIGHT HOURS, MOM.

  • IF I DON'T GET EIGHT HOURS, MY IMMUNE SYSTEM CRASHES.

  • RECORD A DEMO, SOMETHING MORE UP-TEMPO.

  • SOMETHING I CAN GET ON THE RADIO.

  • -LET'S GO! LET'S GO! -WORK IT OUT WITH HUEY.

  • LET'S GO! GO! GO!

  • THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.

  • SHE GETS IT. I GET IT. YOU DON'T GET IT.

  • -WAIT, WAIT, WAIT-- -NEAL, YOU NEED TO GET IT.

  • Girl: I THINK WE GOT OURSELVES A GRAMMY!

  • I SWEAR TO GOD, I HATE THAT--

  • KIDS--ALWAYS HOGGING YOUR ATTENTION.

  • -HI. -HI.

  • BIRTHDAY GIRL.

  • OH! YEAH, YEAH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

  • IS THIS DEMO THING FOR REAL?

  • SHE'S ABOUT TO SIGN YOU! I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES.

  • ROCKET TO THE MOON, BABY! ROCKET TO THE MOON!

  • OH, MY.

  • ARE YOU REALLY TOMMY GUNN'S DAUGHTER?

  • SERIOUSLY.

  • CAN YOU HOLD MY PURSE, PLEASE?

  • YEAH. THANKS.

  • JESUS!

  • WELL, I GUESS THERE IS A CERTAIN FAMILY RESEMBLANCE.

  • ALL HIS GUITARS ARE IN THERE?

  • YEAH, YOU WANNA COME SEE FOR YOURSELF? YEAH.

  • UH...

  • CAN YOU JUST WAIT HERE JUST ONE SECOND, PLEASE?

  • THANK YOU. YEAH.

  • RIGHT.

  • WELCOME TO LE CHA11TEAU CHEZ MO LLY.

  • ( whistles )

  • HMM. NICE.

  • JESUS! ( pig grunting )

  • WHAT ON GOD'S EARTH IS THAT?

  • MU. DON'T YOU MEAN OINK?

  • NO, \"MU\" MEANS \"PORK\" IN THAI.

  • HE WAS GOING TO BE MY CURRY DINNER ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK,

  • BUT WE FELL IN LOVE.

  • NOW, IF YOU WAIT HERE,

  • I WILL FIX US SOME BONBONNIE33RES CONFISERIES.

  • Neal: OH...MY...GOD.

  • LOOKS LIKE YOU FOUND IT ON YOUR OWN.

  • I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

  • THIS IS IT.

  • THIS IS THE ACOUSTIC MUDDY WATERS GAVE TOMMY GUNN.

  • HE PLAYED IT AT BUDOKAN. SUMMER OF '88.

  • DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL

  • THAT'S YOU.

  • PAINTS THE WORLD WITH HER MAGIC WAND

  • PLEASE DON'T SING THAT SONG.

  • C'MON, MOLLY SMILES. HE OPENED THE SHOW WITH IT.

  • FOR ME

  • AND THEN HE AND MY MOM DIED.

  • LISTEN, I DIDN'T MEAN TO--

  • OKAY. YEAH.

  • UM...

  • SO WHAT'S NEXT?

  • WELL, UM...

  • HOW ABOUT DESSERT?

  • AM I GONNA BE ABLE TO PRONOUNCE IT?

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • CAN YOU SAY...

  • \"PEZ\"?

  • I'M JUST NOT SUPPOSED TO ACT IMPULSIVELY, YOU KNOW?

  • PART OF MY WHOLE SOBRIETY THING.

  • MADE A VOW, HAVEN'T BROKEN IT YET.

  • PEZ.

  • I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK IN 224 DAYS.

  • I'M ALSO NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

  • IN MY FIRST YEAR.

  • PEZ.

  • IT'S CALLED THE LAW OF CONTRARY BEHAVIOR.

  • IF I WANT A DRINK, I DON'T HAVE ONE.

  • IF I WANT TO SKIP A GIG, I FORCE MYSELF TO GO.