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  • Hello I'm Emma from mmmEnglish!

  • Today I want to introduce my friend, Mark.

  • He is a

  • relationship expert, dating coach, life coach

  • and we've been hanging out a little bit lately because

  • Mark has a Youtube channel as well

  • where he - you help primarily

  • women in relationships

  • and in difficult sort-of periods of their life

  • to improve relationships with the people around them,

  • right? Tell us a bit about what you do.

  • Exactly, exactly.

  • So I'm a life, dating and relationship coach

  • from here in Australia.

  • I met Emma at a Sydney event and just

  • loveliest, lovely woman.

  • And my channel is about empowering women

  • through growth, self-esteem and authenticity.

  • And basically by that

  • - what does that mean, 'authenticity'?

  • What does that mean?

  • Yeah so it just means about being real.

  • Being yourself.

  • So this is talking about the adjective 'authentic' as well.

  • So 'authenticity' is related to the adjective 'authentic'

  • which just means real. So talking about relationships

  • and particularly between women and their partners,

  • making them real and meaningful and honest, right?

  • Yes exactly. Honest, open.

  • Vulnerable and connecting.

  • Oh my gosh so many good words there!

  • We're going to pop some of the definitions of those

  • in the description box below this video.

  • But today, since you're a dating expert,

  • a relationship expert,

  • I wanted to talk to you about some of the phrasal verbs

  • and the idioms that we use in English to talk about

  • love and relationships.

  • So I want to be able to show my audience

  • you know, some really common language

  • and expressions that they can use to talk about love.

  • Sounds fantastic, I love it!

  • So the first thing that I thought that I'd introduce is

  • three phrasal verbs that are really common.

  • Okay, so that would be 'hang out'

  • 'catch up'

  • and 'hook up'

  • So all of these phrasal verbs

  • can be used to talk about relationships in some way.

  • I want you to tell me

  • what's the difference between them,

  • when would we use them?

  • Yeah.

  • So 'hang out',

  • 'catch up'

  • and 'hook up'

  • they can mean quite different things.

  • 'hang out'

  • is a casual request to see you.

  • So it's a very basic request. I say

  • "Emma, I want to hang out with you."

  • That literally just means I'd like to see Emma

  • and spend some time with you,

  • spend some time with her.

  • So that could be a romantic relationship or it could be

  • just with friends, right?

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah and you have to know the context,

  • like if a man that you meet, say on Tinder,

  • on a dating app,

  • says "hang out"

  • it could - it's likely to be more a relationship context.

  • Whereas me and Emma are friends,

  • we're hanging out now!

  • So 'hang out' can be either

  • it basically means spend some time together,

  • let's see each other.

  • Okay so what about 'catch up'?

  • 'catch up' is generally

  • saved for people you already know.

  • So if I don't see Emma for a month,

  • instead of saying "Let's hang out",

  • I'd probably say "Let's catch up"

  • So it's a similar term and it's usually used

  • with someone that you already knew previously.

  • The majority of the time

  • that someone say "Let's catch up"

  • they're saying

  • "I want to reconnect with you after a period of time."

  • Right.

  • And again, it could be friends

  • or it could be a relationship.

  • But friends can also catch up, right?

  • I can catch up with friends for coffee anytime I like!

  • Exactly.

  • And because you already know your friends,

  • you generally say "catch up" more than "hang out"

  • Well the other thing is if you haven't

  • seen someone for a while,

  • then 'catch up' is a really common phrasal verb as well

  • that you'd use to say "Did you know, we haven't

  • seen each other for ages, we should catch up!"

  • So what about 'hook up'?

  • So 'hook up' is used in a romantic context.

  • You wouldn't hook up with your friend.

  • You wouldn't hook up with your friend

  • unless you wanted to get romantic with your friend.

  • Which might get awkward!

  • So 'hook up' - is often - it can refer to any number of

  • romantic encounters.

  • It could be "I hooked up with him at a bar"

  • which usually means "I kissed him" at a bar.

  • Yeah usually it means kissing, right?

  • If your friend says to you "I hooked up with him"

  • sometimes it can be just kissing,

  • sometimes it can be more than that.

  • And also,

  • 'hook up', it doesn't refer to

  • a relationship that is ongoing. It's like a one-off. Isn't it?

  • No. That's an important point. Yeah.

  • It's a casual, so a 'hook up' is a casual term.

  • Nothing is serious, at least not yet,

  • in the person's mind describing it.

  • If I say "I hooked up with someone",

  • it was a casual one-time encounter,

  • it's not to say I might not see them again,

  • in my mind right now, it's casual.

  • That's quite interesting because a lot of my audience,

  • you know the concept of like a casual hook up

  • doesn't exist for them in their cultures,

  • you know, it's not part of what they do.

  • So if that's the case for you,

  • then 'hook up' is probably not really

  • language that is really relevant.

  • It's only, you know, quick, informal,

  • non-serious relationships, right?

  • Yeah, exactly. Nailed it.

  • So one other aspect that I want to talk to you about

  • is the way that we use the verb 'fall'

  • in expressions about love,

  • because we say

  • "fall in love"

  • and we say

  • "fall for someone"

  • What does that sort of mean?

  • Why are we using that expression?

  • It's really about - you were saying before we chatted -

  • it's literally about falling

  • is where the phrase originally came from.

  • And it's about losing control of your feelings.

  • And losing control of things, so if I say

  • "I fall for you", it means

  • without my control,

  • without wanting to,

  • I'm just falling.

  • So when you say "fall for someone",

  • it's generally a bit more casual,

  • than "falling in love"

  • Yes.

  • When you fall for someone,

  • that could be after a few days,

  • "I'm really falling for her.

  • I've been on four dates with her.

  • I'm really falling for her."

  • And often used with 'starting' - "starting to fall"

  • Yeah.

  • So it's often right at that initial period in a relationship.

  • "I'm starting to get a lot of feelings."

  • Yep.

  • "I'm falling for her. She's amazing."

  • It's a good thing to be falling for someone or to be

  • falling in love, it's a really, really positive

  • way of talking about a relationship.

  • Yeah exactly and the next "falling in love"

  • comes along a bit later when things are more serious

  • and you've really got to know the person,

  • you form those deep bonds,

  • say "I'm falling in love with him" or even

  • "I've fallen in love with him"

  • Right, so we're changing tense there.

  • "I fell-" I actually said that wrong!

  • "I fell in love with him"

  • "I fell in love with him" in the past, yeah but no,

  • "I have fallen in love"

  • That tense, the perfect tense,

  • is the correct one to use then,

  • because it's an action that started in the past,

  • and is still relevant in the present.

  • If you said "I fell in love with that person",

  • by using the past tense,

  • it's sort of suggesting that maybe

  • it's an action that's finished in the past, so if you're

  • still in love with that person, then using

  • the perfect tense is right.

  • "I have fallen.."

  • Yeah. "I fell in love"

  • kind of means I'm not in love anymore.

  • Yeah or it was something that happened in the past.

  • Ages ago. Yeah.

  • Yep.

  • Good pick-up.

  • See why you're good at what you do?

  • Okay so,

  • once you've fallen in love, things have sort of

  • got pretty serious, right?

  • Yes.

  • So around the time when things start getting serious

  • in a relationship, we're talking about

  • engagements and marriages, right?

  • Yeah.

  • Expressions like

  • "pop the question"

  • so, if you heard someone say

  • "He popped the question."

  • You might be thinking 'What question, what's it about?'

  • What are they talking about, Mark?

  • So 'popping the question'

  • is just a common colloquial term

  • to getting down on one knee,

  • and asking for a hand in marriage.

  • So usually it's the man.

  • And you'll often hear at maybe a family event,

  • the people will be talking with each other,

  • and they will say - often to the woman -

  • "When is he going to pop the question?"

  • That's it. That's the question.

  • Or "Oh my god, when did he pop the question?"

  • Or maybe "How did he pop the question?"

  • Or "It's about time he popped the question."

  • Good one. Yeah.

  • So it's all about asking

  • basically that person for marriage.

  • Yep.

  • Popping the question.

  • So "the question",

  • by 'the' is making it

  • the only important question in the world

  • "the question" is about marriage.

  • "Will you marry me?"

  • Okay and yeah for some reason,

  • we use the verb 'pop' in that expression,

  • "to pop the question".

  • Then we say "Okay, so he's popped the question,

  • when are you going to tie the knot?"

  • So "tie the knot" literally means get married.

  • Walk down the aisle, as it were,

  • and then you tie the knot and have your wedding.

  • Do you know,

  • where that expression came from was because

  • - It's this thing, right?

  • Yep, or I thought it was a piece of string

  • that usually before, you know,

  • it was gold and it was silver, the string

  • around the finger symbolised the promise.

  • Really? Okay I thought that you cross your arms

  • and they do that thing

  • where they put that silk

  • I think that's an extension of it, it's the same kind of idea

  • so it's about tying some material or some string

  • to connect two people together.

  • That's beautiful.

  • Nice!

  • Okay so, tying the knot

  • is lovely. Then hopefully there is a really happy

  • marriage and relationship forever.

  • But we know that that's