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  • This is where your ice cream comes from-- the creamy poop of a mystic unicorn. Totally

  • clean, totally cool, and soft-served straight from a sphincter.

  • Mmm. They're good at pooping. But you know who sucks at pooping? You do.

  • That's 'cause when you sit on the porcelain throne, this muscle put a kink in the hose

  • and stops the Ben & Jerry's from sliding out smoothly.

  • Is that a problem? I don't know, are hemorrhoids a problem? 'Cause sitting at this angle can

  • cause hemorrhoids, bloating, constipation, and a buttload of other crap.

  • And seriously, unicorn hemorrhoids? - The glitter gets everywhere.

  • But what happens when you go from a sit to a squat?

  • Voila-- the muscle relaxes and that kink goes away faster than Pegasus laying a sweet sherbet

  • dookie. Now your colon's open and ready for battle.

  • That's 'cause our bodies were made to poop in a squat. And now there's a product that

  • lets you squat in your own home.

  • Introducing the Squatty Potty.

  • No, it's not a joke. And yes, it will give you the best poop of your life, guaranteed.

  • I don't just mean you bloated lords and hemorrhoidal ladies -- I mean everyone.

  • Kink Unkink. Kink, unkink. It's simple science really.

  • Can't get the last scoop out of the carton?

  • With the Squatty Potty you get complete elimination.

  • Spend too much time on the chamber pot?

  • Squatty Potty makes you go twice as fast, or your money back.

  • I scream, you scream, and plop plop, baby.

  • Maybe you're sore from squeezing out solid globs of rocky road.

  • The Squatty Potty gives you a smooth stream of froyo that glides like a virgin swan.

  • Plus when you're done, it tucks neatly out of sight, thanks to its innovative patented

  • design. Truly a footstool fit for a constipated king!

  • So if you're a human being who poops from your butt, click here to order your Squatty

  • Potty today at SquattyPotty.com. You'll wish you tried it years ago.

  • And if you don't trust a prince, how about your Doctor? Shark Tank? HuffPost? NPR? Men's

  • Health? Howard Stern?--He poops from his butt.

  • They're all crazy about the Squatty Potty. Not to mention the 2,000 Amazon users who

  • gave the Squatty Potty 5 stars, including the author of this moving haiku:

  • Oh Squatty Potty

  • You fill me with endless joy

  • Yet leave me empty.”

  • So order your Squatty Potty today. I'm not saying it will make your poop as soft as this

  • cookies'n'cream. But I'm not saying it won't.

  • Squatty Potty. The stool for better stools.

  • Pooping will never be the same

  • And neither will ice cream.

  • One for you, very good. How does it taste, is that delicious?

  • Is that the best thing you have ever had in your life?

  • There you are.

This is where your ice cream comes from-- the creamy poop of a mystic unicorn. Totally

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This Unicorn Changed the Way I Poop - #SquattyPotty

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    April Lu   に公開 2018 年 05 月 03 日
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