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  • Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

    翻訳: Moe Shoji 校正: Masaki Yanagishita

  • To kick the bucket,


  • bite the dust,


  • cash in your chips,


  • check out, depart, expire,

    「チェックアウトする」 「旅立つ」「期限を過ぎる」

  • launch into eternity ...


  • These are all euphemisms we use in humor


  • to describe the one life event we are all going to experience:

    誰もが経験する ある人生の出来事を表すものです

  • death.


  • But most of us don't want to acknowledge death,

    しかし 私たちの多くは 死の存在を認めたり

  • we don't want to plan for it,


  • and we don't want to discuss it with the most important people in our lives.

    人生における大切な人たちと 死について語ろうとはしません

  • I grew up in an Australian community where people got old or sick

    私が育ったオーストラリアのコミュニティでは 老化や病気のせいで

  • and passed away,


  • and only the adults attended the funeral.


  • My parents would come home looking sad and drained,

    葬儀から帰った両親は 悲しみに打ちひしがれつつも

  • but they didn't discuss it with us.


  • So I was ignorant to death and of the grieving process.

    それで 私は死や悼む過程を 知らずに育ちました

  • At 15, I got my invitation.

    15歳の時 招待を受けました

  • A dear neighbor who was like an aunt to me

    おばのような存在だった 大切なご近所さんが

  • died suddenly of a heart attack,


  • and I attended my first funeral and did my first reading.

    私は初めて参列した葬儀で 弔辞を読みました

  • I didn't know the tightness in my chest and the dryness in my mouth was normal.

    胸が締め付けられ 口が渇くのが 普通だとは知りませんでした

  • The celebrant got some of the facts wrong, and it made me really angry.

    葬儀の司会者がいくつか間違ったことを言い ひどく怒りを覚えました

  • He talked about how she loved knitting.

    「故人は編み物が好きだった」と 言ったのです

  • Knitting.


  • (Laughter)


  • He didn't mention that, at 75, she still mowed her own lawn,

    司会者は言いませんでしたが 75歳で彼女は自分で庭の芝を刈り

  • built an amazing fish pond in her front yard


  • and made her own ginger beer.


  • I'm pretty sure "keen knitter"


  • isn't what she would have chosen for her eulogy.

    弔辞に使ってほしくは なかったでしょう

  • (Laughter)


  • I believe if we discuss death as part of day-to-day living,

    「死」について語ることが 日常的な事柄になれば

  • we give ourselves the opportunity to reflect on our core values,

    自分の価値観の核心に 思いを巡らす機会となり

  • share them with our loved ones,

    それを大切な人たちと 共有することができ

  • and then our survivors can make informed decisions

    故人の遺志を踏みにじるのではと 恐れることなく

  • without fear or regret of having failed to honor our legacy.

    残された人たちが きちんと判断できるでしょう

  • I am blessed to lead a wonderful, culturally diverse team,

    私は幸運にも 素晴らしく 文化的に多様なチームを率いており

  • and in the last 12 months,


  • we've lost five parents,


  • including my own father,


  • and most recently, a former colleague who died at 41 from bowel cancer.

    最近では かつての同僚が 41歳で大腸がんで亡くなりました

  • We started having open and frank conversations


  • about what we were experiencing.


  • We talked about the practical stuff,


  • the stuff no one prepares you for:


  • dealing with government agencies,


  • hospitals, nursing homes,


  • advanced care directives,


  • funeral directors


  • and extended family members,


  • (Laughter)


  • making decisions about coffins,

    棺をはじめ 選ぶこともたくさんあります

  • headstones,


  • headstone wording,


  • headstone font size,


  • all while sleep-deprived.


  • We also discussed some of the issues


  • triggered by our various cultural backgrounds,

    引き起こされる問題についても 議論しました

  • and we realized there can be some significant differences

    大切な人の弔い方が いかに異なりうるかに

  • in how we honor the passing of a loved one.


  • A great example of this is "Sorry Business,"

    これの良い例は 「ソーリー・ビジネス」という

  • practiced by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

    アボリジニや トーレス海峡の島民の行うものです

  • During Sorry Business,


  • family members will take on specific roles and responsibilities,


  • protocols such as limiting the use of photographs,

    写真の使用や 故人の名を口にする回数を

  • saying the name of the deceased,


  • and holding a smoking ceremony


  • are all a sign of respect and allow for a peaceful transition of the spirit.

    これらはすべて敬意を払い 死者の魂を安らかに送る行為です

  • These customs can be a complete contrast


  • to those we might practice in Western cultures,

    行われている事柄と 非常に対照的なこともあります

  • where we would honor the memory of a loved one

    西洋では話題にしたり 写真を共有することで

  • by talking about them and sharing photographs.

    亡くなった大切な人の記憶に 敬意を払います

  • So my lesson from this last year is,

    昨年 私が得た教訓は

  • life would be a lot easier to live if we talked about death now,

    健康なうちから死について語ることで 人生はずっと楽になるということです

  • while we're healthy.

    私たちの多くが機を逸するまで 待ってしまいがちです

  • For most of us, we wait until we are too emotional,


  • too ill


  • or too physically exhausted --


  • and then it's too late.

    この世で迎えるフィナーレを自分で 決めてもいい頃ではありませんか?

  • Isn't it time we started taking ownership of our finale on this earth?

    早速 始めましょう

  • So let's get going.

    自分が死んだら どうしたいですか?

  • Do you know what you want when you die?

    どんな風に人の記憶に 残りたいでしょうか?

  • Do you know how you want to be remembered?


  • Is location important?


  • Do you want to be near the ocean


  • or in the ocean?


  • (Laughter)

    宗教的な葬儀か 気取らないパーティーがいいか

  • Do you want a religious service or an informal party,

    それとも 華々しく

  • or do you want to go out with a bang,

    文字通り 花火と一緒に 世を去りますか?

  • literally, in a firework?


  • (Laughter)

    死について語るべきことは 多くありますが

  • When it comes to death, there's so much to discuss,

    私は2つの側面について 注目したいと思います

  • but I want to focus on two aspects:

    自分の死について語り 計画することが 良い死を迎えることにつながり

  • why talking about and planning your death can help you experience a good death,

    自分の大切な人たちの負担を 減らせるのかという理由と

  • and then reduce the stress on your loved ones;

    死について語ることがどのように 悲しむ人を支えることに役立つかです

  • and how talking about death can help us support those who are grieving.

    まず 計画について話しましょう

  • So let's start with planning.


  • How many of you have a will?


  • Put your hand up.

    わあ 素晴らしいですね

  • Oh, this is fantastic.

    オーストラリアでは 18歳以上の成人の45%が

  • In Australia, 45 percent of adults over the age of 18

    法的効力を持つ遺書を 持っていません

  • do not have a legal will.


  • You're a little bit above average.

    遺書を書くことが かなりシンプルで

  • This is a startling statistic

    安価なことを考えると 平均の数字は驚くべきものです

  • given that writing a will can actually be quite simple and inexpensive.


  • So I started asking my friends and neighbors

    多くの人が遺書を用意していないこと に大変驚きました

  • and was really surprised to learn many of them don't have a will,

    夫婦の中には 個人の遺書の必要性を 知らない人もいました

  • and some couples don't realize they need individual wills.

    多くの場合は 「結局配偶者に 委ねられることになるから」です

  • The usual explanation was, well, it's all going to go to my partner anyway.

    法律は 州ごとや国ごとに

  • So keep in mind that laws vary

    異なることを念頭に 置いておきつつ

  • from state to state and country to country,


  • but this is what happens in New South Wales

    遺書がないまま亡くなった場合を ご紹介します

  • if you die without leaving a legal will.

    まず ニュー・サウス・ウェールズの 最高裁によって

  • Firstly, a suitable administrator must be appointed


  • by the Supreme Court of New South Wales.

    この管理者は 故人と面識もない可能性が高いです

  • Chances are this is someone who would never have met the deceased.


  • That person is then responsible for arranging your funeral,

    遺産を集めて 負債や 税金の支払いの後に分配します

  • collecting assets and distributing them after paying debts and taxes.

    負債のひとつには 葬儀費用が含まれます

  • And one of those debts will be the bill for their services.

    この管理者は 故人の居間に置いてある―

  • This is not someone who would have known


  • you want the four-foot wooden giraffe in your living room

    遠くから運ぶのを手伝ってくれた人に 譲りたがっていると知らないでしょう

  • to go to the person who helped you carry it halfway across the world,

    ちなみに これは私の遺志です

  • and yes, that's in my will.


  • (Laughter)

    配偶者や同居している パートナーがいれば

  • If you die leaving a spouse or a domestic partner,

    不動産はその人のものに なる可能性が高いですが

  • then chances are they will receive your estate,

    独身であれば 事態はずっと複雑になります

  • but if you are single, it's far more complicated,

    親、兄弟姉妹、片親が違うきょうだい、 扶養家族が全部関わってくるからです

  • as parents, siblings, half-siblings and dependents all come into play.

    また定期的に慈善団体に 寄付を行っていたら

  • And did you know that if you make a regular donation to charity,

    その団体が不動産を要求することも できると知っていましたか?

  • that charity may have grounds to make a claim on your estate?

    知っておくべき最重要事項は 所有する不動産が大きいほどに

  • The most important thing to know is the bigger your estate,


  • the more complicated that will will be,

    それにかかる費用も 大きくなるということです

  • and the more expensive that bill.

    ですから 遺書を書いていない人に お尋ねします...

  • So if you don't have a will, I ask you ...


  • when else in your life

    払わなくてもいいお金を 政府に進んで支払いたいと

  • have you willingly given money to the government


  • when you didn't have to?


  • (Laughter)

    私は去る2月に 進行性の肺疾患で父を亡くしました

  • I lost my father in February to a progressive lung disease.


  • When dad knew his death was imminent,


  • he had three clear wishes.


  • He wanted to die at home;


  • he wanted to die surrounded by family;

    そして窒息することなく 安らかに死ぬことを望んだのです

  • and he wanted to die peacefully, not choking or gasping for air.

    嬉しいことに 家族は 父の望みを支えることができ

  • And I'm pleased to say that my family were able to support dad's wishes,


  • and he achieved his goals,

    その意味では 父の死は 良い死であったのです

  • and in that sense, he had a good death.

    父は計画したとおりの 死を迎えました

  • He had the death he planned for.


  • Because dad wanted to die at home,

    かなり辛い対話を 持つことも必要でしたし

  • we had to have some pretty tough conversations


  • and fill out a lot of paperwork.

    書類の質問は蘇生処置から 臓器提供まですべてを網羅していました

  • The questions on the forms cover everything from resuscitation to organ donation.

    父は「使える臓器は 全部提供する」と言い

  • Dad said, "Take whatever organs you can use."

    母はこれを聞いて 動揺しました

  • This was upsetting to my mum,


  • as my dad's health was deteriorating rapidly,

    臓器提供について語るタイミングでは なくなっていたからです

  • and it was no longer the right time to talk about organ donation.

    こうした事柄については まだ健康で動けるうちに議論すべきです

  • I believe we need to discuss these issues when we are fit and healthy,

    そうすれば 感情的にならずに 話すことができ

  • so we can take the emotion out of it,

    何が重要であるかだけでなく なぜそれが重要なのかにも

  • and then we can learn not just what is important,


  • but why it's important.

    そこで私は 自分に思いを巡らす過程として

  • So as part of my journey,

    家族や友人に死についての考え方や どのように人の記憶に残りたいかを

  • I started engaging my family and friends to find out their thoughts on death,


  • and how they wanted to be remembered.

    そこで分かったのは 「夕食をしながら死を語る会」や

  • I discovered you can host a "Death Over Dinner,"

    「死を語らうデス・カフェ」を 催すことです

  • or a "Death Cafe,"


  • which is a great, casual way to introduce the topic ...


  • (Laughter)


  • and gain some wonderful insight.


  • (Laughter)

    遺体が法的に処理されねばならないと 知っていましたか?

  • Did you know that your body has to be legally disposed of,


  • and you can't just be shoved off a cliff


  • or set fire to in the backyard?


  • (Laughter)

    オーストラリアでは 3つの選択肢があります

  • In Australia, you have three options.

    最もよくある2つは 土葬と火葬です

  • The two most common are burial and cremation,


  • but you can also donate your body to science.

    嬉しいことに 科学の発展は

  • And I am pleased to report that innovation has touched


  • the world of corpse disposal.


  • (Laughter)


  • You can now opt for an eco-funeral.

    再生紙の段ボールや 籐かごの中に収めて

  • You can be buried at the base of a tree


  • in recycled cardboard or a wicker basket,


  • and for those who love the ocean,


  • there are eco-friendly urns that will dissolve at sea.


  • Personally, I plan to be cremated,


  • but given that I get seasick,


  • I can think of nothing worse

    大海原の荒波にもまれるなんて 想像もしたくありません

  • than having my ashes flung into a huge ocean swell.

    私は父の墓の隣に 区画を購入し

  • I've actually bought a plot in the rose garden next to my dad.


  • I call it my investment property.


  • (Laughter)

    残念ながら 税金控除は 受けられませんけど

  • But sadly, there's no tax deduction.


  • (Laughter)


  • So if you plan for your death,

    残された人は 遺志を尊重できないことを恐れたり

  • then your survivors will know how to experience a healthy bereavement

    尊重できなかった罪悪感に苛まれずに 健全に弔うことができます

  • without fear or guilt of having failed to honor your legacy.

    リサーチの一環として 私はセミナーに出席したり

  • As part of my research, I've been to seminars,

    本を読んだり 緩和ケアの看護師と 話したりしました

  • read books and talked to palliative care nurses.


  • And I've come to understand


  • as a consequence of not talking about death,

    悲しみへの向き合い方を 知らないということです

  • we don't know how to be around grief.

    その反対に 死について もっと語れば

  • And on the flip side, if we talk about death more,

    悲しみと共に経験する感情について もっと向き合いやすくなるはずです

  • we will become more comfortable with the emotions we experience around grief.

    今年 私が発見したのは

  • I discovered, this year,

    人が死を迎える手伝いをするのは 光栄なことだということです

  • it's actually a privilege to help someone exit this life,

    喪失感と悲しみで 心は重くとも

  • and although my heart is heavy with loss and sadness,


  • it is not heavy with regret.


  • I knew what dad wanted,

    その望みを支えることができたことで 心の平安を得られました

  • and I feel at peace knowing I could support his wishes.

    父は最期の24時間 穏やかな昏睡状態に陥りました

  • My dad's last 24 hours were in a peaceful coma,

    何日もつきっきりで 看護をした後に

  • and after days of around-the-clock care,

    父のそばに腰掛けて 手を握って

  • we had time to sit, hold his hand,


  • and say goodbye.

    父は月曜の朝 朝食前に息を引き取りました

  • He passed away on a Monday morning just before breakfast,


  • and after the doctor came


  • and we waited for the funeral home,

    私は台所に行って お粥をたっぷり食べました

  • I went into the kitchen, and I ate a big bowl of porridge.

    友人にこのことを告げると 衝撃を受けたようでした

  • When I told some of my friends this, they were really shocked.

    「そんな時に 食べ物が 喉を通るの?」

  • "How could you eat at a time like that?"

    でも お腹が空いていたんですもの

  • Well, I was hungry.


  • (Laughter)

    悲しみゆえに眠れず 集中できないことはあっても

  • You see, grief impacted my sleep and my ability to concentrate,

    食欲は衰えませんでした いつだってお腹は空きます

  • but it never impacted my stomach. I was always hungry.


  • (Laughter)


  • It's different for all of us,

    そのことを認識することは とても大事です

  • and it's really important that we acknowledge that.

    自分の死や大切な人の死について 語らないのならば

  • So if we don't talk about our death and the death of loved ones,

    悲しみの渦中にある 友人、同僚、隣人を

  • how can we possibly support a friend, a colleague, a neighbor


  • who is grieving?

    事故や自殺などで 急に誰かを失った人を

  • How do we support someone who has lost someone suddenly,


  • like an accident or suicide?


  • We tend to avoid them ...


  • not because we don't care,

    何と声をかけたらいいか 分からないからです

  • because we don't know what to say.

    友人だからといって 解決することもできなければ

  • We know as a friend we can't fix it,