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  • The one and only... Miss Catherine Tate! [applause]

  • I can't believe we've got double English

  • [sigh] English is well dry!

  • I don't see what's so great about readin anyways!

  • No, readin's for LOSERS! [laughter]

  • Innit though?? [sucks teeth] At least we've got a new teacher today.

  • Yeah right, that'll be a laugh, won't it?

  • [door opens] [cheers and applause]

  • Morning!

  • Alright [laughter]

  • As I'm sure you're aware, my name is Mr Logan, I'm your new English teacher, nice to meet you all.

  • Hope you're all ready to get to grips with some Elizabethan literature!

  • Let's all turn to page 53 in our poetry textbooks

  • I think we'll dive straight in with the Bard himself.

  • Sir?

  • Yeah?

  • Are you English, sir?

  • No, I'm Scottish.

  • So you ain't English, then?

  • No, I'm British.

  • So you ain't English, then?

  • No, I'm not, but as you can see... I do speak English.

  • But I can't understand what you're saying, sir. [laughter]

  • Well, clearly you can.

  • Sorry, are you talking Scottish now? [laughter]

  • No, I'm talking English.

  • Right. Don't sound like it! [laughter]

  • OK, whatever you want. Now! Let's get on with Shakespeare.

  • I don't think you're qualified to teach us English!

  • I am perfectly qualified to teach English.

  • I don't think you are, though.

  • You don't have to BE English to teach it.

  • Right, have we got double English, or double Scottish? [laughter]

  • Is your name Lauren Cooper, by any chance?

  • Yeah. [laughter]

  • Why?

  • Your reputation precedes you.

  • Innit though?! [laughter]

  • So, Shakespeare's sonnets!

  • Sir?

  • A sonnet is a poem

  • Sir?

  • - Written in 40 lines - Sir?

  • - the last two of which - Sir?

  • - must form a rhyming couplet - Sir?

  • Sir?

  • Yes, Lauren?

  • Can I aks you a question?

  • Not just now.

  • Can I aks you a question, though?

  • Just wait.

  • But can I just aks you a question? I only want to aks you a question. Can't I aks you a question? I'm just aksing you a question. Can't I aksk you a question?

  • What is it?

  • Are you the Doctor? [laughter]

  • [cheering, applause]

  • Doctor who?

  • Innit though?! [cheering, applause]

  • I dunno what you're talking about.

  • You look like Doctor Who, though!

  • I'm not Doctor Who, I'm your English teacher!

  • I don't think you are, though.

  • Lauren...

  • I think you're a 945-year-old Time Lord! [laughter]

  • Listen...

  • Did you just pitch up from Mars?

  • Don't be ridiculous.

  • - You know your house, right? - What?

  • - You know your house? - Yeah?

  • Is it bigger on the inside? [laughter]

  • Be quiet!

  • Have you parked the Tardis on a meter?

  • Can we please get back to Shakespeare?

  • [sucks teeth]

  • Thank you!

  • So...

  • Do you fancy Billie Piper, sir?

  • Right. [laughter, applause]

  • You are the most insolent child I have ever had the misfortune to teach.

  • Thank you. [laughter]

  • You are pointless, repetitious and extremely dull.

  • Bit like Shakespeare. [laughter]

  • You're not even worthy to mention his name.

  • William Shake - William Shakespeare was a genius. You, little madam, are definitely not.

  • Now just sit there, keep your mouth shut, or I will fail you in this whole module right now.

  • [sucks teeth]

  • [laughter]

  • Amest I bovver-ed?

  • [laughter, applause]

  • What?

  • Amest I bovver-ed, forsooth?

  • Lauren...

  • Looketh at my face!

  • - I don't... - Looketh at my face!

  • - Stop it. - Ist this a bovver-ed face thou seest before thee?

  • Right, I'm calling your parents.

  • Are you disrespecting the house of Cooper?

  • Art though calling my mother a pox-ridden wench?

  • No.

  • - Art thou calling my father a goodly rotten apple? - Lauren... [laughter]

  • - But he ain't even a goodly rotten apple. - Listen to me...

  • - But he aint even a goodly rotten apple, though. - That's enough.

  • - Face-eth! - Lauren...

  • - Bovver-ed? - Lauren...

  • - Look at it! My liege! - Stop! That's it!

  • - My liege! My liege! My liege! - No! Stop!

  • - Face-eth! Bovver-ed! Face-eth! - Now! Stop!

  • - You take the high road and I'll take the low road. - That's it!

  • I ain't even bovvered! [laughter]

  • I ain't even bovvered! Look! Face! Bovvered! Face!

  • Bovver-ed, face, bovver-ed, I ain't even bovver-ed, my liege!

  • I be not bovver-ed, forsooth, I be not bovver-ed, face, bovvered, I ain't even bovvered.

  • Face, bovvered, Shakespeare, sonnets, I ain't even bovvered.

  • My mistress' eyes are nuffin' like the sun

  • Coral is far more red than her lips red

  • If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun

  • If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head

  • I have seen roses damask, red and white

  • But no such roses see I in her cheeks

  • And in some perfume is there more delight

  • Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks

  • I love to hear her speak yet well I know that music have a far more pleasing sound

  • I grant I never saw a goddess go. My mistress when she walks treads on the ground

  • And yet, by Heaven, I think my love as rare

  • As any she belies with false compare.

  • [slams desk] Bite me, alien boi!

  • [cheers, applause]

  • [electronic humming]

  • [pulsing]

  • [cheering, applause]

  • That's better! [laughter]

  • A rose by any other name would smell as sweet! [laughter, groans]

  • (high-pitched) I still ain't bovvered! [laughter]

  • [applause, cheering]

The one and only... Miss Catherine Tate! [applause]

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B1 中級

レッドノーズ・デイ~デヴィッド・テナントとキャサリン・テイトがコミックリリーフのために~ [字幕版] (Red Nose Day - David Tennant and Catherine Tate for Comic Relief [subtitled])

  • 104 7
    nick brian に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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