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  • Hi there.

  • My name is Emma, and in today's video I am going to help you become a better speaker,

  • especially if you are shy.

  • Okay? So, a lot of people when they learn new languages, they're very embarrassed and they're too shy

  • to speak.

  • This video will help you with good tips and strategies on how to become more confident

  • in your speaking.

  • So let's get started.

  • Okay, so the first thing I like to tell shy people, so people who are afraid to speak,

  • is: You need to find your strengths.

  • You need to ask yourself: "What am I good at?"

  • Because a lot of the times, shy people, they think:

  • "Oh my goodness, I'm not good at speaking, I'm terrible at English,

  • I'll never learn this language",

  • and they feel really sad.

  • But that's not usually true.

  • Usually shy people are good at many different things, they just don't realize it.

  • So remember: English is not only speaking.

  • Speaking is part of it, but there are other skills, too.

  • Maybe you're a great listener.

  • Okay?

  • Maybe you're good at grammar.

  • Maybe you're not good at all grammar,

  • but you're amazing at the present perfect or the

  • simple past.

  • You know, maybe you're good at reading or writing.

  • So it's good to recognize what you're good at so you don't feel so sad when you're learning

  • English, because you might be good at a lot of different things.

  • So, you can always write down on a piece of paper: "I am able to",

  • you know, listen very well, or: "I am able to do well on my grammar test."

  • Okay? So think about: What are your strengths?

  • My next tip is probably one of the most important tips.

  • When you're trying to learn a language, especially when you're shy, it's good to make goals and

  • to write them down.

  • Okay? So what do I mean by goals?

  • Well, for example, I have three goals here and I'm going to talk about each of them.

  • Somebody's goal might be: "I will be a better speaker."

  • Or they might say: "I will say two things in class today."

  • Or: "I will ask two people: 'How is your day going?'"

  • So these are all goals, but these goals are not all great goals.

  • What do I mean by that?

  • Well, this first goal: "I will be a better speaker", you will not know if you've become

  • a better speaker or not.

  • This goal, it's too big so I would not use this goal.

  • Okay?

  • When you make a goal it's good to make something where you have a number in it, and you can

  • tell very easily: Did you do it or didn't you do it?

  • So, for example: "I will say two things in class today",

  • this is a great goal because

  • you know: "Okay, I said two things in class, I met my goal for the day."

  • This will really help you with speaking, especially if you're shy.

  • Maybe you're too shy even to say two things in class, so maybe you can say one thing in

  • class or maybe for the first class you can just listen and try for the next class to

  • say one thing.

  • Okay?

  • Another example of a great goal is: "I will ask two", and again, this can be any number.

  • "I will ask two people: 'How is your day going today?'"

  • So just by making goals, it can really encourage you to speak and practice your English, and

  • you will improve this way because it is important to speak as much as you can.

  • This way, you know, it's not too difficult, it's something you can do.

  • The other key point here is: Write down your goals.

  • I think it's great to have a journal or a diary where you write down your daily goal,

  • and then at the end of the week you can check it off and see: Did I meet this goal?

  • Hopefully you did, and that way you can actually monitor your English progress.

  • So now let's look at some more tips.

  • Okay, so my next tip is very important, too: Don't compare yourself to extroverts.

  • So, what is an extrovert?

  • It's the opposite of a shy person.

  • So, an extrovert is somebody who everybody pays attention to because they love to talk,

  • they're great in social situations, they're usually with friends or out with people.

  • So, an extrovert is somebody who's not really shy.

  • So, what a lot of shy people do is they compare themselves.

  • They see the extrovert, and they think: "Wow, I wish I was just like that person.

  • That person's speaking is so good.

  • Why can't I speak like that?"

  • It's very common to compare yourself, but it's not a good idea, because number one,

  • it's possible that person is making a lot of mistakes.

  • You just don't realize it.

  • And it's great that they have confidence, but you know, it's not good to compare yourself

  • because there are things you're doing that are probably very good that you're not really

  • thinking about.

  • Okay?

  • So if you compare yourself, you'll just feel sad and you won't learn as much.

  • It's better to try to feel better and not compare yourself.

  • Another thing is: Learn key phrases.

  • The more you practice certain sentences, the easier they are to say.

  • So this way, you don't have to spend all your time thinking:

  • "Oh my god, what am I going to say?

  • I don't know what to say. I'm really nervous."

  • Instead, if you practice key sentences enough, then it becomes very easy to say them.

  • You won't have to think about them so hard.

  • So an example of this is when you meet somebody and you're trying to, you know, talk to them

  • about their day:

  • "What is keeping you busy these days?" or "How is your day going so far?"

  • So you can...

  • You can ask these types of questions, and when you say them enough you don't have to

  • worry about the grammar, you don't...

  • You won't have to worry about your pronunciation.

  • You can just practice.

  • Or, you know, for when you're at a restaurant:

  • "I'd like a tea please.", "I'd like a coffee please.", "I'd like milk please."

  • So just memorizing key sentences can really help you, especially if you're shy

  • and a shy speaker.

  • Okay, my next tip: Visualize.

  • So what does this mean?

  • When you visualize you close your eyes and in your head you imagine something.

  • So it's not real, it's in your head, but visualizing is very, very...

  • It's a good way to practice your English.

  • So what I recommend is actually imagine you're in a conversation with somebody, and you can

  • imagine: What are you going to say and what will the person say?

  • This is a great way to practice, and there's a lot of science behind how...

  • How amazing visualizing something can be and how it can really help you learn.

  • Okay?

  • So if you have a presentation, before the presentation imagine what you're going to say.

  • If you're meeting somebody for the first time, imagine what you're going to say and what

  • they're going to say.

  • This will help you be less nervous and it can really help you in terms of your language

  • using better language in those situations.

  • Okay, my next tip, it's similar to this one, a little bit different, is:

  • Talk to yourself in front of a mirror.

  • A lot of the times you might be too shy to talk to somebody.

  • You might feel your heart beat very quickly and you might feel a lot of stress, so you

  • can practice first by talking to yourself in front of a mirror.

  • This way you can feel comfortable and you're still learning.

  • You know, practicing those phrases in front of a mirror means you're actually, you know,

  • still learning them and still using them, and they will then become easier to use.

  • So I highly recommend this tip.

  • All right, now let's look at some more tips on how to learn when we are shy.

  • Okay, so my next tip has to do with the environment you're in.

  • Okay? So if you are in a bar, or maybe you're in a classroom, or maybe a meeting, and my tip

  • is: Become comfortable in the environment you're going to speak in.

  • A lot of people feel very nervous before they speak, and that's okay.

  • One way to help you make your, like, you know, to become less nervous is to get used to the

  • environment where you're going to speak in.

  • So what do I mean by this?

  • Well, for example, imagine you're going to be giving a meeting...

  • Or, sorry, not a meeting.

  • A presentation.

  • Try to look at the room before you give the presentation.

  • Try to see how it all looks like.

  • Get used to that environment.

  • The more used to an environment you are, the less you will feel stressed when you're speaking in it.

  • Same with a bar, you know, maybe you could go to the same bar and get used to that environment

  • so then you're less nervous when you speak.

  • Okay?

  • So try to become comfortable with your environment.

  • If you can't go to the environment, you can at least maybe look at pictures online, you

  • know, Google images for example and maybe you can do some visualization.

  • So even though you're not there, you can imagine yourself there.

  • That can also help.

  • Okay, the next tip: Find other shy people.

  • A lot of the times students are looking for conversation buddies.

  • If you're shy it's sometimes good to have a shy conversation buddy because that way,

  • you know, you can both understand each other better and you don't have one person talking

  • the whole time where you're just listening.

  • So if you find another shy conversation buddy you're probably going to speak a bit more.

  • It's also good to have extroverted friends, you know, sometimes that takes off pressure

  • because you don't have to speak then.

  • But I would recommend finding other shy people, maybe shy people in your class or shy people

  • in a conversation circle, that way you can really benefit from the understanding you

  • both have of each other.

  • This is also sort of similar: Find people with the same hobbies as yourself.

  • A lot of the times when we speak about things we like, it's easier for us to talk than when

  • we speak about things we don't know about.

  • So if you go to a conversation circle, you know, try to find somebody who has the same

  • hobbies as you.

  • If you like reading, maybe you could join a book club.

  • Or if you like movies, maybe you could join a film club.

  • If you like skiing, you can join a ski club.

  • Or you can find people who have similar interests.

  • There's a lot of great meetup groups that, you know, you can find people who are interested

  • in the same things as you.

  • Okay, my next tip has to do with what your body is doing while you're speaking.

  • There's a lot of science behind how a smile can really make you feel better.

  • So when you're speaking, it's good to do something called the smile breathing technique.

  • This is where you smile and you breathe.

  • Okay?

  • It takes a little time, maybe, to get used to that, but when you're breathing it makes

  • you less nervous and when you're smiling it makes you less nervous.

  • So be aware of your body language.

  • If you're like this, you're going to feel a lot more nervous than if you're bigger,

  • and you're taking deep breaths, and you're smiling.

  • Okay?

  • You can also do power poses before any speaking.

  • I have a video on this.

  • You can find it in the links in the description, and there you will see some great poses you

  • can do before you speak to somebody.

  • These body movements will make you feel more confident before you go out and speak, so

  • I recommend that video.

  • Another thing you can do is you can choose conversation topics you're comfortable with.

  • So if you're going to a bar, think about some things you would like to talk about.

  • Maybe you love talking about cooking or maybe, you know, again, you're really into movies.

  • So finding conversations you can have with people on subjects you're comfortable with

  • will help you feel less nervous than if you're talking about something you have no idea about.

  • Okay, my next tip: Make mistakes.

  • A lot of people who are shy are also afraid to make mistakes.

  • They worry that if they make a mistake it will be embarrassing for them.

  • Now, it's really hard to do this, but you have to get used to making mistakes.

  • Making mistakes is very, very important for learning a language.

  • So one thing you can do is you can tell yourself every day, you know, when you wake up:

  • "Today I want to make some mistakes.

  • It's okay to make mistakes.

  • There's nothing wrong with making mistakes."

  • This can also help with your confidence.

  • If you tell yourself you can make mistakes then it will probably give you more chance

  • to speak because you won't be so afraid of making mistakes.

  • Another tip is the FORD technique.

  • I have a video that you can get through the links in the description about what's called

  • the FORD technique.

  • This is a great way to make small talk or to talk to people you don't know well.

  • I have a whole video on how you can improve your conversation using the FORD technique,

  • so I hope you check out that video and it will actually really help you in terms of

  • knowing what to talk about when it's quiet or knowing what to talk about when you don't

  • really know somebody that well.

  • Okay, so again...

  • Actually, one more tip I don't have on the board, but my last tip I would say is:

  • Make sure when you're shy and you actually speak, reward yourself.

  • Okay?

  • You know, if you have a goal: "Today I'm going to speak two times in class",

  • and you do it, do something nice for yourself.

  • It's very easy when you're shy to be very hard on yourself and to constantly tell yourself,

  • oh, you know: "I wish I was more confident, there's something wrong with me.

  • You know, I don't like this about myself."

  • Be a little bit easier on yourself and reward yourself because it's not easy learning a

  • language when you're shy.

  • It's good to recognize that and to also, you know...

  • To also reward yourself so you know you're doing good.

  • Okay?

  • Because you are.