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  • Hi!

  • So the other day I was listening to music with a friend who asked,

  • "How tall do you think Taylor Swift is?"

  • Uh, like two meters?

  • You think?

  • She looks pretty tall. Maybe three meters?

  • What? Nobody is 3 meters. That's like over 9 feet.

  • I take it back. Two meters. I wanna go back to two meters.

  • How tall is Taylor Swift?

  • Taylor Swift is 1.78 meters tall.

  • Aye, that's kind of what I thought.

  • Who the fuck measured Taylor Swift?!

  • I don't know. They have the heights of a whole bunch of people. See?

  • Ariana Grande, Calvin Harris, Karlie Kloss...

  • Give me that!

  • How tall is George Clooney?

  • George Clooney is 1.8 meters tall

  • How tall is Oprah?

  • Oprah Winfrey is 1.69 meters tall

  • How tall is Adele?

  • Adele is 1.75 meters tall.

  • WHO ARE YOU? WHO MEASURES PEOPLE?

  • Hyacinth Cook is a professional height data collector.

  • From her studio apartment, she runs a small business "Height Helpers".

  • Providing celebrity heights to clients, such as Google, the National Security Agency, Interpol, and Grant.

  • I just like knowing people's heights.

  • I guess I knew from the first moment, that I asked myself, "how tall is Brad Pitt?"

  • Like if we would ever date, would I be too tall next to him if I wore high heels to like a premiere?

  • And I thought to myself, this is a question that other people must be asking.

  • So I started to collect heights. His was my first.

  • He would always be my first.

  • When I first started, it was very old school.

  • I would wait outside the stage door,

  • and I would pretend to ask them for an autograph.

  • And while they were signing, I'd be measuring them and, you know, that's how I first started.

  • And in my first year, I collected 1,473 celebrity heights.

  • And that was great.

  • I started to develop more advanced skills

  • Oh shit, wrong person.

  • - Oh my god! Are you okay? -There.

  • Good.

  • Okay. Alright.

  • And all of that aside, it felt sort of normal just to be asking Google, "How tall people were."

  • That's not normal. Just because they're celebrities, that's not okay.

  • I mean imagine if I collected heights of my friends.

  • Hey Nat, can I borrow a piece of paper of this? I just wanna write stuff down. My phone's outta battery.

  • Well, you're already writing in it, so it's not really asking...

  • And you can't return it if you're... it's not really borrowing if you can't return it.

  • It's awkward. I wasn't thinking about it anyways.

  • What is this?

  • Oh, that's everyone's height. Don't write on that page. That's important.

  • What do you mean? WHAT?

  • It's everyone's height! I write down everyone's height, so I know.

  • But what is this for? Like what are you going to use this for?

  • It's just so I know! So if you're like, "Hey, how tall do you think Amanda is?"

  • I'll be like "Amanda is 5'1' when she's lying down in her bed."

  • How would you know...? You know, Amanda said you're a weirdo and I'm starting to believe her.

  • Amanda said that?!

  • Yah. She said you're weird.

  • What is that?

  • This is another list.

  • (IT'S TIME FOR: AMANDA)

  • You don't need to know about it.

  • But now that you do...

  • (SUSPICIOUS LIST: KRISTIN)

  • Well what's that list?

  • Stop making lists!

  • The only time I think you really need to know height, is in a crime situation.

  • Hi Natalie, I understand you've had a home invasion here today,

  • and you saw the man leaving the building.

  • Okay, I'm Sergeant Merralis, you can call me Judy.

  • And that's constable Jacobson, you can call him Jeff.

  • Hey Jeff!

  • Hi Judy.

  • Hey!

  • Hey.

  • How are you?

  • Good! How are you?

  • I'm good.

  • Okay, I'm sorry I didn't bring my pad of papers, so I'm just gonna borrow a sheet from here if that's okay.

  • Yah, I mean, it's not really asking if you're already writing; it's not really borrowing if you can't return... I wasn't thinking about it.

  • Alright, so, tell me, did you see the face of the man at all?

  • Uh, no.

  • And what did he take?

  • He took some cash that was in my key box, and some earrings from my jewelry box.

  • They didn't take my DVD/VCR combo thing, which is kind of crazy.

  • Maybe they thought it was just a VCR or just a DVD?

  • But it's DVD AND VCR. Like it does both.

  • Um, but that was it, really.

  • Okay. And did you get his height?

  • It's funny cuz you keep referring to them as a "he", but it could've been a she. I mean, burglars can be shes'.

  • I'm sorry. Was it a she?

  • Oh no. Like it was a guy anyway. So it doesn't matter.

  • Um, maybe like two meters?

  • You think?

  • He was pretty tall. Maybe three?

  • Nobody is 3 meters, that's over 9 feet tall.

  • Two. I take it back. Let's go back to two. Two meters.

  • Anyways. This video isn't very relatable, is it?

  • Nope.

  • Oh well. What's the internet for if not to steal your time and make you angry.

  • Smart people like "there's a lot of other uses for information.'

  • SHUT UP smart people!

  • Anyway, I apologize for not making a video last week.

  • Oh, I didn't even notice.

  • I seriously have other things to do. I can't just sit around waiting for you to upload a video.

  • Oh, you didn't notice? Yah, I didn't notice either.

  • I only mentioned it because like, I thought you mentioned it.

  • But you brought it up...

  • SHUT YOUR FACE! You should shut your face right now!!

  • Alright! It's porno music / comment time.

  • I'm gonna make these much shorter now, and dedicate more time to comments in separate videos.

  • But I'm very sad to hear so many of you kill flies.

  • I've talked to you guys about this. You can't kill bugs and insects.

  • Their families will see you and they will come and murder you in your sleep.

  • I know this cuz I speak to bugs. And no you will never get your four minutes back.

  • Because I ate them all.

  • I ate all your minutes. HAHAHAHA.

Hi!

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A2 初級

誰がテイラー・スウィフトを測定したのか? (Who Measured Taylor Swift?)

  • 12788 624
    Kristi Yang に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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