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  • - I SAW YOU AT THE--

  • AT GUY'S PARTY AFTER THE OSCARS,

  • AND WE SPOKE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

  • AND I WAS CONGRATULATING YOU,

  • BECAUSE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR COMING OUT,

  • AND I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • I KNOW WHAT A SCARY THING THAT IS.

  • YOUR SPEECH WAS INCREDIBLE.

  • I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS

  • THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN SPEECH.

  • - THANKS.

  • - I WANT TO SHOW--

  • I WANT TO SHOW A LITTLE TINY BIT OF IT RIGHT NOW.

  • - HERE I AM, AN ACTRESS

  • REPRESENTING, AT LEAST IN SOME SENSE, AN INDUSTRY

  • THAT PLACES CRUSHING STANDARDS ON ALL OF US,

  • STANDARDS THAT, I HATE TO ADMIT, HAVE AFFECTED ME.

  • AND I AM HERE TODAY BECAUSE I AM GAY

  • AND BECAUSE--

  • [cheers and applause]

  • - I KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS.

  • YOU STILL GET EMOTIONAL?

  • - YEAH. - YEAH.

  • I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE EMOTIONAL JUST WATCHING THAT.

  • I WAS LIKE THAT FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS

  • AFTER I CAME OUT.

  • IT'S A SCARY THING TO VERBALIZE, TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.

  • HOW NERVOUS WERE YOU?

  • - UH, THE MOST NERVOUS I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE,

  • FOR SURE.

  • I THINK MY BIGGEST FEAR OF DOING IT

  • WAS EVEN JUST HAVING A PANIC ATTACK, QUITE FRANKLY.

  • - UH-HUH.

  • - BUT, YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST SO READY TO DO IT

  • AND, QUITE FRANKLY, SO EXCITED TO DO IT,

  • SO IT WAS A COMBINATION OF JUST SUCH THRILL

  • TO FINALLY BE AT THAT PLACE IN MY LIFE

  • WHERE I WAS ABLE TO DO THAT

  • AND GRATEFUL TO HAVE THAT MOMENT

  • AND GRATEFUL TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU DID IT

  • IN A TIME WHEN IT WAS MUCH HARDER AND MUCH SCARIER.

  • SO IT'S--

  • [applause]

  • - IT'S, UM--

  • IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT AT THE TIME,

  • BUT IT'S A VERY SELFISH THING TO DO.

  • IT REALLY IS JUST THE MOST--

  • I MEAN, I CAN SPEAK FOREVER ON IT,

  • BUT HOW DO YOU FEEL SINCE YOU'VE DONE IT?

  • - YOU KNOW, I KNEW I WOULD BE A HAPPIER PERSON.

  • I KNEW THAT I WAS GONNA FEEL BETTER.

  • AND I DID NOT ANTICIPATE JUST HOW HAPPY I WOULD FEEL.

  • AND JUST EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE,

  • JUST AN EASE AND A COMFORT.

  • AND IT'S--IT'S REALLY BEEN QUITE EXTRAORDINARY

  • TO FEEL JUST THE SHIFT.

  • IT WAS PRETTY MUCH OVERNIGHT TOO.

  • - YEAH, IT IS, BECAUSE YOU'RE RELEASING SHAME.

  • I MEAN, AND ANYONE-- IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS,

  • WHAT YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND THAT'S YOUR SECRET.

  • EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING THAT YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND

  • THAT YOU'RE ASHAMED OF.

  • AND TO CARRY SHAME AROUND IS A--

  • FIRST OF ALL, IT CAUSES DISEASE.

  • IT'S--YOU JUST CAN'T-- IT'S A HORRIBLE THING,

  • TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

  • - YES, IT'S TOXIC, AND I THINK WE TALKED ABOUT THIS A BIT,

  • WHERE, YOU KNOW, YOU THINK YOU'RE AT A PLACE

  • WHERE YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, I'M HAPPY TO BE GAY.

  • "I'M SO COMFORTABLE BEING GAY.

  • I LOVE BEING GAY."

  • AND, HONESTLY, IT WASN'T UNTIL MAKING THAT CHOICE

  • AND DOING THAT WHERE I REALIZED, LIKE, NO,

  • I WAS CARRYING A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF SHAME

  • AND GUILT FOR NOT BEING OUT

  • AND FELT ISOLATED FROM THE LGBT COMMUNITY.

  • AND NOW I DON'T, SO...

  • - YEAH, IT'S--YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU SEEM MORE RELAXED,

  • AND I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT JUST NOT HAVING TO WORRY

  • ABOUT SOMEBODY CATCHING YOU IN A LIE.

  • I KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE ON A SHOW

  • AND YOU'RE JUST--YOU JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WAITING

  • FOR SOMEONE TO GO, "YOU'RE GAY!

  • [laughter]

  • I KNOW YOU ARE!"

  • - YEAH, YES, ABSOLUTELY.

  • IT'S SO NICE TO JUST, YOU KNOW, BE AT WORK

  • AND TALK ABOUT AN EX OR, YOU KNOW,

  • GET TO WEAR WHAT YOU WANT

  • AND NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT

  • AND TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING YOURSELF

  • AND THEN CONNECT WITH PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

  • YOU KNOW, IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE PEOPLE COME UP TO ME

  • AND TELL ME THEIR STORY

  • OR, YOU KNOW, SAY, "HEY, I'M CLOSETED.

  • DO YOU HAVE ADVICE?"

  • AND, YOU KNOW, THOSE ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS

  • TO GET TO SHARE WITH PEOPLE.

  • - YEAH, YEAH, AND TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE ANOTHER FACE

  • THAT SOMEONE HAS HOPE FOR,

  • 'CAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF TEENAGERS OUT THERE--

  • YOU TALK ABOUT IN YOUR SPEECH--

  • THAT ARE GETTING BULLIED EVERY SINGLE DAY

  • OR TAKING THEIR OWN LIVES

  • BECAUSE THEY'RE, YOU KNOW-- THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT.

  • AND SO IT'S A REALLY COOL THING.

- I SAW YOU AT THE--

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A2 初級

カミングアウトについてのエレン・ペイジ (Ellen Page on Coming Out)

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    鄭小鬼 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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