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  • Hello there I'm John Oliver

  • host of last week tonight

  • and we're off this week for the fourth of July

  • but I wanted to make a video

  • to wish everyone a happy independence day

  • or they call it where I'm from July the fourth and that's it

  • I do hope you have a great day of resting , barbecuing

  • and preparing to explain your weird tan lines to your coworkers on Tuesday

  • I fell asleep outside with my hat on backwards

  • and now my forehead looks like a sunset

  • I just like to take a quick moment

  • to remind you of what's you're missing out on by celebrating your independence

  • by celebrating your independence

  • because as you know since 1776

  • you've done very well as a nation

  • but it might be worth thinking about

  • just a handful of things that you gave up

  • when kicking Britain on ceremoniously out of this country

  • because first there's the matter of your accents

  • these beautiful vowel sounds could have been yours

  • but instead from sea to shining sea

  • you speak like you just burn your tongue on a hot apple pie

  • you are also missing out on bowler hats

  • which are prefect for dressing your head

  • like an circumcised velvet penis

  • and that is not even mentioning all the cuisine that you lost

  • for example

  • meat pies which a lot like British people themselves

  • a hardened outer layer gives the impression of composure

  • but under the surface is just a hot mess

  • but the thing that American are really missing out on is pessimism

  • Americans are optimistic people

  • who believe the sky is the limit

  • whereas in Britain we are painfully aware of our limits

  • in fact just look at the British sky itself

  • even the sun is incapable of asserting itself there

  • British people never make the mistake on developing self esteem

  • because no matter what we achieved deep down

  • we know we'll never be as good as the queen

  • which is to say

  • an elderly woman who frowns for a living

  • so just take a moment on this

  • July the fourth to think about

  • all that you left behind

  • and I think you'll realize

  • honestly you're probably way better of the way the things are

  • thank you so much for watching this

  • I do enjoy your holiday

  • we'll be back on HBO

  • with a new episode on July twenty forth

Hello there I'm John Oliver


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ジョン・オリバーが出演したLast Week Tonight独立記念日(ウェブ独占 (Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Independence Day (Web Exclusive))

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    林予倢 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日