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I did everything I was supposed to do.
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I got good grades in high school, I took AP classes,
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I went to a good college, I got a great job,
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I climbed the career ladder.
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On paper I had it all.
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I was making $70,000 a year at the age of 28,
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I was working for the federal government.
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I had health care, I had benefits, I had job security.
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You literally can't get fired from working for the government.
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Trust me, there are people that should.
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(Laughter)
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My parents were impressed, my friends were impressed,
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my boss told me I was doing a great job.
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I would go to Happy Hour and tell everyone I was the Special Assistant
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to the Director of Global Operations at the U.S. Peace Corps,
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and everyone thought that was so cool.
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They asked for my business card.
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I got to sit in on meetings at the White House.
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Everything was perfect about my job
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except for one tiny, kind of important thing: I was miserable.
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How did I know I was miserable?
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Every single morning when my alarm would go off at 6:30 AM to NPR,
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I'd feel a shooting pain go up and down my back.
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I felt this pain when I was getting out of bed,
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when I was brushing my teeth,
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when I was getting dressed and putting on my shirt and tie,
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when I was taking the bus down to work, when I scanned my ID badge at the office,
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when I rode up the elevator up to my desk, when I sat at my desk typing memos,
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when my boss would invite me to meetings and we'd talk about best practices,
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and when my boss would email me every night on my Blackberry at 10 PM.
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The pain was so bad I developed shingles on my side.
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Shingles in a nerve disease common in people over the age of 70,
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not 20-somethings.
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(Laughter)
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This was the pain of confusion.
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It was the pain of climbing this career ladder to success
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and realizing that I was nowhere.
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I was somewhere I didn't want to be.
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I was stuck in a quarter-life crisis.
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I was spending a lot of time on Facebook overdosing on FOMO, Fear of Missing Out,
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comparing myself to what my friends were doing.
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So there was my friend going off to business school
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and I was like, "Maybe I should get my MBA."
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And there was my friend going to teach at a charter school,
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and I was like, "Maybe I should work at a charter school."
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And there was my friend opening a food truck,
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and I was like, "Maybe I should open a food truck,
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even though I'm an awful driver and a really bad cook."
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(Laughter)
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And so there was a buddy of mine, he'd already graduated
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from one of the top law schools in the country,
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he got this amazing job at one of the top corporate firms,
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making well over six figures, and he's got it all figured out,
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and there he is traveling with his girlfriend in Peru,
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getting engaged at sunset in front of Machu Picchu.
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And I'm like "Man! This guy has got it all figured out.
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He's got this amazing job, he's going to get married,
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he's at Macchu Picchu, I hate my job, I hate my life,
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I can't even get a date on OkCupid, my life is ruined!"
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(Laughter)
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I'm a goner!
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It was only when I met other young people going through the exact same thing
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that I was able to turn my quarter-life crisis into a breakthrough.
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So this talk is going to teach you a few lessons I learned on my journey
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that can help anyone that's stuck in a quarter-life crisis
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or help you avoid your quarter-life crisis and find meaningful work.
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So the first lesson I learned:
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find believers.
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Surround yourself with people that believe in the beauty of their dreams
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because I used to come home in D.C. every night to my roommate Dan,
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and I'd be like "Dan, I hate my job, I don't want to do this anymore,
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I want to move across the country, I want to live in San Francisco,
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I've always wanted to live there, I want to start writing,
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I want to start being creative, I want to support social entrepreneurs,
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I want to support young people that are going after their dreams."
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And Dan would look at me, stare, roll his eyes, take a swig of beer,
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and say "Smiley, suck it up."
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(Laughter)
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"Everyone hates their job, it's part of life."
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And I was like, "Man! You know, that's kind of brutal."
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I was 28 at the time which is old, but it's not that old.
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I didn't want to spend the next 40 years of my life depressed.
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But you know what?
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The majority of the world thinks like Dan.
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70% of Americans are disengaged at their jobs.
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70%!
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One fifth of those people are so disengaged,
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they're actively undermining their coworkers' work.
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They're literally getting paid
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to mess things up for the company that they work for.
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(Laughter)
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And this is a shame.
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It's a shame because millions of people wake up every day unfulfilled, depressed,
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not showing up fully for themselves, their families, their communities,
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or the world at large.
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So then I met believers.
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I went to a leadership program
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that bring together 20-somethings interested in creating social change,
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social entrepreneurship, and using business for good.
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The program was called StartingBloc and at StartingBloc I met believers.
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I met people like Debbie.
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Debbie was starting GoldieBlox,
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a toy company that teaches young girls engineering skills.
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I met people like Ted.
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Ted started MoneyThink, which is a nonprofit
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that teaches financial literacy and entrepreneurship to urban youth.
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I met people like Tom.
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Tom started Rising Tide Car Wash, a small business in South Florida
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with his father, that employs people with autism.
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So I met these believers and they're like, "Wait a second Smiley,
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you want to leave D.C., move to San Francisco,
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start writing, start supporting social entrepreneurs?
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You have to do that, the world needs you to do that!"
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Because a crazy thing happens when you find believers:
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you find accountability.
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Normally in the real world,
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you tell someone you're going to quit your job and they're like,
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"Yeah dude, you said that six months ago.
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Everyone's going to quit their job. Whatever. You're not going to do it."
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You tell someone you're writing a book:
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"Everyone's writing a book, I'll believe it when I see it."
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Not when you tell believers,
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because when you tell believers you have accountability.
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I told my buddy Evan that I was going to quit my job at StartingBloc.
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And you know what he asked me? One simple question: when?
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When are you going to have the talk with your boss?
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And he texted me every single week after the program:
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Have you had the talk with your boss yet? Have you had the talk with your boss yet?
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I'd be in meeting with senior officials at the White House
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getting texts and calls from this guy and I was like,
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"Stop calling me, you're going to get me arrested!"
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But you know what?
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The only reason I did have that talk with my boss,
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the only reason I did quit my job,
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I did move across the country to a city I wanted to live in,
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the only reason I did write a book,
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the only reason I started supporting social entrepreneurs,
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and the only reason I'm standing here right now
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is because people like Evan held me accountable.
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Because when you find believers, you find accountability.
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(Applause)
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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People like Debbie and Ted and Tom weren't talking about making lots of money.
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They weren't talking about rising up the corporate ladder,
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getting featured in TechCrunch or Fast Company.
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They were talking about
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making the world more innovative, compassionate, and sustainable.
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They were talking about using their access, their privilege,
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and their skills to empower people less fortunate than them.
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Because the success symbol for my generation, for our generation,
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isn't climbing the career ladder, it's doing work that matters.
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So we're not the "me me me" generation.
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50% of millennials, that's most of you in this room,
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would take a pay cut to find work that matches their values.
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90% of millennials want to use their skills for good.
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Despite unprecedented levels of unemployment and student debt,
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our generation wants to work with purpose.
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So how do you actually find meaningful work?
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Well, the second lesson I learned
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is that you have to stop comparing yourself to others
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and start pursuing what is meaningful to you.
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I went back and interviewed my friend,
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the corporate lawyer that had it all figured out,
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was married, got engaged at Machu Picchu.
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I was like "Man, you got a great job, you're making all this money,
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What's the secret?"
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And you know what he told me?
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He told me that after three years of law school,
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hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt,
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and now making all this money at the corporate firm,
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that he was miserable as a corporate lawyer,
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and that he was going back to grad school at the age of 30
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to become a high school social studies teacher.
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Right?
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(Applause)
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Which is great for him, but what's the lesson?
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What's the lesson?
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Nobody knows what they're doing. Nobody has it figured out.
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The grass is always greener.
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Instead of comparing yourself to others,
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instead of comparing yourself to everyone on Facebook,
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start figuring out what it is that you want.
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Don't climb the career ladder to nowhere; build a career that matters to you.
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So why are you here?
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What do you want to do for others?
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How can you align your own gifts, your unique gifts,
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with the impact you want to have on the world
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in a way that supports your desired quality of life?
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You know what the beautiful thing about meaning is?
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The beautiful thing about alignment?
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There is no one answer.
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No two peoples' definitions are the same.
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I don't know what's right for you.
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I'm still trying to figure out what's right for myself.
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Now, Debbie, she started GoldieBlox because of the discrimination she faced
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as one of the only female engineering students at Stanford University.
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Ted started MoneyThink because when he was growing up in Chicago,
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he realized he had a lot of opportunities due to his privilege
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that his peers simply didn't have.
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And Tom started Rising Tide Car Wash
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because he saw how hard it was for his own brother to find a job
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because his own brother has autism.
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So they had a personal connection to their work.
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Meaning is personal, so what makes you tick?
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Not your parents, not your boss, not your friends on Facebook.
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What makes you tick? Why are you here?
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How will you create your own path?
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The third lesson I learned is that you have to start hustling.
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You have to start hustling with intention, you have to start hustling with purpose.
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A lot of people like to call our generation lazy,
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'the lazy generation.'
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It's like, are you kidding me? Lazy?
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I've been working for 10 years since college
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and I still owe Sally Mae $10,000 in student loans.
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So Sally Mae if I ever see you on Tinder, I'm swiping left.
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(Laughter)
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Debbie, and Ted and Tom weren't working four hours a week,
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they were working 40, 50, 60 hours a week on something they cared about.
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Now why would you want to automate something that brings you joy?
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Why would you want to automate something that impacts the world, impacts others?
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These people weren't automating, they were hustling.
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They were working hard on something that matters.
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I was working four different jobs when I was writing a book
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because I had to pay rent and pay my loans.
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A lot of people hear my story and they're like,
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"I got to quit my job tomorrow, I'm out! Peace!"
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That's not my message, that's not what I'm saying.
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A lot of you may have heard of Debbie and GoldieBlox,
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but what you might not know is
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she had a full time job while she was starting that company.
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She was working as the marketing director for a jewelry company in San Francisco.
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She stayed on at that job for nine months after she had the idea for GoldieBlox.
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Why?
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First of all, she knew she was going to start her own business
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so she needed to save money, a very practical reason,
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but second of all, she felt like she was getting paid to go to business school.
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Rather than pay a lot of money to go get an MBA, she was earning a paycheck
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and learning invaluable skills in marketing, retail, distributions, sales
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she knew she would be able to apply to her own business