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Hey, Vsauce. Michael here.
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And I'm in Los Angeles, but today we're going to talk about love.
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You can't buy love, but what if you could? I mean, what if I had a machine that could
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make you fall in love with someone for the rest of your life?
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What should I charge for the use of that machine? Well, we should, first of all, be clear about
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what we mean when we say "love." I'm not talking about the love you have for
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your BFFs or your love for your family or your love of learning.
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I'm also not talking about lust, an immediate attraction we have towards other people mediated
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by hormones like testosterone and oestrogen. I'm talking about what happens later, when
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you begin to associate an immediate reward with one other person - what we call passionate
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love. This is what you see in new couples, where
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they wanna be with each other and are almost obsessed with each other.
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Well psychologists have a really great term for that kind of love.
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They call it limerence. That's right.
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Whenever you're in this state and you do things like wake up super early to get a bagel with
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the person and even though you're gonna miss class just because you wanna see them that
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badly, you're exhibiting limerent behaviour. Okay, that sounds great.
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But if I wanna sell love, I'm gonna have to find a way to measure it and it turns out
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to be quite a difficult task. We do have a tool called the passionate love
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survey. It was developed by psychologists and it's
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been found to be quite reliable when it comes to analysing other behaviours we associate
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with passionate love. For instance, we found, using the survey,
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that men and women both experience the same amounts of passionate love when they're in
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a relationship. We've also found that men tend to fall in
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the love faster and sooner than women, who appear to be more cautious.
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But we're here to talk about money. Interestingly, a UK study once looked at people
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who heard that someone else loved them. They heard the phrase "I love you" for the
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first time and they took the amount of happiness those people felt and compared it to the amount
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of happiness gamblers feel when they win large sums of money.
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Their conclusion, that hearing that someone loves you for the first time is the equivalent
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happiness level of receiving 267,000 dollars. But when you go beyond passionate love to
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committed long-term love, there's all kinds of practical benefits marriage brings.
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In fact, it's been estimated that tax breaks and health care costs all together mean that
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being married is the equivalent of receiving an extra 100,000 dollars a year.
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Now we have a lot of ways of visualizing the effect having money has on a person.
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For instance, we know that in wealthier countries people report feeling respect more often.
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They also report eating tastier foods, for instance.
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But here's what's really awesome. Take a look at the graph of wealth against
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love.
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It doesn't matter.
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Love is democratic, no matter who you are or how much money you have, people all over
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the world are feeling it. It should be noted that having more money
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does not necessarily equate to being more happy.
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This is what's known as the hedonistic treadmill. Getting more money helps with happiness, but
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only up to a certain point. In United States that point is about 75,000
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dollars a year. At that point, more money has diminishing
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returns on how happy it makes you. Another thing that correlates to having more
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money, more wealth, is living longer, having a larger life expectancy.
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But you know what else correlates to living longer?
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Love. But not just passionate love, the kind of
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love that follows it - committed, long-term love.
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In fact, people who form life-long pair bonds with another person live, on average, 15%
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longer. So if you wanna be really non-hard-scienc-y
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about it, all other things being equal and assuming that you're not already super super
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rich, finding a pair bond, finding a relationship that lasts for life is the equivalent of making
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about an extra 30 to 40 thousand dollars a year.
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Now, like I said, that's not hard science, but you know what is?
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Vasopressin and oxytocin, the chemicals that are exuded in people's brains when they
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look at photos of people that they formed committed, long-term relationships with.
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These chemicals are incredible. We've also seen elevated levels of them in
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dogs that have been pet for really long time. And we also know that couples who receive
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high levels of these chemicals resolve conflicts faster.
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And, people who struggle to produce these chemicals in their brain have a similar struggle
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when it comes to forming long-term relationships. In fact, you can raise your levels of oxytocin
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or vasopressin inside your own brain by simply looking into someone else's eyes.
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That's right. So, in a way, looking into the eyes of somebody
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that you like is the administration of a psycho-active drug that's addictive and the long-term consequences
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are living longer.
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Thanks for watching.