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Your purpose must come before your relationship. If a woman who has an abundance of men in
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her life picks you, it's probably because you have some kind of purpose, some kind of
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direction in your life. Now what's going to happen is you're going to get into a relationship
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with this woman, and then at some point it's time for you to go to the gym, it's time for
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you to practice your craft, but you're going to sit down with her and say, "You know, you're
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so beautiful. You're just the most beautiful girl in the world. I was going to go do all
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those things, but I love you more than anything." And what's going to happen is she's going
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to look at you and say, "Oh, that's really sweet!!" And then lose attraction for you
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and leave you. You want to think of yourself as a roller coaster. So she comes into the
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park, and she sees all these different roller coasters and then she sees you. She looks
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at the path and she says, "Wow, that's going to be a fun path to go on." She comes up,
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she gets in, and instead of going on the journey and taking her with you, you say, "You know
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what, no, I'm going to sit here. I'll spend time with you. You're my number one priority."
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And again, what's going to happen? She's going to get up and find a new roller coaster to
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ride. Literally. Don't force the feminine to make decisions. The feminine does not like
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to make decisions. Again, this doesn't have to do with it being a guy or a girl, the feminine
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does not like to make decisions, but it's most likely going to be the girl. It's probably
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her coming in and saying, "Hey, should I wear black or red today? Which one honey? Which
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one?" Instead of you doing that to her. So when she does that, what do most guys do.
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It's like, "Uh, I don't know. They both look really good. Um, I don't know. Just pick whichever
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one you want." And again, you're not making decisions. Now if you're playing the masculine
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part in the relationship, that is your responsibility and she's going to get turned off by it. Now
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why do most guys not make that decision? First of all, it's like, there's the right decision
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and the wrong decision. Realize that most of the time there is no right or wrong decision.
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And the second part is being indifferent. It doesn't matter, pick something arbitrarily.
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Don't put the responsibility on the feminine cause the feminine will start to resent you
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for it. What she wants is not what she says. So imagine you go shopping with one of your
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guy friends and leave the store and you forgot something. And you ask, "Hey, should we go
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back in and grab it?" If he says, "No, that's going to take too much time," that probably
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means "No, that's going to take too much time." Now if you take your girlfriend with you and
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the same thing happens and she says, "No, it's going to take too much time," that can
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mean, "Yes, I want to go in there." It can also mean no, but it can also mean yes. And
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as the guy, it is your responsibility to know what she means when. Now how do you cultivate
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that? You do it through experience, you do it through being more attuned to her, you
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do it through educating yourself, but ultimately, that is your responsibility. Now with that,
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some guys still get angry and say, "Well, why can't she just tell me?!" And the reason
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is because it's not as attractive. She won't feel that masculinity penetrate her. Just
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like if you were working and she came up to you and gave you a playful kiss and said something,
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that would be the feminine energy that you crave and you would absolutely love it. Now
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imagine if you had to tell her that for her to do it. That would be the only way she would
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do it. She would say, "Oh, thanks for telling me. Now I know exactly what to do." It's not
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as attractive. You are responsible for the growth and intimacy. One of the most common
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problems in this category is sex. A lot of guys get into a relationship and then the
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sex isn't as good after a while. And what are they going to do? "Well, she's not as
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fun anymore. She's not attractive anymore." Putting all the blame on her. And again, it's
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like, are you reading books on sexual psychology? Are you trying to improve the sex? Are you
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introducing the new things required for the sex life to improve? "No, I would never read
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a book. I mean from another guy telling me how to have sex?! That would massively affect
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my ego! Plus I've been watching all this porn lately, so I know exactly what I'm doing!"
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And again, what are you doing with that? You're putting all the blame on her and not taking
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the responsibility. You are the one that's responsible for the growth and intimacy. All
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you have to do is hold her hand and lead her. If you do that, she will follow you. She will
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do crazy things with you, the things that you thought were not even possible. She will
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do all those things, but as a man, you have to hold her hand and lead her. Unless she's
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masculine, she's not going to hold your hand and lead you.