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  • I’m just saying, we could

  • shave off 15% if we just move

  • manufacturing to Honduras.

  • Then do it.

  • Why are we even talking?

  • Because you still haven't

  • signed mom's birthday card.

  • [sighs]

  • Oh, there he is.

  • What’s up, Ashley?

  • [Menacingly] Shane.

  • [Normal voice] H.R. says I'm

  • moving to a bigger desk.

  • Well, that's true, because in

  • its own special way, the

  • sidewalk is the biggest desk

  • of all.

  • Youre so--what?

  • Youre fired.

  • and re-hired.

  • Peekabooski.

  • [Sighs] Law here.

  • Can’t wait to frag some

  • newb skillets.

  • [Laughter]

  • Who’s this dickhead?

  • This is New Law.

  • His demos are through the roof.

  • Girls can't get enough of his

  • toothpaste smile, and guys are

  • busting a nut over his sweet

  • skills.

  • You can't--

  • No, no, I bust the nuts.

  • I’m the law.

  • It’s my name.

  • It’s my I.P.!

  • All of which you signed over

  • to Napalm Energy Corporation.

  • including your butt, which

  • no one asked you to do,

  • So you can have that back.

  • You signed your butt over

  • to them?

  • No wonder girls don't respond

  • to his brand.

  • [Laughter]

  • Were gonna need you to be

  • out of the office by lunch,

  • Laurence.

  • Ash, about mom's birthday

  • card...

  • Oh, oh, oh.

  • it's your mother's birthday?

  • Oh, what a special day.

  • Mrs. Barnstormer is an

  • inspiration to this whole

  • company.

  • Don’t mind if I do.

  • [snaps fingers]

  • Yow!

  • Oh!

  • My WASDs!

  • Whoops.

  • Oh, my bad.

  • Sorry about that.

  • [shrieking]

  • Well, good-bye.

  • [shrieking]

  • That guy is classic.

  • [shrieking]

  • [Rock music]

  • Don't want to hear

  • About how the real worlds

  • the place for me

  • There's nothing out there

  • won't look better

  • on a TV screen

  • There's a better way

  • ♪ I don't care what you say

  • ♪ I just want to play

  • We all just want to play

  • Things will be all right

  • Soon as I get back to school

  • ♪ ♪

  • Once the E.R. guy said

  • Clutch’s big toe was okay,

  • We rushed right back to the

  • school, but...

  • I was driving too fast.

  • Ted, you should have been

  • more careful.

  • I know.

  • It’s just--

  • My phone had died, and you

  • didn't know where I was, and...

  • I didn't want to ruin your prom.

  • I’m just happy you're okay.

  • You are...

  • Okay, right?

  • It’s been a rough couple of

  • weeks, Ki.

  • But you know what?

  • Thisll give me time to think.

  • It’s so unfair that they're

  • keeping you here.

  • It’s only three weeks

  • detention, Kiwi.

  • Time’s up.

  • go win that election, babe.

  • I’ll miss having lunch with

  • you.

  • [sighs]

  • [Handsome as Sin -

  • Tell Me How You Died]

  • ♪ ♪

  • ♪ ♪

  • ♪ I’m the breathing' ♪

  • on the other line

  • The hate causin' pain

  • from another time

  • ♪ I’m the barrel

  • and the shotgun spray

  • ♪ I’m the son of a bitch

  • Who took your daddy away

  • Yeah

  • Tuck your head down

  • ♪ 'cause I’m comin' your way

  • and I can guarantee

  • You don't want me to stay

  • yeah

  • ♪ ♪

  • ♪ I’m the white hairs

  • in the old man's beard

  • the news in the paper

  • that you don't want to hear

  • ♪ I’m the aching

  • in the young man's brain

  • The smell of the lover

  • that drove you insane

  • ♪ I’m a glass house

  • throwin' all my stones

  • The fears you can feel

  • All the way in your bones

  • ♪ I’m a barrel

  • and the shotgun blast

  • ♪ I’m a kick in your back

  • knockin' you on your ass

  • yeah

  • tuck your head down

  • ♪ 'cause I’m coming your way

  • [Cheers and applause]

  • tuck your head down

  • ♪ 'cause I’m coming your way

  • and I can guarantee

  • ♪ ♪

  • [Cheers and applause]

  • [Cheers and applause]

  • tuck your head down

  • ♪ 'cause I’m coming your way

  • Yeah

  • and I can guarantee

  • You don't want me to stay

  • tuck your head down

  • ♪ 'cause I’m coming your way

  • and I can guarantee

  • You don't want me to stay

  • You got shanked, brother.

  • Aw, man.

  • Ted Wong, it's time.

  • One pair of sunglasses, black.

  • One mechanical pencil,

  • .5 millimeter.

  • Three sticks of bubble gum,

  • winter fresh.

  • I remember having four.

  • [Gum pops]

  • One jewel-encrusted

  • Tomowachi, engraving...

  • "To Josh, happy 8th birthday,

  • Love mom."

  • It’s dead.

  • [gasps]

  • Oh, crap!

  • Oh!

  • Aah!

  • Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap.

  • Ah, jeez.

  • Youre feeding him, right,

  • and teaching him new tricks,

  • and cleaning his poop?

  • You got to clean his poop, Ted.

  • Uh-huh.

  • He’s fine.

  • He’s just sleeping right now.

  • He’s sleeping?

  • It’s noon.

  • What did you do to him?

  • Hmm?

  • Show him to me.

  • He’s in my room, and you will

  • get to see him when your team

  • votes for Ki.

  • Oh, no, Ted.

  • My guys don't vote until I know

  • He’s okay.

  • You got that?

  • Yes, fine.

  • I’ll send you a picture.

  • He better be smiling, ted.

  • He better be smiling!

  • Ladies and gentlemen,

  • Pwners and Zwners, today is

  • The day--

  • Napalm versus VGHS.

  • Two incredible teams,

  • two incredible captains,

  • but only one will go on

  • to the fps championship.

  • Let’s talk jenny matrix.

  • She’s still a sophomore.

  • This is her first year on

  • varsity, and this is the biggest

  • game of her career.

  • Can she handle the pressure?

  • According to my readouts...

  • No.

  • There you have it.

  • He’s here.

  • Jacques Letoure and his scout

  • are coming to the game.

  • What?

  • Wait. Why?

  • Why?

  • To see you play, and they want

  • to meet you after the game.

  • Word on the street is they're

  • losing their backup sniper.

  • Okay, so this--this is--

  • this is real.

  • Mm-hmm, Ashley’s the only

  • other player they're looking at.

  • You kick his ass, and you will

  • be packing your bags, because

  • you will be going to Paris.

  • Hey, it's a really, really

  • good thing.

  • Get your war face on.

  • Mom...

  • I have to tell Brian.

  • [sighs]

  • and I don't--I don't even

  • know what to say.

  • You still want this, right?

  • Yeah, more than anything.

  • Then you tell him that,

  • and you hope that he

  • understands.

  • Yeah.

  • Hey, hey, guys.

  • [Laughter]

  • Oh-ho, what is that?

  • Dude.

  • Hey, guys.

  • Jenny, hey.

  • Were just--

  • Yeah, sorry to interrupt.

  • Hey, I was just, um...

  • I was wondering, do you want to