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[Hail to the Chief plays]
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♪ ♪
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Candidates...
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It's been quite an election.
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The polls are closed.
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The votes are in.
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And one of you will be...
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America's Next Top President!
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[The Star-Spangled Banner
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plays]
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♪ ♪
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Senator Marshall...
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Your record on women's rights
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is impeccable, and you have
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a strong military background.
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Tony Hawk...
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You're really, really good
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at skateboarding.
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I wish I could elect you
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Thank you.
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both.
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But the final rose...
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and nuclear launch codes...
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Go to...
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[suspenseful music]
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♪ ♪
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The President of
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The United States of America!
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Mr. president!?
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Frank, you're safe!
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I am, but america's not.
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Honey, hand over the launch
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codes.
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Tony, I'm gonna need your board.
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Is this thing live?
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America, listen to me
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very carefully.
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You are--
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More on that later, zwners,
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But we've got an epic Kill
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streak in progress!
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No time to explain -
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just shut up and watch!
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[gunfire]
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[gunfire]
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[rapid gunfire]
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[explosion]
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[jets whooshing]
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[bullets zipping]
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[explosion]
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Yo, Brian.
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Come on, I got you, bro.
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[grunts]
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[beeping]
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Hey, come on, move your--
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[rapid gunfire]
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[explosion]
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Move. 20 seconds to cap.
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[crowd cheering]
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Our top story - VGHS barely
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survives their first playoff
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match, but...
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Last-minute miracle plays
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and lucky comebacks just
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aren't gonna cut it...
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In the totally extreme road
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to the championships!
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The competition has never
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been tougher, nor the stakes
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higher. And...
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You can't help but feel that
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this VGHS team has lost
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a certain...
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Je ne sais...
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"Law!"
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[distant explosion]
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[explosion]
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[light creaking]
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[gun cocks]
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Ooh, la la.
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Barnstormer.
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Just sampling the local cuisine.
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[chuckles] So were we.
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[laughs]
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Prostitutes.
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Yeah.
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[sighs]
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Yeah.
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You want another cap?
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sure.
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Not like there's anything else
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going on.
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Ha ha, yeah.
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17 to zero.
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Are you Kidding me?
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17 to zero!
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Napalm's unstoppable.
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Championship's in the bag.
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You got to get in on this thing
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while you still can, before it
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goes up, up, up!
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Okay, we get it.
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Starting a high school FPS
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team was good for the company.
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But why are we here?
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What's your endgame?
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What do you want?
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I want...
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Video Game High School.
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[rock music]
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♪ Don't want to hear ♪
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♪ about how the real world's ♪
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♪ the place for me? ♪
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♪ There's nothing out there ♪
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♪ won't look better ♪
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♪ on a tv screen ♪
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♪ There's a better way? ♪
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♪ I don't care what you say ♪
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♪ I just want to play ♪
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♪ we all just want to play ♪
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♪ Things will be all right ♪
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♪ Soon as I get back to school ♪
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♪ ♪
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One down, four to go.
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Yeah!
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Up top, all right.
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Whoa!
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[hissing pop]
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Vote for Shane.
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It's okay, Wendell.
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Let's pass out more cookies.
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Okay.
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Vote for Ki.
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Thanks.
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Hey!
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[camera shutter clicks]
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Yeah, i'll vote for Shane...
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Like, never...
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[laughs]
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Three, two, one...
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Go!
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Yes!
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Ha ha! whoo!
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Ted wins.
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Err!
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Boosh!
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[imitates engine revving]
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Ph, sor--
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Oh.
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Hey, dude.
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Sorry about that.
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Are you...
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How are you?
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Yeah, he's our Ted now.
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Yikes.
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Are you okay?
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To be honest...
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No?
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Hey, man, you got to forget
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about that nerd.
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We all got the day off.
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Let's go get cool by the pool.
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Actually, Games, Brian and I
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have some one-on-one time
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planned.
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Yes, there is an olive oil
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tasting at Romero's.
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Jenny, we're gonna be late!
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Is that what you're wearing?
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For?
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For your interview on OMG?
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Oh, god, that's today?
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Can't I just skip it?
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That's hilarious.
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See you in the car.
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Oh, my god, Brian,
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I'm so sorry.
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I forgot.
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We'll hang out tonight, yeah?
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Yeah, don't worry about it.
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Okay.
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Good luck.
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Thanks.
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I don't know, Ki.
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Shane's gonna throw us
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a pizza party every week.
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Yeah, what do we get if we
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vote for you guys?
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Well, you get
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a strong leader--
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Forget it, Ki.
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The M.M.O. guild only wants
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one thing--loot.
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Let's talk deal.
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Ooh.
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Can you give me Babbage's blade?
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Oh, my gosh, Josh.
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If you wanted that lame sword,
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you should have bought
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the collector's edition.
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Whatevs, I still want it, eh?
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Fine, get my babe Babbage's
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Blade, and you totes got our
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votes.
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We're outie.
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Ooh, I should go too.
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I'm going to meet with
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the social gamers.
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Ew, what?
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Why?
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Those guys aren't even
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real gamers.
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Plus, the M.M.O. guild is, like,
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half the voting block, Ki.
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Who will only vote for us
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if we bribe them.
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And I'm not that sort
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of candidate, okay?
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Okay, yeah.
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No, you're right.
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I don't know what I was
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thinking.
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Go meet the people.
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Best running mate ever.
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Best boyfriend ever--
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This guy.
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Hi, Ted.
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Hi.
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I have to go.
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Oh, okay.
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Bye, Ki.
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Bye.
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Okay, dork, you play
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Deathstalker, right?
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I'm gonna need you to get us
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Babbage's blade.
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What?
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Why?
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'Cause it's the only way the
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M.M.O. guild will vote for us.
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And if we don't get those votes,
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we're gonna lose, and then Ki's
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Gonna cry.
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Is that what you want, Ted?
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You want Ki to cry?
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No, of course not.
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Exactly.
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Suit up.
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Okay.
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But the only person I know that
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Bbought the collector's edition
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is...
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Oh, man.
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Hey, Ted, should I get
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The collector's edition?
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It's your money.
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Do whatever you want.
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Yeah.
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What the heck, Ted?
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You ignore me for two weeks,
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and now you're trying to steal
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my stuff?
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It's for Ki.
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She needs Babbage's blade to
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win the election.
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Not that you care.
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Why didn't you just ask?
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'Cause I'm not talking to
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you.
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Now, do you want Ki to win this
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or what?
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Yeah, I do.