♪ ♪

Candidates...

It's been quite an election.

The polls are closed.

The votes are in.

And one of you will be...

America's Next Top President!

[The Star-Spangled Banner

plays]

♪ ♪

Senator Marshall...

Your record on women's rights

is impeccable, and you have

a strong military background.

Tony Hawk...

You're really, really good

at skateboarding.

I wish I could elect you

Thank you.

both.

But the final rose...

and nuclear launch codes...

Go to...

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

The President of

The United States of America!

Mr. president!?

Frank, you're safe!

I am, but america's not.

Honey, hand over the launch

codes.

Tony, I'm gonna need your board.

Is this thing live?

America, listen to me

very carefully.

You are--

More on that later, zwners,

But we've got an epic Kill

streak in progress!

No time to explain -

just shut up and watch!

[gunfire]

[gunfire]

[rapid gunfire]

[explosion]

[jets whooshing]

[bullets zipping]

[explosion]

Yo, Brian.

Come on, I got you, bro.

[grunts]

[beeping]

Hey, come on, move your--

[rapid gunfire]

[explosion]

Move. 20 seconds to cap.

[crowd cheering]

Our top story - VGHS barely

survives their first playoff

match, but...

Last-minute miracle plays

and lucky comebacks just

aren't gonna cut it...

In the totally extreme road

to the championships!

The competition has never

been tougher, nor the stakes

higher. And...

You can't help but feel that

this VGHS team has lost

a certain...

Je ne sais...

"Law!"

[distant explosion]

[explosion]

[light creaking]

[gun cocks]

Ooh, la la.

Barnstormer.

Just sampling the local cuisine.

[chuckles] So were we.

[laughs]

Prostitutes.

Yeah.

[sighs]

Yeah.

You want another cap?

sure.

Not like there's anything else

going on.

Ha ha, yeah.

17 to zero.

Are you Kidding me?

17 to zero!

Napalm's unstoppable.

Championship's in the bag.

You got to get in on this thing

while you still can, before it

goes up, up, up!

Okay, we get it.

Starting a high school FPS

team was good for the company.

But why are we here?

What's your endgame?

What do you want?

I want...

Video Game High School.

[rock music]

♪ Don't want to hear ♪

♪ about how the real world's ♪

♪ the place for me? ♪

♪ There's nothing out there ♪

♪ won't look better ♪

♪ on a tv screen ♪

♪ There's a better way? ♪

♪ I don't care what you say ♪

♪ I just want to play ♪

♪ we all just want to play ♪

♪ Things will be all right ♪

♪ Soon as I get back to school ♪

♪ ♪

One down, four to go.

Yeah!

Up top, all right.

Whoa!

[hissing pop]

Vote for Shane.

It's okay, Wendell.

Let's pass out more cookies.

Okay.

Vote for Ki.

Thanks.

Hey!

[camera shutter clicks]

Yeah, i'll vote for Shane...

Like, never...

[laughs]

Three, two, one...

Go!

Yes!

Ha ha! whoo!

Ted wins.

Err!

Boosh!

[imitates engine revving]

Ph, sor--

Oh.

Hey, dude.

Sorry about that.

Are you...

How are you?

Yeah, he's our Ted now.

Yikes.

Are you okay?

To be honest...

No?

Hey, man, you got to forget

about that nerd.

We all got the day off.

Let's go get cool by the pool.

Actually, Games, Brian and I

have some one-on-one time

planned.

Yes, there is an olive oil

tasting at Romero's.

Jenny, we're gonna be late!

Is that what you're wearing?

For?

For your interview on OMG?

Oh, god, that's today?

Can't I just skip it?

That's hilarious.

See you in the car.

Oh, my god, Brian,

I'm so sorry.

I forgot.

We'll hang out tonight, yeah?

Yeah, don't worry about it.

Okay.

Good luck.

Thanks.

I don't know, Ki.

Shane's gonna throw us

a pizza party every week.

Yeah, what do we get if we

vote for you guys?

Well, you get

a strong leader--

Forget it, Ki.

The M.M.O. guild only wants

one thing--loot.

Let's talk deal.

Ooh.

Can you give me Babbage's blade?

Oh, my gosh, Josh.

If you wanted that lame sword,

you should have bought

the collector's edition.

Whatevs, I still want it, eh?

Fine, get my babe Babbage's

Blade, and you totes got our

votes.

We're outie.

Ooh, I should go too.

I'm going to meet with

the social gamers.

Ew, what?

Why?

Those guys aren't even

real gamers.

Plus, the M.M.O. guild is, like,

half the voting block, Ki.

Who will only vote for us

if we bribe them.

And I'm not that sort

of candidate, okay?

Okay, yeah.

No, you're right.

I don't know what I was

thinking.

Go meet the people.

Best running mate ever.

Best boyfriend ever--

This guy.

Hi, Ted.

Hi.

I have to go.

Oh, okay.

Bye, Ki.

Bye.

Okay, dork, you play

Deathstalker, right?

I'm gonna need you to get us

Babbage's blade.

What?

Why?

'Cause it's the only way the

M.M.O. guild will vote for us.

And if we don't get those votes,

we're gonna lose, and then Ki's

Gonna cry.

Is that what you want, Ted?

You want Ki to cry?

No, of course not.

Exactly.

Suit up.

Okay.

But the only person I know that

Bbought the collector's edition

is...

Oh, man.

Hey, Ted, should I get

The collector's edition?

It's your money.

Do whatever you want.

Yeah.

What the heck, Ted?

You ignore me for two weeks,

and now you're trying to steal

my stuff?

It's for Ki.

She needs Babbage's blade to

win the election.

Not that you care.

Why didn't you just ask?

'Cause I'm not talking to

you.

Now, do you want Ki to win this

or what?

Yeah, I do.