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  • [WHOOSH]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • INTERVIEWER: Why did you want to become a firefighter?

  • SUBJECT: I wanted to become a firefighter because I

  • saw these guys as superheroes.

  • I saw these guys as bigger than life.

  • And it wasn't until I got into the job

  • that I realized that we are just human.

  • I've seen more in one day than probably someone

  • has seen in their whole life.

  • INTERVIEWER: What kind of things do you see?

  • SUBJECT: I see faces of death.

  • I see old people, young people, kids.

  • There are images that are hard to erase.

  • And it doesn't hit me until I get home

  • that I can't fix someone's death.

  • I can't fix someone who is broken.

  • I can't fix these things in my head that

  • make me feel like I'm crazy.

  • Who talks about that?

  • The only time you see a firefighter crying

  • is when one of their coworkers die.

  • OK.

  • INTERVIEWER: Can you tell me about one

  • of those times when you weren't able to save someone?

  • SUBJECT: I went on a call where the young girl in her early 20s

  • was partying on top of an apartment building.

  • And she fell and tumbled and hit the sides of the walls

  • and was killed.

  • But she still had signs of a little bit of life in her.

  • And I was the person doing compressions on her,

  • but I didn't realize later on that this event was going

  • to send me into a tailspin.

  • Some of these calls just mess you up.

  • And this call messed me up.

  • I wanted to start drinking so I'd

  • mask these feelings and these emotions.

  • And it didn't help.

  • I would use prescription pills only because I just

  • wanted to get numb.

  • INTERVIEWER: You were diagnosed with post traumatic stress

  • injury-- PTSI.

  • Can you tell me about that?

  • SUBJECT: I'm healing from my injuries.

  • I'm not going to be completely healed,

  • because I just went on a call last week that messed me up.

  • But I get through them quicker because I'm not drinking.

  • I'm eating cleaner and stair-climbing.

  • INTERVIEWER: Tell me how you go from using alcohol

  • as a means of escape to climbing stairs as a new ritual.

  • SUBJECT: Using drugs and alcohol you get high.

  • Doing stairs I get high.

  • I try to get in 10,000 steps a day.

  • And mentally, it's a great escape,

  • because you're able to really get out of yourself.

  • I've begun to realize that I'm trying to control things

  • that I have no control over.

  • I'm trying to control death.

  • You can't control death.

  • So I focus on trying not to think.

  • I focus on just trying to get myself upstairs the stairs.

  • And I just focus on just being positive.

  • I started organizing my coworkers

  • to join in and do this climb as a tribute

  • to the guys that were killed in 9/11.

  • So now we start wearing gear.

  • We start wearing our bunker pants and our firefighting

  • boots, and we wear our helmets.

  • And you get to a point where you just want to quit.

  • And then I think about the people who cannot do this--

  • the people who aren't here anymore, you know.

  • The stairs are a metaphor to life.

  • Just one step at a time.

  • All that excitement, energy, sweat,

  • tears is contained until you get all the way up to the top

  • where you just like explode and just feel like the sky

  • open up to a feeling that everyone should experience.

  • And I think that a lot of people think

  • that they can find that in a pill

  • or at the bottom of a glass.

  • They don't have go there.

  • And then when you're able to really get

  • that big breath of fresh air, you're breathing in life.

  • It's amazing.

  • INTERVIEWER: Next on Seeker Stories,

  • the ritual I developed while captive in North Korea.

  • Click now to watch.

  • It was the scariest time of my life.

  • I was isolated in what is perhaps

  • the most isolated country in the world.

  • But there was something that I began

  • to do that helped me get through each day.

  • And it was a very simple act.

  • Rituals is a part of Seeker Stories.

  • If you'd like to continue to see more

  • stories from around the world, we need you to subscribe.

  • [WHIR NOISE]

[WHOOSH]

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B1 中級

What It's Really Like To Be A Firefighter

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    黃駿祐   に公開 2015 年 07 月 08 日
重要英単語

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