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  • - You know, I was going to come out here

  • and I was going to talk about the economy,

  • and whether or not the government should

  • ease regulatory restrictions on financial institutions,

  • but I think I would rather play a game.

  • Doesn't that sound like more fun?

  • [loud cheers and applause]

  • So-- [cheers and applause]

  • There's a show called idiot test on...

  • [audience laughter] Game Show Network,

  • Have you seen the show, "Idiotest"?

  • [cheers and applause] Yeah.

  • You have?

  • So we played it once here, before--

  • 'cause I assumed we did not have any idiots in the audience,

  • and I was--I was mistaken, I was sadly mistaken.

  • [audience laughter] Because I--

  • I just assume you're not idiots,

  • and I know today we have no idiots in the audience,

  • so I feel safe to play the game with you today,

  • and know--just to reassure the world watching

  • that you're not idiots.

  • Here's the unfortunate thing: if we find out you are an idiot,

  • you're going to have to sit in an idiot section

  • for the entire show... [audience laughter]

  • [audience laughter]

  • With a ridiculous hat on. So--

  • [audience laughter] Well, anyway, you're not idiots.

  • What am I thinking? You don't have to--

  • Let's see who--who is sure they're not an idiot?

  • It's an easy one, okay? - Okay.

  • - They get harder from here. - Okay.

  • - What is something-- what can animals make

  • that no other animal can?

  • (woman) What an elephant--what can an elephant make?

  • - You--I know what I'm saying.

  • [audience laughter]

  • Turns out I'm an idiot.

  • [audience laughter]

  • - What-- what can an elephant make

  • that no other animal can make?

  • - Um...

  • [audience laughter] Tusks?

  • - Yes, well, that might be true.

  • There are other animals that have tusks, though.

  • - Oh, correct, right. [audience laughter]

  • They don't live in Glendora, though, so--

  • - What it is is a baby elephant.

  • - Oh! [laughs] [cheers and applause]

  • [cheers and applause] - You're gonna head--come here.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • Get over there. (audience) Oh!

  • Sorry. [applause]

  • [applause]

  • All right.

  • [audience laughter]

  • Here we go. - Okay.

  • This is relatively easy as well.

  • A boy is walking down the road with a doctor.

  • - Mm-hmm. - The boy is the doctor's son.

  • But the doctor isn't the boy's father.

  • How is that possible?

  • - The doctor's a woman.

  • - Exactly! [cheers and applause]

  • Yay! [cheers and applause]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • Good for you! [cheers and applause]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • Yay! [cheers and applause]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • Okay, what month do people sleep the least?

  • - [whispering inaudibly]

  • Now I feel like an idiot. Um...

  • - You'll feel more like one when you sit next to her.

  • [audience laughter] - June?

  • - June? And why would you say that?

  • - 'Cause it's the beginning of summer.

  • - No, it's February because they have less days.

  • - Oh, I feel so dumb! [cheers and applause]

  • - Yeah. No, an idiot, not dumb.

  • That way.

  • A cowboy rides into town on Friday.

  • He stays for three days and leaves on Friday.

  • How does he do it?

  • - Oh, God. - Cowboy rides into town

  • on Friday, stays for three days...

  • - And-- - Leaves on Friday.

  • How could he do that?

  • - Uh...

  • [audience laughter] I don't know.

  • I don't know. - You don't know?

  • - I don't know. - The horse's name is Friday.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • Go join them.

  • All right, here you go.

  • You're locked in a freezing cabin,

  • with no way out.

  • There is a candle, a wood stove, and a lantern.

  • You only have one match. What do you light first?

  • You want me to say it again?

  • - The-- - You're locked in a--

  • You're in a freezing cabin.

  • - Right. - It's freezing, right?

  • No way out. There's a candle,

  • a wood stove, a lantern.

  • You have one match. What do you light first?

  • - The stove. - Mm.

  • Well, most people would say the candle,

  • so you could light all those other things,

  • but it's actually the match.

  • All right. [cheers and applause]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • Lemar? Join them.

  • Jane was born on December 28th,

  • yet her birthday always falls in the summer.

  • How is that possible?

  • [whispering inaudibly]

  • This is ridiculously easy. [audience laughter]

  • - Is it? - Yep.

  • - Can you say it one more time? - All right.

  • Jane was born on December 28th,

  • yet her birthday always falls in the summer.

  • How is that possible?

  • - Can I have a lifeline? - Hmm?

  • - I'll just go on over there. - All right.

  • [audience laughter]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • By the way, for playing, each of you idiots over there,

  • you're getting a $500 Best Buy gift card, so--

  • [cheers and applause]

  • We reward that! [cheers and applause]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • And you, too, yes. [cheers and applause]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • And the rest of you get this dance!

- You know, I was going to come out here

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B1 中級

アホの試験に合格するか? (Do You Pass the Idiot Test?)

  • 9963 508
    劉十九 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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