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  • Okay, well talk about wives, grandmothers and grandparents.

  • The first thing that we need to understand is:

  • if there’s two things that we could say about our society

  • (and here I think the United States and Canada are pretty much familiar)

  • is we are a culture that hates children.

  • Four thousand, in my country, a day are aborted.

  • Theyre starting to build even restaurants that are "child free".

  • Resorts that are child free.

  • Condominiums child free.

  • Don’t want any of those "children" around.

  • And were also a society that hates women.

  • Now you might say, “Yeah, those male chauvinists, they hate women.” No.

  • Women hate women.

  • The people who hate women more than anybody else on this planet are feminists.

  • They hate women. They want women to be men. They don’t want them to be women.

  • And any woman who says, “I believe that it is my desire to be in my home,

  • to raise godly children,

  • to support my husband in the endeavors that he has to go through in order to provide for our family,”

  • any woman who does that is considered a failure

  • in our society. She is looked down upon.

  • And I know that from personal experience. I know the things that my wife has suffered.

  • The things that people have said because...

  • they say, “Why don’t you help your husband?”

  • And she says, “Well, I do.” “No, why don’t you get a job.

  • I mean, as a minister he doesn’t make that much money. You could provide other things. You could…” What?

  • Now, were going to look at a few things that are very, very important.

  • First of all, if we go to Genesis 1:27

  • it says, "And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created Him,

  • male and female He created them."

  • So, we see here that both man and woman were created in the image of God

  • and both of them have an equal standing before God.

  • The roles that they play in the marriage has nothing to do with a lack of equality.

  • When we will get to the point where it says that the man is the head of his home

  • and a wife is to live in submission to her husband, it does not mean that the wife

  • is less than her husband. It does not mean that. If you think it does, than guess what?

  • Youve just destroyed the Trinity.

  • Because, did not the Son submit to His Father?

  • So did that make the Son less than His Father? If you sayyes”, than you have just committed heresy.

  • Within the Trinity itself,

  • the Son submitted to His Father and yet the Bible says the Son and Father are One and They are equal.

  • So, my wife and I, we are one and we are equal, we function in different roles.

  • Okay?

  • Now today, everyone says, “No, youve got to have the same roles or youre not equal”.

  • That’s why there’s this push by feminists

  • (and theyve won the day to be honest with you, theyve won the day)

  • that women ought to be fighting on the front lines.

  • That women ought to be doing what men do in everything and if you deny women that,

  • then youre not treating them as equal.

  • No, what youre doing is youre denying that men and women are different

  • and that they were made different by a Creator God.

  • We are different and we were created for different roles.

  • But we are equal, we were all made in the image of God.

  • God blessed them”, in verse 28, “and said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.”

  • That 'subdue the earth' was also given to the woman.

  • But there is a different role in subduing the earth.

  • Now, I want to just...

  • for just a moment I want you to think, before we get to the idea of a women submitting to her husband,

  • I want you to just think about something. And this men, this is also for you.

  • Let’s say that there is a woman who looks at the biblical command of a woman submitting to her husband;

  • and then she looks over at her husband.

  • He’s a guy who works all the time;

  • but he works all the time, not necessarily to provide for his family. He works all the time

  • and then he’s with his buddies, and then he’s getting all kinds of things for his hobbies,

  • and he’s all about what he likes to do.

  • And in doing all the things he likes to do with all his buddies, he’s basically neglecting his wife and his children.

  • And a woman looks over at that and says to herself,

  • “I’ve got to submit to that? To a selfish boy, who basically lives for himself?”

  • That can really make a woman bitter.

  • But if a woman looks over and sees a man

  • and imprinted upon his face is:

  • Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done.”

  • She can look at him and she can still become embittered. Why?

  • Because he can say that and basically say the same thing.

  • “I’ve got to neglect you and our children because I’m all about the Kingdom of Heaven.”

  • How many pastor’s wives have become embittered

  • because the husband has sacrificed his family for Jesus' sake?

  • Okay. And that’s amazing because Romans 12:2 says that the will of God is perfect,

  • and what it means is this:

  • you don’t have to disobey some of God’s commands in order to obey the other ones.

  • So, you don’t have to disobey what God commanded you to do

  • with your wife and children in order to obey Him in what He commanded you to do in the ministry.

  • But if a woman looks over and sees a man,

  • and the man isThy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, hallowed be Thy Name”;

  • and he begins to live that out within his closest relationships;

  • that he strives thatthe Kingdom comein his wife

  • in fullness of joy;

  • and he strives that the Kingdom come into his children;

  • and the woman sees that he sacrifices friends, hobbies,

  • everything else for the sake of blessing his family,

  • then a woman looks at a man like that and goes, with a twinkle in her eye, “Yea,

  • yea I can follow a guy like that.

  • Who is selflessly giving himself away to his family. Sure.”

  • Do you see, men, again the responsibility of leadership?

  • You say, “Well, youre talking about us again. We wanted you to yell at our wives for a while.”

  • But see, again, if youre going to beyou know this. Some of you men are over other men.

  • You have jobs that place you over other men.

  • If those men that are under you mess up, the boss doesn’t go talk to them, does he?

  • He talks to you. Your men messed up. They are under your authority.

  • Do you see? It’s the same way.

  • And so, you know, this is something that is extremely important.

  • Now, we get to Genesis 2:23 and He says,

  • And man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

  • She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.”

  • Now, even though I believe that there is a way in which I think we can say

  • that our children are of our flesh.

  • If we want to be purest in the biblical language, we have to recognize

  • man and woman, husband and wife, are one flesh

  • in a deeper way than you could ever think about children.

  • I am not of one flesh, as it says here, with my children.

  • I am one flesh with my wife.

  • Now, someone can think

  • that theyve been a wonderful mother even though theyve been a failure as a wife-

  • and that’s not true.

  • If youve been a failure as a wife, youve been a failure as a mother.

  • Now, I have a friend in Peru, who is very bold, who on Mother’s Day, that’s what he preached.

  • He said he was bold, I said he was crazy.

  • But the greatest thing that my wife can do for her children,

  • is to love her husband and respect him.

  • Why should children respect their father

  • when they see the mother doesn’t even respect the father?

  • Now, so were one flesh.

  • It’s the highest and most important relationship.

  • And I am not a good father if I jump over the mother

  • and dedicate myself to the children, which is very easy to do.

  • Now men, one of the things that again is very important, is often times,

  • as men, were usually a bit more independent-

  • and some of us, very independent.

  • And so we think, “I’m handling my spiritual life, I’m an adult.

  • My wife ought to handle her spiritual life too.”

  • Well, even though your wife may be very godly, she was not created for that.

  • She is a woman who can grow before the Lord in her own right without us. That is true.

  • But she was also made to grow with us

  • and under our guidance and under our example.

  • And when we neglect that, we are neglecting something that’s very, very important.

  • The fact that men and women were made by God to be different.

  • Now, why did he make us this way?

  • Because marriage is not ultimately about marriage.

  • Marriage is ultimately about us representing the relationship between Christ and the church.

  • Can the church grow independently of Christ?

  • No.

  • Women were created to grow with their husbands,

  • with the help of their husbands, under the tutelage of their husbands.

  • That does not mean he lords it over her or he knows more than her,

  • but she was made just for that reason.

  • You leave her alone, or think that she’s strong and can make it on her own, which is often times my sin,

  • and youre going to mess up the whole thing of what God is wanting to do. Okay.

  • Now, we go on and, let’s go ahead now and let’s go to Ephesians 5:22.

  • Well let’s go to verse 21, “And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.”

  • So believers are to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

  • Wives submit to your own husband as to the Lord.”

  • Now, a lot of people will look at this and say, “Oh,

  • what he’s really talking about, because of verse 21, is that there ought to be a mutual submission.”

  • And by saying that, they cancel out submission all together.

  • If there’s mutual submission, then what do you do when there’s a disagreement?

  • And how can there be headship and leadership in mutual submission?

  • What you need to understand is that Paul is laying out something for us that’s very important.

  • In verse 21, he’s talking about believers, that there should be a sense of mutual submission.

  • For example: if I come to you

  • and show you with the Scriptures something that’s wrong in your life, you need to submit to it.

  • And if 3 weeks later, you come to me and show me something that’s wrong in my life, what should I do?

  • Should I say, “Well, I’m an elder and I don’t have to submit to you”? Absolutely not.

  • You can show me in Scripture. There is mutual submission. Do you see that?

  • Iron sharpening iron, brother sharpening brother, sister- sister, that’s very important.

  • So in the church there is mutual submission. Then he comes to marriage,

  • and he says, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands.”

  • Then he comes to the children in 6:1 and he says, “Children, obey your parents.”

  • And then he’s going to go on and he’s going to talk about slaves,

  • which in our terminology would be employees, submit to your employer.

  • And so he’s telling us something of the way we should function in society.

  • That in the body we should submit to one another.

  • When we go to 1 Peter we also learn that we ought to submit to our elders when theyre functioning

  • according to the Scriptures and can show us with the Scriptures.

  • We learn from Romans 13 that we ought to submit to the government.

  • We ought to pay taxes and things like that.

  • Well, here were learning that in the context of the family,

  • Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.” You do it for the sake of the Lord.

  • Now, let me just show you a practical way in which this works.

  • Let’s say that a big decision has to be made in our family;

  • and I look at that big decision. I don’t just make that decision

  • and say, “Well, I’m the boss.”

  • No. What I do ismy most trusted counselor,

  • with decisions regarding my family, should be my wife.

  • So, we have to make this big decision. I go and talk to my wife.

  • I want to hear what she has to say. And if were in agreement-BAM-okay, let’s make the decision.

  • If were not in agreement it doesn't mean...

  • I'll say this again, if we're not in agreement it doesn't mean,

  • Well, my wife’s not in agreement, so I’m not going to make the decision.”

  • But what it does mean is this: if she’s not in agreement, that’s a real red flag for me.

  • I mean, she’s my most trusted counselor in the family, so if were not in agreement, a red flag goes up for me.

  • And what I’m going to do is I’m going to postpone that decision if I can

  • so that she and I can pray together, talk about it more, until we come to unity.

  • And when we come to unity, I’ll make that decision.

  • But now, if the decision has to be made

  • and we can wait no longer,

  • as the head of my family, it is my job to make that decision.

  • And if I am right and my wife is wrong, I do not gloat over her.

  • And if she is right and I am wrong,

  • she does not gloat over me, ladies.

  • Dear sisters, there’s something you need to recognize.

  • Your husband is going to be judged more severely than you.

  • When he’s wrong, you should not gloat over him.

  • You should be broken hearted.

  • Because he’s going to be called to account for the wrong decision he has made.

  • You need to be praying for him.

  • His is a fearful, fearful job. Even though he may not know it,

  • even though your husband may just make decisions nonchalantly,

  • because he really hasn’t learned the fear of the Lord, you need to pray that he does.

  • And when he makes a wrong decision, you really need to be a blessing to him.

  • It's a hard thing. It's a very hard thing. It's a dangerous thing.

  • To whom much is given, much is required.”

  • Now, I want you to notice something here.

  • It says, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands,”

  • and then in the end, in verse 33, it says, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as

  • himself and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

  • Now, it’s interesting here that it doesn’t say that wives are supposed to love their husbands.

  • It says theyre supposed to submit to them and respect them.

  • And it’s interesting that here that it doesn’t say that husbands

  • are to submit to and respect their wives, but they are to love their wives.

  • Now, that does not mean that husbands are not to respect their wives

  • or that women aren’t to love their husbands. That’s not what it means.

  • But it does tell us something that’s very interesting.

  • I do not need

  • my wife to call me 3 times a day

  • and say, “Honey, I love you.”

  • I don’t need her to send me flowers that say, “I love you.”

  • I mean, I’m sorry, I just don’t need that. I don’t.

  • What do I need? I need my wife to respect me.

  • That’s what I need. As a man, I’m made different than a woman, I need my wife to respect me.