The first thing that we need to understand is:

if there’s two things that we could say about our society

(and here I think the United States and Canada are pretty much familiar)

is we are a culture that hates children.

Four thousand, in my country, a day are aborted.

They’re starting to build even restaurants that are "child free".

Resorts that are child free.

Condominiums child free.

Don’t want any of those "children" around.

And we’re also a society that hates women.

Now you might say, “Yeah, those male chauvinists, they hate women.” No.

Women hate women.

The people who hate women more than anybody else on this planet are feminists.

They hate women. They want women to be men. They don’t want them to be women.

And any woman who says, “I believe that it is my desire to be in my home,

to raise godly children,

to support my husband in the endeavors that he has to go through in order to provide for our family,”

any woman who does that is considered a failure

in our society. She is looked down upon.

And I know that from personal experience. I know the things that my wife has suffered.

The things that people have said because...

they say, “Why don’t you help your husband?”

And she says, “Well, I do.” “No, why don’t you get a job.

I mean, as a minister he doesn’t make that much money. You could provide other things. You could…” What?

Now, we’re going to look at a few things that are very, very important.

First of all, if we go to Genesis 1:27

it says, "And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created Him,

male and female He created them."

So, we see here that both man and woman were created in the image of God

and both of them have an equal standing before God.

The roles that they play in the marriage has nothing to do with a lack of equality.

When we will get to the point where it says that the man is the head of his home

and a wife is to live in submission to her husband, it does not mean that the wife

is less than her husband. It does not mean that. If you think it does, than guess what?

You’ve just destroyed the Trinity.

Because, did not the Son submit to His Father?

So did that make the Son less than His Father? If you say “yes”, than you have just committed heresy.

Within the Trinity itself,

the Son submitted to His Father and yet the Bible says the Son and Father are One and They are equal.

So, my wife and I, we are one and we are equal, we function in different roles.

Okay?

Now today, everyone says, “No, you’ve got to have the same roles or you’re not equal”.

That’s why there’s this push by feminists

(and they’ve won the day to be honest with you, they’ve won the day)

that women ought to be fighting on the front lines.

That women ought to be doing what men do in everything and if you deny women that,

then you’re not treating them as equal.

No, what you’re doing is you’re denying that men and women are different

and that they were made different by a Creator God.

We are different and we were created for different roles.

But we are equal, we were all made in the image of God.

“God blessed them”, in verse 28, “and said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.”

That 'subdue the earth' was also given to the woman.

But there is a different role in subduing the earth.

Now, I want to just...

for just a moment I want you to think, before we get to the idea of a women submitting to her husband,

I want you to just think about something. And this men, this is also for you.

Let’s say that there is a woman who looks at the biblical command of a woman submitting to her husband;

and then she looks over at her husband.

He’s a guy who works all the time;

but he works all the time, not necessarily to provide for his family. He works all the time

and then he’s with his buddies, and then he’s getting all kinds of things for his hobbies,

and he’s all about what he likes to do.

And in doing all the things he likes to do with all his buddies, he’s basically neglecting his wife and his children.

And a woman looks over at that and says to herself,

“I’ve got to submit to that? To a selfish boy, who basically lives for himself?”

That can really make a woman bitter.

But if a woman looks over and sees a man

and imprinted upon his face is:

“Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done.”

She can look at him and she can still become embittered. Why?

Because he can say that and basically say the same thing.

“I’ve got to neglect you and our children because I’m all about the Kingdom of Heaven.”

How many pastor’s wives have become embittered

because the husband has sacrificed his family for Jesus' sake?

Okay. And that’s amazing because Romans 12:2 says that the will of God is perfect,

and what it means is this:

you don’t have to disobey some of God’s commands in order to obey the other ones.

So, you don’t have to disobey what God commanded you to do

with your wife and children in order to obey Him in what He commanded you to do in the ministry.

But if a woman looks over and sees a man,

and the man is “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, hallowed be Thy Name”;

and he begins to live that out within his closest relationships;

that he strives that “the Kingdom come” in his wife

in fullness of joy;

and he strives that the Kingdom come into his children;

and the woman sees that he sacrifices friends, hobbies,

everything else for the sake of blessing his family,

then a woman looks at a man like that and goes, with a twinkle in her eye, “Yea,

yea I can follow a guy like that.

Who is selflessly giving himself away to his family. Sure.”

Do you see, men, again the responsibility of leadership?

You say, “Well, you’re talking about us again. We wanted you to yell at our wives for a while.”

But see, again, if you’re going to be… you know this. Some of you men are over other men.

You have jobs that place you over other men.

If those men that are under you mess up, the boss doesn’t go talk to them, does he?

He talks to you. Your men messed up. They are under your authority.

Do you see? It’s the same way.

And so, you know, this is something that is extremely important.

Now, we get to Genesis 2:23 and He says,

“And man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.”

Now, even though I believe that there is a way in which I think we can say

that our children are of our flesh.

If we want to be purest in the biblical language, we have to recognize

man and woman, husband and wife, are one flesh

in a deeper way than you could ever think about children.

I am not of one flesh, as it says here, with my children.

I am one flesh with my wife.

Now, someone can think

that they’ve been a wonderful mother even though they’ve been a failure as a wife-

and that’s not true.

If you’ve been a failure as a wife, you’ve been a failure as a mother.

Now, I have a friend in Peru, who is very bold, who on Mother’s Day, that’s what he preached.

He said he was bold, I said he was crazy.

But the greatest thing that my wife can do for her children,

is to love her husband and respect him.

Why should children respect their father

when they see the mother doesn’t even respect the father?

Now, so we’re one flesh.

It’s the highest and most important relationship.

And I am not a good father if I jump over the mother

and dedicate myself to the children, which is very easy to do.

Now men, one of the things that again is very important, is often times,

as men, we’re usually a bit more independent-

and some of us, very independent.

And so we think, “I’m handling my spiritual life, I’m an adult.

My wife ought to handle her spiritual life too.”

Well, even though your wife may be very godly, she was not created for that.

She is a woman who can grow before the Lord in her own right without us. That is true.

But she was also made to grow with us

and under our guidance and under our example.

And when we neglect that, we are neglecting something that’s very, very important.

The fact that men and women were made by God to be different.

Now, why did he make us this way?

Because marriage is not ultimately about marriage.

Marriage is ultimately about us representing the relationship between Christ and the church.

Can the church grow independently of Christ?

No.

Women were created to grow with their husbands,

with the help of their husbands, under the tutelage of their husbands.

That does not mean he lords it over her or he knows more than her,

but she was made just for that reason.

You leave her alone, or think that she’s strong and can make it on her own, which is often times my sin,

and you’re going to mess up the whole thing of what God is wanting to do. Okay.

Now, we go on and, let’s go ahead now and let’s go to Ephesians 5:22.

Well let’s go to verse 21, “And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.”

So believers are to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

“Wives submit to your own husband as to the Lord.”

Now, a lot of people will look at this and say, “Oh,

what he’s really talking about, because of verse 21, is that there ought to be a mutual submission.”

And by saying that, they cancel out submission all together.

If there’s mutual submission, then what do you do when there’s a disagreement?

And how can there be headship and leadership in mutual submission?

What you need to understand is that Paul is laying out something for us that’s very important.

In verse 21, he’s talking about believers, that there should be a sense of mutual submission.

For example: if I come to you

and show you with the Scriptures something that’s wrong in your life, you need to submit to it.

And if 3 weeks later, you come to me and show me something that’s wrong in my life, what should I do?

Should I say, “Well, I’m an elder and I don’t have to submit to you”? Absolutely not.

You can show me in Scripture. There is mutual submission. Do you see that?

Iron sharpening iron, brother sharpening brother, sister- sister, that’s very important.

So in the church there is mutual submission. Then he comes to marriage,

and he says, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands.”

Then he comes to the children in 6:1 and he says, “Children, obey your parents.”

And then he’s going to go on and he’s going to talk about slaves,

which in our terminology would be employees, submit to your employer.

And so he’s telling us something of the way we should function in society.

That in the body we should submit to one another.

When we go to 1 Peter we also learn that we ought to submit to our elders when they’re functioning

according to the Scriptures and can show us with the Scriptures.

We learn from Romans 13 that we ought to submit to the government.

We ought to pay taxes and things like that.

Well, here we’re learning that in the context of the family,

“Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.” You do it for the sake of the Lord.

Now, let me just show you a practical way in which this works.

Let’s say that a big decision has to be made in our family;

and I look at that big decision. I don’t just make that decision

and say, “Well, I’m the boss.”

No. What I do is… my most trusted counselor,

with decisions regarding my family, should be my wife.

So, we have to make this big decision. I go and talk to my wife.

I want to hear what she has to say. And if we’re in agreement-BAM-okay, let’s make the decision.

If we’re not in agreement it doesn't mean...

I'll say this again, if we're not in agreement it doesn't mean,

“Well, my wife’s not in agreement, so I’m not going to make the decision.”

But what it does mean is this: if she’s not in agreement, that’s a real red flag for me.

I mean, she’s my most trusted counselor in the family, so if we’re not in agreement, a red flag goes up for me.

And what I’m going to do is I’m going to postpone that decision if I can

so that she and I can pray together, talk about it more, until we come to unity.

And when we come to unity, I’ll make that decision.

But now, if the decision has to be made

and we can wait no longer,

as the head of my family, it is my job to make that decision.

And if I am right and my wife is wrong, I do not gloat over her.

And if she is right and I am wrong,

she does not gloat over me, ladies.

Dear sisters, there’s something you need to recognize.

Your husband is going to be judged more severely than you.

When he’s wrong, you should not gloat over him.

You should be broken hearted.

Because he’s going to be called to account for the wrong decision he has made.

You need to be praying for him.

His is a fearful, fearful job. Even though he may not know it,

even though your husband may just make decisions nonchalantly,

because he really hasn’t learned the fear of the Lord, you need to pray that he does.

And when he makes a wrong decision, you really need to be a blessing to him.

It's a hard thing. It's a very hard thing. It's a dangerous thing.

“To whom much is given, much is required.”

Now, I want you to notice something here.

It says, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands,”

and then in the end, in verse 33, it says, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as

himself and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Now, it’s interesting here that it doesn’t say that wives are supposed to love their husbands.