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  • Good morning.

  • Before we kick off let's get a bit of light in the room.

  • So I can see the faces of the dummi ---

  • the participants that we get later and see where you are.

  • That's a bit better. Good.

  • Everybody hold your right hand in front like this in a handshaking position.

  • Uncross your legs. Relaxed position. Right hand in front.

  • When I say "Now" here's what we're going to do.

  • You'll turn to someone besides you

  • shake hands as if meeting for the first time

  • and keep pumping till I ask you to stop.

  • Then you'll stop and freeze it

  • and we're going to analyze what's happening.

  • You got that?

  • No time to think about this. Do it now.

  • Pick anybody and pump. Pump, everybody.

  • Pump! Pump! Pump!

  • Freeze it. Hold it. Stop. Hold it. Freeze it.

  • Keep your hands locked. Keep them locked.

  • Person's whose hand is most on top is saying

  • I'll be the boss for the rest of the day.

  • (Laughter)

  • And when you meet people for the very first time

  • the first 4-minutes of meeting a new person

  • you decide pretty much 80% of your attitude about it, don't you?

  • You decide in the first 4-minutes of meeting somebody

  • if you'll give them a fair go, a fair hearing or if you're going to reject them.

  • The first thing is likely to happen is a handshake.

  • And I'm going to try a couple in the front row here.

  • You get one of three feelings when you lock hands with people.

  • First thing is -- it feels pretty good.

  • I think you and I will get on pretty well.

  • I think we could do business together.

  • We're going to get on well.

  • That was a good one. Let's try a second one.

  • Okay.

  • (Laughter)

  • Just check my cash, see if it's all still there, yeah.

  • Felt a bit intimidated there.

  • Let's try the third one.

  • Yes, she'll do anything I want. Won't you?

  • (Laughter)

  • Actually you all had roughly the same handshake.

  • But you do get one of three gut feelings. It has to do with two things.

  • One, the angle of the hand, second, the power of the hand.

  • I'll demonstrate. This gentleman in the front row.

  • Can you join me up here please?

  • Yes? The fellow looking concerned. (Applause)

  • Come up here.

  • Here's your modern western handshake. Here's how it looks.

  • It's been in this position for about 2,000 years.

  • If you go back 4,000 years to the Roman era,

  • on vases you would have seen it looking like this.

  • That's the original position. It has several significances.

  • So the troop leaders would meet after battle or training.

  • They're always men, so this has remained a male activity until recent times.

  • When they would meet they would do this.

  • If his arm was stronger it would go like this.

  • And you'd then say "He's got the upper hand."

  • Upper hand is an ancient Roman expression.

  • If he's got the upper hand, his guys get the first crack

  • at the wining, the dining and the dancing. My guys have to wait.

  • If it goes the other way my guys get first crack.

  • If it's in the middle it's 50/50.

  • This was originally done squatting. Now we do it standing.

  • So the fingers are below the wrist instead of above.

  • But essentially, we have the same position.

  • So when the hands lock if his hand is slightly on top --

  • doesn't have to be right on top, just a little bit.

  • I'll get a feeling, at a gut level, and we think this is hard wired

  • because you've never been trained to decode this.

  • But I get a feeling he's coming on a bit heavy.

  • It feels like, yeah, I think I get dominated here.

  • If it goes the other way,

  • I feel like I got this sucker all lined up, haven't I?

  • How do you create rapport with a handshake?

  • Here are the two rules. First keep your hand absolutely straight.

  • Second this takes a bit of practice, particularly if you're female.

  • Give the same pressure you receive.

  • So on a scale of 1 to 10.

  • Let's say that 10 is a really strong one,

  • and a 1 is four breakfast sausages. Okay?

  • Now let's try it again.

  • Okay, on a scale of 1 to 10, yours is about a 7.

  • Mine's about a 7 too. Therefore, it felt pretty good.

  • Neither got the upper hand, the dominant hand.

  • And that's why at a gut level we both felt pretty good.

  • I can see the look on your face. That felt okay.

  • Yeah, that felt good.

  • Yeah, that's very good.

  • What happens if you meet someone who's got --

  • This time you're going to give me a 9 and I've only got a 7.

  • So give me a 9 on intention.

  • Now the hand will go straight on top.

  • I've got to respond with an extra 20% just to level it up.

  • If I don't, he's going to have one up on me before we start.

  • He'll know it and I'll know it, but not a word's been said. Makes sense?

  • Give him a round of applause. Thank you.

  • (Applause)

  • There are more connections between your brain and the palm of your hands

  • then any other body part. Did you know this?

  • More connections between the brain and the palm of the hands.

  • Including men, ladies, then any other body part.

  • So clearly, the palms have evolved as an important part of human brains.

  • And they are. They make your bed. They brush your hair.

  • They do small artwork. They do handshakes. They play the piano.

  • They do more things than most other body parts.

  • But here's my question to you. When you're dealing with people

  • where you want to persuade them, convince them, get them on your side,

  • you want them to say "Yes" to whatever you're proposing.

  • Whether it's that job, or a date, or just get your idea accepted.

  • Where are your palms as you're talking?

  • This is something that most people have never considered. Never.

  • After this session you'll consider it, you'll think about it.

  • Later today you'll start to realize why people respond to you

  • in the way they do that you've never thought about.

  • Here's what I'm going to do.

  • I'm going to say the same thing three times.

  • I'm going to change only what I do with the palms of my hands.

  • I'll keep my body fairly still, so I'm not using any other body signals.

  • And I'll keep my voice as close to the same as I can.

  • I say as close as I can because when you change your body language,

  • it's hard wired to your brain to change how you sound.

  • I'll try to keep it as close as I can.

  • And I'll use exactly the same words. Same instruction 3 times.

  • Your task is to decide.

  • Do you accept what I'm saying, or do you reject me?

  • You want to fight me or go along with it?

  • You want to say Yes or No?

  • Okay, clear on this? Here we go.

  • First instruction, don't do this. Just imagine what we're going to do.

  • In a moment I'll ask the people sitting in these seats here,

  • I'll ask you to sit on this side of the room, please.

  • And I'll invite the people here to take their seats.

  • Those in the back come forward to the front.

  • And those in the front can sit anywhere you choose.

  • Raise your hand if you feel okay about what I'm asking.

  • Who's Okay? Raise your hand.

  • Just about all of you are prepared to do what I want.

  • You don't even know what that is. But you're prepared to do what I want,

  • because you feel like I won't threaten you, I won't intimidate you.

  • While it might look a bit silly, this could be a bit of fun.

  • That's what our mind's thinking.

  • I used a signal that appealed to your ancient brain.

  • Let's try the 2nd instruction. Same words. Same voice. Changing only the palms.

  • I'll ask the people sitting on this side

  • I'll invite you to take these seats.

  • The people here can sit over here.

  • Those at the back come forward please.

  • And those at the front can sit anywhere they like.

  • Give me a word that goes with this. What are you feeling, a word?

  • Feel like you're getting an order?

  • Raise your hand if you got an order.

  • Are you telling me that all I have to do is change my palms from an upward position

  • where you wanted to do anything I wanted without question.

  • I've turned them over and now you say to yourself,

  • Hang on a minute, this guy is giving me an order.

  • Well, maybe I don't want to do that.

  • I'm an independent.

  • I'll just check it all out.

  • Make me laugh, funny guy.

  • So now many of you are resisting? Let's try the third approach.

  • I'll ask the people sitting in these seats

  • if you come sit on this side please.

  • And those people can sit here.

  • The back of the room, you can come forward please. Sit here.

  • And those in the front can go anywhere you like.

  • Give me a word that goes with this.

  • And not a gesture, a word.

  • (Laughter)

  • I guess that was a word.

  • What are you feeling with this?

  • This is more than an order. This is a directive.

  • You have not choice and you're an idiot.

  • So we tested this in a very simple way.

  • We got an audience to sit in a room like this.

  • We got a speaker to present a proposal.

  • In 20 minutes they had to convince the audience to agree with the proposal.

  • The speaker was instructed to do the same thing 3 times

  • with 3 audiences same demographics we just changed the audiences.

  • The first time the speaker spoke primarily using palm up position.

  • That's how the proposal worked. Here's the bottom line.

  • It would work for you, sir.

  • It would work in Australia and in America.

  • That's the way they did the 1st proposal.

  • We moved that audience and put a 2nd audience in there.

  • Same presentations given to the same demographics,

  • but a different audience, using palm down.

  • Here's how the deal works.

  • It would work for you and you.

  • It would work in the United States and in Iceland.

  • Move that audience, put in a 3rd one,

  • they get the same presentation using finger pointing.

  • Here's the way it works and the bottom line.

  • It will work for you, you and you. And America, Australia and Africa.

  • Now we survey all three audiences looking for two things.

  • First, w/ a simple test, how much can they recall what the deal was about?

  • We were looking for how much were they listening to the deal

  • as opposed to judging the speaker.

  • Secondly, from a list of adjectives they were asked to pick those

  • that best described how they feel about the speaker.

  • You reckon there was any difference?

  • You already know the answer, don't you?

  • You know the answer already without ever seeing the results.

  • That the palm up speaker had up to 40% more retention of the deal

  • than the palm down speaker.

  • Palm up speaker had the best adjectives,

  • laid-back, friendly, humorous, engaging.

  • Palms turned over, authoritative, telling me what to do, pushy.

  • When the finger came out, nobody could remember much

  • and they got the worse adjectives about that person.

  • Now here's my question for you.

  • What's you prominent position?

  • You have a dominant position of one of these and which is yours?

  • People never considered.

  • But you've got one that you're using when you're dealing with others.

  • Now is it up, is it over, is it finger?

  • We know the palm down, historically, is a power signal.

  • There's 4 times more power in your hands facing down then up.

  • I think the famous example is Adolph Hitler.

  • The Nazi salute with "Heil Hitler". It freightened everybody.

  • How would he have gone if he had gone Heil Hitler?

  • (Laughing)

  • Nobody's going to follow Heil Hitler.

  • That's scary, that's submission.

  • Here's the good news about this.

  • You can change and modify your hand signals with a little practice.

  • When you first start to do this --

  • What happens if later today or tonight

  • you suddenly discover you're a finger pointer?

  • You're talking with your friends and you've forgotten this session.

  • They're watching your hand and there it is

  • hitting these silly idiots on the head knocking them into submission.

  • The thing about body language,

  • it's an outward reflection of your emotional condition.

  • All body language shows is how you're feeling.

  • Whatever attitude or emotional you're feeling is likely to be reflected

  • in gesture, movement or posture.

  • Now the reverse is true as well.

  • If you intentionally take certain positions or postures,

  • you'll start to feel the emotions that go with it.

  • For example, everybody copy this.