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  • Who's single in here? Raise your hands.

  • [audience cheers]

  • Who's ready to mingle in here?

  • [audience cheers]

  • Less than the people that were single.

  • [laughter]

  • That's not evenbut anyway.

  • Look around, find each other,

  • and then get together after the show.

  • Good luck. [laughter]

  • You're welcome.

  • It's not easy to find love, and that's why,

  • whenever I hear about a new dating site,

  • I like to share it with you to help you out.

  • It seems like nowadays there's a site for everyone.

  • I mean, they're so individualized now.

  • This one right here I found is called Cougar Life.

  • [laughter]

  • In case you don't know, a cougar

  • is a woman who wants to date a much younger man.

  • Of course, there is also a name

  • for men who want to date much younger women.

  • They're called men.

  • [laughter]

  • She's— [cheers and applause]

  • Yeah. That's right.

  • [chuckles]

  • It took you a minute.

  • You're like, "Yes, that is right, Ellen."

  • [laughter]

  • She's holding a pie because, of course,

  • that's how you attract younger men.

  • [laughter]

  • It's the pie they're after.

  • Here's a site, and it's called Love Horse.

  • And it's a dating site.

  • It says, "Dating for horse and country lovers."

  • And the way it works is, if you like someone,

  • you click "yes," and if you're not interested,

  • you click "nay."

  • [laughter]

  • Thank you.

  • [applause] Thank you.

  • Thanks so much.

  • It's a great place to find a "stable" partner.

  • [laughter]

  • I'm done. I'm done.

  • This next one was started by someone who wasn't having

  • a lot of luck with online dating so he made his own site,

  • and it is called datebrandonscottwolf.com.

  • [laughter]

  • So it says, "The number one online dating site

  • for Brandon Scott Wolf."

  • So if you're looking for Brandon Scott Wolf,

  • look no further.

  • He's right there.

  • This is definitely the best place

  • to meet Brandon Scott Wolf.

  • Here's one, and this is called Dating for Hippies.

  • [laughter]

  • It says, "Meet 'free-spirited' singles near you."

  • And I believe "free-spirited" is code for "does not shower."

  • [laughter]

  • Look at themthe way they're kissing.

  • I don't know what thatwhat's happening.

  • It's not really kissing.

  • It's more like he's like, "What's that smell?

  • Is that you?" [laughter]

  • "Is that me? Who is it?

  • It's one of us. Who smells like that?"

  • She's like, "I don't know. It's someone."

  • [laughter]

  • They don't—they're just like

  • they think they're hugging a tree.

  • They're not supposed to kiss it. They just

  • If you live in Colorado, you might want to

  • check out Stoner Singles.

  • [laughter]

  • Yeah.

  • [applause]

  • Yep.

  • I'm confused by this.

  • This site doesn't even look finished yet,

  • which makes sense, 'cause it's made...

  • [laughter] By a stoner.

  • Anyway, for all you singles out there,

  • I hope that helps, and for all you married people,

  • I hope it makes you grateful that you're not single.

  • [laughter]

Who's single in here? Raise your hands.

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A2 初級

エレンはあなたがデートを見つけるのに役立ちます (Ellen Helps You Find a Date)

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    Veasna に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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