Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • [music playing]

  • -Lad, the idea is, I make a move, you make a move.

  • Not I make a move, wait half an hour,

  • then drop dead of boredom.

  • -If you do, do I win?

  • -Just make a move.

  • -OK.

  • My horse takes your king.

  • -How'd you figure that out?

  • -My horse countercepts your pawn, gallops

  • around your bishop, jumps over your queen,

  • and lands on your king, squishing him to a pulp.

  • -Yes!

  • You know, one day they might invent

  • a computer that can beat me.

  • -Great.

  • Then we could hang out with it instead of you.

  • -Ha.

  • Ha.

  • You don't have to be here.

  • You don't even like chess.

  • -I like chess.

  • You know why?

  • It's got absolutely nothing to do with vampires.

  • No bats, no blood, no--

  • [door opening]

  • VAN HELSING: All right, listen up.

  • -No slayers.

  • -Miss Clellans had an unfortunate accident on the way

  • here.

  • So you'll be delighted to hear, I'm

  • taking the Chess Club this evening.

  • -Aw.

  • -Very funny.

  • Now settle down.

  • And I suggest you concentrate.

  • -But, that's check mate.

  • -Only then will you become a grand chess

  • master like the great Chandu.

  • -Shan who?

  • -Chandu.

  • Chandu was a Hungarian count from the 18th century,

  • and remains the greatest chess player who ever lived.

  • -I've never heard of him.

  • -That's hardly surprising.

  • But I'm sure your father will know who he is.

  • Which reminds me.

  • This is from the Headmistress.

  • -Aw, please, not parent's evening.

  • -It's a reminder that all parents must attend.

  • -If Dad sees this, it'll be a disaster.

  • I've got to get rid of it.

  • -But Master Vlad, won't you get in terrible trouble?

  • It's from your headmistress.

  • -I know.

  • And it'd be great for Dad to take

  • an interest in my school work, but-- no.

  • There's just no way.

  • It's too dangerous.

  • -Oh.

  • Ah.

  • -There, now that'll be the end of it.

  • -Parent's evening.

  • What a marvelous idea.

  • -Where did you get that letter?

  • -Ingrid gave it to me.

  • I have to say, parent's evening sounds great fun.

  • -You don't even know what it is.

  • -Lots of parents feasting on the blood

  • of their least favorite offspring?

  • -Not quite.

  • It's where you come and talk to our teachers

  • about how we're doing at school.

  • -Ugh.

  • Sounds ghastly.

  • In that case, I'm not going.

  • Oh, really Vladimir, tell me you're

  • not losing to a stuffed dog.

  • -Grr.

  • -He's a wolf.

  • -Either way, you're going to have

  • to practice if you want to be as good as me.

  • The greatest chess player to stalk the earth.

  • -I thought that was the Great Chandu.

  • -What did you say?

  • -The Great Chandu.

  • Mr. Van Helsing said he was the best chess player in the world.

  • -[roars]

  • -What did I say?

  • -I am the greatest chess player ever.

  • And I can prove it.

  • -OK.

  • As nice as it is to be involved in family business for once,

  • I was painting my nails.

  • -Be quiet, Ingrid!

  • This is important.

  • What I am about to tell you is the story

  • of how you and your brother came to be.

  • -Oh no, you're not going to tell us

  • about the birds and the bees, are you?

  • -Now listen.

  • 300 years ago, Chandu and I were in love with the same girl.

  • Your mother Magda.

  • -So to decide who should win her affections, we played chess.

  • -Romantic.

  • -For centuries, chess has settled

  • all matter of gentlemanly disputes.

  • Destiny decided she and I would be together forever.

  • -Until she ran off with a werewolf.

  • -While Chandu suffered the fate of all losers.

  • Death by mummification.

  • -[coughing]

  • -So you see?

  • Here lies proof that I am indeed the best chess player ever.

  • -Is that it?

  • You dragged us all the way down here just to tell us

  • you beat some stinking mummy at chess?

  • -Next time Mr. Van Helsing tells me something,

  • I'll keep it to myself.

  • -Vladimir, no one slurs the name of a Dracula!

  • Now go.

  • Leave me with my memories.

  • I want to be alone.

  • --[whistling] Just uh, dusting your bat collection, Master.

  • -Curse that teacher.

  • Saying Chandu is better than me!

  • -Surely you won't let him get away with it, Master.

  • -Renfield, I think the time has finally

  • come to venture into the world of breathers.

  • -Uh, Vladimir, about this, this parent's evening--

  • -I know.

  • You'd rather cut off your arms and feed

  • them to a giant dung beast.

  • -Well they were Ingrid's arms actually.

  • But the point is, all this talk of you mother

  • has made me realize you deserve one parent there at least.

  • -Don't worry about it.

  • -No, no, no.

  • It's no problem.

  • -I really don't mind.

  • -I'm coming.

  • -You can't.

  • It's not safe for you to go in daylight.

  • -Well, it'll be a challenge.

  • -A challenge?

  • You'll melt.

  • And what if you bite someone?

  • The place'll be full of breathers.

  • -Yes.

  • I know.

  • -Dad!

  • -Oh really, Vladimir.

  • You should have more faith in me.

  • -[sigh]

  • -I'm going to parent's evening tomorrow.

  • And that is final.

  • Wuh-wuh.

  • Ha, ha, ha.

  • -[sigh] Now what do I do?

  • if Dad bites someone at school, I'll be on the first ship

  • back to Transylvania.

  • -Buy a cabin by the window?

  • [laughter]

  • [thunder]

  • -I can't believe you gave Dad that letter.

  • Have you any idea how dangerous that is?

  • What if he runs into Mr. Van Helsing?

  • -That loser?

  • He's no match for Dad.

  • You're just worried he'll hear what a goody two fangs you are.

  • Whereas, when he hears how wicked and evil I am,

  • he'll have to be proud of me.

  • -Ah, I can't wait to leave the castle.

  • Do me good to stretch my wings.

  • -Dad, you can't turn into a bat at school.

  • -Oh, too showy?

  • -Too, oh, Vlad's Dad's a vampire.

  • -Breather lover's got a point.

  • Maybe you shouldn't wear the cape either.

  • -Ah.

  • Not even if I wear this with it?

  • INGRID: Especially not if you wear that.

  • -Right.

  • You know, really, you two relax.

  • What's the worst that can happen? [laughs]

  • -Parent's evening.

  • -Don't.

  • Just the words, "parent's evening,"

  • sounds like someone's screaming inside my head.

  • -Your Dad is coming to parent's evening?

  • What if Van Helsing finds out?

  • He'll denounce him in front of everybody.

  • -That's if he doesn't run a great big stake

  • through your Dad's heart.

  • -Shush!

  • -Yes, I know.

  • I tried talking him out of it, but you know what he's like.

  • What am I going to do?

  • -Look, don't panic.

  • Robin and I will make sure that Van Helsing

  • stays well away from your Dad.

  • -Yes!

  • Ah!

  • Jonathan!

  • You know I can't stand skeletons,

  • they give me the creeps!

  • -Sorry.

  • We can't exactly water the biology display.

  • -Well, get rid of it.

  • We've got work to do.

  • Count Dracula is coming to parent's evening,

  • and do you know why?

  • -He's a parent?

  • -No, because of my careful research.

  • I knew I'd lure him out of the castle sooner or later.

  • Jonno, prepare yourself for a showdown.

  • -They'll uh, never guess you're a vampire wearing this, Master.

  • And it's 100% sun-proof.

  • -You've done well, Renfield.

  • Now for the final touch.

  • Sunglasses.

  • The other ones.

  • Mm.

  • Perfect.

  • That Van Helsing won't know what bit him.

  • -Now Robin, it doesn't matter what your teachers say tonight,

  • so long as you've gotten over this morbid obsession

  • with vampires.

  • -Yes, Mum.

  • -And if not, we've decided to send you to Happy Camp.

  • -Happy Camp?

  • -It's where troubled children go to learn how to be happy.

  • -Through happy music and happy dance.

  • -Ugh, just kill me now.

  • -Right.

  • Won't take me long to deal with that woodwork teacher.

  • In fact, go fetch a bottle of my finest blood.

  • If I can't drink it, I'll just admire it.

  • -Yes Master.

  • -Mr. And Mrs. Branagh, it's nice to meet you.

  • I'm Mr. Perkins, Robin's art teacher.

  • -Oh, it's lovely to meet you.

  • Art is Robin's favorite subject.

  • Even as a toddler, he was always drawing.

  • -What was it you used to paint, Robin?

  • -Dad, I don't know.

  • -Oh yes, that's right. Big, pink, bunny rabbits.

  • -Dad!

  • -Rabbits.

  • Interesting.

  • And when--

  • [wind blowing]

  • -And when-- did you feel that?

  • -Must be a draft.

  • My neck's just gone completely cold.

  • [thunder]

  • -Hooey!

  • Mr. Count!

  • -Oh, no.

  • It's that interminable Branagh woman.

  • Just ignore her.

  • -Dad!