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  • [theme music]

  • [laughing creepily]

  • [humming]

  • -Dental floss, Master.

  • -Renfield, ugh.

  • Go to your hole!

  • -Thank you, Master.

  • An early night.

  • -Is that a toffee in your mouth?

  • -It's, it's a very, very chewy cockroach.

  • -How dare you bring confectionery into this house?

  • What if my precious son Vlad should find them?

  • -It was your precious son who I stole

  • them from in the first place.

  • He's got a, he's got a whole stash in his bedroom.

  • -Oh he has, has he?

  • All right.

  • -Robin and I are going to have so much fun.

  • -The point I was trying to make is that a sleepover isn't

  • the most sensible idea you've ever had, Vlad.

  • What about your father?

  • -Look, I know Dad may be an evil, bloodsucking vampire,

  • but he's actually pretty chilled out these days.

  • COUNT DRACULA: Vladimir!

  • All right, hand over the sugar.

  • -Sugar?

  • What sugar?

  • -Vladimir.

  • -Come on, a few sweets won't hurt.

  • -Won't hurt?

  • You're a vampire.

  • How do you expect to bite people if you

  • don't have strong and healthy teeth?

  • -Dad, I don't want to bite people.

  • -Well, you will one day.

  • Now hand over the sweets, or I'll

  • book you in for a checkup with Renfield.

  • -Renfield?

  • Sorry, dad.

  • What was I thinking?

  • I'll never eat sweets again.

  • I promise.

  • Phew.

  • That was a narrow escape.

  • -Why are you smiling?

  • You've lost all your sweets.

  • -You don't grow up living with the Prince of Darkness

  • without picking up the old trick or two.

  • He set fire to my pajamas.

  • -I'm not sure it's wise to eat quite

  • so many sweets, Master Vlad.

  • -Not you as well, Zoltan.

  • My teeth are fine.

  • [cracking sound]

  • -Ow.

  • -Oh, Master Vlad.

  • A little toothache, eh?

  • We'll soon have that sorted.

  • Open wide.

  • [screams]

  • -It's all right.

  • You were having a nightmare.

  • -Morning!

  • -What do you want?

  • -Your father told me to fix the door.

  • But I could fix you as well, if you'd like.

  • [zoltan growls]

  • -Get on, up you go.

  • You'll be late.

  • Oh!

  • -Morning.

  • -Oh!

  • -Graham, what's happened?

  • -Dad, you're so gullible.

  • It's just my new home makeup kit.

  • -Robin, I thought there had been a murder or something.

  • -Oh, don't worry.

  • That could still be arranged.

  • -Is everything all right, Vlad?

  • -Mmhmm.

  • Absolutely.

  • Morning, Ingrid.

  • Happy birthday.

  • -I'm a Dracula.

  • I'm far too evil for birthdays.

  • -So you might want this card from your mother, then.

  • -Dad!

  • You garlic muncher.

  • -Language, Ingrid.

  • -That was cruel, even for you.

  • -Oh yes, I've still got it.

  • [cackles]

  • -Ruler.

  • Pencil.

  • -Pencil.

  • -Scalpel.

  • -Scalpel?

  • -Joke.

  • -It's not funny.

  • I need to find out what's wrong with my teeth,

  • preferably before our sleepover.

  • -Well, this book of yours isn't helping.

  • That is, it wouldn't be anything to do with the change,

  • would it?

  • -The change happens at the age of 16.

  • I've got three whole years until I start growing fangs.

  • -Growing fangs?

  • Wicked.

  • What does it say?

  • -Nothing important.

  • -When a young vampire complains of dental discomfort,

  • he may be about to embark on the change.

  • -Robin, this occurs at the age of 16.

  • -But can happen several years earlier.

  • -Do you know what this means?

  • I'm turning into a vampire.

  • [music playing]

  • -Gotcha, you Transylvanian vermin!

  • -Congratulations, Jon-o.

  • You're now a grade one vampire slayer.

  • -Yeah, yeah.

  • Whatever, Dad.

  • So when are we going camping?

  • -Camping?

  • -Yes.

  • You promised to take me once I got my grade one.

  • -Did I?

  • -Yes.

  • -All right.

  • Well, this weekend, I suppose.

  • -Wicked.

  • [bell rings]

  • -Come on, let's get this all cleared away.

  • -For the last time, I am not a dork or an orc or a wok.

  • -Ah!

  • -Chill out, it's just makeup.

  • -Yeah, I knew that.

  • Just humoring you.

  • Ah!

  • -Jon-o.

  • Quieten down!

  • Before there's a class detention.

  • And Branagh, wash that muck off your face.

  • -I can't believe you did that.

  • -Come on, it was funny.

  • -Stupid as well, with Van Helsing around.

  • -Look, maybe you should talk to your dad about your teeth.

  • -And tell him I'm going through the change?

  • Are you crazy?

  • -Won't he be pleased?

  • -Pleased?

  • He'll throw a party.

  • -Wicked.

  • Can I come?

  • -No. There's not going to be a party.

  • -Surprise!

  • Oh.

  • -How did you know?

  • -Where's Ingrid?

  • -Oh, you're having a birthday party for Ingrid.

  • -Well, I know she's only a pointless female, but-- oh

  • Ingrid, darling, happy birthday!

  • -Wow.

  • Really, this is all for me?

  • -And you thought we'd forgotten.

  • -Renfield's been out shopping all week.

  • -Oh, Dad.

  • It's perfect.

  • This is the best birthday ever.

  • I can't believe it.

  • All right, what's going on?

  • -Nothing's going on, my precious.

  • We just want you to look your best for your husband.

  • -I don't have a husband.

  • -You do now.

  • Renfield, introduce Adrianus.

  • -Unfortunately, Adrianus could not be with us today.

  • So he recorded this special message.

  • -Hello, Ingrid.

  • Let me introduce you to my goats.

  • -We're not going.

  • -What do you mean, we're not going?

  • I passed my grade one Vampire Slayer exam.

  • -Yeah, and then you failed it when

  • you made a big ninny of yourself in class.

  • -Well, all right.

  • I'll do the test again.

  • I mean, it wasn't exactly hard, was it?

  • -Oh, I see.

  • So grade one is too easy.

  • Well, let's see how you cope with grade three.

  • -Ooh, grade three.

  • -Yeah, that's right, Jon-o.

  • In at the deep end.

  • Let's see if you've got what it takes to be a real slayer.

  • -Sir Voz, Fluffy, and Iris, our goats.

  • And this is the coffin we will one day share, along

  • with the rest of my family, of course.

  • Yes, life is hard here in Transsiberia

  • But we know good fortune has finally come our way now

  • that the beautiful daughter of Count Dracula

  • has agreed to be my wife.

  • -This had better be a joke.

  • -I knew you'd be pleased.

  • -I'll pack your bags.

  • -This is all your fault!

  • -What did I do?

  • -You wore born.

  • -Look, you're not the only one with the problems.

  • -Ready, Jon-o?

  • Your first challenge.

  • Come on, Jon-o.

  • -I'm not eating worms.

  • -Don't be such a big girl's blouse.

  • Mmm.

  • Mmm.

  • -That-- this is spaghetti.

  • -Got you.

  • But you passed, well done, son.

  • -Does that mean we get to go camping now?

  • -Don't be ridiculous.

  • They don't give a grade three away just like that.

  • One challenge gone, two more to go.

  • -So you'll fly over tomorrow to collect her?

  • Splendid, splendid.

  • [boom]

  • INGRID: Open up, or I'll put garlic in your slippers.

  • -Ingrid-- oh yes, she's very excited.

  • Hello?

  • Hello?

  • Ingrid, I'm try to talk to your husband.

  • -He's not my husband.

  • -No, but he will be.

  • -You just want to get rid of me!

  • -Of course I do.

  • Then it will just be me and Vladdie, forever.

  • -Well, I don't need Adrianus.

  • I've already got a boyfriend.

  • -Well, why the flaming torches didn't you tell me, silly girl?

  • I must meet him immediately.

  • Tonight.

  • -Well, there's always been a bit of chemistry.

  • But it's official-- I'm Ingrid's boyfriend.

  • -Pretend boyfriend, Robin, and for one night only.

  • -Aren't you forgetting something, Robin?

  • Our sleepover?

  • -Well, the thing is-- Ingrid is very pretty.

  • -But you're supposed to be my friend.

  • -Vlad, don't be so selfish.

  • If I can't prove I've got a boyfriend,

  • Dad's going to send me off to Transsiberia.

  • -Oh dear.

  • Send us a postcard when you get there.

  • -Do what you have to, Robin.

  • I've got plenty of other friends.

  • Chloe, do you want to come to my sleepover?

  • -Yeah, I'd love to.

  • -You're aware of Vlad's little fang issues, are you?

  • -I'm sure it's just a bit of toothache, that's all.

  • -Since when were vampires your specialist subject?

  • Still, if you know you're doing--

  • -Ignore her, Vlad.